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June 30, 2004


...uness you run into a pizza thief.

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)


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Does this not work?

Needs more cheese.

Page Not Found.

If you carry this sideways like you would normally due with a laptop-type briefcase, wouldn't all the cheese and stuff slide off?

Delivered in 30 minutes or less or your next laptop is free.

Actually, a laptop would probably taste better than a Domino's Pizza.

Maybe this?

This thing is too obviously fake. For one thing, it doesn't say "You've tried the rest, now try the Best!" with a picture of the Italian cook from Lady and the Tramp kissing his fingers. Also, no greasy stains.

I usually slip my laptop inside a copy of an impressive magazine like the Economist so people think I'm reading something intellectual . . . no, wait . . . that's how I hide my porn.

Why would a pizza thief want to steal a computer?

Pepperoni Inside!

Boo - turning The Economist sideways to look at this month's fabulous fold-out spreadsheet might give it away!

For less money you can get a real pizza box, complete with pizza and stains delivered! Add your own foam padding.

28 days delivery for this item. At least they're trying to keep some authenticity. Remeber when it was free if it took more than 30 minutes?

Won't anyone wonder why you're typing on a pizza?

Yeah, that seems convincing. I know my pizza deliver person alway shows up in a suit & tie (to be a PC - a business suit and heels)when delivering my pizza. That won't look awkward at all.

"Each PowerPizza laptop disguise is handmade in London using genuine italian-style pizza boxes for maximum authenticity"

Get that people...GENUINE Italian-Style pizza boxes.

So what's so special about Italian-style pizza boxes as opposed to American-style pizza boxes?

An Italian style pizza box might contain actual Italian style pizza, which has little in common with American style pizza. However if it were an Italian style pizza box, wouldn't the printing be in Italian? (I don't remember seeing pizza boxes in Italy at all.)

Fact 1: Many laptop computers are used on college campuses
Fact 2: Many college students live on pizza

So don't use this disguise within a 3 mile radius of a college campus. Try a PooperScooper bag instead?

(Waxwing: or a textbook)

Now you can open a pizza box and find spam inside.

This is not good.

If you saw a pizza box sitting around, wouldn't you just throw it away? Or maybe put in the refrigerator and let it sit there for a couple weeks?

The "authentic Italian" pizza box would be a dead give away here on Cape Cod. Our local pizza places are generally owned by Greeks whose boxes are numbered as follows: "Pizza 1!!". This may mean pizza is highly regarded or this box contains the first pie in the history of the enterprise. After eating it, both make sense. In some rare local circumstances the places are owned by Swamp Yankees in whose..ahem..bistros you can get a clam pizza. Which makes about as much sense as a computer in a pizza box.

"Let's see, I'm finished my work. I'll just leave my computer here on a park bench in a pizza box while I go and get a drink . . . "

Does anyone think they have sold a single one of these?

I came here from search.

shemp - well, how was search?

Wouldn't a hefty bag full of dirty laundry make a better disguise for you laptop? It would be cheaper, and you could actually take it to the laundromat and work while your clothes are washing.

um....this is a fictional product. Are
we gullible? Go back and check out the other
'fictional products'...

chucke - guess so.

Please note, whether or not anything in any posted article is true or not is completely irrelevant to any the discussion on this blog, expect perhaps for what's his name's wife's ramparts.


"Does anyone think they have sold a single one of these?"

yes, mine arrived yesterday, 30 minutes late, and damaged on one corner, but well worth the investment.

chucke, i bet you were the kid at the 4th grade birthday party where the parents hired a magician who picked up one of the magician's tricks and showed all the other kids that his "magic" was fake.

magic is NOT fake!

take it back!

Ramparts ...

Is that like horns, and tails and little hooves?

No. Ramparts like . . . um . . . headlamps, ta-tas, bazoombas, mellons, etc.

Sounds like a funny looking ram.

correct. I was that kid, except it was 3rd grade.

And it was Santa, not a magician, and I could tell his beard was fake.

Chucke - do you have your own miserable pizza place, and is your last name Cheese?

...& I was just going to say 'Now I know what to get the boyfriend for his birthday! He loves pizza AND computers...it's perfect!' Then I put '& I was just going to say' in front of it.

Somebody fixed the clock?!?!
No! Really! LOOOOOK!!!

yeah...okay...and since when is Pizza Delivery a SAFE job? They get robbed more than taxi drivers!

It's true. Pizza Delivery guys have the second highest mortality rate for occupations. Sadly, I am one.

Kay - the clock is only "fixed" for those of us in the Eastern time zone. It might not have been wrong before - for all we know the server is in Kansas (or Calcutta).

If you steal the laptop in my pizza box, don't forget to leave a tip!

Maybe the Miami Herald is actually based out of Miami County, KS. They just want us to think they are in Florida. And it would explain why Dave makes fun of midwest towns so much...

Of course, it also could be that they ask to be made fun of.

pogo - no, I don't have a miserable pizza joint.
(and I suppose it is miserable. Never been there.)

Why attack a handle? Want me to change it? It'll
still be me.


What the does uness mean?

It's a variant of "Eunice," which of course is a name which, in Old English, meant "unicorn." As in, "John Kerry has Smurfed more than one uness."

Mille grazie, Signore Munger. Arrivederci!

What would THE NOID do if he is foiled by one of these?


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