AND THE SO-CALLED "FEDERAL GOVERNMENT" DOES NOTHING

Minneapolis faces a severe clown shortage.

(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)

Update: Whoops. Looks like this is yet another pesky registration site. For the benefit of those of you who do not wish to go to the trouble of supplying false information, the gist of the story is: Minneapolis is facing a severe clown shortage.

Update Update: Apparently some of the time this is not a registration site. We will never understand this crazy Internet thing.

Comments

[Garret]

Sure, it sounds like fun and games. But read:

"The dangers of being a clown? Silly String," Erickson said. "Kids shoot it at you, and you can't get it off. The parents just stand there and laugh."

Bastard do-nothing parents.

[telcontar]

That's odd that it's a registration required site now. It wasn't 2 minutes ago.

[Klynn]

Oooohhh, me, me, I have a highly developed sense of whimsy!!!

[mudstuffin]

Key Quote: "You don't do potty humor," she said. "You don't ride down the street on a toilet and drop your pants."

Lady, speak for yourself!

[lurker]

Is Pennywise available?

[punky brewster]

lurker ... If I have nightmares tonight, I'm calling you!

[waxwing]

"For Darlyne Erickson, membership chairwoman for the Minneapolis Aqua Jesters, there's nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around -- except maybe the tears of a clown when there are no clowns around."

ummmm....i guess. i keep a pint jar of clown tears on my bedside table to help me go to sleep. it's not that sad. but i'm not an Aqua Jester, either.

[Chaz Stevens]

Personally, I am dealing with the issue of "a severe shortage of lobster-like aprons" here at our company. On the brighter side of things, we have a plethora of Hawaiian shirts (donated to us by Don Ho's sister - Shesa).

[Jeff Meyerson]

No registration now.

What was the name of the 7 foot bunny? Bruce? Maybe he can go out to Minnesota for a while, just to help them through the crisis.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

It's true that some clowns have no trouble working in Minneapolis.

[John]

I hate clowns.

I have ALWAYS hated clowns.

Of course, my orthodontist's office was covered with whimsical clown pictures and sculptures. It added psychological torture to the actual pain of having my teeth wired together ("This won't hurt!").

[Jon]

For Darlyne Erickson, membership chairwoman for the Minneapolis Aqua Jesters, there's nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around -- except maybe the tears of a clown when there are no clowns around."

ummmm....i guess. i keep a pint jar of clown tears on my bedside table to help me go to sleep. it's not that sad. but i'm not an Aqua Jester, either.

Now there's some sad things known to man
but ain't too much sadder than
the tears of a clown
when there's no one around.

[Alex]

"Clowns?! You got me clowns?! I HATE CLOWNS!!!"

--Problem Child

[looney girl]

As a life-long resident of the great state of Minnesota I can assure you we have plenty of clowns. Jesse Ventura springs to mind........

[Ella Fintz]

Just a note on the requirements to join to read articles.

You may view one article without signing up, but if you go to another article on the site, it requires a membership.

Some other news sites, the Miami Herald included, require the same thing on their web site.

If you don't want to skew their market research by providing false information, clear your cookies before hitting up that second article.

[Winkelstein]

For me, the key quote was:

"We are facing a dire shortage of clowns," said Erickson, also known as Jingles.

I'm still laughing. First of all, I don't think I've ever heard a more ridiculous statement, and then I just love the casual way the author threw in the "also known as Jingles" comment. Love it.