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April 23, 2004


We have guys doing stuff like this.

(Thanks to Brad Buset)


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koolio, i heart you!

Wouldn't it be easier to just walk down the hall and get it out of the machine? Another "doctor" who has too much time on his hands.

Notice it's in Florida. Is Florida really part of Australia?

My husband is petitioning his boss for this. Lazy engineers.

Jeff, are you lacking the male gadget gene or something? Every guy needs one of these, even if he drinks Diet Coke.

Wouldn't it be easier to just get married and have your wife get your drinks while she's up anyway looking for your remote?

Lily - Yes.

With gadgets like the Segway and Koolio, it's a miracle that everyone in this country doesn't weigh 400 pounds.

Lily that cracked me the hell up

Well, I have been married for 24 years, so I should know.

These aren't guys, these are just geeks. A "guy" would have included a perpetual beer generator thus eliminating the need to refill.

Okay ... so if you're drinking all that diet coke (or beer, as Boo suggested) what do you do when the inevitable happens?

I'm not sure I want to see the robot they'd invent to handle that ... or to contemplate what they'd call it ...

Key Quote: "It locates room 326 and delivers Dr. Nechyba his Diet Coke thus averting disaster."

This is totally cool, and very necessary. I tried the get married and have my wife get my drinks method. It only worked for the first 3 months

Its amazing what office thirst has done for the advancement of civilization…if I remember correctly the first webcam was developed so researchers at MIT would know if the coffee pot was full without wasting their time walking to the break room.

Exactly, orcel.

Some people don't realize that it's this kind of supposedly "useless" creativity and experimentation that benefit society as a whole in important ways. It's all about problem-solving and practical application of technology, folks. If you think this was invented by people with "too much time on their hands" then you obviously don't understand what it means to think for a living, or even as a hobby.

But what happens when it runs out???? Will it run to the store and stock up? I mean fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and it runs out of beer, will it run to the liquor store and get more?

Stephen King's: "The Koolio"

Dr. Smirkypants thought "I'm thirsty!" He pushed the Diet Coke button on his belt and listened for the comforting hum of the Koolio 6000 as it made it's way to room 320.


Got to get something done about that voice. But still, this is great - thought Dr. S.

Too late, he notes it's a REGULAR COKE!


If a woman designed Koolio, it would deliver a plate of steamed vegetables and a non-alcoholic beer to "Bud" in the living room, and it would last for exactly ONE trip.

Alas poor Bud. I knew him well.

Curse you, Punky!

You know - that garbage isn't going to ignore itself! You'll miss us. Oh yes you will.

I would miss the men. The machines that replace them aren't, I mean couldn't possibly be the same as a real man.

Let's make a slight change in the story:

The patient in room 326 is out of water and the nurse is busy filling out paperwork for Medicare.

See the change?

Yes it's fun now, but the idea could do a lot of good in the future.

Take a look at laughing gas. It was a party drug, and then somebody said, "Hey -- what if we gave this to a patient. Then he won't try to bite us when we pull his tooth."

It takes a lot of work to invent something that some spoil-sport can't turn into a useful device.

*This is totally cool, and very necessary. I tried the get married and have my wife get my drinks method. It only worked for the first 3 months*

Perhaps you should try doing the laundry. My dear husband does all the laundry. So if he asks me to bring him a drink or find his remote, of course I'll do it.


Nope. He does an excellent job. The kids bring their friends to watch him fold shirts. Really. Better than a clown.


Are all your clothes pink?"

ROTHFLMAO! Thus, why I am only allowed to wash whites and whites alone!

Honey, will you get me a beer?

Did you do the laundry?


Tough noogies, then.

So I guess a bj is right out?

Mom - can I go watch Judi's dad fold the shirts?

Yes, but you HAVE to leave when Lily gets ready to reward him this time, OK

Orcel sez: "This is totally cool, and very necessary. I tried the get married and have my wife get my drinks method. It only worked for the first 3 months ."

You haven't returned her to her docking station often enough. Dock her correctly, and she'll continue to bring you beer for a lifetime. I suspect even Punky's batteries get run down occaisionally, resulting in her just needing a good docking.

What about the guy who invented the gizmo that threw beer cans to you from across the room? Now THAT one was worthwhile!

Lily, good one, even though I must state in all fairness that in this marriage I'm the one who fetches and carries for the wife. Admittedly, that is after many years of the more common way, much like your own marriage I dare say. And yes, I do the laundry too. (Yes, Andy, I am a real man, just an incredibly enlightened and helpful one.)

But Punky, a woman would never think of inventing cool stuff like that, would she? Or velcro, the one thing we've gotten out of 40 years of space exploration. But you use it, don't you? (I rest my case, your honor.)

*a woman would never think of inventing cool stuff like that, would she?*

With an atttitude like that, I don't wonder why you need to fetch your own drinks.

This is my alma mater...

*wipes a tear from her eye*

yeah Jeff, that was VERY insensitive.

Of COURSE a woman would think of inventing cool stuff like that.

She just wouldn't have a clue how to build it. That's all.

*She just wouldn't have a clue how to build it. That's all*

Ha! We have people to do that for us. These guys think that they are avoiding work by inventing AND building these things.

You notice WE don't have to do either.

That's all I'm tryna do Bangi_gurl, relieve you of your headache ;-)

Is this Valerie for real, eadn??

Sure, she can "Dress or undress herself." and
"Have a sense of touch all over like people do."
What Valerie will NOT be able to do:
"Put her head under water." OR
"Take any water or other liquids into her head or mouth"

Ha! Just don't let all that power go to your heads, ladies.

No wait. Do. Do let it.

What Valerie will NOT be able to do:

Eat or drink


Perform other bodily functions.

Hurt people (Asimov's first law)

Have sex.


Yes, jody, the link was actually one of Dave's or judi's previous blog-posts.

With an android guy to take care of outside, the Lady of the Manor and I would be free to handle any "liquid" pursuits ;-)

B-Girl, I ALWAYS get a permit.

It's pretty embarassing paying a ticket on that sort of thing...

Come on, guys, lighten up, it was a joke! Can't we all just get along?

Anyway, all I meant was that some of these fun (but silly and mostly useless from a real world point of view) things are not generally things women would think of (for good reason, perhaps).

Thanks eadn, I don't know how I missed that one. We definitely need a fine tuned male one.

jody, if I touch your last comment, I'll probably land myself in a heap o' trouble! ;-)

Bangi_gurl, Can I make that reservations for two? :-)

Punky Dear, ya done stepped on my brain wave! :-)

Boa? As in boa constrictor? Hmmm......

Simply Put:
I want one.

Punky, you don't even need your bare hands...

I'm glad I'm not sheltered...cause if I were...some things y'all say, I'm sure would make me have a nervous breakdown.

Punky, you don't even need your bare hands...
Posted by: Lee on April 23, 2004 04:07 PM

Excellent observation, Lee.

PunkyVision Inc.®

Chief Executive Officer: Con
Chief Financial Officer: Punky Brewster
Chaos Instigation Officer: MeL
Chief Tactile Officer: eadn
Chief Oo-la-la Officer: Amber Leann
International Affairs: Bangladeshi_gurl
Legal Eagle: Eykis
Research & Development: Lee
Secretary of Morale: Blogchik
Internal Affairs: Mike and Graz
Executive Producer: Psychocat =^..^=
Prop Mistress: judi
Musical Director: Djtonyb
Executive Popsicle Fluffer: rita2398
Producer "Sensual Desserts" Starring Lily
Weasel of Death and Taxes: grimreaper

Mission Statement: We promise to make Punkyvision well worth every viewer's time and money!

Corporate Slogon:
"We'll put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the randys. Arrr, that should do it."

*hands MeL another hotdog*

This thread is like a spectator sport, MeL, I'm just watching this one from the couch. Now where's that remote? Tune in Punkyvision.

Yo! Con! What happened to twopuppies as MC?! Did he resign or was he prosecuted?

Yer right alex. AAAUGH!

Now, Bangi_Gurl might just strangle my penguin with her feathered boa! :-)

alex, I can only hope that Bangi_Gurl is as understanding. On the other hand, jiggly! that might be one flaming I'd get off on! ;-)

I see #300 is just up ahead on the "first post" line. Any takers?

What was for dinner B_gurl? Actually, believe it or not, I had a sausage. Close enough?

You guys are a hoot.

We will always need men . . . or, at least until they find a replacement for mayonnaise jars.

alex, as a matter of note, I once asked us all about timezones. Near as I can tell, Bangi_Gurl is about half-a-day 'round from me, thus she's gettin' ready for bed just as I'm gettin' up!

Hell, Jeff, jest set it up idlin' nicely, watch out for the LTTG virus, and floor it! :-)

Lmd33, I AIN'T EVEN GONNA ASK! (your statement is as disturbing as Ken's mound, hand-puppets, and other assorted toys ;-)

We will always need men . . . or, at least until they find a replacement for mayonnaise jars.
Posted by: Lmd33 on April 23, 2004 06:38 PM

Sigh. I suppose I'll state the obvious:

Some dumb gadget guy will create a vibrating mayonnaise jar and officially render men obsolete.

Orcel - Thanks for the webcam story! Now I have another little anecdote with which to regale the pre-college tour groups here at the Institvte.
And I guarantee you, my dorm would have one of these by now if we had larger floors instead of eight tiny ones connected by skinny staircases.

Con? I'm still wondering about the apparent loss of twopuppies as MC in your latest? PunkyVision post up there. You may email me if it's personal, but the man has always deserved my recognition!



Read your email.


Con, Punky, it is done.


No vibrating machine will ever open mayonnaise jars as well as a man, in my book.

I can open my own mayonnaise jar. And machines tend to scare me...so I guess I still have a need for a man. ;)

Well, I'm right here ;)

Aww, Lmd33 and MeL I heart you both :)

Alex-to bad right here, is far away ;)

Con-aww! I heart me too! :)

I'm back from Huntsville...what did I miss?

btw ....not only are they overteched...they need to work on their language skills:

"It navigates the hall way with a verity of instruments:"

Spell much?

Hey! alex! I went and got a Kevlar outfit for You too! Shall we both stand side-by-side unyielding to the spam or snake trying to cross the river?! :-)

Dunno if it'll help against Punky, but I'll still stand by you man-to-man and Hope Bangi_Gurl doesn't decide to Flame me for takin' her 69!!!! ;-)

verily what you say is verifiable Grammar God...but don't you think they mean variety of instruments? Or maybe context doesn't mean on your planet what it means here on Xorogon

Alex I suggest wearing the kevlar vest even if you are imbued with God-like powers. You can never be too safe.

I wonder if it could be converted to carry my shopping bags? No need for a boyfriend anymore.

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