WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

You need to take a cruise.

(Thanks to Ted Habte-Gabr)

Comments

[Tina]

Okay MOATites I am going to bed now...See you online in the AM.

*finishes glass of wine and goes to bed with visions of gymnasts dancing in my head*

*hugs and kisses and boogers*

[Bismuth]

Awesome, I got Tina's boogers!

[Bismuth]

Joke of the week:

How do you apply for a job at Hooters?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They hand you a uniform and say "Here, fill this out."

BA-DUMP-CHING!

[Kat]

firstly.. to the Higgys... all the best luck and love in the world.. *watches, misty-eyed as the Higgys drive away in their wedding car*. My wedding present to you is a batch of choc-chip butt butter to do with as you wish.

Tina.. until he grew a beard, I had a thing for Grissom.. he was a cutie-patootie.. and then he developed a facial fungus that ruined it all.

and as far as earworms go.. ABBA is a chronic reoffender. I think they should be locked up in solitary confinement for the good of society. The Jackson Five are almost as bad.. and we won't mention the Village People.. no .. not at all.. that would be cruel...

we want you, we want you, we want you as a new recruit!! we want you, we want you, we want you as a new recruit!!
In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas....
no.. that would be cruel.. but not as cruel as this..

Young Man, theres a place you can go, young man, when you're short on some dough, young man...
you see, if I did that, it would just be sadistic and cruel. And I'm not like that.. often

[Kat]

puts on coffee, waits for moaties to turn up and slap her silly.. although I'm considering having a serious talk with Tina about this Cher thing,, particularly the Jesse James song.. that is one of the... shall we say... more desperate comeback attempts (the attempt before "life without love") it's just not pretty .. why can't she retire like any normal person with more money than she'll ever need?

[Kat]

ok... let's see if another earworm brings people out of their cabanas...

Aaaaalone again, naturallllly....

[slyeyes]

Coffee?? Ah,Kat's got it ready.

why can't she retire like any normal person with more money than she'll ever need

How I long to be "normal"

Quote of the night from the last nights Cardinals/Dodgers game.

The score was 1-3, Cards winning. Dodgers were batting (I can't remember what inning) Bases loaded, Finley coming up to bat. Apparently, he's hit grand slams in his past. Announcer says (can't remember if it was Buck or McCarver), "Finley is known for the grand salami" ---- just as Finley reaches down and grabs himself. Hysterical!!!

Other memorable quotes "His strength is his weakness"; "he's laid back in an intense kind of way"

(Yeah, Cards)

[Leetie]

Go morans!

[slyeyes]

Leetie, what is really hysterical about that photo is that there is (maybe was?) a judge in the St. Louis area named Moran. I forwarded the pic to a number of attorneys at work and they thought it was quite apprpriate that someone was telling Moran to get a brain.

[Leetie]

Glad you got some additional use out of it! ;)

[blogchik]

congrats to Higgy and the Future Mrs Higgy! have a lovely wedding and an even lovelier honeymoon!

I gotta run since my roommate found a potential apartment, but I wanted to give a shoutout to my peeps first.

hugs, kisses, and gropes
-blogchik

[punky brewster]

Bye everyone! I'm off to Buffalo, NY for a wedding ...

I have a bet with cbol that I can go over Niagara Falls in a barrel with out dying or soiling my pants (not necessarily in that order)...

Wish me luck!!!

[Bismuth]

Sly - I actually saw that! I was at a restaurant, and saw the game out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't hear the sound, but I saw "grand salami" up on the screen. I figured it was a type on the closed captioning, and they meant "grand slam."

Grand Salami WBAGNFARB.

[Leetie]

where the heck is boo?

[Fed]

Hey guys, how's Friday treating you? It's a little slow over this way, and I guess it is on the blog, too.

[Leetie]

Yea, I remember that post... haven't heard from him since.

And I'm checking all the eyes in my portraits this morning you rascal you!

[Leetie]

DJ, I've noticed that if you skip a line, the italics don't continue.

[Mr.Fisher]

Hip Hip Higgaray!! Best wishes from us Fishes!!

Tina- If you girls are switching teams, Can I be the HUmpire? (the H is supposed to be silent) ;-)

Punky- Enjoy your day in the barrell, and when you get back I'll still be here waiting to be sharpened.

Oh and I can't believe I haven't shared this will you Moatsneezers yet.

The State Fair is going on here this week, and they have on display, a Giant 6ft sculpture of Darth Vader (and an inch n a half one of Yoda)and they've both been carved out of BUTTER!!

Haven't had the pleasure to see this one yet, (I saw last years, it was a buttered Elvis) but I fully intend on finding the artist and asking if it's real Butt-butter or Parkay.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Punky, have fun. I must say the Falls tempted me to think "I wonder...". It just doesn't look that high and you think, "Looks like fun. I bet it would be a real rush. After all if a 7 year old could survive wearing just a bathing suit..." but wiser heads (my wife, who is very afraid of heights)stopped that line of thought before it went very far. Still, the Falls are great.

Sly, congrats so far on the cards making the Dodgers look sick, even if Marquis didn't have it. He is a Staten Island native, which you probably know, and the friend of the son of friends of ours (if think is understandable). He never really had a chance in Atlanta. I thought McCarver & Buck were lousy yesterday, with the latter trying to make it sound like what happened in the 4th inning would determine the outcome of the game. Hasn't he ever seen the Yankees & Red Sox play? Their (not they're) games are rarely final until they're (not their) really over.

Only 5 more days until we leave for Vegas!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Today's Public Service Announcement for Guys:

It's the ever popular Thong Day on babesdaily.com.

That is all.

[Federal Duck]

What a coicidence! It's casual thong day here in the office. I'm wearing my favorite pink pastel number with my coconut athletic cup.

Tina: every day?

*cough*

[Federal Duck]

Oh, I'm sure you're not corrupted entirely.
*stares at ceiling and whistles innocently*

[Mike Weasel]

OK, OK, so the Cards won 8-3... again.

Now you have to come to L.A. where you won't be able to see the pitches for the smog. We'll getcha this time!

(C'mon, guys, have some mercy, we've been to the playoffs three times and have yet to win a single freakin' game)

[Mike Weasel]

Waitaminute, why am I talking about baseball when there's a perfectly good thong discussion taking place?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Tina, um, 'scuse me I need to go lie down with a cool cloth on my head.

[Mike Weasel]

Really? Can I see?

[rhealist]

*wanders in in search of MOATarita. Realizes she's getting in the way of a thought wave*

*ducks*

[rhealist]

Tina: *blush, giggle, suggestive eyebrow raise*

*looks at above post and wonders why she's talking about herself in third person. Realizes she's still doing it*

*slap*

Okay, better now.

[Mr.Fisher]

*Wanders in and on my way to Loving Rhea a Moatarita I get one H E double hockey sticks of a mental picture of Seattles best side of town, DOWNtown*

WHOA!

Oh and there's Tina attached to downtown, *Shouts* Hey Tina! GO Mariners!!

I don't know about the Mariners, but you certainly win a Pennant for that one.

And a pennant to Jeff, for the ever important PSA. (Thanks Jeff. I will check when I get home, ya know for scientific reasons)

Speaking of scientific reasons, Weasel how ya holdin up to Mad experiments? Making any scientific progress, or Hypothesiseseses?

[Federal Duck]

Dearest Tina,

href="http://shop.mlb.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=1485292&cp=1452359.1452833">Here You Go :)

[Federal Duck]

GDMFSOB.

href="http://shop.mlb.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=1485292&cp=1452359.1452833">Here You Go :)

[rhealist]

*clutching my MOATaritas in both fists* Thanks, guys!

Impromptu poll: Does anyone find the use of the word 'balls' in reference to male genitalia offensive? (And, if so, I apologize in advance for the offensive nature of this post).

[Leetie]

*tosses Ducky another Xanax*

[Mike Weasel]

Here You Go

Was this what you were going for?

No badge for you, bub!

*goes back to enjoying thought waves*

Mr Fisher: Experiments proceeding apace, but alas, science isn't always speedy. More experiments are definitely in order. ;)

[Federal Duck]

I'll be at this all #%&^ing day.

Farking Work!

[Mike Weasel]

Not at all, rhea. In fact I have two 15 lb. balls I use every Friday night. One is green and the other is bluish-purple.

[Mike Weasel]

Yay! *returns badge*

[Leetie]

That's why we sometimes call Mike "Blueballs Testeverde"

[rhealist]

You know, Mike, I would recommend bringing those out more than once a week. After all, exercise IS important.

[BigD]

Co-worker (female) sent a memo regarding testing software "the more testes, the better".

Leetie, *groan*

[Mike Weasel]

You mean I'm QB-ing for the Cowboys now? No wonder I picked him for my fantasy team...

[rhealist]

Okay, I have a second, so I will provide context for the weird-seeming poll question. We used the word in a recent script and now Broadcast Standards and Practices has told us to take the word out because it's offensive. Apparently the fragile minds of North Americans are still reeling from their momentary exposure to the toxic nipple of Janet Jackson, and if we were to add even one more shocking/offensive item to that pile - say the use of the word 'balls' - everyone's brains would implode into a big pile of mortally offended goo - unable to be put back together again with all the frog glue in the world - and, essentially, it would be the end of civilization as we know it.

But now, for some reason, someone in the office is playing Air Supply's 'Making Love out of Nothing at all" and I must track them down and do mean, mean things to them.

[Mike Weasel]

You're probably right, Rhealist. It's important to keep them clean and get the oil off. But really, it's all about how you grip them.

[slyeyes]

Jeff, I agree the broadcast team was off last night, but it was better than listening to it on radio. We were actually thinking Buck & McCarver were "channeling" Mike Shannon (radio announcer for Cards). He's been known to say things like "first the guy goes like this...then like that"; "he had a 5-run home run back then"; (and when in New York during a full moon) "I wish the folks back in St. Louis could see this moon."

As far as Joe Buck, I used to work with Jack Buck when I was at KMOX Radio. Loved him!!! I first knew Joe as an obnoxious 12 year old when he'd come into the station with his dad and would get into EVERYTHING. But now, I honestly think he'll be a better announcer than his dad. (if you forget last night)

And Mike...I'm trying to remember, but the last time the Dodgers and Cardinals met in post season....didn't you guys win??

OK, enough baseball...back to surfing thought waves.

[Mike Weasel]

Hmmm... what if you replaced "balls" with "nuts?"

[Jeff Meyerson]

TIna, OK, I'm back. Thanks.

Rhealist, that is moronic. What do they do if a baseball (oops!) story comes up (oops!)?

"Watch this guy whack the horsehide?"

That could be a masturbatory euphemism, right?

And speaking of which, this is related to the Big Snake thread on the main blog. As a kid I went to summer camp with two brothers whose last name was Bader. Whenever the camp director referred to one of them he called him Master Bader. Really. He never called anyone else Master, just this poor sap.

[Mike Weasel]

Sly: You could be right, was that in 88 when the Dodgers made it to the Series? That was the last time they won a playoff game. Since then, they've been swept twice in the playoffs.

[Mike Weasel]

Bye Tina! Me too. Thanks for the thoughts! ;)

[rhealist]

catching up:

Leetie: *giggle*
Mike: Yes, I've heard finger placement is important.

So, the 'solution' that BS&P provided? Instead of 'balls', use the word 'nads'. I'm sorry, but is 'nads' LESS offensive to anyone? Frankly, I find that word offensive. #$!@#* BS&P!!!

[Deon]

OK, Tina. Later. Thanks for keeping us all patched together when we hurt ourselves.

Do you have colleagues near Niagra? Could you give them a heads-up about Punky's visit? We want the best of care for her.

Rhea? Just wrong! Keep your "Air supply" earwigs to yourself! Its like cryptonite to me!

[looking for some shrieky goth chick metal to purge ". . . outta nuthin at allllll." Ah, here we go... Lacuna Coil!

[rhealist]

*holding up a bunch of frayed and shredded stereo wires* I think I've taken care of the problem, Deon.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sly, agree on McCarver & Buck generally.

Yeah, Mike, '88 was when the Dodgers rode Orel Hershiser all the way despite having the weakest World Series winner since... the '59 Dodgers, which had to be the weakest in my lifetime, if not ever.

And Mike...I'm trying to remember, but the last time the Dodgers and Cardinals met in post season....didn't you guys win??

Sly & Mike, the last time the Dodgers played St. Louis was not '88. In '88 they beat a far superior Mets team (right, Tina?). It was '85, when St. Louis won and then lost the Series to Kansas City, in large part due to one of the worst calls by an umpire in Major League history (you could look it up).

The Dodgers lost to Cincinnati in '95 and Atlanta in '96.

[Mike Weasel]

I wasn't sure, I just knew that was the last time the Dodgers won any playoff games. I've never been one to quote lots of sports statistics.
(*grimly holds on to official "Guy" card anyway*)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Oh, and St. Louis has done better in the first round, but then...

'96 beat San Diego, then lost to Atlanta
'00 beat Atlanta, then lost to the Mets
'01 lost in the first round to Arizona
'02 beat Arizona, then lost to San Francisco

[Kat]

woo hooo.. I made it!
Mike.. have you had your *BSA censoreds* checked by a doctor? I don't think those are healthy colours

Rhea... what would the BSA rather hear?? tessies? goolies? family jewels? eggs (they go with the sausage)? TESTICLES?? (let's see if any of these are offensive to Knight Ridder)

Punky.. have fun and do the barrel thing.

Thanks to all who got rid of the earworms.. except for this one....
yummy yummy yummy, I got love in my tummy
and I feel like loving you

[Kat]

*is baseball retarded.. i will blurk quietly for a bit*

[Kat]

AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

TOM JOOOOOONES!!!!!

MAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOP!!!!!!

*loads Tom into ye olde skeet shooter*

PULL!
dang.. I only winged him. Pick him up and load him again. I'm prepared to keep doing this till I get it right.

PULL!

[Happy Happy Joy Joy]

*does the wiggle dance*

[slyeyes]

Jeff, yes, our recent failure to get past the second round has locally been called "The LaRussa Curse."

And out of those, personally, '96 hurt the most. I was at the game here in St. Louis where the tide turned. All we had to do was win that one .... and I think we lost 0-14.

*with the return of the bitter memories, calls doctor for prescription refill.*

[Kat]

Joshie!! you got a new job!! Is the dresscode better or worse... I guess BSP would expect clothing of more than the penguin thong and coconut bra variety.

[Ren]

Stimpy! You eeeedieeot.

[LawwwyursR'us]

Frankly, we here (not hear) at NightRider (not KnightRidder)find this whole thread offensive. But since we have thus far, failed to shut it down, let it be known that we prefer wedding tackle, or nads. Possibly ram-parts might do as well.

[Mr.Fisher]

Poor Ren, Such a hostile little fellow.

Rita- I really like your Toxic Nipples. They're GRRReat!!

[Kat]

NightRider? So David Hasselhoff is still your CEO?
He went to Baywatch.. if he can do that we should be allowed to get away with anything

[Kit]

I only took the part for that awesome theme song.

[LawwwyursR'us]

Only if the men wear girdles like David does. Then they can get away with anything.

[Kat]

ok... last post until I get back tonight (about 12-13 hours from now)

BOOGER

CAR

WEDDING TA... I mean BALLS!!

[Pamela]

As long as I'm on the show, anybody can do anything.

[Twiki]

Be-dee-be-dee-bee. I'm just a cheap R2-D2 knock-off.

[RunningInSlowMo]

Except run at a speed faster than slow motion. I think the weight of those things slows everything down.

[rhealist]

Kat: I LOVE goolies.

[Deon]

Bangi...email me please.

[baiting the "curiosity" trap]

[rhealist]

er, the term I mean. I have never heard that term before. erm... oh, crap.

[slyeyes]

From those folks at Jibjab.com who brought you This Land Is Your Land, Here's I Love to Be in D.C.

[Mr.Fisher]

Yeah that is a good term. Goolies.
Because goo lies directly behind them.

So says Bangi.

*Waves at Cuddle_Bug*

[Susan]

*tries to dig out earworms*

"Yummy yummy" just won't quit. Unfortunatly.

And as I know just about less than nothing about baseball, I'll stay out of that.

On the plus side, it's Friday and RL is fairly quiet. I'll take that as a good thing.

Although I have a feeling this may double post. I thought I posted but looked up again, to see this just sitting here, done. *tries again*

[Goat Moat]

I found a thread titled "a good name for a rock band" and the article it links to is called Acid Goats.

We could relocate to the GOAT

Any votes?

[Susan]

My previous post being my first of the day, I was rather surprised at the length of time it took to post. I finally hit refresh and there it was. But is it my computer or the blog?

[Goat Moat]

Susan,

It's the moat. That's why it might be a good time to consider the next thread to sink.

[BigD]

We have over 2700 posts so it is the blog.

[Zee Canard Feydarale]

I zink not, mye leetle zhugarplume, eet ees yew who should be worrieed. For undair mye calm exshterior, I am ...

*Jumps into and out of a phone booth*

Le Darkwing Ducke!!

Take zat, you seely English smellair uhve ozair people's bottoms! I scoff at yew!

[Susan]

Oh now I will think in a French accent all afternoon. Zees ees wonderful. Well, I'll be thinking it, not typing it.

I figured it was the moat. By my figuring we've been here since around 9/25...let's see...that's about...two weeks? Wordy bunch, aren't we?

[crash]

The only thing that should be offensive to Knight Ridder is David Hasselhoff's chest hair.

*circumvents safety checks and 403s to get this posted*

[Susan]

Hmmm...the goat moat. I trust the goats might be a little less, say, rambunctous than the monkeys were? Where was the goat moat, as well? I seem to remember it, but not where it was.

[FD]

*sheepish grin*

Bangi, I had a subscription to Count Duckula. Seriously.

[Mike Weasel]

Oooh Thundercats!

[crash]

Thundercats...HOOOOOOOOOO!

[crash]

I was ALL about the Real Ghostbusters, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Federal Duck]

Sorry for the delay guys, my boss started talking to me about "work," whatever that is.

The Goat Moat is here. Portal To The Goat Moat

This better work.

[Deon]

Lets see, this one ought to do. . .

[Pulls out antique teakwood soapbox from collection]

As a courtesy, could we not use pseudonyms other than our originals (and variations thereof).

I would hate to blast a friend thinking s/he was a spammer. Likewise, if this place gets filled with comments by unrecognizable names, it feels like a party of strangers. When comments from GoatMoat, RunningInSlowMo, Twiki, Pamela, LawwwrursR'us, Kit, Ren, HappyHappyJoyJoy, start flooding in, I am tempted to go in search of a party of friends.

Now, if "Mr. Broadcasting Standards & Practices" makes a name-related comment and shows a friendly e-mail tag, then my timid self is put at ease.

As you were. Oh, and don't admit guilt or apologize. Sentencing for unneeded apologies around here can be quite severe.

[puts soap box away; finds unopened case of his home-brew]

Hey! Lookee what I found! An uncracked case of my home-made Grip ping Bea st Mead!

Try this folks; It is a cultural treat!

[crash]

GOOD LUCK
(from your friendly neighborhood stalker)

[Deon]

Bangi, wait until I tell Asterix!

Oh, and still no e-mail from you.

[peers out porthole into cyberspace]

I think the black hole got it. Try again?

[Mike Weasel]

A Debate Date? Sounds ghastly. Good luck!

[slyeyes]

I like the idea of moving to the Goat Moat. I kind of miss the monkeys and aging 70's & 80's stars. It will be fun to play with goats.

I'm getting ready to head out of town for the weekend, but just opened the fridge and something in there apparently is from another world...at least smells like it. I just cleaned it out, too.

Oh, well....let's see what mutant form it takes when I return Monday.

If you don't hear from me.......it's been nice knowing you. Tell the authorities to check the fridge first.

[Mike Weasel]

We can get Mad to check it out when she gets back...

[peter]

Sly, whatever it is, call Maria, she'l turn it into art.

[rita]

Shoot, for once I'm online at home at night, and a presidential debate is coming on, and I was gonna play the drinking game, and now I have to go pick up my son-in-law and grandson in an hour or so.

I guess it's not considered good form to drive drunk with your grandson in the car?

[Susan]

Not usually, Rita. The authorities tend to frown very hard on that type of thing. Or so I hear.

[PETER]

Of course not rita, but here's a moatarita!

[peter]

I'd rather not but have to watch the crap, um, candidates.