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April 21, 2004

CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE

Now they want to take away our basic constitutional right to dig trenches across roads.

(Thanks to Jessica R.)

Comments

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Your Honor, I can't explain it. It's just one freakishly odd pothole. Really.

Yay! First Alliance (twice), now a guy in Massillon doing stoopid things. I'm proud, PROUD, I tell you, to be from Canton, Ohio, located PROUDLY between these two fine cities. Of course I moved the hell out as soon as I could, but that's not the point. Though these posts do tend to remind me why that was...

When I was growing up in Topeka, we had a couple of people who would get up to 55-60 mph on our road. The speed limit was 40 mph. Our neighbor across the street had a great idea. He found an old tricycle and hid behind some bushes in the ditch. Oncoming traffic could not see him. When a young man caming speeding through, the neighbor gently pushed the tricycle out into the path of the car. Of course, the tricycle was totaled. The young man was shaken up pretty badly, crying all over the place because he thought he'd killed a toddler.

The young man learned his lesson.

Since the guy has already agreed to fill in the trench, why doesn't he just go ahead and build a speedbump while he's at it?

When my kids were younger, the cars on my block would speed down the road when they were supposed to be doing 25 MPH. I would stand on my lawn with my blowdryer pointed at the car (it looks like a hand-held radar when you are driving by fast). It usually slowed them down...Our town had handed out a few hand held radar devices to some vocal residents to "record" if there really were speeders on their streets.

MOTW & Elaine: Great stories! Very creative. I love the idea of you standing on your lawn "clocking" them with a hair dryer.

I don't think the guy was wrong either, though perhaps a speed bump might have been better. A student at the school where my wife used to teach was killed by an idiot in a car driving around a school bus, so anything you can do to slow these jerks down is worth the trouble.

Punky, you're right. I know I've seen that in books and movies: you get a chain with spikes, lay it across the road, then remove it after the fiery crash. No muss, no fuss, no arrest.

Spikes, Punky? The guy isn't trying to shut down the road altogether. Now if you invent speed detecting spikes, I'll invest.

New! Brought to you by PunkCo: Speed Spikes! Impress your friends, aggravate your enemies, make your neighborhood safe. So easy to use, too! (cut to shot of June Beaver in dress and sensible pumps laying a strip of Speed Spikes across road. June flashes a big smile at the camera - isn't she pretty?)

"Ward and I were discussing speeding cars in our neighborhood at dinner last week. Then Beaver showed us a magazine article with this wonderful product. Ward ordered it right away. This is our third installation this week. Watch this demo to see what happens ..."

(cut to video of Crash Dummies traveling at high velocity. As they approach the Speed Spikes, their programmed probes automatically sense the car is exceeding the speed limit and they pop up to implant themselves in the tires. The car is stopped in its tracks. Cut to shot of uniformed police officers arresting the thug, dressed in black leather jacket, head hanging in shame. Cut back to smiling June.)

"We love Speed Spikes, and you will too!"

(Must be 18 years or older to order. Not available in all states. Void where prohibited.)

Oh, I gotta get in on this!

MOTW, Excellent advertisement! :-)

Tennman, Punky, I'd like to make an investment in your fine product!

I live on a dead end street, but near the front, so if I don't have the teenagers charging to and from home, I got an older guy in a yellow Porsche that has to do 0 - 60 just to get to the intersection.

oh awesome add MOTW!
let's callem SpeedSpikers...

alex, good thought!

Tennman, Punky, whaddayasay to multi-packs?!

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