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May 24, 2004

EXCELLENT ADVICE FOR PEOPLE TRYING TO AVOID ARREST

Though it may be a little hard to swallow.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson for the article, and Ms. Nomer and Punky for the bad puns, which also included "he didn't make the cut.")

Comments

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Makes me feel better about the watch battery I had in my ear for 3 years ...

and you're welcome, Judi. ;)

wait, what?

astounding. how could he move his neck around and stuff?

Judge: For being a complete wanker, you are hereby sentenced to 12 years...in the Country of Christ, formerly known as South Carolina.

Defendant: [drawn out howl of anguish].

Johnnie Cochran: The knife fit, so they didn't acquit.

I don't have any good blades beyond cutlery, but I think I'd be more concerned about the stash I don't have than a swallowed pocket-knife. Hell, I got a machete in the garage!

You just know that an hour later, he had the urge to swallow another knife.

That's worse than the woman who had a knife in her back

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are we sir?

Lily, you're up late!

Yep.

How did he EAT?

Doc....I just have this really sore throat all the time, and I can't figure out why...

It's a good thing they have sub-standard healthcare in China, because if they had put that guy in an MRI machine, it would have accurately recreated a scene from Alien.

No dummy, you swallow the DRUGS and let them find the knife! What a doofus.

The thing that gets me is that he was still actually in possession of the weapon at the time of the search. Could the cops go back eight months later and bust him for possession?

Besides, any good criminal knows you don't *swallow* the evidence....

I'm going to stop there.
JT

I think things would have gone better for Bill if Monica had swallowed the evidence instead of letting it stain her dress...

Good thing the guy wasn't smuggling parrots...

First, some guy (from the Phillipines/Indonesia?) offers to cut off his penis and offer it to angry spirits to eat, and now some guy from China decides it's a better deal to swallow a large knife rather than get arrested for its possession.

These people should lay off the rice wine, already. It's severely clouding their judgement.

What I can't figure out is how somebody who did drugs couldn't tell he had a knife in his throat for 8 months.

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