PRETTY-MUCH-NAKED MEN

Really. Be sure to click on the "Preview," especially page 2b and 4. And thanks to Tetsu for the reminder.

(Bonus points to anyone who can explain why a man can't be "sexy" and also smile. Or at least not look like he's having intestinal difficulties.)

Comments

[Leetie]

"Mark C" exposing his nipples looks kinda creepy.

[Tetsu]

Oh god, what have I done?

[surfbunny]

hummina hummina hummina hummina

(sorry the drool caused my keyboard to malfunction)

[Leetie]

Hey! My first FIRST! and I didn't even say FIRST!

[Christobol]

Dave's away and judi is LAZY!

You can have your naked men, ok, but at least TRY to put them into the context of mission statement of this blog (which is bound to mention boogers).

I mean, shouldn't these pretty much naked men be humping a large submerged fungus or something.

Oh wait. Followed the other link.

My bad.

Nevermind.

[rita]

Leetie, isn't it sad that we both kept clicking till we got to Mark C.?

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

I still bet there are more pretty-much naked ladies than pretty-much naked men on the Internet

[juju]

Mahatma,

And luckily !! Would you want it the other way round?

[rita]

Nothing missed, elle. They aren't TOTALLY naked.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

You must admit, men do have good ideas . . .

[Justin]

Less beefcake, more booger jokes

[Blogchik]

My work server is also stopping all the fun.

Wah. :(

[Leetie]

Wow! Blogchik and elle are even on the same server!

[Mrs. Bruce]

MKJ: That's the funniest picture of a guy two seconds away from getting gored in the ass that I've seen all day.
Hee.

[Higgy]

MKJ - I read all of that - a guy from Georgia was gored in the SCROTUM and they described it as a "slight injury"!!!!!!!

I don't care if it was a tiny scratch - any horn goring my scrotum would count as a MAJOR injury...

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Invasion of the Superdudes
Pic 01Pic 02Pic 03Pic 04Pic 05Pic 06Pic 07Pic 08Pic 09Pic 10Pic 11Pic 12Pic 13Pic 14Pic 15Pic 16Pic 17Pic 18Pic 19Pic 20

[Bangi_G]

And i shall call thee Saint Judi
for thou art the bringer of joyful images...

Bangi
psalm 5.467

[Mrs. Bruce]

Oh, what's a little bullhorn in the nuts, really? Jeeze, men are such BABIES about the silliest things.

Oh, and The Scrotum Goring Horns wbagnfarb.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

So . . . who's your favorite Superdude?

[Bangi_G]

leetie any pics from the blunch?
any pic games?
anything?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thanks for the warning, Judi, because any guy who opens that at work would have to worry about people thinking he is gay (not that there's anything wrong with it).

But for a little equal time, may I recommend naked kissing babes, so WARNING! BE CAREFUL BEFORE YOU OPEN THIS AT WORK!

[Leetie]

LOL Bangi, nice psalm!
Please email me.

[pogo]

Mahatma - those pics can only have been taken in Metropolis IL, where even the local paper is the Planet.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

pogo - you're right about that

[Jennifer]

whooo jeff, there is beefcake, then there's porn

[Iddybud(Jude)]

Hi, Judi!

What is it with these guys?

Don't they have teeth-- or what?!

Maybe their pants are too tight.

I mean--do YOU smile when YOUR pants are heading north up the south crack?

Usually, I'm too busy doing the "yank-while-you think-no-one's-looking" move..and personally, I find it's so hard to smile at the same time.

*I would have liked to have seen Matt Malley as one of the "Sexiest Fellers".*

Iddybud (Jude)

[judi]

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooo mattie :)

[Some Guy in Oregon]

I didn't actually click on the link, but I have seen male model pics before, and yeah, they almost never seem to be smiling. The intestinal difficulties reference does seem appropriate.

I think there's some sort of image that has been created by the media - guys who smile are gay, and guys who look constipated are rugged. Do I get bonus points?

[Trystan Shout]

Thank goodness. No post as of yet from a certain regular here. (Name not provided to protect the guilty.) That means we are spared his usual thinly-veiled homophobia.

The world - as well as Dave's blog readers - consists of men and women of all races, creeds AND sexual orientations.

Ah, to see the gay, er, DAY when we can all be adult about things and not have to read the likes of this screen name ("Completely Not Gay, Yet Still Anonymous, Although I Thought You Should See This") even under the guise of humor. People secure in their sexuality don't worry about stupid things such as what other people might falsely imply, ESPECIALLY anonymously!

(signed) Trystan Shout

[Karen]

OK, seriously, I might be on my own on this, but I think those guys are gross!

[D'Artagnan]

Where are Internet ramparts when you need them?

Judi, when the cat's away, the mice will play, evidently.... not that there's anything wrong with that (tm).

Leetie, you go, girl! Welcome to the FIRST (First comment, Instead of Reading the poST) club.

[Brandon]

Karen, you are on your own on this. Judi is a friend to all gay-kind. And we extend a warm rainbow welcome to her. Keep em coming!

And Trystan, so true, so true.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Jennifer, sorry, didn't mean to offend, but I did WARN. WOn't do it again.

[Brad from that site]

Damn I look awesome!!!

[Pine-cone Head]

Thanks Jeff! Made my day!

[etc.]

Q: Why don't men smile?

A: Because smiling indicates an emotion, and real men are NOT emotional.

Or so I've heard.

[Doug Brockmeier]

No, Karen's not alone: I think they're gross too.

[Alex]

From an image standpoint (so the side of me that wants to run for president says), it's a catch-22:

1. If you like it and you're a guy, you appear gay.

2. If you don't like it and express your discontent, you're either (a) a party-pooper for the women or (b) homophobic.

So I'll just borrow a line from Sen. Kerry:

I have no opinion on the issue at this time.

[Doug Brockmeier]

And saying you have no opinion is basically construed to mean the worst of the available options. So I don't know which is worst: being gay, homophobic, or a party-pooper, but that's opinion-based too. So basically we're best off not wasting time talking about it, like I'm doing right now, and instead throwing lavish parties in expensive hotels with no dress codes.

[steven]

To hell with the image standpoint, there are some hot guys there..
Keep'em coming Judi!!

[Sean]

You might want to ad "WARNING: Do not open with your wife standing right behind you because explaining that you found the link on davebarry.com isn't going to make any difference."

[Trystan Shout]

Alex wrote:

"From an image standpoint (so the side of me that wants to run for president says), it's a catch-22:

1. If you like it and you're a guy, you appear gay."

Really? I thought it made you appear open-minded, a free thinker or - gulp! - liberal.

And what if it DID make you appear gay? Is that such an awful thing? Let's see. What might be worse? Appearing to be a Klansman? A mass murderer? No, gay. That's it. Can't appear to be gay. Nope. Not gay. Fate worse than death. Pass the swastika but keep the trouser snake.

Guess what? I like attractive women. Slept with a lot of them too. Was married. Have two children who I adore. Does that make me appear straight? (No, I'm not a "flaming fag," either. I'm butch-er and straighter looking than most of the straight guys herein who worry about appearing gay. Oh. Wait a minute. I think I'm on to something...) Sexuality is how we self-identify, NOT how we THINK someone else identifies US.

No, no, scratch all that. This really is silly and a waste of time. All I was trying to do is point out that anyone who is secure in his or her sexuality doesn't need to make snarky comments every time Judi posts some "him-bos" for the women and gay men who appreciate such things. It's the old "protesting too much" rule.

As for me, I read this blog to laugh and have fun. At the count of three, I'm going back to being non-serious.

One...

Two...

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

And if you buy this you can have this dreamy guy looking at you any time you want!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Ladies can also hire this british escort, who's not only a male, but also a guy!

[Doug Brockmeier]

"Fully experienced in all walks of life."

Now there we go!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Here's a beefcake shot of Mel Gibson, whom no one has ever called a sissy . . .

[pogo]

Smiling men: I have noticed that little girls are either born knowing how to do the "dazzling smile", with teeth bared, or learn it very young. Boys however tend not to smile like this.

[surfbunny]

looks like someone badly photoshopped that cover...that's a Frankenstein if ever I've seen one...his head doesn't even fit on his neck!

That one's good for a laugh, MKJ!

[Doug Brockmeier]

Dearest pogo, I invite you to visit my website, where you'll find that I smile as brilliantly as anybody else on this planet--Earth--except for Britney Palmer.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

This guy'll even paint your house . . .

[Big Mur]

Geez Louise...Judi's trying to get people fired...

[Mrs. Bruce]

Now now, Big Mur - there is a "WARNING: DO NOT OPEN AT WORK, OIYDWYMTTY(NY)G"
and the post is entitled "Pretty Much Naked Men"

That was kind of a big hint as to the content, i think...

[Big Mur]

Now now, Mrs. Bruce - Judi and I go way back...she knows what I meant...

That was kind of a big hint as to "fuggedaboutit"...

[judi]

To hell with the image standpoint, there are some hot guys there..
Keep'em coming Judi!!

wish they'd let me get that close!

[Big Mur]

Huh...so excited she had multiples...

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

It's just a bunch of guys who look like walking tablets of white chocolate

[Mrs. Bruce]

My bad Big M.

[Bangi_G]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate

sheesh mahatma...now i'll never finish my studies
all my concentration down...

*thoughts of chocolate syrup take over*

[liz]

MJK and Higgy-
I actually know that guy from Georgia... he had to get like 20 stitches down there. And even HE described the injury as slight... he said it didn't hurt that much, although he was quite intoxicated at the time.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

liz - bet he won't do THAT again . . .

[Doug Brockmeier]

Guh. Correction: That was BRITTANY Palmer, obviously. Shite! That's Greek for another word. In English.

[Lmd33]

I wouldn't mind if they were a little more naked. Really, I wouldn't.

Not bad, though . . .

[V-Square]

Mahatma - saw the "hard-working guy" eBay link, and recognized the buyer. I sold her a euphonium earlier this summer. interesting. . .