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May 16, 2004


Some of you may recognize this topic.


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me first?
hey, what is MOAT?

I was wondering when Dave would would write about the line manners after our big discussion here regarding it.

Good job, Dave.

And the MOAT is the Mother Of All Threads.

...which is currently closed for repairs.

Rule 0

Look at the little silver thing on the side of the water closet in a public restroom. When you're done with your busdiness, push the handle down and listen to the sounds of a waterfall while you wash your hands. No exemptions -- not even for Halle!

Durn! Sooner or later I will have to lern to tipe!

Durn! Sooner or later I will have to lern to tipe!

Excuse me, I'm first! I'm always first.

Judi...I experienced "the hover" for the first time when I went into a bar restroom with my wife earlier this year.

I almost fell on the floor laughing, but..well, you don't want to go falling on the floor in a public restroom, do you?

Very well done, Dave Barry. Now, if only every arsehole out there for whom the column was written found out the column was actually written precisely about THEM (no looking over their shoulders), and it somehow got them to change their sub-human, animalistic ways, then progress would truly be attained.

Somewhere the list should prohibit a customer who waits in the "10 items or less" checkout line until the total shows on the cash register before they even begin to rummage through their purse to find their check book.

Yes, Mr. Grammar Person "fewer" is correct. What'll we do?

I for one am tired of Halle Berry getting all the goodies and exceptions. Just because she looks good in a partial cat-suit doesn't make her any better than any of the rest of us.


Foot-stomp tirade ends.


ibid, being a frequenter of the 10 items or less line (appropriately) I wouldn't mind if you and Mr. Grammar Person were to boycott the line for it's incorrect sign...might make things go faster for me ;-)

And, Yes, I do agree with you on the checkbook thing. Straka on FOX news website has a column about GRRRs and Oblivions. Seems it would fit right in with Dave's column!

LOVED the "Rules" column. If only rude people were intelligent enough to read, comprehend and respond accordingly.

Judi, when I showed the column to my wife I could almost see a little lightbulb go off. "So THAT'S why the seat in the ladies' room is always wet!" It annoys me when guys don't flush -- I have an urge (which I control) to rush after them and ask them if they leave a bowlful of urine (wbagnfarb? Naah) at home after they finish, but then some of them probably do. Nice (well, not nice, but you know what I mean) to know that women can be as insensitive.

ibid and eadn: I've made an informal study of it, and I believe it is a real man/woman thing. Most of the people who wait for the total to come up on the cash register (and NOT only on the 10 item line) before looking for their wallet, checkbook, credit card, or pen are women. I find that guys (for all our other faults) tend to have the money ready. Partly, of course, it's because women carry around those four foot square thirty pound bags that are nearly impossible to find things in, while guys have the cash in their front pocket or their wallet near at hand. But I always feel like saying (again, I control it), "Lady, come on, you knew this moment would arrive when you'd have to PAY for the groceries, right? Get your head out of the clouds (or somewhere else) and get out your wallet, fer cryin' out loud!"

Jeff, "informal study" says it all. I got a thing about picking the fastest line and usually do pretty good. So many variables and so much wasted time!


Damn! I thought I had that one securely in a nutshell! ;-)


jeff, that is categorically UNtrue :) (that it's usually women who don't have their money ready)... although with men, i think it's more to do with age, at least down here.

Jeff, judi, I agree with both of you. (them variables cracking the nutshell :-) Just figured I'd wait for the other half to chime in! ;-)

Sorry Judi, but I'm going to agree with Jeff on this one. The person that holds up an express line is a woman 80% - 90% of the time.

(And remember, 95% of statistics are made up on the spot.)

My dear friend EDAN,

Mr. Meyerson, Mr.Grammar Person, and I want want to get into through the checkout line as quickly as possible, as I'm sure you do. Mr. Meyerson is correct, it is a man/woman thing. Women, it seems want to shop, while men want (like the albatrosses we are) want to fly through a store, grab what we need and get out as soon as possible. But to wait while the dear grandma in front of me finds her purse, writes the check, finds her ID, gives it all to the cashier, and then has to put all of that stuff back into her rucksack WHILE MY BEER IS GETTING WARM!...I'll take a deep breath here.

Edan, I'd go to the other line to get out of your way, but someone elses dear grandma would be in that lane, too.

tree: they crouch over the seat and let things fall where they may. of course, they could put UP the seat -- using toilet paper to touch the seat of course -- but that would involve being considerate of other people. the thing that is most irritating about it is that they use the handicapped stall, so they don't have to squat so far down! forget it if you're a person in a wheelchair; your toilet is grunge-covered and you just have to sit on it, unless you feel like cleaning it first. how lovely!

Pine-cone Head: As a relatively experienced guy (or so I thought), I'm struggling with the dynamics of "experiencing a hover"-- particularly "for the FIRST time."

Can I assume that this was like the first time in the history of mankind, or am I just really naive?

Now I know how that thing works. Public restrooms are a dilema. Should I just go in my pants or should I touch the door handle and plow forward? I keep alcohol wipes handy. In Japan, the entire airport uses urine fragarance as a 'hospitility' gresture to arriving guests to their country. Nothing like torried heat and the smell of urine to emphasise a country. The Japanese 'hover' but to no avail.

ibid, you have hit all the nail's right on the head for "guyness", no disagreement from me! :-)

Howsoever, per judi's comment, it has been my equally frequent experience to be delayed behind some old guy who can no longer count, needs prompting for every little act, then fumbles with "all this new-fangled technology" as he reaches for his diamond-platinum-titanium credit card to pay for his substantially more than 10 items!

P.S. it's "eadn" if you would, please. Thanks!

"Hovering" is payback for two second foreplay? Now I'm really confused.

One of this world's minor problems would be solved if Dave could provide us bloglets with a link to his column that didn't require tedious, repetitive registration. What think you, Master Blogger?

lonewolf: I was referring to "the hover" as in hovering over the toilet. You might be thinking about "a hoover", but I may be confused because it have been a very, very, very, very long time since I have "seen" one of those.

meant to say:

"because as A MARRIED GUY, it have been a very, very, very, very long time since I have "seen" one of those.

etc.: you'll have to find those links yourself. we work for the herald. sorry. we don't love registration ourselves (and i for one see very little point in it, since i have yet to meet a person that didn't lie) but there you have it.

Well, THAT'S cleared up. Lessee . . . after two marriages and a few "relationships," I've experienced probably a dozen Hoovers and zero hovers. I need to get out more. Or maybe not.

Judi..I didn't lie. Would you like to meet me?
(I'll have to ask my wife first.)

I prefer "Edan" to eadn, so let's just go along with Dave and have it my way, okay? Of course it's okay. By the way: what's a "cash register?"

Oh, I get it. I thought you were talking about vacuum cleaners--I really AM naive. Make that zero hovers and zero hoovers.

I guess if your last name is a homonym of "Barry" you can get away with anything, Halle.

Stash Bury

judi, I didn't lie either and you can prove it! ;-)

Helle Betty, got the point? :-)

Graz, thanks for the definition.
As for the hoverers out there, I was thinking of copying and laminating that part of the column and taping it to the inside of the stall doors. And for register lines...cash? Instead of an ATM card? How...primitive...PIN and Enter, I'm done.

I'm a big fan of layering toilet paper on the toilet seat before I sit down ... I feel no need to get a work out by squatting when I use a public bathroom if I don't have to ... and FYI ... Word on the street is that the first stall in any woman's bathroom is always the cleanest ... that being true, I still layer an entire roll of TP on the seat anyway. And for those conservationists out there ... I then go and plant a tree immediately after. So don't start sending me hate mail ...

Bangi gurl dear, you are normally hilarious, but today you're simply on a roll. I just thought that was as funny as funny gets.

My Dear Friend "eadn",

I apologize for my dyslexia.

What surprises me is that you called me "some old guy who can no longer count, needs prompting for every little act, then fumbles with "all this new-fangled technology"". Obviously I've been in front of you a checkout line sometime before. Now I have to worry about an incipient case of early onset old-timers disease. If I had been paying attention I'm certain that I'd have remembered you.

Yea Judi!

The toilet messes are my BIGGEST pet peeve....So much so that I have adopted a little rule of thumb I offer to women who openly admit to being hoverers: If you feel so strongly about the cleanliness of an establishment's restrooms then choose different types of establishments.

Seriously ladies, if you think even a toilet paper fort won't protect you it's time to stop hanging out in dives.

etc. Go to the Miami Herald site and use:

password: miamivice

In general, go to bugmenot.com for passwords to use to avoid registering yourself.

Judi, I defer (of course) to your superior knowledge of the South Florida man v. woman scene, but up north (at least in Brooklyn) I stand by what I said. Perhaps we need to do a regional or state by state survey.

Incidentally, I do feel guilty at my frustration (which I hide) when I'm stuck on line behind some older person who is having trouble getting it together. Someday -- I hope -- I will be there myself and be annoying people myself. But when I do it will because I've slowed down due to age and NOT because I don't have my wallet handy.

And since I don't think I expressed what I meant clearly before -- always realizing this may provoke the wrath of Judi -- most of the people I was talking about who aren't ready to pay are NOT elderly, just women. I expect older people to be slow and I'm usually more than patient behind them. It's the younger woman who can manage to shop and put her groceries on the conveyor belt without losing the thread of her cell phone conversation ("I bought no carb bread, an orange, no carb water and a gallon of super-premium ice cream")but who can't manage to get her purse out that my ire was directed towards.

Thank you for your support.

Amen, Sadie.

ibid, Thanks for the spell-check. :-)

Indeed, I don't even know you, your age, nor your deftness of capability at the check-out line, let alone was I making a direct reference to yourself.

If it helps, my first post to you was intended to be a back-handed PC answer to your question, "Yes, Mr. Grammar Person "fewer" is correct. What'll we do?" and intended to be humorous.

As I said before, getting through the quickest check-out line has many variables. Age and sex are not necessarily factors in every instance.


I remember hearing in the past that toilet seats really aren't all that filthy. Except, of course, for all the urine. Sometimes I hate being female. Thanks for #10, Judi! You rock!

I am going to just come out and say something that may surprise and shock you:

Halle Berry is not all that hot, nor is she a fantastic actor.

I am a straight male here, and while Mrs. Berry is definately attractive, she is not the knockout everyone seems to think she is. I have seen some of the movies she is in, and I was completely underwhelmed by both her appearance and performance.

Now I suppose that this could just be me here. And again, she is most certainly attractive. As for the acting, I don't think she is all that good. It always seems to me like she is going "Hey, look at me! I'm acting!"

In all the movies I've seen her in, it seems like she is playing the same character.

Anyone else?

P.S. for registration, (at almost all news sites) try the good old cypherpunk/cypherpunk login. At the herald, use email cypherpunk@cypherpunk.com and pass cypherpunk. This also works at nytimes.com.

My dear friend Eadn,

Hey. I thought that my last reply was a pretty good little joke responding to you post.

I AM "some old guy who can no longer count, needs prompting for every little act, then fumbles with "all this new-fangled technology".

No harm. No foul. And it has been fun typing at you. Thanks.

Preach it Dave!! And people who are in express lanes SHOULD be prepared to pay before the total comes up. People over 60 shouldn't have checks because it takes them too damn long to write them. MEH!

And in my personal opinion, Halle Berry's not all that, in fact I'm almost certain she's a bitch. :)

Hovering? Why hover when seat covers are usually available?

JMHO. . .


p.s. . . .

Hi, Judi!!


WHOA! MeL's kickin' ass and takin' names! Go MeL! Rack them points up on the scoreboard! :-)

Oh, waitaminute. Am I one of them points? ;-)

The big issue I got with public restrooms also involves cell phones...to wit, people talking on them whilst leaving DNA samples in the collection devices...I mean, think about the person on the other end of that conversation...how much respect and dignity could he/she feel while you grunt and groan and make sounds like you're trying to hand vrank a '63 Lawn Boy with a flooded carbouretor AND dropping cement blocks into a pond ? How important can that conversation be...morons...

Oh yeah...

Dang...forgot part of that...*high fives Judi's honorable mention for the machine gun*

Yucky pee-pee on the seats is a problem not confined to women. I have a three-year old daughter who I take into the men's room. (The first few times I tried to use the women's room did not go over well.)

Every freakin time, I have to practically wallpaper the seat with toilet paper because it's so nasty. This makes no sense to me as 1) no self-respecting man EVER uses the stall -- even if this results in an impacted colon and 2) if you are using the stall, aren't you sitting and aiming Little Elvis down? I have surmised that the problem comes from urinal-avoiders who also can't lift a seat. I do enjoy my daughter loudly proclaiming, "Daddy, there's yucky pee-pee all over the seat! Somebody made a BIG mess." I always hope the dirtbag is at the sink feeling mortified.

Halle Berry used to be married to David Justice when he played baseball here in Atlanta. Once the marriage started to sour, the stories of Dave bad-mouthing Halle became legendary. I have it on good authority that 1) she looks really, really, really bad in the morning and 2) her breath smells like a cat's butt.

Took the magic out of the fantasy for me.

Another man vs woman thing at the checkout line. A guy will pay with bills, take his change in hand, and with his groceries in the cart, will move forward out of the way while he puts his change away and puts the bills in his wallet. A woman will shut down the line while she goes through her change purse to get rid of as many pennies as possible. Then, after the transaction is complete, she keeps the line shut down while she puts her stuff back in her purse.

Can't we, in theory, just insert any hot celebrity into the spot that says Halle Berry? For instance Heather Locklear or Eliza Dushku?

I think that column was perfect. I, for one, think that that there should be a legal obligation to post that column everywhere that is relevant, such as the homes of the people the column is talking about.

Of course, I'd like to add some more rules - being a cyclist, I'd like the punishment for tossing a glass bottle out of your moving vehicle (causing it to shatter, causing me to get a flat tire, causing me to sit there in the rain with a patch kit) to be having to pick up the shards of glass barefoot.

I'd also like anyone who is caught tossing a cigarette butt on the ground and LEAVING IT there to be forced to walk along just one mile of any highway, eating every butt they find. Yes, it's a really little thing, but with so many smokers out there doing it, it's amazing how many of those really little things are out there.

I mentioned that last one to a smoker friend, who said "Well, you're not always near an ashtray or a garbage can, and who wants to walk around with a pocket full of stinky butts?" You don't want to? Fine. Don't light it if you don't want to take care of it. I think it's common kindergarten learning - clean up after yourself.

I could go on about more rules and punishments - But I don't want to hog the comments section here. I'd love to see some other ideas for rules though.

And just as a post-script - I KNEW this would turn into a guys vs gals thing, although I thought it would be all about peeing on the seat, or putting the seat back down.

Eadn, when things annoy me I tend to go off. As of late, I haven't really gone off on anyone. :)

Have you seen Heather lately? Or even in the last 15 years? She might have been sort of hot in her T.J Hooker days, but about 15 seconds later she assumed the look of a dazed crackho with an exceptionally bad bleached rat nest somewhere around her head.

And Alyson Hannigan is so much hotter Duckshoe. As is Emma Caulfield.

Oh, and having had jobs, really horrible clearly torture I wish I could forget them but no I'm scared for life jobs, where I had to clean washrooms, I can say with total authority:

Gals that hover are a-ok (Gals of any sort that spatter and leave it should have their noses rubbed in it). I can sympathise with hovers. When I was in uni, someone thought it was very funny to chemically treat the toilet seats AND the TP--and several people got third degree burns. I think we all made a lifestyle change.

Anyway, the gal washrooms may be swarms of bacteria, but they always look far less scary than the mens. I can conclusively say that gals at least try to aim for the toilet; guys will pee wherever they happen to be. I wish I could scrub from my mind the number of times I had to clean the walls, the floor, even OUTSIDE the washroom.


Bottomline, some people should not be allowed to leave home without supervision...

Garret, I've known guys who only use the stalls -- my wife has speculated about their sexuality but that was in a bad mood -- and I always assume it's because they're either embarrassed some other guy will get a look at their equipment or (a real problem for some) they have a tough time going when surrounded by other guys. If it's the latter problem guys -- and you know who you are -- I suggest doing the multiplication tables in your head. While your mind is distracted, voila! If it's the former, get over it dude. Who cares what someone else thinks? I only use the stall when there's a long line and that's the first thing that becomes available.

And Garret, right on to your daughter! I hope she has embarrassed some lame brain idiots. I mean, if you're too lazy or inconsiderate to lift the damn seat you SHOULD be embarrassed by a 3 year old.

On the Halle Berry issue, let's not go overboard. The woman is good looking, period. I do agree with those (Some Guy) who aren't impressed with her acting. She won an Oscar for showing her boobs and getting it on with Billy Bob? Well, the latter was worth a fumigation maybe, but not an Oscar. And even you fans out there have to admit: she is sure a total loser when it comes to picking men. She and Whitney should start a support group.

Hey Garret..don't be talking about me like I'm not here!

Judi: You've met me.

...and I thought I was the only straight male who doesn't find Halle Berry that attractive... (I'd say 6/10)

Also, I would like to point out that urine is actually pretty sterile -- supposedly it's got fewer bacteria than your saliva. This may not decrease the grode factor at all, but I have no problem taking a wad of toilet paper and drying the seat off before I sit down.

Besides, it's what you can't see that'll kill ya!

My Dear Stash, Dearest Halle and Mr. Dave,

Can I join the homonymic "Barry" club and do whatever I want? I don't want to grow up, I don't want to go to school. I do believe in fairies, in fact, I am one.
I always read the signs in the British loo: "Gentlemen Lift Seats." I now have lifted over 600 and have had to lease a storage shed for my collection.

I read in this blog about the original incident that prompted this column. For a Pultizer-winning journalist, it's rather passive-aggressive and lame to whine about people's rudeness in print without confronting them when the offense takes place. There are journalists who will never get a Pulitzer risking their asses in the world's hotspots, and all Dave can do is clam up, sulk, and write a whiny column when someone butts in line? What a candyass. Give your Pulitzer to somebody with balls.

...because one of the main criteria for the Pulitzer award is balls.

I wanted to point out to the fabricated statistician that perhaps the greater percentage of late-to-realize-I-have-to-pay persons are women is that women do MOST of the shopping. I'm just sayin'

Hey, Bismuth! If you end up in Germany, check out the toilets in... where ya' goin'... Stuttgart? They have these, like, shelves instead of a ceramic funnel. I asked why when I was there and they told me that the Germans like to examine their poop before they flush. (Urk) Y'know, check for things and they're very health-oriented. They don't suffer from the "wet-seat" syndrome like we do in the US because they examine everything! Their biggest problem is vandals scratching the "Da" off of the "Damen" signs so that Americans walk right into the ladies' room seeing the "men" sign.

Bangi: Some men think of foreplay along the same lines as working up an appetite before having dinner.

Makes the meal all that much better.

Virginia: I agree, they should make "ass gaskets" a law for public restrooms.

Last night I was in line at a store, and I was going to use one of those new fangled self-serve check outs. The small elderly lady in front of me was buying 3 bananas, and a dozen eggs. She scanned the eggs okay, but those darn bananas wouldn't scan. After a couple swipes across the scanner, I stopped her and entered the code for the bananas into the screen. She did spend about 3 minutes looking for the 7 cents that she needed for the $1.07 that it cost her. Ya just gotta give them a bit more time is all.

If it had been someone 20 years younger, I probably would have come unglued. But you'll have that sometimes.

Mr. Crapweasel, if you actually interpreted the origin for Dave's column, then you would also realize and remember that he was trying to spend quality time with his wife and child. Not seek fame, notoriety, nor disturb the socially responsible "flow" of the people around him.

As for "journalists who will never get a Pulitzer risking their asses in the world's hotspots", I am usually quite appalled that they did not "pick up a weapon and stand a post"! Photograph, write, stir up their readers, YES! BUT help defend our country's warriors on the ground, NO!

Please remember to flush now that you're done. Twice!

loboll, women definitely buy more of the groceries, but when we guys buy stuff, we have to go through the checkout line three times because every time we get in the parking lot, we remember something we needed, but didn't buy. Thus, men go through the checkout line as many times as women.

I don't normally say this either, but "lol" to eadn.

Hey Graz, I'm planning to watch The Matrix again tonight on "edited for television, to run in the time alloted" (and to pack as many commercials as possible!)

I got a preliminary answer as to why ya didn't take the blue pill, but I gotta see if I can wade through the philosophy again ;-)

P.S. You get "good guy" points for helping the lady! Since I was born with a bad knee and now *cough* middle age has added more slowness to my being, all I really look for in anybody is if they're aware, happening, and keeping it moving! :-)

Punky, you just go on and knock yourself out with using as much TP as you desire hon...I love job security...*winks*

Stash, thanks for sharing that. It's been years since we were in Germany and I'd very successfully put that out of my mind until you had the need to shove it back in there. Gracias. And Poop Examiners wouldn't even bagnfarb. Yuck.

Yeah, I've been there (Germany) before. I think the toilets are like that not so the Germans can examine their poop, but so they can allow the poop to examine the Germans...

Actually the design makes the toilet more efficient without having to resort to the dreaded "low-flow" tom-foolery...

P.S. Off-topic: Big "" Mur, you have and have had my respect from the beginning. I just hope Punky doesn't get her bullet-deflecting bracelets up against you! ;-)

I think home girl's all up in bein' down wit it...

heh heh, but Big "" Mur, what if she lassoes it? ;-)

I'll defend myself with a comment about her shorts or something...no worries mate...

Hmmm, Punky in something camel-toe.... :-)

Big "" Mur, ya just might have a point there! ;-)

doug: i've met you? in real life? where?!

whoever said women should be ready to pay, in the express lane: everyone should be ready to pay in ANY lane. why do they wait til they're done checking out before they get out their (method of payment)???

jeff? i think: i'm not pissed that you think it's mostly women who do it. it probably is. and it's just as annoying to the women who don't do it! it's not a gender thing (when it's not an age thing): it's an idiot thing.

judi, I've been with you from my post one! Them variables that keep breaking the nutshell! :-)

The only bad part is as "some guy from oregon" said and he was SURE it would break into a sexist thing. Me, no matter, 'scuse me, but in the check-out line, I don't care what you have at the front end, it's the flagrancy of asshole that matters! ;-)

Ix-nay on the amel-cay oe-tay!

I prefer to keep ALL my toes covered ... thank you very little.

Eadn - My point exactly. I was trying to say (and failed to actually say anything) that I keep seeing "guys are insensitive" or "gals are thoughtless," when it's really not a gender thing. Some people are insensitive and thoughtless, male and female alike. I think we're gonna have to just ban human beings from public restrooms and checkout lanes.

Certainly, Judi! Don't you remember the time when you were driving that red '02 Ferrari near my house with the top off and simultaneously eating a corndog, not that I was necessarily turned on by either act? Wait, maybe that wasn't you after all. You don't have a beard, do you? I think... eeyeah, that was Hulk Hogan. Never mind.

Wait, how about the time, back in '93(?), at Madison Square Garden(?), when you, again topless, beat Bret "The Hit Man" Hart to become the WWF Heavyweight Champion of the World(?)? Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, hold on, that wasn't you either, was it. That too was Hulk Hogan. My bad.

Well what about--surely you remember--that time we got freaky in the steam room at 24-Hour Fitness, hm? Oh, alright! Fine, Judi, I admit that I've never technically met you "in person," technically, if you want to be all technical. But MAN, what is WRONG with me? Why do I keep confusing you with Hulk Hogan? You two don't look ANYTHING alike! You really don't!

*crashes through window on the back of punky and bangi_gurl, carrying case of Jose Cuervo.*

Here ya go Judi, you'll need some of this. Also, Doug should calm down with a little Ritalin and some "Family Guy".

*cranks up "The Road to Rhode Island" on DVD player*

Hey Judi...

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

Ladies, next time, put the seat up when you're done huh ?

"Da Boom" is so freakin' hilarious. I actually went and bought a DVD player just to be able to watch the Family Guy discs, which don't play on my computer DVD player due to sly antipiracy precautions taken by Fox.

MOAT's down again? Long live the BLOAT?

MISTER Crapweasle (IF that's your real name) Blogs are seldom "contestant material" for Pulitzer Prizes. And IF you read the lead-in to the his colume, Dave's Pulitzer was for "commentary" and not battle field reporting. Therefore your "Give your Pulitzer to somebody with balls." is way off base - unless you suggest one of those battle field reporters are doing humorous commentary better than Dave..... and I fail to find anything humours on battle fields from which to make humours comments. Irony - maybe. Humor about death - sick.

I agree with Eadn, "Please remember to flush now that you're done. Twice!" And I'm sure Dave can point you to the proper low flow toilet. Why? Because he has the balls to "talk about the issues" including the Canadian toilet bowl invasion. I don't hear THAT coming from the battle field reporters.......

Dave for Pres!

*steps off beer crate*

There's a catagory for war reporting Pulitzers and I'm sure a deserving individual gets one.

I am making copies of this article and giving them to all my kids' band director, choir director, dance studio owner, ANYONE who needs this vital information.

Thanks for an EXCELLENT JOB, Dave (and judi)!

You are absolutely right.Dave,you are such a good writer.
I think ,Especially the stores in Aventura got all sort of examples of actions people take to cut lines .Why do you think so?
But We still think Miami is the best place to live and work inspite of some rude people

You are absolutely right.Dave,you are such a good writer.
I think ,Especially the stores in Aventura got all sort of examples of actions people take to cut lines .Why do you think so?
But We still think Miami is the best place to live and work inspite of some rude people

(This rule was suggested by our Research Department, Judi Smith, who one day will open fire with a machine gun in a public restroom:) If you're a woman using a toilet, and, because you are dainty and fastidious...

I believe that this article is the first usage that I have ever seen of a colon followed by a parenthesis that was not meant to portrait an emotion. Or maybe it was meant as an emoticon, symbolizing the maniacal grin on Judi's face while she opens fire...

Mike M,
'bout fell off the chair at your observation, although it is possibly a first for me, also.

Judi, I know, I was just funnin'. I also realize both sexes do it. It's actually fun to see guys who are not too accustomed to shopping with that "deer in the headlights" look as they try to navigate the supermarket aisles, much as it is to see those who are obvious first-timers at doing the laundry. In both cases, I'm happy to show them the ropes, and keep my chuckles to myself.

Back to a different part of the thread: my wife and I were having brunch out this morning before I dropped her at the airport, and there was a young woman sitting alone in the restaurant who was carrying on a VERY loud cell phone conversation from before we entered until we'd finished eating and were ready to leave. People, PLEASE, I'm not trying to censor your phone privileges, but have a little consideration for the rest of us. We don't give a darn about what you ate or drank last night or what club you went to, OK?

Frankly, I see this going the way of smoking. For years we non smokers asked for just a little consideration in restaurants: don't blow smoke in our faces, hold your cigarette down where we wouldn't get a lungful between puffs, etc. We were too often told "i'll do what I want, smoke when I want, blow smoke where I want" etc. In the end you see where we ended up: enough people got so upset and so frustrated that you've got to stand outside in all weathers to grab a puff. Now granted, the health thing was a major factor, but I still think if more smokers showed a little more consideration, it might not have come to this. (And I agree with whoever commented on smokers not putting out their butts. Don't just toss them to the ground; step on 'em! It takes a couple of seconds. Sheesh. Next thing you know, you won't be flushing in public restrooms.) ;)

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