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July 22, 2004

ADDENDUM TO MILITARY SCIENTISTS' REMINDER

And this doesn't make up for it.

(Thanks to Lord G.)

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FIRST

This ought to frighten the enemy!
...scares me...

Wonder if they will use this in their advertising?

Uncle Sam wants you to have larger breasts.

That's incentive enough to join the military. Have you seen my schnozz? I don't know if I want to be their "practice" though. Are these licensed doctors or are they recruits who don't know what else to do so they think "hmm... I could be a doctor, give me a scalpel."

Looks like they should change their slogan to "An Army of Two"

I could kinda see the need for reconstructive surgery after a wound. I have no idea if that's the motive.

JumpinJalawalla, Iraq-

Military souses today report that Five star general George "Titmouse" Hannigan has opted for the Army's new policy allowing military personel and familys free plastic surgery.

General Hannigan is believed to be the first to get breast implants under the new plan.

"They certainly make my medals more prominent." replied the General at a press briefing today, in response to media queries.

"I am also applying for my sex change operation as soon as my requisition for femaile uniforms goes through the quartermaster corp red tape. I am thrilled that the new plan has paid for all of it." said the General.

"The only problem i foresee is that I may not beable to get my upper torso down into the hatch of a M1-A1 Abrams tank and I tend to not be able to see the battle screen due to my new 45 caliber projectiles. they do seem to help the men when I bivouac on those long lonely nights in the desert."

Since the introduction of "don't ask, don't tell" the media has been reluctant to ask the general about the pink feather boa and G-string he wore to the press conference, although everyone there was just dying to know who his hairdresser was.

[sings] Be more than a B-cup . . .

...and what's wrong with a B-cup? :-/

BAD IDEA.

THAT IS ALL!

Think of it this way, a solid pair of silicone shields'll deflect a heart-bound bullet anyday, I would assume!

I bet Dave mistook my name for Mick Jagger.

New anti-terrorist weapon: bionic boobs!!

JCT
Ain't nuthin wrong with B-cups. Why, some of my best friends are B-cups. I just needed something that kinda rhymed.

More ramparts! That's what this country needs! More ramparts!

I find the use of the work "perk" rather unfortunate--or perhaps intriguing.

So THATS'S what "SDI" stands for--Silicone Defense Implants!

I will not rest until all these Hooters of Mass Destruction are uncovered.

We've come so far since the days of our forefathers, who were allowed only free tummy tucks and wrinkle smoothening.

"available to anyone in a uniform"

I am sorry, but I'm just not a fan of the idea man-breasts.

So... all those ads I get in email to enlarge my "manhood" are actually US Army recruiting ads? It all makes sense now.

The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

PRACTICE ON!?!

It's not enough that soldiers are the crash test dummies for military armaments contractors, but now they are surgical guinea pigs as well? I suppose if a breast implant deflates during combat operations, someone has to be able to do emergency repairs.

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