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May 19, 2004

RAMPARTS

What are the political ramifications?

(Thanks to Ted, the vowel-deprived field coordinator of the surging Dave-Barry-for-President juggernaut thingie.)

Comments

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getta load of her ramparts, eh?

You know how when someone does something a little courageous they say "that took balls?"

Well wearing this dress takes boobs...

Those ramparts sure are watched.

nagh naghhh naghhh nagghhhh...(bites heel of hand a la Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley)

Thanks judi! Can we have a daily rampart feature please?

I prefer the left one. No, no. I meant the right one. Yes. That's what I said, the left one! Unless, of course, I was refering to the right one.

she's got my TWO votes

I would just like to point out...

Well, she's certainly more attractive than the Bush twins...and the 4 ramparts they have between them...

OK Bush daughters, I believe the challenge has been sent!

We're waiting....

Rumor has it she named them "ketchup" and "mustard" in honor of her step-mum.

-Babs and Jenna

Only because no one has posted it yet, here goes:

"Hey, Alexandra! Why the long face?"

In fairness to her and her ramparts, I have heard that the dress did not appear that way in person. The flash illuminated the ramparts.

But who cares? RAMPARTS. RAMPARTS. RAMPARTS. RAMPARTS!!!

LOL. These posts are hilarious.

Meanwhile, what was she thinking? It's probably going to hurt daddy's campaign. And her choice in dresses is poor, IMO.
But then, what do you expect at Cannes?

Also, are they really much to look at? After what we saw a couple days ago? Come on.

Perhaps the dress didn't look that way in the mirror at the hotel, but celebrities have been having their ramparts illuminated like that for years. People who don't want the world to see their ramparts should dress more carefully.

Run out? There's about 3 billion right now! (looks at ticket "2,814,223,079") *sigh*

At least her ramparts aren't man made.

And, Punky, I don't think you need worry about that.

Now , decent men, that's another story......

#2,814,223,076

Ha! I'm three ahead of you.

What's that? Now serving #14?

How come no one has made a comment about her
"dimpled chads"?

Clearly, this woman's impeccable movie premiere fashion sense and watch o'erable ramparts make her a must-have at any and all Guide to Guys opening night festivities.

I call dibs on being the first Hawaiian shirt the Secret Service has to wrestle to the ground amid the rush to get near Ms. Kerry in line at the concession stand! Sorry, punky. Trade in those Birkenstocks for some Nikes and ya might just beat me there.

Why people give so much attention to that? I wish some other serious stuff could have more attention instead!!! Like... what about poverty???

Hold on now- as a member of the other "team", I take exception to the "kit". I don't have a mullet, birkenstocks, an SUV or two dogs. OK, OK-I did go to the first Lilith Fair but not to hold hands with my wiccan sisters and sing about our moon time. I went to see some ramparts.

Desperately hungry for attention.

Runs in the family.

Kepos...we care about poverty but frankly, you're getting on our nerves the way you're going about trying to take care of it. So shut up and move on. Thank you.

It's cool- dj- thanks! I joke about the "cat hair" lesbians all the time.
Go Massachusetts! (and tell the gov to settle down)

1. this photo will be VERY beneficial for John Kerry, b/c believe it or not there are tons of people out there who have no idea who he is and they are typically going to be the ones too obsessed with ramparts to pay any attention to the political process. In fairness I think these types of people fall on both sides of the political spectrum.

2. just a note, it is hard to tie hippie-like people who wear birkenstocks to SUVs...lesbian or not they tend to favor environmental issues.

3. politics and any talk of it (other than rousing Dave Barry for president cheers) should be avoided as this is not the forum for such things. enjoy good humor instead of regurgitated political swipes at ANY party.
period.

Hi, rita
Interested in a new toaster oven? (might be a vague reference for all the str8s)
;-)

Oh, and I typically don't like the hippie designation given to Birkenstock wearers...I love them and I am not a hippie...

cough drops?

I need to bone up a bit, I think, on technique...though it makes sense...

I had heard of the altoid trick...

I will say, I love the way this blog handles trolls. I think it's the female element. They really know how to emasculate and humiliate someone.

I too play for the "other team" and I personally can't stand Birkenstocks...but I still thought the Starter Kit comment was funny...(here in the Midwest, stereotypes abound)...

Hey we play nice until someone comes along and annoys us greatly, Garret. You'd figured they would have learned by now. :)

I like how Garrett was "emasculated" here by his letter to Dave and yet he's still around...shows good constitution...rock on...

As per my flame post, sorry, but I kind of see this place as an online bar...no PC no politics just good drunken fun...some things you should take elsewhere like to comment link on an Ann Coulter or Ted Rall article...

Cheers y'all

If I did go with that philosophy, my mom would go into shock and die.

I try not to offend....

*checks deoderant*

And I try not to offend with words, either....but sometimes my evil twin will say things and I get blamed for it........

Bah! Who cares about her jugs when it's impossible to get past that face! She looks like a giraffe that's been weaned on a dill pickle. Why didn't the dress designer use a bit more fabric to make a bag for her head?

I just call it like I see it and if people don't like my opinion, oh well. Good thing they're not me.

Although as Graz and Doug know, there are a select few people who I just can't tell that I don't like them because I'm too nice.

She took one look at Cher and decided, "Hey, I can do better than that."

A giraffe that's been weaned on a dill pickle???!!!???!!!! BRILLIANT!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!

So THAT'S where my mom got all those weird ideas!! Thanks for clearing that up Joshkl :-)

Stash, you looked at her face? Does she have eyes? ;-)

Any rampart in a storm...

Joshkr, my office mate likes that so much he's pinned it up on our BB. Of course, if he took it home his wife would kick his *ss!

Not to worry Graz, we can't smell anything over that Bad Neighbors place! I think I saw your evil twin over on the MOAT...

Well Kepos, I notice you have a blog. I notice you are the only one there. I also notice that you are an annoying moron. Go away or we will visit your blog with appropriate comments concerning what we think about you and your doomed-to-failure stupid mission. If that's not clear; you are not welcome or wanted here you &&*(%^$# troll!

What ya know, Alexandra does indeed have eyes! As well as very poor taste in underwear when wearing a see through dress. But I think she's kind a cute. And pretty darn gutsy to go out in public like that. Wonder what daddy thinks?

Humor is usually what attracts me to people. Maybe it's not just the jokes Joshkr. ;)

Joshkr- I've heard worse. Today. Granted, I'd slug ya in person, but I'd laugh while I did it!

I love that dress is GREAT!!!!!!

Awww....hitting's not nice. Unless of course the person did something very mean and vile. Then it's every man, woman, ostrich for theirself.

I didn't say I'd hit Joshkr HARD- just kind of a friendly slugging LOL.

Because really, what's a friend for if you can't occasionally beat them?

I only beat up on Logan because well, he deserves it. Anyone else is safe.

I suppose I COULD force him to eat my cooking (something I never do). That would be a fate worse than death and quite appropriate given the circumstances.

But I don't like beer! Make mine a Mike's instead and we have a deal :-)

OK, going home in two minutes. I just had to announce that my only accomplishment at work today was to read the entire MOAT and take the test (565).
Thank you, and good night.

Sadly I have to run as well- I've been mostly dead all day.
Thanks for the drink Joshkr!

The way this blogs been today, I've felt mostly drunk all day.

St. Jude, your score is duly noted and recorded in the kinky archives. We leave no perv behind! ;-)

Don't you mean "political rampartifications" Judi?

Hey, compared to Dad she's a beauty queen.

Quit horsing around, Johnny Boy.

Thanks for the 'rita, Punky!

Joshkr: Bartend away! It's a thirsty bunch here. Just be sure to sneak one yourself every once in a while, and buy the house a round of shots when the party really gets going!

St. Jude: My God(dess), that must have been something to absorb in one fell swoop, though I'm sure it makes some of the silly "inside jokes" a little bit clearer. Also, I love the fact that someone with the a name like St. Jude would score 565 :D

Lee? Lee! Would you kindly (or even kinkly) put your latest results in the MOAT now that it's flushed again? :-)

Whaddahey! Call it a single-post test for large! ;-)

Also, being that P@K is imminent on the MOAT, I think we should decide who gets the honor of being that post.

I have someone in mind, (NOT ME), but I feel it should be set up for someone to be that post.

Unless, y'all feel it should be just a Random Person.....

Floor is open for nominations...

That should be P2K up there ------^

(damn typos)

Hmph...bet her favorite painter is Titian. And that she prefers Jughead over Archie. This reminds me...gotta run to the grocery store, we're out of melons. Time to nip these puns in the bud. Nice hangin' out with you, but I gotta go.

Graz, as it was begun, so do I think the 2nd millenium should end and hopefully start again. However, the person I nominate has admitted to catching my own LTTG virus. Twisting, turning, shaking booty. heh heh I know that you know who I nominate!

If she brings the condiments, count me in!

Just for the record, the "toaster oven" reference comes from the "Coming Out" episode of Ellen. Funniest episode of TV sitcom ever. Show went straight downhill (if you'll pardon the expression) from there.

Just for the record, the "condiments" reference is not about Condoliza Rice, but it in fact about Senator Kerry's wife and Alexandra's step-mom, Teresa Heinz.

I called John today, and told him I would do anything for him, including taking my pants off at the convention, for a little internship with his daughter. Let's see Al Gore, Howard Dean, or Ralph Nader top that offer.

-Bill

Congrats, jamester! You win a "Ladies of the Blog" calendar!

eadn, as I said on the MOAT, I'll post the latest and greatest kinky scores on the MOAT tomorrow. Anybody else want their score recorded before then? Let me know!

Also, I see STYX every year that I can. Great, great concerts even in their new incarnation. Lorelei is one of the few STYX songs I can actually play on guitar. Now that Dennis De Young is gone, James Young sings it when they do play the song. And does a great job!

Ok, everybody let punky post next. She can get the trifecta of 2000 & 2004 on the MOAT and 100 on the top post! Go for it punky!

Insert Post Here

OK, I finally stopped laughing long enough to say something, and will this ever be a long comment (you've been warned):

1. Kepos, get the hell away from here. I notice that you're trying to eliminate poverty by wasting bandwidth. What a concept -- making money by throwing it away! If that worked, I'd be filthy rich by now. Take a hint from TheHomelessGuy.net and try to raise money while you're at it. In case you haven't been following this blog very long, or you had a lobotomy to eliminate your sense of humor, this is indeed a HUMOR site written by a HUMOR columnist. We don't take a liking to non-HUMOR here.

2. The ramparts have been blogged again for your viewing pleasure.

3. St. Jude, you are my hero! Reading the entire MOAT in a day and scoring that high on a kinky test are my two most cherished dreams...how'd you manage to still be a "St." ?

4. Where was the Styx reference? That seemed to pop out of nowhere.

You're all insane. In a nice way. I think the Kerry twins will be credit to their father, and go a long way to lighting up the issues he's running on.

His Lordship

1. HEY BARON!

2. I must've missed the kinky test somewhere along the way? Are y'all sure I was paying attention?

3. It can't be that bad Joshkr.

Baron! Welcome back!

MeL -- Kink Test

Hmm...348. How the hell did that happen.

Anton,

I'm sure Dave knows that a couple has to have actual sex to conceive children.

Signed,

The Regulars

We'll have to make sure Lee get's the score so it can be included in the list.

A lot of it is "would you" type things, so you must be thinking about some of it......

I'll never tell.. :P

That's great Phil!

Hi Alex, Hi MeL,

So how's it hanging in DaveLand? What did you score on the Kink Test, MeL? My score was 483 and I was telling the truth. I don;t know if this is a good thing or not...

His Lordship

Hey Baron...mine was 348.

Your Lordship,

It's very good to see you here again. I hope all is well in the Barony, and that you come visit us more often. I hope that the Baroness is well also.

I am absolutely telling the truth when I say that I am a third cousin of Dennis DeYoung but didn't know it until recently. It's all about the domo arigato, baby. Speaking of which, I really should have Guinness look into naming Salvador the World's Most Expensive Frog, also, unless someone knows of a TEN million-dollar one.

Not to get back on topic *shudder* but I think we need to refine the warning for posts.

"Do Not Open at Work" certainly applies here for some people. Ramparts. 'Nuff said.

However, the "Or If You Don't Want Your Mom To Think You're (Not Your) Gay" part only applies to female bloglits. And even that part (if I'm reading some of the above posts right) doesn't apply anyway.

Unless my perverted male mind is running away from me, we got more lesbians (and prospective lesbians) in here than you can shake a stick at (so to speak)! Then again, I guess if you're in the closet, the Mom thing WOULD apply.

All of this proves that the male mind short circuits whenever the talk turns to lesbians. I need to go take a cold shower.

Oh. And I wear Berks and drive an SUV. But I've always known I'm a lesbian.

There. Emasculate away, lesbians (and prospective lesbians)!

How many of you visited Kepos' site?

I actually enjoyed their gratuitous boob-shots, and the page full of fart jokes had me in stitches.

I think it would be a nice gesture if we were all to email them a fart joke or two, you know, just join in the fun. It takes a village. Good times.

It seems that we had a virtual cotillion (that's coming-out party) yesterday. Did anyone else notice the surrealism of one poster saying that they "played for the other team" followed by another blogger saying that they player for the other team followed by ANOTHER person who played for the "other" team. How many teams are there? Could we start a league?

Okay maybe not.

eadn, I'm honored, honored by your nomination for MOAT 2K. Alas, I was doing other things at the time...

Doug, I have a dog. She is not for sale. She is practically SuperDog, she is so great of a dog, except for the fact that she barks at the TV set every damn night and you can't shut her up and we have to hire a trainer soon to teach her to actually come when you call her...

Haven't taken the Kinky test, because I blog at work, and I guarantee I'd get one of those "blocked" pages, so what's the point. One of these days when I log on at home I will have to take that test so I can post my score to the blog like everybody else...boy am I bowing to peer pressure! Just like an afterschool special! (Does anybody remember those? "Remember kiddies, don't use drugs!")

Welcome back, Baron. Don't be a stranger.

Yeah, but don't you miss Amy Carter?

Yeah, but don't you miss Amy Carter?

Yeah, but don't you miss Amy Carter?

Yeah, but don't you miss Amy Carter?

I did visit Kepos site, but I didn't let it load all the way.

Also, thanks MeL for linking to the Kink Test again. I don't know what it says, but I was being honest and scored a 543. I also don't know what it says that I was disappointed in that score and think that I need to do better.

I did visit Kepos site, but I didn't let it load all the way.

Also, thanks MeL for linking to the Kink Test again. I don't know what it says, but I was being honest and scored a 543. I also don't know what it says that I was disappointed in that score and think that I need to do better.

eadn, I'm honored, honored by your nomination for MOAT 2K. Alas, I was doing other things at the time...

Doug, I have a dog. She is not for sale. She is practically SuperDog, she is so great of a dog, except for the fact that she barks at the TV set every damn night and you can't shut her up and we have to hire a trainer soon to teach her to actually come when you call her...

Haven't taken the Kinky test, because I blog at work, and I guarantee I'd get one of those "blocked" pages, so what's the point. One of these days when I log on at home I will have to take that test so I can post my score to the blog like everybody else...boy am I bowing to peer pressure! Just like an afterschool special! (Does anybody remember those? "Remember kiddies, don't use drugs!")

Welcome back, Baron. Don't be a stranger.

Mahatma, you can say that again.

The server's running slow today...that's why all the multiple posts.

What the hell is Graz already doing up? Wait, nevermind, you went to bed before I did. Ok ignore that.

Ha, Mel. Never mind is two words. So ha.

I too wanted to bow to peer pressure and take the kink test, but I can't get through to the server. Do you suppose we crashed it?

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