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June 30, 2004

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using flying moose.

(Thanks to Tommer Peterson)

Comments

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Hmmph. Everyone knows the squirell is the one that flies.

"Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a . . . AAAAAAH!"

"when their involuntary encounter with the moose took place"

Was it necessary to specify 'involuntary'?

"Car demolished by falling moose" is probably specifically excluded from coverage...

demolition moose would be a good name for a rock band

Key Quote:

"when Randi Olsen, driving in the oncoming lane with her young daughter, was unable to stop and hit the moose that was now lying in the road."

The question is why she would want to stop and hit the moose....Does she have something against Moose?

Just before impact

Isn't this the same country that had trouble with flying elks in the house? They should be looking for the catapult that launched the cows in MP's "In Search of the Holy Grail."

Maybe we've got large Northern mammals feasting on fermented, mental weed?

This is a good argument for living in Fl and taking one's chances with the drivers.

Further investigation revealed that the animal was fleeing a would-be moose-milker, a dairy entrepreneur eager to get Norway's answer to Sweden's burgeoning moose cheese industry underway.

*This is a good argument for living in Fl and taking one's chances with the drivers*

Yeah, let's see them fling Moose at FL drivers. We'll just see how they react. Or in the case of the older drivers, if they react.

"Fred, what was that?"

"What?"

"That noise?"

"Aren't you listening? That huge banging noise and why is the roof of the car so low?"

"Confound it woman, I'm trying to drive here. You almost made me turn off my left turn signal and we'll be turning left tomorrow. Pipe down."

"But, Fred, there's a large animal in front of the car. We aren't moving anymore."

"What...What...Who left that there? I tell you, Helen, these streets have really gone to the dogs."

"Moose, dear."

"What's that?"

"I said moose."

"Don't be stupid. Why would you say moose?"

"I didn't just SAY moose that IS a moose. In front of the car. It's why we are not moving. I also think it is why the roof is so low."

"Blast it, Helen. Why would a moose be going around Florida stopping cars and lowering their roofs? Would you please think before you talk, woman."

"Yes, dear. I think I'll get out now and talk to that nice young policman."

Lily dear, whatever you're doing now, I suspect you're underutilized. Go to Hollywood RIGHT NOW and write us a funny movie or sitcom! Maybe one starring Harry Anderson.

GOOD ONE Lily!

Got tears over it. MADE MY DAY!

Beer!

For you MPATHG fans out there, THIS is why it's so important to teach your moose how to sign complicated insurance forms!

They know this in Sweden. You'd think those Norwegians would have gotten a clue.

Go to Hollywood. Hah. You can't get rid of me that easily. I don't go to movies much. Looking forward to Spiderman, though. I don't watch T.V. sitcoms either, I have never seen Friends, Fraiser or any of them, so I have no interest in writing them.

Last night, my daughter brought home a DVD of Monty Python and The Holy Grail that her cousin loaned her. I might watch it this afternoon. My DM group tells me that my campaigns are are very MP, which they seems to think is some kind of good thing. They are astounded that I am not a fan. I have my doubts. 20 assorted DM geeks could be wrong.

Lily - MP fan taunting can be risky (believe me)

Bravo, Lily! Please watch MP and the Holy Grail. You've just got to, to understand what we've been quoting 'round here.

All right, all right, because MOTW recommended it, I'll watch it. I will give you all an update when I get done.

*MP fan taunting can be risky*

I am not taunting MP fans. Why would I do that? I am sure they open themselves up for enough abuse in their lives without me adding to it:)

Just kidding....*brandishes Headbasher the Mace that No Man Can Own, But Can Only Rent +8.*

No takers, well all right then.

*leaves to make popcorn and watch MP And The Holy Grail, deluxe DVD.*

Lily - enjoy the flick - and don't worry too much about taunting MP fans here... after all, we'll just fire arrows into the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles...
Ah, the classic that is The Holy Grail...

How are your campaigns like MP? Do you have large killer rabbits? Magicians named Tim? Castles named "Aaaarrgghhh....."?

I can picture the diamond shaped yellow warning sign along the that highway now, and it's a funny picture.

I swear to God, officer ... the bloody thing came flying out of the sky and landed on the roof of my car.

What? No, I haven't been drinking. Why would you ask?

a. Lily, any mother who helps her daughter find Monty Python and avoid "Friends" is a GOOD MOM. Keep it up.

Two. What follows is a true story. I swear. Honest to Dave! Years ago I was heading into Jackson, Michigan heading south from I-94 when a deer, which had jumped a fence, landed 20 feet lower than she expected and right in front of my Fiat 128 station wagon. A car that had about the same mass as the deer. I tried to get out of her way but I did hit her. My wife and kids were hysterical; I stopped at the nearest phone booth and called the cops (no cell phones in those days) to ask for help for the deer.
But here's where it gets wierd and it always does get wierd, doesn't it? Two cops came. The first passed us at the phone booth, shot the deer, threw her into the back of his car and left. The second came to us at the phone booth asked for ID, insurance cards and all of the other stuff but couldn't give me an accident report to cover the damage to the Fiat because I couldn't show him a dead deer to match the dent in my bumper.

swear to gawd

your
not you
your
Hello?
Can I go home now?

Hey, I'm pretty sure this has been blogged before. Look at the upper right corner, where it says this story was first reported in Feb 2003.

The moose are out of control!

Took me a while to watch the movie. I had no idea how to run our T.V. and DVD. My dear husband has a home theater set up with several remotes and I have never wanted to know how to run it. I was saved by an 11 yr-old nephew who stopped by and showed me how to start it.

*a. Lily, any mother who helps her daughter find Monty Python and avoid "Friends" is a GOOD MOM. Keep it up.*

Having just watched it I am not so sure:) However, I have never seen Friends, so I can only assume it is really bad.

*How are your campaigns like MP?*

Good question. I have no idea, I think because we have had discussions about how large a vampire bat would have to be to carry off a full grown cow and suck him dry, or maybe it's Bruce the Unicorn, I don't know. Or the Trojan snake where, sadly the soldiers lying in it drowned when they were parked unwisely under a downpout before a huge thunderstorm. It could be the minstrels. There are songs for every occasion in certain very desperate areas. I did not rejoice greatly when they were eaten in the movie:(

No magicians named Tim, However I do have a son by that name. If I had seen the movie sooner, I would have known who it was who had blown up the basement toilet. Then I could have avoided the parental version of the Spanish Inquisition. However, he would never overact like that.

Oh and Lily, BEFORE you return the Deluxe DVD of Holy Grail you MUST watch the Japanese translated clips, they are completely hysterical!
The engrish subtitles under the Japanese vocals state something that used to be "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries" to "Your father has no honor and your mother works in a factory" or some such thing, which i'm sure is FAR more scathing in Japan, altho i've never smelled an elderberry...

This story is a rerun! We demand *new* flying moose stories!

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