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May 17, 2004

A PERFECTLY MATCHED COUPLE

Don't these folks have television?

(Thanks to Bruce Alter)

Comments

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These people are too STUPID to have children! let well enough alone!

first?

I'm inclined not to believe this one...

maybe they were limited to old-style soap operas, where when you sleep together you literally sleep together...and 9 months later, meet your offspring, who a month later is moving out at 18 and beginning the whole circle of life again....

Exactly to which religion do these two belong? Please cancel my membership immediately!

This HAS to be a hoax.

I think we need to see a picture of these two people.I mean,your brain doesnt need to be TOLD to have sex,or crave sex,its part of our instinct.
Did anyone tell the squid to have sex? Give me a break,they definatly are out of the parental picture.

Please tell me it's April Fools' Day.

Please also tell me why these people are being encouraged to reproduce.

I have heard of the reverse situation: a high school girl told at the clinic that she's pregnant, who sighs and says "How did this happen?". After a short interview, it became clear that the girl had no idea that sex and pregnancy were linked.

The 36-year-old husband had never seen his 30-year-old wife's ramparts ...

*side note: did anyone else notice that her ramparts are as big as their 5-year-old's head?*

Stupid filter doesn't let me see it because the URL has the word "sex" in it...anyone want to summarize for me? (Althought I think I got a pretty good idea from the comments...)

Stupid filter doesn't let me see it because the URL has the word "sex" in it...anyone want to summarize for me? (Although I think I got a pretty good idea from the comments...)

Childless couple told to try sex

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless - they weren't having sex.

The University Clinic of Lubek said they had never heard of a case like it after examining the couple who went to see them last month for fertility tests.

Doctors subjected them to a series of examinations and found they were both apparently fertile, and should have had no trouble conceiving.

A clinic spokesman said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?".

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband are now being given sex therapy lessons while the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education.

Crap, I hate double-posting.

Damn FCC! If they had only caught five minutes of Howard Stern, they wouldn't be in this kind fix.

No way. No WAY. This did NOT happen.

A minor counterpoint: I proposed IN BED two times, then got married two times, and divorced in four years two times.

Stupidity is relative.

There once was a couple from Lubek
who seemed to have trouble in the sack
truth was they knew nothin'
sent the Mrs. to Mudstuffin
now they can't get her to go back

Who makes up this stuff?

One word ANANOVA. You should read it as The Enquirer. Samething, only the internet version.

LOL, mudstuffin; that is really, really good.

Umm...Okay.

To do a fertility study on a guy, you need to look at his sperm. To do that, you have to get them out of...em....er...there.

So obviously the guy knew SOMETHING about what happens to make babies.

I just don't buy this story.

"the university clinic undertakes a study to try to find out if there are more couples with a similar lack of sex education."

Can you imagine the questions on this survey?

1. How often do you have sex?

2. Do you know how to have sex?

3. I mean, do you ever make Mr. Happy go "choo-choo" at the train station?

4. Does he use the front door?

5. What is your planet of origin?

I have a friend who just went the whole fertility thing. They gave him about a twenty page questioneer to fill out before did any tests. He said his wife complained that the questions were too explicit (i.e how often, what positions etc.) They were also given some literature of common causes of infertility and some solutions to these problems. This was done long before he ever saw a specialist. I think this problem would have been "fleshed" out after about two questions.

A friend once had to go through this sort of testing, and was asked to produce a sample, yunowudamean. The clinic had a room with a lockable door, porn, etc. My friend got the directions mixed up, and ended up in a public restroom, where he proceded to actually produce a sample. This is both amazing and zen-like. Funnier if you know the guy, a real button-down engineer type.

Kudos Mudstuffin, personally like #3 Mr. Happy goes "choo-choo". Good one!

OH PUNKY!? You need to weigh in too! Wouldn't be the same without you!

Mudstuffin, great survey questions!

I too would tend to doubt this one. While yes, there ARE people who are that stupid, they usually are the ones with 8 kids running around the trailer park, unwashed, uneducated and unclean.

There was actually a MAD TV skit just like this, except that the couple said they tried to get a baby by praying to a magical stork.

Doctor: So let me get this straight...you've spent five years praying to a magical stork?
Husband: ...and still no baby!

Isn't chocolate already pretty orgasmic?

Orgasmic Chocolate WBAGNFARB.

I want some of that! :)

BTW...is the MOAT working yet? I tried to post to it this morning, and no dice! :(

My answers were REM and chocolate oranges.

Sure Punky. It's mind boggling, isn't it?

Punky?

[checks for pods]

Hmmm.

[muses to self]
She's normally among the cleverest of the bunch. . . and most prolific. Maybe an off day?

[note to self]
Stop by Hallmark for "off day" card . . . or better still, "dial-a-'colada"

Ah,

much better.

[crosses off "Hallmark for Punky"]

I, too, wonder what religion these people belong to. After all, Christianity has Song of Soloman, which describes in nearly pornographic detail King Soloman's relations with his wife. Hindus have the Kama Sutra. I'm sure there's a corresponding Muslim text, etc.

The Kama Sutra is tied to religion? Ya learn something new every day.

No problem Punky. Some things just defy logic or good old animal lust. What's this world coming to if even our prim oral instincts are gone?

And just when you thought you'd heard everything.

Reminds me of the story about .... but I digress.

... and, no, that wasn't a typo..... ;)

Let em' learn, I say! No surprise they didn't.

These things do happen.

ur, insert his nose was what I was thinking.

Wow, never saw this test before, but here's what it said:
Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 595

I guess it's been a long, full life, or atleast thelast 10 years were...

Wow...usually married people at least start out having sex.

"After the therapist finally explained exactly how the whole sex thing worked, the German wife replied: 'Ich denke, daß ich Kopfschmerzen habe!'"

LOL BMX3, and thank goodness for the eternal babelfish (.altavista.com)...

They should start up a rock band, and call it The Sonic Chronic Platonics.

Nah...

oh man... this gal must be married to my ex husband. But he isn't from Lubek.

Actually, the guy's dad told him he had to put his weiner in her saurkraut. The guy took the advice and opened up a chain of German restaurants.

Put me down for 380.

330. Hmm, guess I should get busy!

good goddamn. how kinky am i? SIXTY-EIGHT. ::hangs head in shame::

I guess I'll be contented with 440 ... of course, now I'm all horny.

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