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July 22, 2004

REMINDER TO US MILITARY SCIENTISTS

An army travels on its stomach. Don't do this.

(Thanks to everyone)

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Ew

KP ain't what it used to be.

Ah, yes, but wasn't there something interesting a few months ago about urinals that don't flush?? I think the argument there was that urine is actually sterile. Not that I'm saying they should drink it, or anything.

"How's that chicken and rice?"

"Piss poor."

Mmmmm.... a dehydrated Poo Poo Plater sauteed in pee pee. I'd hate to see what this company's idea of making a hollandaise sauce would be.

*The body will not find this toxic over the short term, says Ed Beaudry, an engineer with HTI, but rehydrating food this way in the long term would cause kidney damage.*

But, otherwise, hey, it's perfectly safe.

Besides, this isn't new, they've been serving stuff like this for years. My Dad is a Korean War vet and he said they served "sh*t on a shingle" when he was in the Navy.

"Hold on a second Jim, I just want to grab a quick snack."

[unzip]

I think I might want to add something about this making it possible for anyone to be a "cooking whiz." Yeah, I guess I do want to add that.

Urine the army now . . .

"Damn it Jim, I'm a surgeon, not a chef."

Then again maybe you would have Privates lining up all across the parade ground for a chance to prepare their favorite Sargeant's lunch.

0.5 nanomolar is small enough to catch most bacteria but not viruses. There are a lot of viruses in swamp water. That worries me more that the urine thing. Did these scientists think of the psychological barriers to using urine?

Imagine Steven Segall in that awful movie where he is "just a chef" Would put a whole new spin on the kitchen scenes.

I can see the names on the rations: S_aghetti, _ork & beans, sou_, and the old standby, _eanut butter & jelly.

Enemy( in evil foreign accent): I destroy everything!hahaha!I piss on ur food!!!...
eh? u do that anyway?....oh....

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I swear I'll never complain about mom's cooking again!

Gross gross grody grody gross.

Nice 2 c u, Bangi_G. R U sizzling 2day?

Self recycling at its finest.

"Lined Up Privates" WBABadNFARB.

Has anyone else noticed that whenever you got a type of meat or dish you cant describe, you always say "It tastes like chicken"...isnt it ironic you add a little pee-pee to chicken and it still tastes like chicken...

Note to any and all who might wind up in the military: Request the kosher meal. That is all.

As someone who has spent a good amount of time living on MRE's, this is not going to happen. If I have to dig a well I will, but I'm not pissing in my dinner. I doubt the Donner party would have done this.

witnesses reported over-hearing the following foxhole conversation -

pfc1: whachya eatin'?

pfc2: yeller squash.....whaCHOO eatin'?

pfc1: pee soup....whatchya havin' fer dessert?

pfc2: yeller cake.

pfc1: whatchya drinkin'?

pfc2: lemonade.

pfc1: me too.

Scientists are considering whether to add a stack of pennies to the dehydrated food bag, just to see if anyone takes them.

...because the scientists who dream up things like whiz-ready food must have A LOT of free time & grant dollars to burn.

The Donner party had snow to melt. Or they could have used blood. I hear there was plenty of that.

I suppose spit would work. How much spit would it take to reconstitute a chicken dinner?

If they had dehydrated beer, you could cry in it.

Urine may well be sterile. That does not mean it would be a tasty addition to most food.

Although I have had a few things so bad it wouldn't have hurt.

I remember some school lunches that tasted like they had that ingredient in them.

Pissed on once
Pissed on twice
Pissed on Chichen Soup with Rice!

Jack in the Box is suing the army for using its "secret sauce".

ewwwwww. and did i mention, ewwww!

Pee all you can pee. Join the Army now.

all da time blogchik...btw, it scares me how much i got right in my guessing game
im clara...claira...i got ESP

Urine. It's What's For Dinner.

I just remembered a not very good ripoff of AMERICAN GRAFFITI called HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS that did have a "let's spike the punch" scene that is relevant here. They get an obnoxious cop to try it, telling him they think it was spiked and he says "Hmm, does have a little wang in it."

Here.

Good one, Jeff.
And instead of Copland's Rodeo music, we can cue a toilet flushing ...

LOL guys. I swear, sometimes the comments are better then the article.

Jeff:

Don't forget Harland Williams' character in Dumb and Dumber. The PA State Trooper who drank the bottle of urine.

(BTW I met him when he was in Pittsburgh about a month ago. He's an insanely funny person. Check out his stand-up act if you get the chance.)

Unfortunately a serious note: Experienced desert people save urine when water gets short. Remaining water goes to camels or horses. Guess what the people drink.

Well, I'm not an experienced desert person but, it sems to me, if you have a camel or a horse with you you could probably reconstitute a lot of MRE's.

Speaking of beer, my roomate brought up something that makes sense the other day. I was drinking a Corona, and he pointed out that most workplaces in Mexico have no employee bathrooms. He suggested that maybe those who work for Corona relieve themselves in the vats.

That would explain the taste of Corona and why you need a slice of lime to help get it down.

"Unfortunately a serious note: Experienced desert people save urine when water gets short. Remaining water goes to camels or horses. Guess what the people drink."

On a non-serious note: do you think these experienced people see an unflushed toilet oases instead of palm trees & a pool when they're dehydrated?

Once again, the gap between sci-fi and the real world narrows. One of the most sprawling SF Sagas was the Chronicles of Dune. What's this got to do with peeing in a bag. Well the desert dwellers on Arrakis wore "still suits" that "reclaimed both urine and feces" using the pumping action of walking and breathing and the kind of layer filters these Army types are talking about. Wonder if they read Dune?

As if MRE's weren't bad enough....

Generally this is a fun and silly blog run by the erudite (and wierd), but I want to inject a bit of reality into this. Sorry. But didn't the same government that has funded research into using pee for rehydrating food for our troops just defeat a bill to provide more housing for for their families yesterday?

Golly, 'trickle down' gets a new meaning.

Is the blogger on this site named Dave a man or a woman?

Excuse: The government is not run by erudite and weird people. It is run by politicians who don't understand what they are doing, only how to get elected.

has anyone seen this?
www.zefrank.com/naughtybird/

My Dear Pogo,

I meant to call you and other bloggers to this site "erudite and weird" in the most complimentary of ways. If you assumed that I was implying that you or any who post on this bit of silliness was a "politician," forgive me.

On the other hand, imagine if during the debate this fall Bush and Kerry were asked to their support the troops by personally reconstituting and eating one of these meals on national television.

sotty, the word 'demonstrate' didn't make that last post

My Dear DJTONYB,

You may be right, but, gee, I wish I'd learned to type. "sotty?" Sorry.

But I'm still working on the idea of Bush and Kerry each holding potential food in one hand and the reconstituive liquid in the other and waiting to see which of them would eat it first.

never mind

NO GOOD HAS EVER COME OF EATING THAT ACCORDING TO ALL ACCOUNTS I KNOW OF.

"Indestructable Sandwich" would be a great name for a rock band.

Um . . . do you think "Cheese Whiz" . . . . . . . nah . . . . . (?)

Got Milk?

*show's off mustache*

Experienced desert ppl need to follow Darwin's theory and get out of said desert.

Wait 'till they start talking about eating your own poo in emergency survival situations.

Talk about a shit-eating grin...

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