GARFIELD DID WHAT??
Here's why he is often referred to as "the Nelson Rockefeller of cartoon cats."
Key Quote: "It is Garfield's paw, people should not read anymore into it. Garfield is a cartoon cat that doesn't have fingers but paws."
Key Name That We Are Not Making Up: "Tiffany Glad"
(Thanks to Gary Calpo)

fIRST
Posted by: Mike | July 23, 2004 at 02:40 PM
THIRD
Posted by: mutanthamster | July 23, 2004 at 03:10 PM
"Hello, my name is Garfield."
Group "Hello Garfield!"
"Anyone have some catnip?"
Group *stunned*
"Rehab's for quiters!"
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 23, 2004 at 03:11 PM
She sounds like my over-protective sister-in-law, the mother of a 4-year-old. Like a deranged owl, she's constantly on the alert for anything remotely off-color. Sheesh.
Do I need any more hyphens?
Posted by: Spiny Norman | July 23, 2004 at 03:17 PM
"Like a deranged owl..."
That's by far the coolest simile I've heard all day.
Posted by: Mutanthamster | July 23, 2004 at 03:19 PM
Fortunatly you've come to the right place. We have LOTs of hyphens.
And I think you should have hyphenated the entire "..on-the-alert-for-anything-remotely-off-color. part. Adds something.
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 23, 2004 at 03:21 PM
Yeah, it adds hyphens.
Love your simile too.
My sister won't let her 11 and 13-yr-old boys watch the Harry Potter movies because there are witches in them, but they have, since they were little, been allowed to watch R and even some X rated shows.
Seems weird to me. I mean the chances of them getting flying brooms and starting a pick-up Quidditch Match are pretty slim. But, knowing those kids, they wouldn't think twice about re-enacting the "Texas Chainsaw Massacres". They've already got a chainsaw.
I'll meet 4 of your hyphens and raise you 6 commas.
Posted by: Lily | July 23, 2004 at 03:49 PM
Key line here: "Glad He Is Giving You The Middle Finger" (I did remove a colon)
Time for Tiffany to lighten up and maybe take a valium. Either that or maybe have hubby give her a little satisfaction. She's way too tense.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 23, 2004 at 04:03 PM
What X-rated shows can they watch?
Posted by: Dave Munger | July 23, 2004 at 04:34 PM
Somebody wants her 15 minutes of fame...
Posted by: JLee | July 23, 2004 at 04:51 PM
I showed the article to my sister-in-law, and her response was: "damn straight", and had no idea why I was laughing.
BTW, I wish I could claim credit for "deranged owl", because it's so appropriate, but that was blogger Charles Johnson.
Would Deranged Owls bagnfarb? Or is that just too silly?
Posted by: Spiny Norman | July 23, 2004 at 06:47 PM
I think the real key quote is: "Watch Local 6 News for more on this story."
I'm standing by for the "Snoopy takes a dump on Linus' blanket" expose.
Posted by: bbescuela | July 23, 2004 at 06:47 PM
..so... my question is, if this little girl is so protected and innocent how is it she was able to notice garfield was 'being bad'... Mrs Happy needs to stop promoting the index finger as being obscene in front of her 4 year old.
context, context, context.
*GRIN*
Posted by: Kellii | July 23, 2004 at 09:29 PM
Seventeenth
Posted by: Trystan Shout | July 23, 2004 at 09:52 PM
It's OK for Dick Cheney to flip someone off, but Garfield does it, and NOOOOO! Maybe Garfield should be referred to as the Dick Cheney of cartoon cats.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | July 23, 2004 at 10:19 PM
Ok, the story was entertaining but I liked the add that showed next to it on my system when I went there and I quote:
"Love doughnuts, but hate the annoying chewing? Prefer drinking your breakfast? If so Krispy Kreme has the answer for you."
Yah, I have become so lazy in my intake of Fat and sugar that I no longer want to chew it, in fact I don't think I should really have to swallow it either, can you just hook it directly into my stomach please?
Posted by: Earthworm | July 23, 2004 at 10:47 PM
"Glad he is giving you the middle finger" just about sums up my take on this, too.
Posted by: Alex | July 23, 2004 at 10:54 PM
it's a CARTOON, lady. build a bridge and get over it. doesnt know the difference btn garfield and fritz. duhhh.
Posted by: queensbee | July 24, 2004 at 03:12 AM
3 & 4 year olds will copy just about anything to get attention. Most likey, if Mom didn't make a fuss of this, Garfield would have gone fairly unnoticed and her kid wouldn't be running around the house "pointing" things out.
Kids immitate adults. What adults get riled up about, kids notice. Best to have played it down - MOM!
Posted by: kibby F5 | July 24, 2004 at 04:01 AM
queensbee: I wondered if someone besides me would remember Fritz. Now there was a BAD CAT!
Posted by: echo | July 24, 2004 at 07:05 AM
All he is saying is f&^! mondays. I mean golly i do that every Monday morning.
Posted by: Richard | July 24, 2004 at 07:41 AM
"Basically, we have a 3-year-old running around giving the middle finger," Glad said.
"Basically, we have an idiot MOM who doesn't know a damn thing about parenting," Dave (not Barry) said.
BTW, I worked on the Garfield movie for a couple of days. We shot a bunch of street scenes on the backlot at Universal Studios, where I was a guy walking down the street carrying a briefcase. I must say, Garfield was a perfect gentleman on the set. Quiet as can be and very polite to everyone. He treated the cast, crew and extras all alike and didn't have the slightest hint of the maniacal ego that you see in so many big, Hollywood stars. The whole fat, greedy, rude finger flippin' cat thing is just an act.
Now ODIE on the other hand..
Posted by: Dave (not Barry.. calm down) | July 24, 2004 at 08:04 AM
My nephew is a very imaginative, sourceful young man. He's now 20, but when he was in kindergarten, he got off the bus one day and cheerfully greeted his mom with "Hello, motherf^cker." An older kid on the bus told him it would be a nice thing to say to Mom.
Fortunately Mom didn't overreact, and the case was closed.
She still tries not to overreact. Xanax helps a lot.
Posted by: rita | July 24, 2004 at 10:56 AM
Rita, I laughed. Sorry.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 24, 2004 at 12:32 PM
Dear Sir,
My cats were mortified at that crude depiction of a pussy gone bad. Will you take responsibility for their truama treatment?
Les Lutt
Sidcup, Kent
Posted by: BarryFS | July 24, 2004 at 04:15 PM
Garfield is a cat who tells you how it is and usually in as few word as possible. Therefore the middle finger salute lets you know how he feels without him saying anything. So it's ok for Wylie Coyote to try and blow up road runner but Garfield can't throw his hands up in the air?
Posted by: MeL | July 25, 2004 at 01:56 AM
Wow... if every kid made the news for imitating something "inappropriate"...
When I was a kid, a good ol' "That is NOT acceptable behaviour" set me straight. Maybe the Glad bag should try it.
Posted by: Sharlit | July 25, 2004 at 08:58 AM
Joshkr,how did your dad discourage you from repeating that phrase?
Posted by: Blogchik | July 26, 2004 at 05:13 AM
Jeff, I still laugh when I think of it. He's still a very funny kid, even if he is 20 and has a genius IQ and won't get a real job and spends all his money on cigarettes and tattoes.
His poor mom was going to be informed this weekend that her perfect daughter got a tattoo last year when she went to college. They're in Florida, at the beach, so Mom's bound to see it.
I hope Joan took Xanax with her. Or vodka.
Posted by: rita | July 26, 2004 at 08:17 AM