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May 26, 2004

UH-OH

Sir, did you have a permit when you ... ummm.... wait... never mind. No one can prove a thing.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

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Another well written article that may, or may not have happened brought to you by Ananova, which is Russian for "No Clue".

Of course, in the US, wielding a potato gun is a federally protected right. How else are you to stop the King 'o Eng-ga-land from muscling into your home and bossing you around?

And I'll never forget the time a robber broke into my home. Good thing I had that sack of 'taters handy...

I wonder if potato gun is allowed under the Atkins diet...

No way, anything to do with potatos is taboo in Atkins World. Unless they're fake potato chips that are made exclusively from protein and fat with no actual potato content.

Under the Atkin's diet, it's ok to have a big honkin steak as long as you don't have any potatoes or bread with it.

What happened to the days when, if you didn't want to get fat, you stopped eating... fat?

er... carry on.

I must point out that the name Illegal Potato Guns would be a good name for a rock band...

The beauty of American law is that honest citizens can own and defend themselves with real firearms, meaning weapons that use GUNPOWDER to fire a projectile. (You can't fire a potato with gunpowder...TRUST ME ON THIS...)

Federal penalties for a potato gun is just stupid.

If you outlaw potatoes then only the outlaws will have potatoes. PMDs Potatoes of Mass Destruction

Cheese_ball, some dude got busted for possession of a fire arm near where I live (Ann Arbor, MI) even thoug it was just a wussy air pistol.

My first attempt at linking, and it worked!
I'm soooo proud!

You know, if I really went and examined those arms rights and the history of such, I could probably find something in it that classifies potato guns as firearms, and protects them. Why protect yourself with a potato gun, though, when you can have a 'tater tazer?

"You can't fire a potato with gunpowder...TRUST ME ON THIS..."

That sounds to me like a wager...

Oh, and 'Gunpowder Atkins and the Potato Cannons' wbagnfarb

Way to go Steven; as a recently de-virginized linker myself I congratulate you.

See? I *TOLD* you Carbs were dangerous, but would you listen? NoooOOoo.

Guns 'n Taters = gnfarb.

Remember the olden days when, in order to lose weight, people ate less and exercised?

Thanks, djtonyb for the merit pin.

And Jeff, it sounds like you had more fun linking than I did ;)

Maybe these guys had just seen the Austrian Veggie Orchestra and wanted to get rid of the Taters before they were turned into veggie and spit stew?

bangi, jacket potatoes! woohoo :)

If the vegetable orchestra ever plays the 1812 Overture, we got their cannon right here!

Bangi, I wish I never heard of it, but people never shut up about it. Atkins is a fad diet fad made popular by how most of these stupid things get embraced: it tells you your fat tush can eat the very things it loves, never exercise, and get the body you want--and fast too!

In the case of Atkins, you can snork all the meat and fat you want, and this will make you lose weight. You just aren't allowed any of the other food groups. Of course, this is the kind of diet loved by those who pretty much need to be reminded there ARE other food groups. Also by those who will try anything--absolutely anything--rather than have to move around and eat less.

I dunno about snorking anything you want...but the atkins diet does increase your risk for damage to your heart, kidneys, and liver.

True, but you're snorking down so much heart and liver that it all comes back, right?

Wasn't condeming, just saying. And just when I didn't think you could get any sexier, that diet's really workin for ya. ;)

I keep meaning to try Atkins- I've got 15 to 20 I'd like to lose- but I can't give up my muffins for breakfast.

Hands out bubbling glasses of green liquid to the dieters in the room.

Here is a little something I cooked up. All my lab rats lost 1/2 their body weight in a day. you can eat anything at all you want and never exercise. All you have to do is drink this one cup and keep it down. Oh and kindly send $99.99 to the below address.

Hey, didn't Dave write a column all about a potato gun he fired off the top of a building? And something about shooting a Barbie doll out of it?

I eat everything and anything. But, I also have a high metabolism which is probably due to the fact that I run regularly.

But, I think I like Bangi's diet plan way better.

"But, honey, you don't want me to go off my diet do you? Bangi's diet says we have to do it 5 times a day."

Maybe if we can get these people to divide into two groups, one that says "potayto gun" and one that says "potahto gun" they'll call the whole thing off.

Back to my campaign against reason, facts, and cogent arguments: How many times are we going to be told that (fill in the blank) is the worst possible thing to eat, that eating it will give you cancer, brain rot, turn your children into zombies and destroy the rain forest only to be told ten years later; "oops, never mind" (e.g. red meat, salt, coffee, sugar, carbs, etc. etc. blah blah blah) before we realize that the scientific community (or at least the media that tells us sbout it) has no flippin idea what it's talking about. Eat what you like. Drink what you like. Smoke what you like. If it makes you sick, stop it. Life is too short to go round worrying about your love-handles.

Having said that, djtonyb, I like your common-sense approach.

I promise to return to complete silliness in my next post.

DjT-that's why I could never do atkins. I heart my bread and rice and potatoes a lil too much. :)

DjT-that's why I could never do atkins. I heart my bread and rice and potatoes a lil too much. :)

double post is so not my fault! I got an error message and clicked refresh and it posted it twice.

Ahhhh...I got it know DjT.

I just had cherrycheese cake this afternoon after a big bowl of Mac and cheese. How much will that require to burn off.

Ladies, I may need some help here!

Uh, I guess this would be a bad time to point to my daily blog ranting on followers of the Atkins diet. Oh, well...here goes the part that won't freak anyone out:

The best diet in the world: "eat less, exercise more."

'nuff said on that.

Now for that tater gun -- when tater guns are outlawed...

Bangi - please put me on your list of diet subscribers immediately!

My post from this afternoon seems to gave gone AWOL. I am definitely up for the Bangi diet.

Actually, I've lost 25 pounds on South Beach, a somewhat related but less extreme relative of Atkins designed by a cardiologist for his patients to get healthy; weight loss was just a happy side effect.

You only give up carbs for the first two weeks, during which you lose 8-13 pounds (most from the stomach area), and after that eat the right carbs (like multi-grain breads) in moderation, along with proteins, salads, fresh fruit (rather than orange juice), etc. My cholesterol dropped nearly 100 points and my blood pressure is way down as well, and even though I've backslid quite a bit in recent weeks (I've been doing this for over 6 months) I've only gained back a couple of pounds. I hate "exercise" as such but walk a lot, including six flights of stairs to the apartment at least once a day.

End of commercial.


My husband has shot a potato gun before and thought it was pretty cool.

He owns an Auto Parts store and one of his customers came into the store with one. Then one of the guys standing around looking at the PVC pipe, the high-octane hairspray and the lighter mechanism, pronounced that it wouldn't work.

Well you don't disparage another man's homemade weapon without a challenge. Everyone went out into the parking lot and the gunowner shot at a billboard to show how far it would shoot.

Mr. Skeptical, however was not impressed by how it mashed a potato on a Pizza Hut sign. He said the only good gun was a gun that could bring down a large animal.

As the parking lot was unhelpfully free of deer, moose or elk, he suggested himself as target, just to prove that this stupid contraption had no real power. Or that HE was stupid, take your pick.

He wanted to stand closer, but the gunowner, in a fit of responsiblity, made him move about 50 yards away.

The potato nailed Mr. Skeptical in the chest so hard that not only did it drop him like a rock, but he wet himself as well, causing great hilarity amongst the spectators.

I asked my husband if they guy had been hurt. He said he didn't think so. He said everyone was laughing so hard they didn't even think to check. But, after a while the guy crawled off to his pick-up and drove off, convinced, no doubt, of the power of potatoes.

So, if potatoes pack that much of a whollop, perhaps Dr. Atkins is right, maybe they are from the devil.

That was a great story, Lily.

I love it when know-it-alls get their come-uppance.

Plus he wet his pants....bet you if you checked, he probably made some hash-browns in his trousers, also.........

Wow, that's a lot of hyphens in that last comment I made..........

Sorry, I'm not all together with it today......

I like the makin luv diet. Where do I sign up?

Lily, that is great! Maybe your husband could get his buddy to let one of us shoot 25 roman candles at him. He can even wear a protective helmet.

No no, it's potatoe gun. Get it rite.

We had a lot of potatoe guns where I grew up. It's rural America. It's where I came from. We always refer to ourselves as real America. Rural America, real America, real, real, America.

Isn't this the official state weapon of Idaho?

Or, if you're "Dan Quayle", Idahoe.

I LOVED this so much that I am starting today at lunch:

A great way to lose weight is to make luv,making luv uses up things called calories which was what God put into food after the whole Eden incident.

Bangi's Diet...Bang ur way into the figure u want!!

Oh I love Bangi's diet. Hubby is working two jobs though so I guess that I can only diet on his days off, about one day per week! :o)
How will this work Bangi? Can I save up my carbs, and burn them all in one day? Or will I have to give up carbs, or limit them to his abilities on the days he goes to both jobs?

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