TOASTER COLLECTORS: STUPID? OR INSANE?
We report; you decide.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
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July 23, 2004
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"He has over 400 toasters, and he's never seen one of these."
Don't get out much, do ya, Buddy? Is your life toast?
Posted by: MOTW | July 23, 2004 at 07:16 AM
"Its large "picture window" feature — with 5-inch by 4-inch glass panels on both sides"
Wow! Even more exciting then watching paint dry!
Posted by: Tetsu | July 23, 2004 at 07:18 AM
You know... if you paint the toast before you put it in, you could do both!
Posted by: Rick | July 23, 2004 at 07:19 AM
BTW, I don't know what's more scary, the fact that there's an eBay category specifically for collectible toasters, or that it currently has 203 listings...
Posted by: Frogstein | July 23, 2004 at 07:23 AM
Stupid or insane? Is the answer "both" an option?
Posted by: Ol' Chumbucket | July 23, 2004 at 07:25 AM
I tried "wangling" something once. Only ended up in an indecency charge and a restraining order.
Posted by: Brian B | July 23, 2004 at 07:30 AM
Thanks, frogstein.
More scary: "I understand these were called the 'GRACE KELLY' of Toasters in the 40's!"
I wonder: is Algona going to open a Toaster Museum, too?
Posted by: MOTW | July 23, 2004 at 07:31 AM
I think someone ought to try the Pop Tart experiment on one of these. You could monitor the action inside before the flames actually appeared.
Posted by: Peri | July 23, 2004 at 07:34 AM
Collectible Toasters! Get 'em While They're Hot!
(How much you wanna bet this very headline shows up regarding this story within the next 3 days?)
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 07:43 AM
Well, at least it's not West Virginia, where they have confirmed sightings of the West African Snail .
* not sure if I can come up with a song about toasters, too ... *
Posted by: MOTW | July 23, 2004 at 07:46 AM
How about "Toast-O-Lators" WBAGNFARB ? Wasn't that an Arnold Swarts. movie?
Posted by: Sean | July 23, 2004 at 07:52 AM
Sean
It was a line from the toaster movie, where the thermostat is set to max: "Ahh'll be black."
Posted by: MOTW | July 23, 2004 at 07:55 AM
$5000+ for an old toaster?!? - I guess I'll never be a toaster collector, too cynical, no sense for nostalgia or maybe I'm just not that stupid.
Posted by: bm | July 23, 2004 at 07:56 AM
If Xerox made toasters ... You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | July 23, 2004 at 07:57 AM
"..found that the antique appliance was a Toast-O-Lator manufactured in 1939 by the Crocker-Wheeler Toaster Co."
Toast-O-Lator.. good name for a rock band? I suppose so, as long as they "Jam".
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by: Dave (not Barry.. calm down) | July 23, 2004 at 08:04 AM
Stupid? Insane? This requires a new word, like Stupinsanity, or Insanitupidity.
Posted by: mbgordon81 | July 23, 2004 at 08:18 AM
I've got some old toast I'd be willing to part with for a couple of thousand bucks . . .
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 08:19 AM
Lairbo - does it have an image of Grace Kelly toasted into it?
Posted by: MOTW | July 23, 2004 at 08:25 AM
MOTW: yes, this guy's life IS toast.
The winning bidder's user name is mntoast, as if he's the MOST important guy-around-toast in Minnesota. He must live in Fargone.
Posted by: igwanna | July 23, 2004 at 08:33 AM
MOTW
I think I could manage one, but only if vintage Cub Scout woodburning kits become valuable collectibles. I'll have to check on eBay, unless Mahatma's already beat me to it.
Come to think of it, toast with images of celebrities on it could easily wind up selling like hotcakes on eBay [has anyone ever tried selling actual hotcakes on eBay? MKJ?] . Elvis toast, 'specially, I bet. Now, where'd I put that woodburning kit? It was here when I last used it in 1967 . . .
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 08:39 AM
On Jul-11-04 at 20:39:25 PDT, seller added the following information:
another quick revision------IT DOES HAVE AN ON & OFF SWITCH on one end!
--I had no idea the world of toaster auctioning could be so exciting. An on and off switch, WOW! And sure enough, the bidding took off after she posted this. My life is missing something.
And Grace Kelly must be browning in her grave...
Posted by: igwanna | July 23, 2004 at 08:42 AM
mbgordon81 around this blog, I believe the term is "it was such an intensity"
Posted by: surfbunny | July 23, 2004 at 08:44 AM
nice recall surfbunny. LOL.
Posted by: iolite | July 23, 2004 at 08:55 AM
Why do bidders suddenly appear,
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they want to
Be Toaster, youu. Toaster youuuu.
On the day that you were chromed,
the Angels got together,
and decided to create a dream come true.
So they sprinkled toast-crumbs
in your vents and golden Poptarts
in your rack like newwwwww.
Just like me, they want to be
Toaster youuuu.
*With many apologies to Karen Carpenter, who, sadly (for us), and thankfully,(for her), did not live long enough to read this.*
Posted by: Lily | July 23, 2004 at 09:18 AM
Lily
If Karen Carpenter had eaten more toast, she might be alive today. Hey, how about a toaster that burns an image of Karen Carpenter onto each slice of bread?
Excellent work on the song, there. But now I've got a Carpenter's earwig for probably the rest of the afternoon. Quick! Somebody post something about Jimi Hendrix!
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 09:31 AM
Toaster, I've got one burnin' desire
Let me stand next to your fire
Posted by: Blogchik | July 23, 2004 at 09:40 AM
Lily: "Toaster you" making me laugh uncontrollably. Now I got some 'splainin to do for my coworkers.
Posted by: Tetsu | July 23, 2004 at 09:40 AM
Tetsu- I think that's a common problem for us bloglits. I've gotten funny looks before, myself.
Posted by: Blogchik | July 23, 2004 at 09:41 AM
Lairbo, given the toaster and poptart references
*Light my fire* by the doors might be appropriate.
Posted by: markhh | July 23, 2004 at 09:44 AM
Lily, thankfully I was alone when I read your lyrics. LOL.
Posted by: iolite | July 23, 2004 at 09:44 AM
Unless there is a good song by that famous Pop-Tart Britney Spears.
Posted by: Lily | July 23, 2004 at 09:47 AM
You just never know what's going to pop up on eBay.
Posted by: Shannon | July 23, 2004 at 09:53 AM
markhh
Thanks for the Doors distraction. I'd been thinking of Toasty Haze or Purple Toast, or Toasty Lady or something. Actually, maybe Supertramp's "Breakfast in America" has something appropriate. Or maybe a selection from the ourve of the late, unlamented (very) soft rock group "Bread".
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 10:02 AM
There once was a Minnesotta man
Who was quite the Toast-a-lator fan
He spent thousands on E-bay
‘Till his wife caught him one day
And that’s when the toast hit the fan
Posted by: slowlayne | July 23, 2004 at 10:04 AM
Her name was Charlotte, she was on eBay
With yellow feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there
She go to swap-meets, and do the Cha-Cha
And while she tried to make a buck, she always had bad luck
She saw it then, she wangled the price down ten,
It was a beautiful Crocker-Wheeler
Who could ask for more
Chorus:
It was a toaster, a Crocker-Wheeler
The hottest little auction on eBay
It was a Toaster, a Crocker-Wheeler
4 x 5 panels of glass were the fashion
on the Toaster
They fell in love
His name was a collector, from Minnesota
Not a brain was in his head, when he placed his final bid
When it was finished, he called her over
He said "Where's my Toaster now? I need to impress the chicks somehow"
He got his toaster then, he plugged it in and then
There was smoke and a burning pop tart
But just who's pop tart?
(Chorus)
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 23, 2004 at 10:14 AM
Sorry, that should be "he was a collector" my brain is toasted
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 23, 2004 at 10:15 AM
Damn that Maurice Bennet! That Kiwi bastard is always one step ahead of me. Okay, maybe three or four but you get the idea.
Posted by: Lairbo | July 23, 2004 at 10:33 AM
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
Hey! It's Elvis! I saw it in that toaster!
OWNER OF TOASTER:
What are you talking about? The sucker hasn't even worked for years! Why would Elvis be in that one?
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
I dunno. I saw it, though. It's there! You just don't believe. If you believe, you'll see it.
OWNER:
Nah. No way.
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
I'll give you $1000 for this piece of history.
OWNER:
$1000 for THAT? Yeah, of course!
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
OK. It's a deal, then.
[collector writes check for $1000 and takes toaster home]
TOASTER COLLECTOR [to his wife]:
Look what I got today. Elvis is in this toaster!
WIFE:
Ya know, Elvis looks a lot like me. What do you think?
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
Nah. Looks more like me.
WIFE:
It's just your reflection, silly! Wait a sec...how much did you pay for this?
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
$1000. Stupid, I know. Sorry...
WIFE:
WHAT?!?! $1000?! Are you insane? Stupid?
TOASTER COLLECTOR:
Well...a little bit of both. I like to call it "insanely stupid."
Posted by: Alex | July 23, 2004 at 10:39 AM
what if it was a French toaster? great job Lily. and thanks to mudstuffin, good job, but now i have a Barry M. earworm. help. somebody!! some motown, please!
Posted by: queensbee | July 23, 2004 at 10:54 AM
Lairbo: Bread = soft rock.
They were soft, then they went stale....
queensbee: motown...
Buyin' toasters off of ebay.
watching my cash burn away...
Posted by: markhh | July 23, 2004 at 11:06 AM
Tetsu. That was mean. Especially using tinyurl to disguise it.
Posted by: markhh | July 23, 2004 at 11:12 AM
Toast rules!
Posted by: Zed | July 23, 2004 at 11:31 AM
GOOD ONE Brian B, we haven't seen much from you lately. Back now?
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 23, 2004 at 11:35 AM
Lily: classic song!
I'm not sure if Toast-o-Lator wbagnfarb or not, but I am taking opinions on Sacramento Girlie Men. What do you think?
One I'm betting on is Parliamentary Porn.
I mean, it can't miss, right?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 23, 2004 at 11:41 AM
Check out the number of mounted butterflies the winning bidder has also recently purchased...yessirree, there aren't ENOUGH toaster/butterfly collectors running around America....
Posted by: Katie | July 23, 2004 at 03:39 PM
Damn that tinyurl.
Posted by: Leetie | July 24, 2004 at 07:04 AM
And YOU, mudstuffin!
Couldn't you have picked an earworm that doesn't dig so deep?
Posted by: Leetie | July 24, 2004 at 07:28 AM
Wow... great thread! Nicely toasted!
I know there was a Hello Kitty toaster that made a little kitty face on the toast. I still think it's creepy.
Posted by: Sharlit | July 25, 2004 at 05:18 PM