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July 26, 2004

CAN'T MAKE IT TO NORWAY?

This might work out for you.

(Thanks to Chris Kern)

Comments

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First. Fo' shizzle.

I don't know that I would trust people that think the earth is hollow to run a nuclear powered vessel.

You can charter a Russian Nuclear Ice Breaker??

That is soooooooo frickin' cool.

"Don't miss this chance to personally visit that paradise within our earth via the North Polar Opening and meet the highly advanced, friendly people who live there."

Well, as long as they are friendly....

...a member of the admiral's crew had observed a monstrous greenish-hued animal moving through the underbrush of that land beyond the Pole.

No word as to how far it was batting the penguins, though.

All Hail Chief F*cknut, ruler of Middle Earth...no wait, that was fiction.

SO that's what the Secretary of the Interior controls. Go fig.

Maybe the center of the earth is Zardoz land? Might see Sean Connery running around in a loincloth?

What a lot of whooey. I won't mention what their illustration looked like other than to say it resembled an orifice, not a hole.

Nothing inspires the certainty of confidence and safety like the words "Russian", "Nuclear-powered" and "North Pole" used in the same sentence.

elle: natch.

Lairbo: yep.

(I B brief today.)

I'm curious...if the hole is IN the ocean, what prevents the ocean from draining into it?

And supposing that there is a hole, and the ocean isn't draining into it, how, pray tell, do you GET to it?

And supposing that there is a hole, and the ocean isn't draining into it, and you can get to it, what is the mode of transportation through it? Do you fall? What happens when you get to this alleged "hollow Earth" part?

None of this is very well explained.

-Schadeboy

It all sounds very Edgar Rice Boroughs-ish. I'm surprised they weren't promising us native princesses to marry while they were at it. :)

"There's a hole at the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole at the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole,
There's a hole,
There's a hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea,
There's a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea,
There's a hole,
There's a hole,
There's a hole at the bottom of the sea.
There's a bump on a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea..(repeat as preceding)
There's a frog on a bump on a log in the hole at the bottom of the sea (and repeat)

There is more to the song but that's all I remember. :)

And obviously, Hollow Earth wbagnfarb featuring their debute CD "THE CENTER OF THE GREAT UNKNOWN."

Um, don't we have satellites that could see minor things like a HOLE IN THE FREAKIN' PLANET? Or do these guys think that it's just another cover-up job by The Man?

Schadeboy: Sadly enough, I actually know the answers for those questions. At least, I know what the Space Raving Loonies running this 'trip' would say.

They believe that, under the Hollow Wackjob Earth theory, the Earth does not posess an actual center of gravity, but rather the pull of gravity is directly from the surface of the earth. Therefore, if you're on the outside, you get pulled towards the ground, and if you're on the inside, you're STILL pulled towards the ground - just this time, you're on the 'other side' of it.

They then believe that gravity would 'curve' around the 'hole in the ocean', so that even as you sail into and down through the hole, even as you're angling 90 degrees downward, it still would seem that you're perfectly upright and firmly standing on deck.


On the next episode of "Pseudoscience with Tetsu!", we'll explain how telekinesis is used to get the caramel into the Caramilk bar.

I don't know about the Hollow Earth Theory but I have a Hollw Head theory that may apply here.

That's very Edgar Rice Burroughs, like I was saying! Hollow Earth theory= way for him to make money.

I'm holding out for next year's "Cruise to Magic Fairyland." I hope when they return from the Hollow Earth they have the good sense to bring some chocolate from the chocolate fountains.

If it's going to lead to Pat Boone & Arlene Dahl I think I'll pass. Norway or Bust!

I woke up this morning not knowing there was such a thing as a Hollow Earth Theory, and now find that not only are there several of them and at least one involves Nazis.

That does it, I'm moving to Norway and spending the rest of my life naked in a hotel room. Or maybe dressed as a stewardess for a nuclear-powered Russian ice-breaking cruise ship.

Hey Lairbo, every good crackpot theory involves a Nazi or two! :)

OK, so wouldn't it be kind of dark in there? Or do they postulate a tiny sun right at the center which is equally pulled in all directions by the earth's surface? (In which case, one good whack and that sucker comes crashing "down.")

blogchik
Yeah, I guess even this blog isn't exempt from Godwin's Law.

From etc.'s link, I have to point out that Rogue Monster Waves wbagnfarb.

Mike Weasel: ...In fact, they DO postulate that there's a tiny sun down there.

blogchik

The final verse (from which all others can be derived) is:

There's a flea on the fly on the wart on the frog on the knot on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
[repeat]
There's a flea, There's a flea.
[repeat first line]

My father used to drive me crazy with that song. I am carrying on that proud tradition by driving my daughter crazy.

Of course they do! Silly me! They also postulate that centrifugal force is why the earth is hollow, as if somehow the earth was whirling around 50 times a second, and not just once per day. I think in this instance, gravity is just a tad stronger, and therefore it would crumple under it's own mass.

I can unequivocally state that these people are a bunch of pseudo-scientific crackpots.

Jan van Der Spoof
Public Affairs Liason
Flat Earth Society

Jeff:
I always thought Arlene Dahl looked pretty snazzy for a lady who'd spent months underground with James Mason, Pat Boone and Gertrude (if you've seen it, you'll get it).
But I'm not going on this expedition if I don't at least have that great moment when the sunbeam shines through the hole in the rock and (cue impressive organ music)illuminates the secret entry to the hollow earth! Not to mention the giant lizards with crests tied on them or the giant mushrooms. Now THAT's an expedition.

These people need a lesson in the workings of gravity, namely that it does not work the same way as a magnetic floor. It has to have a POINT SOURCE! *insert scientific hissy fit* And just when I had calmed myself down, I read this:

"According to the legends, other civilizations live within the Earth on it's inner surface, warmed and lit by an interior sun."

Methinks these people have seen Spider-Man 2 a few too many times. arrrrrrrgh. . .

I saw a copy of Edward Bullwer Litton's "The Coming Race" at a used book store for about a dollar, didn't buy it, found out it's a valuable collectors item. It was sold when I came back. They say it's where Hitler got his hollow world ideas. Very badly written, there's a bad writting contest named after the author. I never liked the phrase "The Hollow Earth" in reference to the interior land of Hyperborea or Pelucidar or whatever. If Earth is hollow, isn't the hollow Earth where we are now?

Did Dave link to some phony medical device awhile ago that used Vril energy or something? That name comes from "The Coming Race". I read a whole book about hollow Earth theory awhile ago. Half of the believers just say there are giant caverns and tunnels full of weird creatures. They come off as sober and credible compared to the "holes in the poles" proponents. One notion that stuck with me is that the Northern and the Southern lights are caused by the light of the interior sun shining through the holes and reflecting off of the atmosphere. I'm pretty sure that any centripital effect strong enough to counteract gravity would make the whole planet fly apart.

Aw, c'mon, you guys. I mean, it's ONLY $20,000! What's a year's mortgage payments (or so) among friends?

"From the geographic North Pole, we will direct our course south through the ice."

As if there's any other option. Duh.

Ah, the power of the Internet illustrated once again! You can take any BS idea, dress it up with graphics, and it almost (unless you know any science or have any facility with critical thinking) seems to makes sense.

If the Perfect Storm comes along and takes out the whole expedition, do we bestow a mass Darwin Award?

But if this is supposed to be in place of Norway, where's the porn?

But if this is supposed to be in place of Norway, where's the porn?

The Earth has to be hollow in order to spin.

If it were a solid sphere, the G-forces generated by its rotation (25,000 mph) would tear it into a thousand fragments.

The way out is in, folks.

God bless.

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