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June 24, 2004

THE BIG TIME

Man, does this ever make us feel stupid.

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25 of Iowa's most unique and interesting community? Sounds like a hell of read....

*communities

Dave, maybe you could write the Forward...or Introduction, or Preface, or whatever...

iowa HAS 25 unique and interesting communities?

LOL! This is like a "Who's Who in American Colleges" or whatever that was that they tried and tried and tried to sell me. We'll print your name and only charge you $50 for the book that is being printed hoping you will pay $50 to see it...

Wish I'd thought of this. Very "Music Man", isn't it?

And only $30 too! That's $1.20 per community!

Dave,

How are you ever going to become President if you don't study this book voraciously and figure out a good strategy for caucusing? Get your priorities straight boy! Interns and primal screams won't win it for you!

No mention of the Giant Cheeto or Speedo sleding DJs, much less the magnificient Aquatever, that's both fun outdoors and indoors. Do they think people will by this book without that kind of knowledge?

Car!

Should sell well................................in Iowa.

It's only 256 pages? I thought the Giant Cheeto alone could render an entire chapter...

"Along with dozens of full-color photographs, every story highlights the attributes which make each community one of Iowa's favorite hometowns."


I, personally, will be disappointed if there is less than a full page picture of the giant Cheeto.

230 of the 256 pages are pictures of the various corn species.

Flukey

It's probably like on of those Time Life books:

"We will send you your the first Iowa Community book, Algona, free of charge, and if you should decide to keep it, DO NOTHING! We will charge your Credit Card $29.99 and send you an additional Community book each month for the next 23 months! And if you order NOW we will include a handy heavy duty tote bag featuring a picture of the World's Largest Cheeto!! And if for any reason you are unsatisfied with your book, though! E-mail that know-it-all Dave Barry, maybe he'll write a column about it or something.

but wait, there's more!

the second edition will contain the scientific names in addition to the common names.

reserve your copies now!

"This is like a "Who's Who in American Colleges" or whatever that was that they tried and tried and tried to sell me. We'll print your name and only charge you $50 for the book that is being printed hoping you will pay $50 to see it..."

Waxwing, you are so right. It's like "Send us $50 and we'll send you the Barry Family coat of arms along with an embossed edition of a unique book, THE BARRYS IN AMERICA."

"Unique" is honest in this case, as only if you send the money will they make up a copy of the book for you. Skip the Iowa book, Dave.

This does not even surprise me. Being a life-long resident of the fine state of Minnesota, home of the "my governor can beat up your governor" bumper stickers, I can assure you that:

#1 NO, there are NOT 25 interesting communities in Iowa. There are not even 2.
#2 People in Iowa are painfully unaware of this.

Perhaps this book should be `bundled' with:

`Two things to remember about Amish dating techniques'

`Famous navel lint collections of the 18th century'

and a pair of simulated tortoise shell nail clippers.

But on second thought, wouldn't this noble tome be a great gift for the office gift exchange? Have the camera ready to get the expression on the recipient's face after opening it.

Jeff M, sounds like you got quite a few of those book offers too...did I guess right?

"Amish dating techniques", while a pretty lousy name for a rock band, would still be a more interesting read than the 25 most interesting communities in Iowa.

I think the real reason they're printing that book is to try to convince people to stay. Very sad.

Amish dating techniques?

I wonder how many end in the words: " But I was just helping the sheep over the fence!"

Dave,

As a Presidential candidate, what you need in a young, dark-haired, slightly overwieght intern to study this book and report back to you. Reports would take..say 15 minutes a day, or so I have read.

Waxwing: you know it. Along with credit card companies begging me to take their cards and "protect yourself against identity theft."

And then I come on line to get offers for viagra and the like, plus a bigger dick to enjoy it more.

By the way, great idea. Can you see someone's face when they get THE BARRY FAMILY IN AMERICA in the office Christmas grab bag?

Unless it's Judi of course. That wouldn't be pretty -- for Dave.

Gotta say it:

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, "advanced orders".

Doesn't that tell you that the real reason behind this publication is that The Blog has created *cough* *ahem* "just one more question..." (been watching too many old Columbos :-) a "popular" niche whereby the motive was found, the opportunity was made, and the method was advancement of Algona et al from the posting of a giant Cheeto on The Blog? ;-)

How many pages will be devoted to Algona's famous YMCA that I keep hearing so much about?

Right, and the swimming pool and prisoner-of-war museum built by actual prisoners of war.

Which war, by the way?

Ames is a nice college town, I was born in Le Mars, but _ORANGE_CITY_? Orange City is interesting in the same way Jim Jones or Oral Roberts is interesting.

It just _ruins_ the book for me.

Dubuque
Des Moines
Davenport
Marshalltown
Mason City
Keokuk
Ames
Clearlake


Yeah, I've never set foot in Iowa -- but I was in "The Music Man" in college!

"... ought to give Iowa a TRY!!"

I'm sure the chapter on Mackville will be quite interesting.
*suppresses a snicker, though not too successfully*

There is also the Big Guy in Brainerd MN

"It's a quintessential Minnesota experience."

"25 of Iowa's most unique and interesting community?"

If I may quote (or at least paraphrase) FAWLTY TOWERS:

"It's one of the world's shortest books. Like THE WIT AND WISDOM OF MARGARET THATCHER. Or GREAT ENGLISH LOVERS."

Get him Pliskin! Spammers not welcome!

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