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May 19, 2004

MEN

Get your sledgehammers ready.

(Thanks to Catherine Conner)

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nonononononononono

NO TALKING TOILETS, i repeat
NO TALKING TOILETS

that is all

Sledgehammers indeed! I'm thinking TNT is called for here!

uh-UH, no way!

Who needs a sledgehammer? Just a leisurely spritzing all around and upon the seat a la Jack Nicholson in "About Schmidt"

Well if the husband/boyfriend/son/victim has already started "spritzing" when the toilet starts to talk, I'm thinking that the seat will likely be less damp than the walls, floor & ceiling...

I'm actually MORE likely to pee on the seat with that device equipped.

The article says:
"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess..."
So why does the toilet even have a lid you can raise? Makes no sense, which I would expect from a product designed for women.

/ducks the flames

did anyone else see the phantom kerry post? perhaps it will come back....

Remember when the world was afraid of German men? I don't think we have to worry anymore. Their women and their toilets nag them and they don't know how to have sex.

FYI, peeing on electrical devices is not recommended.

Ach! Again with the talking inanimate objects! This technology would be better applied to restaurant rest rooms as a flush-activated recording that reminded employees to wash their hands before returning to work.

Jimbo, I think it starts talking when the seat is raised, not the lid. Which means you could pee standing up if you don't raise the seat, which is even worse than the original problem.

Can't we all just . . .

get along?

I wonder how many "WC Ghosts" sold are going to be flushed down the toilet within the first five minutes of their activation.

Wait a second, I thought that NOT putting it up was the problem (as long as you remembered to put it back down afterwards). What gives?

A better solution would be for the Germans to stop making beer altogether.

Hmm . . . if I may play sexist devil's advocate for a moment, what husband will be willing to install this thing?

Also, does it not also chastise the person who attempts to clean the toilet bowl? That seems counterproductive.

Are the sledgehammers for the devices, or for the inventor? Talk about a gender-traitor!

Notice that they're planning to market next in Britain, Canada, and Italy. No mention of the US. Obviously, they know better than to try and bring their creeping toilet fascism to the good ole US of A!

D'Art.

That's Blasphamy!

Evidence suggests that several of the men in my household have uncontrollable muscle spasms in the bathroom already.

I don't think a disembodied female voice coming from the supposed target would help.

MKJ,

Remember Jack Nicholson in "Wolf"? Marking his territory?

Can it be modified for the cat's litter box? "here kitty, kitty, kitty...good kitty, gooooood kitty. NOW WIPE YOUR FEET AND QUIT TRACKING LITTER EVERYWHERE!...goooooood kitty".
Or maybe have litter boxes for men and cats? hmmmm....

I LOVE the idea of litter pans for men!! Especially since litter pans don't talk!!

waxwing & looney girl, we'd just miss them, too. And do you really want to scoop that!

Talking Toilet wbagnrarb.

haha, silly inventors. i think i'll continue to stand when using the toilet, for all functions.

Actually, I'm inclined to use a pile-driver on this toilet thing. About the same as I felt the one time I had a car tell me to step away from itself.

Lee,

You're right, by gum, what was I thinking?

Maybe men should just use the ones at the nearby gas stations and leave the home plumbing alone. Except for repair and nasty jobs excepted, of course.

Just what is it that women can't seem to understand about "UP" and "DOWN?" I leave the toilet seat up and anyone who inattentatively falls in is ridiculed.

On the otherhand, I do know about the concept of flushing. I contend that the toilet handles and the doors should be interlocked. No flush? Wet/Dirty seat? -- no exit and a beeping alarm outside the toilet if someone tries to escape without thinking of the next person in line.


And wasn't Judi havin'g a 'rule-rant'about wet seats in the 'Ladies' just last week?

To paraphrase Robert Heinlein:

‘There is one unmistakable sign of the collapse of society: dirty public washrooms. Offensive speech, bad manners, and filthy toilets all seem to go together.’

From his book--
To Sail Beyond the Sunset and other writings

Well, at least I'd be making a right mess...

Gregg, in all good humor, wouldn't that be a left mess?! ;-)

heh heh Gregg, I gotta give You a Grand Kudos for that one...kinda wish such thought was available for all male youths (He(l)l, even female youths! :-) Might save a lot of trouble of unnecessary worry ya know?! ;-)

Just to get on my own olde aged soapbox, a twist in the tail ain't necessarily a bad thing, sorta like the unnecessary weirdness of women to have a helium set like Ramparts-Lady. It's the wielding that makes for better welding on both sides of the team-fence.

'Scuse me, I'm trying to cover a lot of ground in Summarian. So anyways, to me, looks all-over can be provocative, but in any end, it's the mind that Truly Matters!

Scotty, don't bother beaming me up. I just crossed over into the Menagerie! :-)

*shit* this is gonna be the post I worry about all night, but I tried hard and meant well...c'est la me....

Oh, piss on that stupid machine! Wait...nevermind. They should have a warning on that thing.

Does the gadget have an off button?

"Jane, stop this crazy thing...!"
-- George Jetson

Dave, you said it best. Broaden the campaign to cover TALKING and low-flow toilets.

Hereby I would like to excuse on behalf of all real German guys for this unfortunate invention. I promise to use a sledgehammer on the guy who had that idea as soon as I meet him.

Nevertheless I would like to push another issue. It is WAY more important to invent a program which teaches guys to wash their hands after certain procedures in bathrooms. The importance of this occured to me on a international airport toilet where roundabout 90% of the people left the room without even pretending to rinse their hands, not to talk about soap. Eeeeeeew....

Thanks rita! Even though I'm str8, I've been propositioned by guys. I just say, "Pass. Thanks, but No Thanks." No harm nor foul, just me. What bugs me is all the self-righteous hate that goes on about sex, sexual preferences, and this "sanctity of marriage" brouha. If it's solo, mutual, or a true dedication of minds, I just don't see any reason for all the fuss!

If necessity is the mother of invention, then she really needs more to do.

Can we all just agree that all of the really cool, garage-inventor stuff has already been invented and leave new gadgeteering to the experts?

Talking toilets indeed. What's next? A mirror that points out what parts of you are ugly so you can go about fixing them?

PS to my last post: Electricity and toilets DO NOT MIX!

May I ask who is going to install this thing? A woman? I don't think so!

Um.. Gee sorry honey.... I can't seem to get it to work. Can't imagine why.

I am generally against all talking things. Things should not talk.

... its creators are in negotiations to market it in Britain, Canada and Italy.

Notice that they at least have the sense to not EVEN try marketing in the USA.

Didn't anyone else wonder why they quoted a German invention speaking in smarmy pseudo-Brit accent? I'll grant that they could it could be an inexact translation from the German (which is the language you would expect it to speak it), so who picked the snotty British phrasing? It's one electron away from ending with 'right-o, good chap'

Why don't they just make it lower the lid if it's such a big deal?

This is insane. The first I ever heard of sitting down to pee was in that anoying movie about the widowed retired insurance execuative who drives to boulder colorado in a moter home.

If my wife ever asked me to do that I would leave the seat down and pee on it till she gave in.

If that did not work I would gather her and all her lesbian friends together and make them form a pyramid somehow and take photos.

This would show her who was boss - either that or I would pee in the yard more often or in the middle of the freaking kitchen floor. I would be standing up - unless I was to drunk and was passed out - which is usually how I pee anyhow.

We don't need toilets that yell at men when they lift the lid -- we need urinals that have a snap-on toilet seat & lid.

That way, the default mode of usage would be standing up. Your wife and you would have separate His/Hers snap-on seat/lids (the "His" one being for those "number 2" times), so the only one messing up her toilet seat would be her. And now the husband could nag the wife when she forgets to snap off her seat/lid after using it.

Gee, I should be an inventor! (Hey stop laughing, it was a better idea than this German clown's).

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