NATIONAL ANTHEM UPDATE

Aftter looking at this picture, we finally understand the phrase "o'er the ramparts we watched."

(Thanks to Michael Greenspan)

Comments

[MOTW]

Banda Mambo IS agnfarb

[LaguitoMojito]

Ram parts?

[Boo Augustus]

Those are some mighty fine ramparts.

[Meeker]

Holy Jesus. I wish I could find a bra that could do that. They defy gravity. This is my punishment for shopping at Wal-Mart.

[MeL]

Rampart-

1 : a protective barrier : BULWARK
2 : a broad embankment raised as a fortification and usually surmounted by a parapet
3 : a wall-like ridge (as of rock fragments, earth, or debris)

And they say kids don't learn anything in public schools. :)

[Tayster]

God Bless America indeed!

[Eddie Malvin]

A parapet is defined as "Breastworks, walls, and bulwarks of earth, wood, brick, iron, stone, etc., located on the exterior edge of the rampart of the fort." That's a fine para-something, obviously the etc. includes man-made plastics?

[Jeff]

Wowzers!!! Them's some fine ramparts!

[philintexas]

Holy straining underwire Batman... So THAT's what being able to hit a horsehide-covered sphere 300-plus feet will fetch ya...

[MeL]

Phil, I believe she's not wearing an underwire which leades me to believe it may have been a little on the cool side that day.

[JCT]

Fake.

Sorry I guess I'm just jealous.

[Garret]

Watch the video too. God bless Jose Lima. It sounds like he has a big heart, and he loves this country. But he cannot sing to save his life.

MLB: "I'm sorry, Jose, you're not singing the National Anthem today."

Lima: "Have you guys met my wife?"

And that kid of theirs looks like maybe he breastfed a little too long (and who can blame him)?

[John]

The photographer's name is "Jon SooHoo."

Huh?

And, from an engineering standpoint, her ramparts are cantilevered from her body, which requires a LOT of support to do, either internally or externally.

I know a female someone from my high school who was *ahem* well-endowed. She played on the same school soccer team with my sister. We have video of the "someone" running off the field awkwardly, holding her arms and torso like she had a neurologic condition. My sister reported later what had happened; her sports bra broke!

[Kalyani]

O'er the implants they watched!

I bet her back is killing her.

[Higgy]

God bless America is right.... only here can you get them in those sizes! Watching the video, she's stood with her hand on her heart - she has to stick her elbow out at 80 degrees just to get her hand above them!

[Tayster]

On the video, her hand is so high up it looks like she's choking herself.

[Guin]

That looks SO uncomfortable! How does she roll over when she's sleeping? Ugh.

[cherie priest]

Sweet baby Jesus on a stick.
I'm straight, and I'm riveted.

[judi]

i wonder if she looks at that picture and sees something attractive, or if she realizes how stupid it looks. you know how anorectics look at themselves in the mirror and still see a fat person? rampartgirl probably sees a normal female figure instead of a strange stepfordian mountain range....

[lurker]

Looks like thery're super-sizing everything in America today.

P.S.: Take that, er, THOSE, Taliban!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

i wonder if she looks at that picture and sees something attractive, or if she realizes how stupid it looks

I know, that looks so stupid. I'm going to go back and check just to make sure.

Yep. stupid.

Better check again just to make sure though.

[Sean]

"stand beside her,and guide her,through the night what a sight from above." Thees country bee very very goood to heem!

[Boo Augustus]

"Stepfordian?" Nice adjective. I'm kinda looking forward to the new "Stepford Wives." Not sure it can have the same impact as the original . . . sort of a commentary/backlash against the women's movement of the 1970s. Actually, to really be current, I think the women in Stepford should look great(impressive ramparts) and act perfect AND have high-paying jobs with which to support their husbands, children, nannies, housekeepers, gardeners, husbands' mistresses, Mercedes Benz payments, golf club dues, etc. In fact, most men could probably do without the ramparts if everything else is paid for.

[BMX3]

Whatch the video: Chico Escuela sings the National Anthem.

And by looking at his wife, béisbol been berry berry good to Jose.

(But that still takes guts, not an easy song to sing and an aweful lot of people, not to mention he knew all the words. America has been berry berry good to Jose.)

"So THAT's what being able to hit a horsehide-covered sphere 300-plus feet will fetch ya...

Not exactly, that's what keeping the other guy from hitting it 300-plus feet will fetch ya

/Baseball Fact Nazi

[BMX3]

Sorry Sean, I guess we had the same idea.

[Garret]

Judi said: "rampartgirl probably sees a normal female figure instead of a strange stepfordian mountain range"

I bet she's always comparing herself to the other massively-enhanced ladies of So-Cal and wishing that she'd gotten 'em bigger.

[John]

I wonder what the lady's job was before her marriage? Perhaps her enhancement was for that.

[Mechanic]

Hasn't anyone noticed that her headlights are out of whack? Why are they both pointing toward the camera? She needs a good body shop.

[John]

If both headlights are pointed in the same direction, that's OK, right, Mechanic? So what's the problem?

[Mechanic]

Camera's on the left. Headlights are pointing left. If it was night, she could only go around the block. Maybe she's been there already.

[Boo Augustus]

HEY! We're not calling them headlights (beacause that is so demeaning to women). We're calling them "ramparts." Get it right.

[lurker]

I always knew Silicone Valley was located in Southern California, but I didn't know it was smack-dab in Dodger Stadium.

[Mechanic]

"Ramparts" would be the foundation for the headlights, I think. Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm sure you will.

[Boo Augustus]

Ahh, it never occurred to me that "headlights" were limited to, um, a much smaller area. But then what is the automotive equivalent of the "rampart." Presuming we start with a "chassis" and work toward the "headlights" what's in between? I'm not sure that "Look at those fenders/that bumper" really works.

[D'Artagnan]

Rita, maybe the wrinkle is in the implant itself, not the fabric. Just sayin'. Don't ask me how I know these things.

[Mechanic]

Our only concern, I suppose, is being properly respectful towards women and not demeaning them. We could say, "Look at them headlights on those ramparts." I doubt the mixed metaphor would be the source of complaint.

[Mechanic]

Rita: I did look at the picture two or three times before I posted. Maybe it's a wrinkle. Maybe it's a bauble on a chain poking through the fabric. But I don't see any chain. It looks like a headlight. And it seems there's a cool breeze blowing from her right.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

I hear Jose also likes to play basketball

[Sean]

Yo,BMX3 ees all goood! To much SNL as a kid effects great minds alike.Ya know,has anyone thought maybe her bosoms were just swelled with pride?

[golfwidow]

Remember when the question "Fake?" in regard to baseball referred to the grass?

[Boo Augustus]

Mechanic,

After careful, deatiled study of the video, I think Rita is correct. The alleged unfocused "headlight" is, in fact, a wrinkle in the shirt between the headlights. Poor shirt, it looks like it's almost to the breaking point.

[Mechanic]

Boo,

I'll have to trust you and Rita, and I really, truly do. It'd take me, like, 30 minutes to load the video. Where'd you get your "tiled study" software?

[The Field Coordinator]

Very impressive. For the most part everyone stayed on topic. The gazongas, too, are impressive.

[FirstTimeCaller]

Never before has the "jumbo-tron" been so aptly named.

Yowzer!

[Mechanic]

You mean, they ain't natural? I'll have to take another look.

Dang. Another bubble (bauble?) burst.

[elfbrains]

TFC - c'mon, we are really good at staying on top of the big issues.

[Chekhov]

What so proudly we hail indeed!

[Zed]

For some reason my mind went completely blank. I'll just have to go back and look again before posting my comments...

[Graz]

*snaps head around*

You called Punky?

Need some help?

BTW, is it just me, or do her "ramparts" make anyone else think of doing the tap test to see if they're ripe? Ala honeydew melons. I wonder if they'll go "thunk" if you did?

[Graz]

Not me, Punky.

Those go against the requirement I have for certain parts of the female anotomy.

The requirement being that it must not feel like she has a couple of softballs in there.

I'll take mine natural, thank you very much.

[Laurie2038]

That just looks *painful*. Yeeeooouch.

[Big "don't look at me in that tone of voice" Mur]

I can live with 'em...*blublublublublublublublublub*

[mudstuffin]

"rampartgirl probably sees a normal female figure instead of a strange stepfordian mountain range...."

Allright, y'all, welcome a new poet to the blog.

Well stated, judi.

[Jeff P.]

Hey now, Graz, lets not discriminate. Some families prefer plastic (or aluminum) Christmas trees. Some businesses prefer plastic (or cloth) plants. Some people prefer plastic (or polyeurothane, or silicone, etc.) for a variety of reasons.

I suspect that lots of women on this blog occaisionally prefer certain body parts made of non-natural substances.

Perhaps hers are prosthetic devices, attached after a horribly disfuguring rampart accident?!?

Where's the sympathy, people?

[mudstuffin]

Plastic Ramparts wbagnfarb

[Graz]

I'm not being discrimanatory.

I just don't like 'em.

And I speak from experience.

Not my cup of tea.

[Boo Augustus]

Graz, I think those are bigger than softballs.

[Graz]

Ok, Bocce balls.

[Jeff Meyerson]

As Ricky Ricardo would say, ay-ya-ya-ya-ya!

Phil, I think Jose is a pitcher, but got your point. Both of 'em in fact.

I wonder if you can see them from the space shuttle.

Whenever I'm walking down the street and see a sight like that (not very often, darn it) I must admit (after looking) I have two thoughts:
1. Honey, get a bra, you'll thank me later.
2. Two words: breast reduction.

Maybe Pamela Anderson was her hero growing up?

Rita, welcome back. How was your weekend?

[Jeff P.]

Graz: I was trying to be sarcastic, but apparently not very successfully. :-)

As long as we are discussing size, I'd say they were definitely more than a "cup of tea." I'd guess they are two or three cups each. Maybe "not my quart of whiskey" would be a better metaphor in this case?!?

And the plastic body parts I was referring to girls sometimes preferring are male body parts.

[Boo Augustus]

I just finished reading a review of "Troy" and had a devilishly clever thought.

Ready?

Here goes . . .

"The breasts that launched a thousand quips."

Thank you folks. I'll be here all week. Enjoy the veal.

[lurker]

Just think of all the money Mrs. Lima saved by not having to install airbags in her car!

[eadn]

*wonders about the lift properties of helium enhancements*

OK, and I just gotta ask ya Punky. Are your "girls" named Pointy and Perky ;-)

[Ernie G]

There's never a wardrobe malfunction around when you need one.

[Zed]

Wardrobe malfunction!
Wardrobe malfunction!
Wardrobe malfunction!
Wardrobe malfunction!

Something tells me they would budge an inch though.

[Graz]

I did catch the sarcasm Jeff P.

And you are right, sir.

Quart of whiskey is more like it.

[Big "don't look at me in that tone of voice" Mur]

Quart hell...more like gallon jug...

[mudstuffin]

Jose, can you see,
thru your wife's tight green shirt
what so stunningly stood
with their headlights a'gleaming?

Whose great height and cup size
truly boggle the mind
for those mammories we thought
"I'd like to see her behind"

(fill in your own 'rocket's red glare' joke here)

(also bursting brassiere)

[Lee]

Looks like they've locked the MOAT at 1882 posts. :-( Oh well, this thread looks like the appropriate place for a BLOAT! Congrats to all for staying on topic! Of course, this is one (two?) of those 'topics' we usually go off topic to discuss; so it wasn't that difficult! That and the fact that it would take quite a while to climb down from this topic.

It's also interesting to see that ramparted and ramparting are also words. Obviously, they're verbs.

Also, it's an acronym: RAMPART Radar Advanced Measurement Program for Analysis of Reentry Techniques. The key words being, "Advanced Measurement" and "Reentry Techniques."

[Lee]

Apparently there is also a thing called a Rampart Gun, possibly used when ram-parting or during reentry.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Mudstuffin, you're firing on all cylinders today.

[Mike McCaffrey]

Okay watch the movie and tell me whether or not he actually sings:

...stand beside her, and gag her, through the night...

he seems like one guy you definatly don't want to wisit you at night, there in the backroom your mind...

[waxwing]

Boo,
your comment reminded me of a Richard Armour book, wherein he referred to Helen of Troy, saying "she launched a thousand ships with her face". i read it during an unrelated class, burst out laughing, and got in trouble. but it was worth it...as was yours.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I e-mailed this story to a friend, who wrote:

"I went to the stats page that was mentioned and was extremely disappointed to find out that they were HIS stats!"

[Jeff P.]

We'd rather ogle you, Bangi. But you seem reluctant to post a picture. (or else I missed it - wouldn't be the first time)

[Brad]

Lima Time also sang "America the Beautiful". The crowd went wild when he belted out "Purple Mountains Majesty".

[mamazon]

I'm sensing a pattern to the round robin of threads... is it my imagination or do the blogits flock to posts involving breasts?

[mudstuffin]

Okay did anyone notice that two of the scientists in that story (Joshkr's post) were named Blewitt and Gross?

[mudstuffin]

Mamazon: no, we flock to penises, too.

(did I say that out loud?)

[judi]

waxwing i LOVED richard armour when i was a kid. my little brother and i would read it to each other and crack up.

on plastic: i'm with graz. i don't like plastic, no matter what kind of body parts you're simulating.

[Graz]

But, I do have to say that toys are not included in my distain for plastic body parts as Jeff P. said.

Many of the ladies will agree on that. But I do have to say, they are not just solo amusement.

It's fun to be the one to use it on the lady.

[MeL]

Did you know...

That there's a chance of the silicone in implants wrinkling after time and therefore creating deep crevaces in the skin that resemble stretch marks.

[Zed]

Someone doesn't like us ogling her ramparts - they changed the photo!

[Tayster]

I guess I need to work now.

[mamazon]

Don't give up so easy, Tayster! I am sure someone, somewhere saved the photo and will graciously post it back to this thread.

[Tayster]

Post #100!

[Zed]

New Guy Olympic sport:

Rampart Spotting

[gina.g]

Thanks, Tayster.
Makes me want to stand at attention and sing the praises of modern medicine.

[txGal]

From the story Brad posted :
"I don't think nothing was wrong with the dress," eighth-grader Dannielle Fuqua said.

Ah, what sad times we live in when you may graduate from eight grade and still sound like a five-year-old. Actually, I have a five-year-old and he has better grammar.

[Lee]

With cleavage like that, how smart does she need to be to snag a MLB pitcher?

[Tayster]

gina, consider it my gift to making this country better.

[BMX3]

Well, if you go to a catholic school named "Holy Family" you might just want to expect something like this, ya Think! If you want to where a dress like that, try public school where you could pretty much show up naked.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Thanks Tayster

Now if someone will Photoshop the word "Goodyear" on the side . . .

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ah well, Cincinnati, what can you expect? Otherwise known as "Land of Hypocrisy" where they keep their sin across the river in Kentucky.

Getting back to the real news, I'm too lazy to go back and check who said it but he was right: Mrs. L's boobs ARE bigger than her 5 year old son's head!

[D'Artagnan]

MeL, you are so sweet... precisely what I meant :)

[Brad]

Actually, the cleavage was a convenient excuse. The principal banned Danielle Fuqua from graduation so he wouldn't have to pronounce her name.

[Garret]

Those bastards! I can't believe they cropped Mrs. Lima out of the picture. What do they think? That people were clicking on the article ONLY to oggle her ramparts?

I for one was looking for a stirring rendition of God Bless America sung with a thick accent.

(And as a business move, how much sense does this make? "Oh no! People are visiting our site. We must stop this immediately!!!")

[Guin]

I don't think nothing was wrong with the dress," eighth-grader Dannielle Fuqua said. "I wouldn't have came to school if I thought something was wrong with the dress."

How about banning her from graduating because she's too illiterate to get an 8th grade diploma? I guess the principal was too busy looking down her shirt to actually teach her how to read.

[Big "what the ?" Mur]

I still say "blublublublublublublublublublublublub"...

[Milo]

Wow, I'm glad someone posted that link to the original picture. I'm catching up and just now seeing this, and I couldn't figure out what the heck any of you saw in the original picture. If you look at it long enough, especially at 5:15 AM, you see that it could look as if Mesa is addressing his little "subjects" -- the players looking the other way from the dugout -- but that's all I could figure out. Phew.