REMINDER TO US MILITARY SCIENTISTS
An army travels on its stomach. Don't do this.
(Thanks to everyone)
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July 22, 2004
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Ew
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 22, 2004 at 09:20 AM
KP ain't what it used to be.
Posted by: Lairbo | July 22, 2004 at 09:22 AM
Ah, yes, but wasn't there something interesting a few months ago about urinals that don't flush?? I think the argument there was that urine is actually sterile. Not that I'm saying they should drink it, or anything.
Posted by: Amanda | July 22, 2004 at 09:22 AM
"How's that chicken and rice?"
"Piss poor."
Posted by: golfwidow | July 22, 2004 at 09:23 AM
Mmmmm.... a dehydrated Poo Poo Plater sauteed in pee pee. I'd hate to see what this company's idea of making a hollandaise sauce would be.
Posted by: Lou Bricant | July 22, 2004 at 09:24 AM
*The body will not find this toxic over the short term, says Ed Beaudry, an engineer with HTI, but rehydrating food this way in the long term would cause kidney damage.*
But, otherwise, hey, it's perfectly safe.
Besides, this isn't new, they've been serving stuff like this for years. My Dad is a Korean War vet and he said they served "sh*t on a shingle" when he was in the Navy.
Posted by: Lily | July 22, 2004 at 09:25 AM
"Hold on a second Jim, I just want to grab a quick snack."
[unzip]
Posted by: Tetsu | July 22, 2004 at 09:26 AM
I think I might want to add something about this making it possible for anyone to be a "cooking whiz." Yeah, I guess I do want to add that.
Posted by: golfwidow | July 22, 2004 at 09:27 AM
Urine the army now . . .
Posted by: Lairbo | July 22, 2004 at 09:27 AM
"Damn it Jim, I'm a surgeon, not a chef."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 22, 2004 at 09:29 AM
Then again maybe you would have Privates lining up all across the parade ground for a chance to prepare their favorite Sargeant's lunch.
Posted by: Lily | July 22, 2004 at 09:29 AM
0.5 nanomolar is small enough to catch most bacteria but not viruses. There are a lot of viruses in swamp water. That worries me more that the urine thing. Did these scientists think of the psychological barriers to using urine?
Imagine Steven Segall in that awful movie where he is "just a chef" Would put a whole new spin on the kitchen scenes.
Posted by: MadScientist | July 22, 2004 at 09:30 AM
I can see the names on the rations: S_aghetti, _ork & beans, sou_, and the old standby, _eanut butter & jelly.
Posted by: waxwing | July 22, 2004 at 09:37 AM
Enemy( in evil foreign accent): I destroy everything!hahaha!I piss on ur food!!!...
eh? u do that anyway?....oh....
Posted by: Bangi_G | July 22, 2004 at 09:40 AM
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I swear I'll never complain about mom's cooking again!
Posted by: Sarah | July 22, 2004 at 09:41 AM
Gross gross grody grody gross.
Nice 2 c u, Bangi_G. R U sizzling 2day?
Posted by: Blogchik | July 22, 2004 at 09:46 AM
Self recycling at its finest.
Posted by: MOTW | July 22, 2004 at 09:51 AM
"Lined Up Privates" WBABadNFARB.
Posted by: Moe | July 22, 2004 at 09:59 AM
Has anyone else noticed that whenever you got a type of meat or dish you cant describe, you always say "It tastes like chicken"...isnt it ironic you add a little pee-pee to chicken and it still tastes like chicken...
Posted by: Miss Beauty | July 22, 2004 at 10:00 AM
Note to any and all who might wind up in the military: Request the kosher meal. That is all.
Posted by: Lairbo | July 22, 2004 at 10:07 AM
As someone who has spent a good amount of time living on MRE's, this is not going to happen. If I have to dig a well I will, but I'm not pissing in my dinner. I doubt the Donner party would have done this.
Posted by: BMX3 | July 22, 2004 at 10:12 AM
witnesses reported over-hearing the following foxhole conversation -
pfc1: whachya eatin'?
pfc2: yeller squash.....whaCHOO eatin'?
pfc1: pee soup....whatchya havin' fer dessert?
pfc2: yeller cake.
pfc1: whatchya drinkin'?
pfc2: lemonade.
pfc1: me too.
Posted by: colonel sanders | July 22, 2004 at 10:17 AM
Scientists are considering whether to add a stack of pennies to the dehydrated food bag, just to see if anyone takes them.
...because the scientists who dream up things like whiz-ready food must have A LOT of free time & grant dollars to burn.
Posted by: lurker | July 22, 2004 at 10:23 AM
The Donner party had snow to melt. Or they could have used blood. I hear there was plenty of that.
I suppose spit would work. How much spit would it take to reconstitute a chicken dinner?
If they had dehydrated beer, you could cry in it.
Posted by: Lily | July 22, 2004 at 10:26 AM
Urine may well be sterile. That does not mean it would be a tasty addition to most food.
Although I have had a few things so bad it wouldn't have hurt.
Posted by: Susan | July 22, 2004 at 10:28 AM
I remember some school lunches that tasted like they had that ingredient in them.
Posted by: BigD | July 22, 2004 at 10:30 AM
Pissed on once
Pissed on twice
Pissed on Chichen Soup with Rice!
Posted by: jamester | July 22, 2004 at 10:35 AM
Jack in the Box is suing the army for using its "secret sauce".
Posted by: Lairbo | July 22, 2004 at 10:35 AM
ewwwwww. and did i mention, ewwww!
Posted by: queensbee | July 22, 2004 at 10:37 AM
Pee all you can pee. Join the Army now.
Posted by: Chauncy | July 22, 2004 at 10:41 AM
all da time blogchik...btw, it scares me how much i got right in my guessing game
im clara...claira...i got ESP
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles | July 22, 2004 at 10:49 AM
Urine. It's What's For Dinner.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 22, 2004 at 11:13 AM
I just remembered a not very good ripoff of AMERICAN GRAFFITI called HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS that did have a "let's spike the punch" scene that is relevant here. They get an obnoxious cop to try it, telling him they think it was spiked and he says "Hmm, does have a little wang in it."
Here.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 22, 2004 at 11:19 AM
Good one, Jeff.
And instead of Copland's Rodeo music, we can cue a toilet flushing ...
Posted by: MOTW | July 22, 2004 at 11:20 AM
LOL guys. I swear, sometimes the comments are better then the article.
Posted by: iolite | July 22, 2004 at 11:28 AM
Jeff:
Don't forget Harland Williams' character in Dumb and Dumber. The PA State Trooper who drank the bottle of urine.
(BTW I met him when he was in Pittsburgh about a month ago. He's an insanely funny person. Check out his stand-up act if you get the chance.)
Posted by: Drew | July 22, 2004 at 11:28 AM
Unfortunately a serious note: Experienced desert people save urine when water gets short. Remaining water goes to camels or horses. Guess what the people drink.
Posted by: pogo | July 22, 2004 at 11:45 AM
Well, I'm not an experienced desert person but, it sems to me, if you have a camel or a horse with you you could probably reconstitute a lot of MRE's.
Posted by: Lily | July 22, 2004 at 11:49 AM
Speaking of beer, my roomate brought up something that makes sense the other day. I was drinking a Corona, and he pointed out that most workplaces in Mexico have no employee bathrooms. He suggested that maybe those who work for Corona relieve themselves in the vats.
Posted by: Amanda | July 22, 2004 at 11:55 AM
That would explain the taste of Corona and why you need a slice of lime to help get it down.
Posted by: Jaxx | July 22, 2004 at 12:03 PM
"Unfortunately a serious note: Experienced desert people save urine when water gets short. Remaining water goes to camels or horses. Guess what the people drink."
On a non-serious note: do you think these experienced people see an unflushed toilet oases instead of palm trees & a pool when they're dehydrated?
Posted by: iolite | July 22, 2004 at 12:14 PM
Once again, the gap between sci-fi and the real world narrows. One of the most sprawling SF Sagas was the Chronicles of Dune. What's this got to do with peeing in a bag. Well the desert dwellers on Arrakis wore "still suits" that "reclaimed both urine and feces" using the pumping action of walking and breathing and the kind of layer filters these Army types are talking about. Wonder if they read Dune?
Posted by: stilgar | July 22, 2004 at 12:43 PM
As if MRE's weren't bad enough....
Posted by: JCT | July 22, 2004 at 12:45 PM
Generally this is a fun and silly blog run by the erudite (and wierd), but I want to inject a bit of reality into this. Sorry. But didn't the same government that has funded research into using pee for rehydrating food for our troops just defeat a bill to provide more housing for for their families yesterday?
Golly, 'trickle down' gets a new meaning.
Posted by: Excuse me? | July 22, 2004 at 01:03 PM
Is the blogger on this site named Dave a man or a woman?
Posted by: pat | July 22, 2004 at 01:08 PM
Excuse: The government is not run by erudite and weird people. It is run by politicians who don't understand what they are doing, only how to get elected.
Posted by: pogo | July 22, 2004 at 01:21 PM
has anyone seen this?
www.zefrank.com/naughtybird/
Posted by: ellinator | July 22, 2004 at 01:36 PM
My Dear Pogo,
I meant to call you and other bloggers to this site "erudite and weird" in the most complimentary of ways. If you assumed that I was implying that you or any who post on this bit of silliness was a "politician," forgive me.
On the other hand, imagine if during the debate this fall Bush and Kerry were asked to their support the troops by personally reconstituting and eating one of these meals on national television.
Posted by: Excuse Me | July 22, 2004 at 01:59 PM
sotty, the word 'demonstrate' didn't make that last post
Posted by: Excuse Me | July 22, 2004 at 02:01 PM
My Dear DJTONYB,
You may be right, but, gee, I wish I'd learned to type. "sotty?" Sorry.
But I'm still working on the idea of Bush and Kerry each holding potential food in one hand and the reconstituive liquid in the other and waiting to see which of them would eat it first.
never mind
Posted by: Excuse Me | July 22, 2004 at 02:36 PM
NO GOOD HAS EVER COME OF EATING THAT ACCORDING TO ALL ACCOUNTS I KNOW OF.
Posted by: bad idea | July 22, 2004 at 03:53 PM
"Indestructable Sandwich" would be a great name for a rock band.
Posted by: Karl | July 22, 2004 at 04:10 PM
Um . . . do you think "Cheese Whiz" . . . . . . . nah . . . . . (?)
Posted by: Lmd33 | July 22, 2004 at 04:44 PM
Got Milk?
*show's off mustache*
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 22, 2004 at 08:36 PM
Experienced desert ppl need to follow Darwin's theory and get out of said desert.
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles | July 22, 2004 at 10:16 PM
Wait 'till they start talking about eating your own poo in emergency survival situations.
Talk about a shit-eating grin...
Posted by: Alex | July 22, 2004 at 10:30 PM