HEY, MONN
Don't bogart those nachos.
(Thanks to "sct72")
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Don't bogart those nachos.
(Thanks to "sct72")
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Man! What kind of vodka was that? I want some!
It's gotta be good stuff if you decide to become a human nacho & cheese snack!
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 19, 2004 at 07:15 AM
It's too early for this.
Posted by: MOTW | July 19, 2004 at 07:22 AM
Okay, he broke into the snack bar, covered in cheese, defecated in the trash can, and broke the water heater, but it was climbing a 8' tall chain link fence WHILE NUDE took some real guts. Or vodka. Those of you with the dangling apparatus will know what I mean. Even without barbed wire...(shudder)
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 19, 2004 at 07:25 AM
I'm with MOTW,
What kind of day will entail if we start with this?
Posted by: Brian B | July 19, 2004 at 07:25 AM
No no no, back to nude defecating nacho man, please......(I think that was a song by the Village People, right?)
Posted by: russell | July 19, 2004 at 07:30 AM
(*shutting eyes tightly and conjuring up images of Ali Landry [aka, The Doritos Lady]*)
Posted by: Lou Bricant | July 19, 2004 at 07:35 AM
(1) This is reason #12 why I almost never mix processed cheese food and potato-based alcohols.
(2) How will this guy possibly defend himself? "Uh, my client will stipulate to the streaking, breaking, entering, petty theft, public intoxication, vandalism, and littering. However, on the 8th count, trashcan defecation, my client was merely trying to offer the snack bar with an alternative fuel source. On that count, he strongly protests his innocence"
Posted by: Moe | July 19, 2004 at 07:37 AM
Well, if he was covered in chesse then he wasn't nude, was he?
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | July 19, 2004 at 07:42 AM
Good point, MKJ. So, for the streaking charge, he could use a Hillbilly Liquid Latex (TM) defense.
Posted by: Moe | July 19, 2004 at 07:49 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I think Frito Lay just found their new spokesman!
Posted by: jamester | July 19, 2004 at 07:50 AM
This is your brain on lizard dung. Any questions?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | July 19, 2004 at 07:51 AM
Nudes n' Nacho Cheese wbagnfarb
Posted by: pianer | July 19, 2004 at 07:51 AM
"In addition, the male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders," (police officer) Spicer reported.
The cheese did not cover vital organs, so, technically, Monn was nude.
Posted by: MOTW | July 19, 2004 at 07:59 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I think Frito Lay just found their new spokesman!
Posted by: jamester
He couldn't be any more irritating than the Wendy's guy.
Posted by: Ernie G | July 19, 2004 at 08:02 AM
I have not had nearly enough coffee yet. That is the only justification I have for calling this guy an utter dip. (runs like hell)
Posted by: golfwidow | July 19, 2004 at 08:09 AM
Thanks, I did miss it. Key Quote:
"Bala Abu, a 20-year-old unemployed high school graduate, says he smokes lizard turds to forget his woes."
Reminds me of that old song:
"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, that's why I eat worms.
Big ones small ones short ones tall ones
see how they wiggle and sqirm
Bite their heads off, suck their juice, throw the skins away
No-one can see how I can eat worms three times every day!"
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 19, 2004 at 08:22 AM
Where was Dave on his birthday and why is he lying about his age?
Posted by: Lairbo | July 19, 2004 at 08:23 AM
There was a young man from Ghana
who was trying to reach Nirvanna
he tried smoking pot
and the rest of that lot
but settled on blue lizard guano.
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 19, 2004 at 08:42 AM
Blue Meanie ......... really good one.
OBTW ...... what color is the sky in your world.
Posted by: Lurker2 | July 19, 2004 at 08:59 AM
To the rescue, amigos!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | July 19, 2004 at 09:02 AM
I don't think stem cell research is going to help this guy.
However, Bubba, his cell partner, MAY just like a little cheese snack later.....
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 19, 2004 at 09:08 AM
Ay, yi, yi, yi!
Cheese on my head and shoulders!
I climbed over barbed wire
With no clothes on me,
I smoke lizard dung for pleasure.
Posted by: Monn Dude | July 19, 2004 at 09:18 AM
He was "semi-incoherent" as opposed to "semi-coherent"?????
Now I'm confused or was it just incoherent to me?
Posted by: bm | July 19, 2004 at 09:20 AM
( thanks, MKJ! )
Posted by: MOTW | July 19, 2004 at 09:21 AM
Where does one come up with the name of Blount?
Posted by: Schadboy | July 19, 2004 at 09:22 AM
Maybe the strong smell of alcohol, mixed with sweat and nacho cheese, also affected the journalist's word choice, bm.
Posted by: MOTW | July 19, 2004 at 09:23 AM
nacho, nacho man, i wanna be a... bwahhhhaa.. dumba**. but at least he didnt shoots his cajones off whilst intoxicated. 'semi-incoherent??' yeah. whatever that means, he was that. great case of drunk and stupid.
Posted by: queensbee | July 19, 2004 at 09:32 AM
Sounds like this guy was doing a little cheese diving at the pool since it was only in his hair and on his face and shoulders. What did he do? Stick his head in and lick it out of the vat?
Posted by: Jessica | July 19, 2004 at 09:47 AM
Darwin at work once again..
If the liver damage doesn't kill him, the nachos will (eventually!)
Posted by: Higgy | July 19, 2004 at 10:05 AM
Yeah, you're a real winner if that's the best thing you can think of to do on your birthday.
Posted by: MeL | July 19, 2004 at 10:22 AM
First of all, at least he didn't cover the inside of his motel room in vaseline.
As far as lizard crap, quote: "When mixed with 'blue' in water, it produces a strong effect similar to the effect of drinking strong whisky to excess on a hot day,"
Then why not just drink whisky, from my experiences with it, you really don't need a "hot day" to become semi-incoherent.
Now all I can think about is Chong smoking "Labador", because his dog at his weed.
Posted by: BMX3 | July 19, 2004 at 10:24 AM
Lurker2: Multi (or at least it used to be....)
Posted by: Blue Meanie | July 19, 2004 at 10:50 AM
Son and Mom in the store. Son is fussy so mom says "Be quiet and you can pick something out. You can pick out the cheese." He calms down and picks out the biggest wheel of cheese he can find. They are walking home and he starts to roll his cheese because it was so big. It starts to roll downhill and he runs after it. The cheese goes faster and the boy runs faster.
Cut to: Little girl at the bottom of the hill stops the cheese and takes it into her house quickly. "Mommy, Mommy! I found some cheese!" "What kind of cheese is it?" "Mommy, I think it's nacho cheese!" "Why?" Wait for it............ "Because there was a boy running behind it yelling "It's nacho cheese! It's nacho cheese!"
Posted by: Drinkey Crow | July 19, 2004 at 11:06 AM
I just can't help imagining this guy being institutionalized next door to the guys who only speak Klingon.
Posted by: Alex | July 19, 2004 at 12:20 PM
$40 in chips and $7 in cheese does not seem like a good ratio for making nachos. I mean if you are going to do it, do it right, coherent or not.
Posted by: Smoodle | July 19, 2004 at 03:42 PM
Hell, he's probably in some kind of cult with the petroleum jelly guy.
Posted by: Chris Cypser | July 19, 2004 at 04:11 PM
Smoodle,
Maybe Wal-Mart was the cheese supplier.
Posted by: Alex | July 19, 2004 at 07:16 PM
Was someone chasing him down the street yelling: "Hey! Come back! That's nacho cheese!"
Posted by: bbescuela | July 20, 2004 at 05:30 AM