WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

You need to take a cruise.

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

Comments

[Kat]

or I don't need to know.. sometimes you have just enough information

[slyeyes]

EUWW!! EUWWWWWW!!

ICKY! ICKY! UGHHH!!!

I'm going through my mail and ran across a "smash note".

There's a guy who works at a local store and delivers packages. Lately, I've noticed he's been getting more and more talkative, telling me about how he retired early and does this for the fun of it, etc. I've been pretty busy lately and haven't needed anything delivered....and I got a letter in the mail from him today saying he's missed seeing me.

Rats.

Now I've gotta move.

*re-reads Higgy's and Kat's posts on packing then heads to basement to start throwing crap out.*

[Kat]

oh and Peri.. thanks for the dietary restriction on Pookie.. it's much appreciated. Believe me I am not a salesperson, but there's something about getting into people's psyches (in a non-invasive way, of course) that's quite satisfying

[Kat]

lol sly.... ya never know.. if he retired early he could be spectacularly rich and genuinely doing this for fun.. and it's supposedly as easy to love a rich guy as it is to love a poor guy

[slyeyes]

who's Scott Adams?

(hopes I'm not showing ignorance or naivete)

[Kat]

ewwwww Peri..
and Sly.. ignore me.. I just realised how shallow I sounded...

[slyeyes]

money has nothing to do with it, Kat.

There's a whole "not gonna happen in this lifetime" factor.

I'm guessing I can get rid of the 5 pairs of kids' iceskates, and all those games missing important pieces.

[Kat]

aaaaaaaahhh *lightbulb clicks on(manually)* I knew I recognised the name from somewhere

[slyeyes]

Peri....apparantly that look hasn't scared him off yet....

[Kat]

Sly - as soon as you do there will be a child who says "Mom, have you seen.....?" "I can't believe you threw that out!! You knew I wanted that!!"

[slyeyes]

and now I feel dumb for not knowing Scott Adams. Duh!

[slyeyes]

Does it help that I met Jim Davis....and Garry Trudeau?

[Kat]

ok.... totally off-topic, but why is it that only skinny b*tches advertise exercise equipment? even the before photos look pretty good.

[Kat]

anyone met Gary Larson? He'd do quite well in here I think.. he's twisted enough

[slyeyes]

I think Gary Larson is already here and using the pseudonymn "Christobol".

[Jeff Meyerson]

Brian B: Christobol has a picture on the main blog of him & his kids at Dave's signing. He brought them Twinkies. No new installments lately.

What's with all the spider talk lately? Spiders don't bother me, but I wouldn't want one in my water glass either.

See you all tomorrow. We're supposed to get the "remnants" of Jeanne, but if we're lucky it will steer out to see and we'll only get some lighter rain.

[Kat]

I think you might be right sly...
sorry for the sideways jump in subject - that's just the way my mind works

[slyeyes]

by the way, Kat...what time is it there?

[Kat]

godd luck and stay dry Jeff!!

[Kat]

godd luck and stay dry Jeff!!

[Kat]

almost 1pm Tuesday, and I have to leave for a training session at work. (oh joy!!) See y'all in the middle-of-the-night hours .. have fun!!!

[slyeyes]

I thought Bangladesh was ahead of us...well, time wise that is.

so...if you keep moving west...would you stay the same age?

[slyeyes]

I was going to ask that...but it just sounded silly.

:-)

[Susan]

*wanders through the quiet*

Hot chocolate...I know there's some around here. I have no idea why I am so very tired, but I am. Work is done, one last (I hope) tornado watch, so I am going home.

The annoying part is that no matter how tired I am now, I know that by the time I am home and cozy in bed, I will be wide awake and ready to stay up. I hate when that happens.

Good night to all, and Jeff, stay dry. We're expecting rain from Jeanne here tomorrow as well. I think we've had quite enough. (Making up for the drought a year or two ago I guess.)

[MeL]

I'm either going to have to quit school or work to keep up with y'all.

Hey Bangi! I haven't talked to you in forever! How's it goin??

[Kat]

*wanders out onto deck and looks for fellow travellers...
Boy, it sure is quiet in here so far.. Happy Tuesday everyone!!

[Kat]

ho hum, pigs bum... anyone for coffee

[Kat]

the pig's bum is an optional extra.. you can have just the coffee if you want

[Kat]

gonna go trawl eBay and assorted newspapers..see if I can find something fun

[Kat]

it's 11:30 and I have lots on tomorrow.. besides posting to thin air is not as much fun as you might think it is

[slyeyes]

Morning, Moatie!!

Wakey, wakey, time for eggs and bakey.

I have a request. This concerns a suggestion Josh had made to me for Dave's book signing here in St. Louis. His suggestion was asking everyone to have pictures taken of yourselves holding "Dave for President" signs and either e-mailing them to me or posting them to the YGroup. Then I'll print them off, compile them in some fashion and give them to him at his St. Louis book signing on Oct. 25.

That was the last book signing on his schedule, but I've noticed they've added Miami in November..possibly to give DJTony another chance?

Anyway, will that work??

Everyone have a good Tuesday!!

[Christobol]

Aha! Found you rascals, or are you rapscalions?

Anywho - put a moderately better pic of the Chicago gig up on the Y.

Hope all are well - off to ketchup.

By the way - had to stab Stubing to get aboard, who blacklisted me?

[slowlayne]

Fun hurricane fact of the day:

No matter how many sandbags you pile up in front of the door, when the river outside gets higher than the edge of the bathtub inside, it is going to come in to your house in a most unpleasant way.

Now we know what the bleach is for.

[Leetie]

Slowlayne! Do you mean that icky stuff came up the drain, or that your door was pushed open by flood waters? Hope you, VBBF and the doggies get dried up soon (but not your sense of humor!).

Dave needs a better pirate hat. He's starting to look like a pilgrim or something.

[Leetie]

Higgy, JU and I have lived here for 10 years, and we still have stuff in boxes... in the basement, in the office, in the garage, and there are probably even a few stashed in the trunk of his Camaro sitting in the garage. I'm sure there are a few more clever hiding places that we've both forgotten.

[Christobol]

Slowlayne, my sister learned that lesson without a hurricane.

If you ever have to have your yard dug up and your connection to the city sewer worked on, it's a good idea to install a flapper valve that will allow flow FROM your house but block flow TO your house. Simple, and almost never there.

[Mr.Fisher]

Just a quickie.
I only skimmed through postings for now, I'll go mustard in a few, but for now to through out on some of the topics I did read.

Spiders- I guess fascination would be good word. I have a tattoo of one on the lower part of my neck (Pssst, Mad, a little help here with the scientific name please) just below the collar. I used to have these very strange, reoccurring dreams of being trapped in a huge spider web and being stuck lying there just waiting in the dark. It was always dark and I felt the way an insect must in the moments before being eaten for dinner (and not in a good way). I could hear the spider in the near distance and I felt every move that damn spider made as it rippled down through the silky strands of web and shivered my timbers until I awoke screaming(and with eight fekin legs that's a lot of movement) I had this dream from a young age and it continued off and on for about 15 years. I read numerous dream books about the meanings of dreams and most of them agreed that it was the fear of an overbearing mother. I don't mean to say anything negative about my mother but Overbearing was an understatement.

Joshkr- I too dealt with a d@#^munch for a step-father. Only I had my VGF (Very Gay Father) to come to my resue (my grandfather dishoned my father upon his coming out of the closet)and coming to gun fight with a six inch pink stilletto was just out of the question and my father knew it. So shortly after my 15th birthday and Happy closed fisted punch in the mouth, I decided to fight back. (Mind you I weighed 115 lbs dripping wet, my step-father was 6ft 4in and a full 260lbs of pure stooopid)
So I got a good punch in on his nose before I scrambled for my life. I left on a motorcyle never to return. I luckily finished school by living with friends and kind of staying with my father who lived an hour away. So I agree with everyone, when I say way to go brother, ya dun reel good.

WTF was that all about. I soo did not mean to bring down the Moat.

On a lighter note

Slyeyes, why are you throwing out all my stuff in the basement??? ;)

Holy Crap - I didn't mean to type all that and now I seriuosly gotta go do so some work.

ChingCaioChang -(It's vietnamese for NOT a Quickie afterall-Sorry)

[Leetie]

Great big gobs of hugs for Mr.Fisher and everyone else ever caught in an abusive situation.

A large spider visited me while I was in the shower last night. eew.

[slowlayne]

Leetie - this was the icky version of the deluge. We held the water off till the tub started to bubble and rise (the toilet followed soon after) then we grabbed what we could and headed upstairs. Fortunately it was just the garage, disco and spare bedroom so there wasn't much to ruin. We parked the cars on higher ground before the storm got there. The pups slept through it and VBBF popped a Valium so he's fine.

Huggab-elle - Thanks for the towel and hug.

C-bol - good advice. I think I'll call the plumber to get things flappered before the next one comes along. At this rate that should be in about 12 hours.

DJT - We've really been lucky here too. The winds never got to hurricane strength. It was just a freaky high tide (full moon, three days of nor'easter before the storm and rain) that gave us fits. Glad you're safe.

[Leetie]

There once were two gay guys from Florida
Whose floors from 'caine Jeanne became horrid(a)
The disco got crappy
While BF got nappy
The flapper is next to install(ida)

*ducks under table*

Sorry... nothing compares to slowlayne's limerics, but I thought it was worth a go. And NOTHING rhymes with Florida.

[Higgy]

Our two fellow MOATies down south
Sick of hurricanes, were down in the mouth
As they bail out the water,
They think that they oughta
Sell, pack up and get outh...

Pathetic, I know....

[Jeff Meyerson]

That's what I get for not proofreading as usual. Steer out to "sea" not "see" which makes no sense.

"A large spider visited me while I was in the shower last night. eew."

Leetie, are you sure that wasn't JU funnin' with you?

Mr. F: hey, you didn't bring us down, we admire your guts in taking a shot at the dickhead (and your smarts in getting the hell out of there).

I can't understand why people have kids (usually more than one) and then abuse them. As for step-parents, I realize there are many many good ones for all the horrid stories we get about the horrid bad ones, but WTF? You marry a woman knowing she has kids living with her. Sometimes the kids are awful and trying to destroy the marriage, granted. But guys who work out their aggressions on (relatively) helpless kids deserve a special place in Hell with pedophile priests and others in positions of authority (teachers, etc.) who use their position of authority in that way. I want to bash the crap out of them.

Sorry for the rant, but I hate hearing stories of kids who suffer that way. Time to cut back on the caffeine.

Hey, compared to Florida and the Carolinas we have it easy, weatherwise. A week of beautiful sunshine followed by a day of heavy rain is no biggie. Unfortunately parts of NJ and upstate NY have had flooding, but we're cool.

[Mr.Fisher]

Here's my sad attempt....

For all the folks in the Sunshine State
Hurricanes, boy do they surely Hate
And just for you guys
I got a surprise
I'm shipping out our extra Sunshine in a Crate

[Higgy]

*golf clap for Mr Fisher*

Bravo, bravo....

[slowlayne]

LOL - thanks for all the limmericks. Now if any of you want to help mop...

[slyeyes]

Here in St. Louis, we have had unusually wonderful weather this summer. Very few days over 90 degrees and none over 100. It's been almost resort weather. The weather person last night said that the reason it's been so great here is that whatever it is that is forcing the hurricanes into Florida is keeping the heat and humidity away from us.

Florida, thank you.

*realizes that this might not be the right time to bring all of that up.*

Does it help you at all to know that they are starting to use the "drought" word here??????

Didn't think so.

[slyeyes]

Hey, I was just looking at pictures on the Y Group, and it just occurred to me who slowlayne looks like......Steve McQueen during the time he made "The Great Escape."

[slyeyes]

Floridians D'art, DJT and Slowlayne
have been spent too much time girding 'gainst hurricanes
FLorida life this summer
has been a real bummer
they are in need of some serious Maryjane.

[slyeyes]

Blow, hurricane, blow
my mobile home is now gone
hurricanes sure suck.

That is a haiku.

[Mr.Fisher]

Hey Thanks Leetie, Jeff, n Bangi, an anyonelse I left out.

I now am a step-father. And I'll be damned if I ever treat him the way I was. Granted he's only 9 now and soon will be 15 (the age of all knowing) but I couldn't ever resort to beating the living shit out of him. I just think there's a better way to communicate than through fists. But maybe that's just me.

Oh, and Bangi .....member this killer DefLeppard tune

"Pour Some Sugar-free gelatin On Me"

Or wait. Was that a Moaties version? Either way it would be a song to play in back of the Plimo where everybody gets there fill in the blank on.

[Deon]

She's excited because of that long shower.

[Higgy]

Tina - sounds like the old George Carlin bit about being lost....

*digs out his George Carlin LP, puts it on the record player, digs out ticket for the geezer bus*

[Mike Weasel]

Earthquake? Musta been up north... or I slept through it.

[Higgy]

Actually, elle - I just had chili and Yeungling last night...

Sorry 'bout that...

[jamester]

That was no earthquake, that was the Giant's pennant hopes, falling hard.

Go Dodgers!

[kingw]

Bangi
I actually got to meet a couple of the guys from Def Leppard. I was having a beer with my Dad, and they were having a beer before playing some golf. They did look a little out of place in upstate NY. They were very friendly. That's it my claim to fame, that and my picture with Dave Barry on the blog. Dave is cooler.

[Mike Weasel]

That was kingw, not me, but you can still think I rock if you like :)

[Kat]

Tina.. I think I saw him giving lap dances in the geriatric ward.. if it is him, he's made a fair few dollars

[Kat]

whew... all that catchup!!

For bloglits in Florida State
the weather has not been so great
The bathrooms have flooded
the floors are all mudded
There's cleanup to contemplate

a lame limerick, but mine own

[Federal Duck]

Wow, I'm 3 days late. I've got lots of moatarita drinking and monkey wrangling to catch up on.

[Mike Weasel]

Oooh I'm being worshipped? It must be because of my Dave-granted status of "blog god." Blessings be upon you, my child!

[Kat]

Tina.. I'm laughing!!!

BTW Rita.. I did take back what I said about loving a rich man.. I was teasing and then I realisedd how shallow it sounded.. If it was that easy I'd be married by now, but I'm waiting for "wuv.. true wuv" (and yes.. I have been watching Princess Bride.. again!)

[Susan]

I am getting the feeling that I really really need to see the Princess Bride. It seems to be the rare day that I don't hear mention of it somewhere, not just here.

Slowlayne-would a dehumidifier help in the clean up efforts? We didn't get too much rain here, just a chimneys worth of brick on the ground. (I still can't get over the thing falling. I'm just so glad no one was hurt.)

And I wish that stump grinding outside would stop; it is not helping my headache. (which thank goodness is not a migraine, just an annoying sinus headache) I'm sure the building is not actually vibrating with the grinding...

[Susan]

And at least I don't have missing patients. (missing patience, yes.)

[As You Wish]

Princess Bride is my favorite commentary on the postmodernist theories of economic revolution and their effects on structuralist linguistics. Or maybe I'm thinking of something else. Does Andre the Giant play an investment banker?

[Melt'n]

Here's my princess bride contribution;

Inigo: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo: I must know.
Westley: Get used to disappointment.

[Susan]

Just repeating commercials..."It eees a beeelion dollars..." Love the Pepsi ads. (don't care for Pepsi at all)

Rambling today. Spent too much time recording commercials I guess, which is where I am off to once again.

[Federal Mallard]

Elle darling,
I get that a lot.

[Susan]

Yes Tina, with the hurricane I get the joy of the weather radio going off (loudly) every five minutes or so with tornado watches and warning, flood alerts, and so on. Ususally right before I turn the microphone on to update the listeners. I'm sooo glad I'm not getting alerts today.

[Kat]

Great movie, great book.. and they just gets better with the watching/reading...

Best lines
Wesley: A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp
Buttercup: We'll never survive
Wesley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has

[Kat]

Great movie, great book.. and they just gets better with the watching/reading...

Best lines
Wesley: A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp
Buttercup: We'll never survive
Wesley: Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has

[Melt'n]

Okay - I lied - one more for Kat...

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva... So tweasure your wuv.

[Federal Duck]

*moves the rock, throws the cap overboard, and pours elle a moatarita*

Don't worry! like I said, I really do get that a lot. Comes with the moniker :)

[Mr.Fisher]

I agree. Never been through the hurricane or earthquake biz. But I can tell you that Tornados do just come outta nowhere.

Just this spring while at an evening Softball game, the sky abruptly turned pitch black with rolling clouds to the West of us (as Rita said what seemed like miles), then suddenly we were hit with heavy rain. We all went running into the dug out, figuring the rain would stop in few beers and we'd go back to playing. But the refs and quite a few others noticing the ever incroaching clouds called the game. As soon as we rounded up all our gear the rain stopped. As we were walking back to our vehicles we saw the tail of a twister start coming out of the sky practically right on top of the parking lot (I know you guys are gonna laugh, and go ahead) the parking lot was also doubling as a pasture. Yes, the one with sex deturing cows and all. That is also where the two softball fields are. In the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah we all hopped in our vehicles and headed for safety (wherever the hell that was, don't tell the wife but I had no clue) Then it turned from day to night in mere seconds and the rain started again, only this time it was coming down side ways. I drove slowly and we had the radio on. It was saying there's a Tornado heading East bound. We travelled North. Slowly, but we left just in time. I found safety.

You could cut the tension with a butt-butter knife.

No pics though. ;(

*Loves myself a cold one after that* Whew!

[Kat]

oops.. I knew that would double post.. dang it...
and Susan.. see it .. see it now.. or we send the ROUS's after you

[Kat]

thanks melt'n .. and done with a perfect accent no less.. you gotta love it

[Jeff Meyerson]

Tina, loved "if you see him give me a call." Just a wonderful image of some old guy wandering out of your ER and turning up in a hospital gown in NY, Ft. Lauderdale, Winnipeg, St. Louis or wherever. Maybe a tornado will drop him in Bangladesh.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Bangi, if you don't lay off the Cokes you'll never be able to sleep. Just close your eyes and relax... you are feeling very very sleepy...

[Susan]

Kat-the ROUS's? Will I need to see it to know what that is, or am I just a little slow today? Maybe this weekend I'll have a chance to rent it.

[Kat]

Bangi.. just reading ReMOAT mail.. can you translate the Bangladeshi phrase for us, por favor?

[Kat]

you will need to see it Susan.. and I suggest quickly.. ROUS's are nothing to mess with

[Melt'n]

Dreaming of large bodies of water is supposed to symbolize a great emotional strain or intense emotional levels.

[D'Artagnan]

Kat, 'por favor' is Spanish, not Bangladeshi, and it means 'ple...

What?

Mmmmh, never mind.

[Leetie]

I called Boo a duck?

I don't get it. A mallard is a species - male or female, isn't it?

[Kat]

C-bol!!! Fantastic photo.. no crap-cam at all!! Everybody looks gorgeous!!

[BigD]

Tina,
I guess he figured getting slammed was better than any old bypass.

[Kat]

I know it's Spanish.. if I knew Bangladeshi for the "p" word I would use it.. scary thing is I can't even remember the Maori word for the "p" word, and I'm sure they taught us that in school at some point. Can't remember thank you either... damnit.. gonna have to go to the library and check the English-Maori dictionary now so I don't look like an idiot (or more like an idiot)

[Kat]

ok.. back in half an hour or so.. have a fair bit on today.. see y'all round

[Federal Mallard]

mallard

\Mal"lard\, n. [F. malari,fr. m[^a]le male + -art =-ard. See Male, a., and -ard.] 1. (Zo["o]l.) A drake; the male of Anas boschas.

2. (Zo["o]l.) A large wild duck (Anas boschas) inhabiting both America and Europe. The domestic duck has descended from this species. Called also greenhead

[Mr.Fisher]

(((hugs bangi)))

Thanks. You're a real sweetheart.

Here this is something I pulled up and have read before. I especially like the "Fish" part.

Water - if flowing water, such as a river or stream, increased romance. If water is murky, one is unsure of one's own feelings. If fish in the water, abundance and creativity. ;)

Tina- Too Funny. We used to practice football in high school across from an adult mental handicap facilty and there were contantly "workers in scrubs" coming out searching frantically for a guy who would go AWOL. He always ran across the street completely naked (except for his sneakers) and would go searching through unlocked cars in the Retirement homes parking lot (not a pasture) digging through the ashtrays and eating the cigarette butts. (YUM)

Let me tell ya, it stopped many a football practice.

*Loves Tina a Grande Moatarita*

[Kat]

scary mental image Mr F

[Federal Duck]

Mr. Fisher,

Sorry about that. At the time, I thought they said the football team *wanted* to see my uberwinky flapping in the breeze. And don't knock a good, slow-roasted cigarette butt 'til you've tried it. Then it's a perfectly acceptable thing to knock.

[kingw]

Bangi dreaming of drowning just means it is September and you are in Bangladesh.

Tina No problem mixing me with Mike W He seems a pleasant fellow.

[Kat]

Welcome to McMoaties.. would you like some slow-roasted cigarette butts with that? Yes, I know they taste like crap.. that's why they're (not their or there) called butts

[Kat]

Oh, and Fed? That was you? I AM impressed

[Kat]

Silence descends on the Moat as working Bloglits head for home

[kingw]

Kat Could it be that people are working?

[Federal Duck]

I'll hang in there with you Kat, they don't let us go on the naked cigarette butt scavenger hunt for another 30 minutes.

[rhealist]

*swims up to MOAT, climbs aboard*

Uh, naked cigarette butt scavenger hunt? Is this the latest field trip? I think I might be overdressed...

[Kat]

could be king.. or cruising old blog like myself.. it's morning here and I'm working evenings.. I have shoppping to do.. probably should tidy up ... so here I am.. and in old blog I am.. and screwing up my syntax royally I am.