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July 22, 2004

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

There's a crime wave in Ft. Lauderdale.

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Manatee swingers? Manatee molestation???

What about this quote?

Many touched the manatees and a few attempted to ride them.

Later:

"If we observe or see an individual that is doing that, they will be arrested," said Jorge Pino...

(Ahem) If I observed a human *touching* or *riding* a manatee, I wouldn't stick around.

Four males to one female? Egad!

So much for "Manatee for Two."

GANG BANG! Everyone jump the Queen!

History of the World Part II

Yes - the real crime wave isn't people "taking" "touching" or whatever - it's the fact that four male Manatee coerce the female into shallow water for fornication.

Manatee rape

which is an anagram of Ape-Man Eater, incidentally

On a VERY serious note:

What the people did was literally criminal. Manatees are an endangered species. One hefty gentleman was shown on the evening news proudly stating that he "jumped on" a sea cow. Nice.

These stupid people committed a misdemeanor and I wish that they all had been ticketed and/or arrested for it. Manatees are not an e-ticket ride at Disney World. The proper response would have been to keep one's distance until the authorities arrived.

(Guess my "Save the Manatees" license plate isn't doing much good with idiots like THESE in the water!)

In other news, Victim Services will be extending its program to cover abused manatees...

OK, to sum up yesterday's items:

(1) I would rather eat my chicken and rice freeze-dried than have it reconstituted with allegedly bacteria-free urine.
(2) I don't want my tax dollars to pay for army surgeons performing practice boob jobs.
(3) Manatees are not for riding. That is the key reason Jim Morrison changed the original lyrics of "The End".

Key Quote:

According to Florida wildlife officials, it is typical for three or four male manatees to trap a female and lead her toward shallow water where they mate.

That's the part that sounds illegal.

I vote that we change their name to "Womanatee" and see who gets outnumbered and herded to the shallows...

Good point, waxwing. The only thing I would add is that "Herded to the Shallows" would be an excellent name for an album.

> ...it is highly illegal to touch a manatee.

Let me get this straight. You can't give a manatee a back rub, but it's ok if you slice one up with your propeller.

mmmm, Hot, Sweaty Manatee love.

soon to be the next porn-sensation in Japan.

Seriously...they've even got a slideshow. Manatee porn...bet no one saw that coming a few years ago.

I've seen this same behavior in humans - three or four guys get a female away from her protective ring of girlfriends ("separating from the herd" was the official term) - plying her with a few drinks, and then....

Of course, this was college. AND I've seen it done by women too. Pity I wasn't the one guy...

You should have turned-on your Welsh accent, Higgy.

The slide show was nice until all those people showed up. I agree with Trystan (but just this once!). People are idiots.

Barbara Manatee, you are the one for me.
Sent from up above, you are the one I love.

God I feel sorry for the guys responsible for protect these. Where I come from protect our endangered species is a lot easier since "endangered" usually means "deadly"

Yes there are WAY to many selfish,stupid people.

"Many touched the manatees and a few attempted to ride them."

It's not bad enough they get gang-raped by four males, but then they have some giant drunk pork chop hopping on for a ride? Save the Manatee, indeed!

...it is highly illegal to touch a manatee.

As opposed to what other kind of illegal?

Stupid selfish people. I hope they all get stuck by a sea urchin.

The positive side of this story is that we now know there is at least one type of animal out there that doesn't require a how to video. Thank goodness!

Each person can face a fine of hundreds of thousands of dollars for simply putting two hands on a manatee?

I'm all for protecting endangered species, and perhaps some fine would be appropriate, but when you think of what humans get fined for doing much worse things to each other, this just seems way ridiculous!!!

What make something "highly illegal," as opposed to just "illegal?"


Mmmm.... manateelicious...

I'm suing! Ramparts ahoy 7-28-04.

An innocent day at the beach for families and friends, turns rapidly into an erotic, marine nightmare they will never forget.

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