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June 22, 2004

ZOO PORN

This story reminds us of a great old joke about a gorilla and a guy with a pepperoni, but we have WAY too much class to tell it here.

But seriously: Would you have sex with anybody named "Praline?"

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

Comments

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No, I wouldn't. Sorry. We readers have morals, thank you.

They should be teaching the gorilla to play 'Spank the Monkey'.

Depends. What's her last name?

Tetsu - hey hey, nowhere in the article does it sanction primate S&M. Especially since it's really really hard to find leather peek-a-boo undies in that size.

where better to learn about birds and bees and such than the zoo?

Nilla Gorilla might.

I'll bet a trip to see the largest cheeto would give the poor guy a lift, or at least a turn on some unique park/playground equipment.... (walks away singing "Ah, Praline, gorilla my dreams")

"Gorilla, You're a Desperado" by W. Zevon
(to the tune of "Gorilla, You're a Desperado"

Big gorilla at the LA Zoo
snatched the glasses right off my face
took the keys to my BMW
left me here to take his place

I wish the ape a lot of success
I'm sorry my apartment's a mess
Most of all I'm sorry if I made you blue
I'm bettin' the gorilla will too

They say Jesus will find you wherever you go
but when he'll come looking for you, they don't know
In the meantime, keep your profile low
Gorilla, you're a desperado...

He built a house on an acre of land
He called it "Villa Gorilla"
plays racketball and runs in the rain
But still he's shackeled to a platinum chain...

etc.

I sure miss Zevon. Still keeping him in my heart.

back in the day, Marlon Perkins not only had his hair set afire on many occasions but He also had some great video of spitting monkeys. Wait, spitting monkeys, that was not...!!

...AGNFARB?

Dave - do you have too much class to tell that story here (in the comments section)?

What, Mike.....Praline Porn?

Who needs gorilla sex when I have this monkey to spank?

Gorilla my dreams.....

Ya gotta wonder whether the keepers maybe sneak the video home on weekends to liven things up a bit.

Anybody else remember the sex-in-a-gorilla-suit scene from Where's Poppa?

I was thinking Spitting Monkeys, but Praline Porn is also good.

I'm getting worried about the whole basic sex thing in this modern day&age.

First pandas need a video, THEN a couple of humans, NOW gorillas?!

How'n the He(l)ls did we get from instinct to animal training videos?!!!!

By the way, my own "lonesome" wild female bunny that lives in my front yard, now has one maybe two half-grown baby bunnies. Perhaps, certainly wild woman Punky is onto something ;-)

oooo...oooo...eeeee...eeeee...OOOOO...OOOOO...EEEEE...EEEEE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

What the hell does "permanent loan" mean?

I have a neighbor who borrowed my weedwhacker two years ago. THAT seems to be a permanent loan.

Here's what eadn was referring to:
Panda Porn.

"But seriously: Would you have sex with anybody named "Praline?"

How about Cashew? Macadamia?

Goober?

Evidently, Ted Habte-Gabr still has not purchased another vowel.

that's the problem with living exclsively with other males. eveyobdy leaves their banana peels in the sink,
and you start thinking that's all there is to life.

While on the primate thing, I've discovered that if you have a CD player that will repeat a single track forever,
you can can do Peter Gabriel's 'Shock the Monkey' in
an infinte loop, and not tell where it leaves off and begins again. I did this by mistake once, for several hours. Maybe it was days.

Evidently, also, D'Artagnan still has not returned my time machine. I'll give you until the end of the week.

I notice that the clock has been fixed. Poor guy.

Give me a little more info here. Does she like the Beatles? What about skinny, nearsighted guys? Does she have fleas and/or an address?

Maybe the poor fellow needs to recover something that was lost at an early age?

Gorilla Foreskin WBAGNFARB.

I want to hear the joke.

oooo...ooo...eeeee...eeeee...OOOOOO...OOOOOO...EEEEEEE...EEEEEEE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


was it good for you?

Yea! The joke!

Just to prove we have no class.

"Anybody else remember the sex-in-a-gorilla-suit scene from Where's Poppa?"

Hell yes, Lairbo, a classic.

"He sent me flowers."

Mahatma: to me the whole idea of that is sick, but Foreskin Restoration wbagnfarb.

I read all the posts and cant believe no-one said:

Zoo Porn wbangnfarb

I'd like to see the gorillas interviewed by Brian Fellows on a special egment where they bring in Jerry Springer.

I'd like to see the gorillas interviewed by Brian Fellows on a special egment where they bring in Jerry Springer.

I'd like to see the gorillas interviewed by Brian Fellows on a special segment where they bring in Jerry Springer.

clay - okay, okay! We'll call Brian Fellows (sheesh!)

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