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May 27, 2004

WORKING FOR YOU

New York is taking action.

(Thanks again to Mac)

Comments

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Worn Women's Underwear wbagnfarb.

Hey, there's a Barenaked Ladies...

Guys buy underwear in bulk in sealed packages. We don't have this problem.

"...because women care more about such issues more than men."

What'd they do, take a poll?

There are sooo many jokes I could make right here, but since they are juvenile and disgusting and would make a Navy SEAL blush, I won't tell them.

BTW -- It takes a LOT to make a SEAL blush...

I sent this in this morning LTTG, because I knew Dave would appreciate it.

Used Thongs wbagnfarb.

John, the article didn't mention all the idiotic details (the City Council definitely doesn't have enough of importance to do, like pass a budget): the way the law is written it would ban returning even UNOPENED packages of underwear. Huh?

Ewww!

Damn! Now where am I gonna get used panties?

Did I say that out loud?

Anyone else remember a link on this Blog some time ago about pervs in Japan who buy used girls' underwear from vending machines? I think we may have a way to correct that trade deficit, people! Let's get cracking!

MDSTFN: My feelings, exactly, although at least I didn't type it out loud. Boy, YOUR face must be red.

But seriously, various flea markets and sidewalk vendors are the next best source for all your (and I do mean YOUR) previously worn panties needs.

"We train our associates to inspect the merchandise upon return and if in salable condition, return it to the sales floor," she said. "Any items that are soiled ... are not returned to the floor."

People have to be TRAINED to see 'soiled merchandize? ok. i guess you have to define 'soiled' ... maybe they should just use that blue light thing that forensic guys use in all the crime shows - you know to check for 'biological material....'

EWWW anyway.

So much for my next Penguin thong purchase...

And so true ....
"Donald Halperin of the New York Metropolitan Retailers Association said the issue was mainly about women's undergarments because women care more about such issues more than men."

Besides, I make it a practice to stay away from the SALE undies bin. There's a reason they're reduced.

"When you talk about it people start to giggle as it is a tough subject to discuss."

my reaction exactly

U know, if this is happening in top stores such as saks and Macys, then what about the underwear where WE shop!?!?

Following afurrica's link there this memorable comment, "I support all measures that improve the health of New Yorkers," McMahon said.

I've one word, MOVE!

that's all

Reminds me of an Army joke:

"Men, I have good news and bad news. The good news is: Today, you all get a change of underwear! The bad news is: Mueller, you change with Schwartz, Mason, you change with..."

The Skidmark, North Dakota, National Guard

I'm glad this meritted legistlative action!

Acouple of years ago a coworker and I had to walk through the Sears lingerie department to get to Radio Shack. My coworker was carrying a clipboard. They were having a panty sale and had a huge table of panties right there in front of us. I picked one up, sniffed it, said "pass", he made a mark on the clipboard. We did this for about ten pairs and walked out. The looks on the salespeople's faces were priceless.

Steve, that must have been almost impossible to keep a straight face for that long. I'd have moistened my Munsingwear by the second pair!

Andygirl: The store salespeople of other 'low-class' stores must actually pre-wear the undergarments before putting it on sale.

At least in these places, you could imagine the clothes you're wearing were once soiled by some top executive or major CEO.

I think the 'Ewww' goes to the one that has to investigate and press charges.

But then I'm sure there's lots of us out there that would volunteer for the job.

Resume material?

Professional Pantie Sniffer

10 years experience

Saks, Macy's, NYC District Attorney's office

Looking for a position that I can really get my nose into.

Position desired: diesel fitter. "Yah, diesel fitter... you betcha..."

afurrica: "The reports, which aired in November and February..."

In other words, Sweeps Months! I guess they ran out of Killer Wires and Killer Manholes stories, so now it's Killer Panties. Incredible.

Steve, I'm surprised security didn't take an interest in your research.

Moral: Always use Woolite on your new panties before putting them on the kitten.

Whoy would you put panties on a......

OH.

I get it.

Whew, at least the crackdown doesn't affect sales of used socks. I love buying used socks. In New York especially.

Jeff: Back in High School a bunch of friends and I (drunk)decided to put on our band uniforms and go to the mall. We marched into the women's lingerie department of one of the stores there and played our fight song. No-one reacted, so we played another, and another. The only reaction we got was vague smiles from passers-by, so we left. Very surreal.

Sorry that post should have been addresses to Steve. Late night last night.

My sister once found a pair of underwear on a rack at Victoria Secret that had a bloodstain on them for cryin' out loud. Clearly some employees DO need to be trained to look for "soiled merchandise". I'm not sure which person was worse, the woman who tried them on, or the person who put them back on the rack like that. Ick.

It does stand to reason that women buy dresses for an event and return them the day after when they don't need it anymore. Why not return the entire ensemble.

Skoo51: Ick is right. And let me add, Ick!

Graz, good point. My sister in law does that (with "event" dresses) all the time.

Rita, my brother was another who loved to "go commando" until he started (ahem) drooping too much and was told to get some underwear. (And of course he had the need to share that with me, so now I can pass it on to you.)

This guy still might be able to sell these on ebay

What's the return policy on
these , I wonder?

Been to London
Been to France.
I nicked Cameron's underpants!

Okay, I screwed up the link, there. But, believe me, it's worth the effort to cut and paste in the url.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63862&item=4152523076&rd=1

MKJ: Another great celebrity-related job. So far we have:

1. J.Lo's Nipple Tweaker
2. Russell Crowe's (Human) Cigarette Holder
and
3. Cameron Diaz's Panty Protector (so to speak)

4. Janet's Tit-Tazzler shiner and cleaner.

This is the most Japanese thing I've ever heard, and it's not even from Germany.

Everything sounds more delightfull in Britishian:
Panties, eh - Knickers, yum
Slut, ick - Tart, Mm tangy
I thought I could think of more examples than that.

I like how the Fur Boxers on ebay have a Layaway Plan - wish my undies were that organized.

". . . the issue was mainly about women's undergarments because women care more about such issues more than men."

Dave USED to write so many articles about broad, irresponsible generalizations on the differences between men and women. Yet I've NEVER seen an article in his columns about THIS ISSUE.

Hopefully, he will make up for this by incorporating it into the movie.

P.S. affurica: You shoulda saved that "Scourge of Skeevy Skivvies" for one of Dave's "A Good Name for a Rock Band Would Be . . ." blogs.

Rita, one ex? What's the current tally?

We looking for volunteers for Cameron Diaz's Panty Protector.

I love how that article called it her "smalls drawer." Sounds so much better than 'undies' or 'panties' or the even-more-plebian 'underpants.'

Of course the word 'lingerie' has a touch of class to it...

Diaz, [...]was furious when a male crew member was caught leaving her trailer with a pair of her knickers in his pocket, following a spate of thefts from her smalls drawer

Don't you just hate it when spates of theft happen in your smalls drawer?

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