ADVISORY

We keep getting email from people, some of them irate, who want this blog to fix the clock, because apparently this blog is off by an hour. In response, we would like to say that: (1) We don't know how to fix the damn clock, and (2) If you are relying on this blog for the accurate time, or anything else that involves accuracy, then you are on the wrong blog. This blog is about issues. Thank you.

The time at the tone is eleventeen hundred hours centigrade. BEEP.

Comments

[Lily]

Aw, schucks. I was just tryin' to do my part.

*feeds popcicles to action figures and when they do not immediately explode, feels better.*

Brownies for every one!! (with the imaginary ingredients of your choice ;)

[BMX3]

Actually it's not WHAT clock, it's WATT Clock as in 100 Watt Clock, which is a good name for a band in the U.K. The lead singer's name is Julius Siezure, which is also a good name for a rock singer.

[mike]

The lunatic is now officially in my head......

Dear lord

[Con]

*Revision*

Ok, dj, Punky sent me the memo. Welcome aboard!
*hands dj a company tee-shirt*

PunkyVision Inc.®

CEO: Con
CFO: Punky Brewster
CIO: MeL
CTO: eadn
COO: Amber Leann
CEO: International: Bangladeshi_gurl
Legal Eagle: Eykis
R&D (Merchandise): Lee
Secretary of Morale: Blogchik
Internal Affairs: Mike and Graz
Executive Producer: Psychocat =^..^=
Prop Mistress: judi
Musical Director: Djtonyb

Mission Statement: We promise to make Punkyvision well worth every viewer's time and money!

Corporate Slogon:
"We'll put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the men, that should do it." (Borrowed from C. W. McColl)

[Blogchik]

I'm back, LTTG as usual, and I have this to add: This thread is now longer. Hoo-yah. ({---Armyspeak for 'great.')

[Blogchik]

Dude, we are now up to 410 posts. Only 40 more and we are at the 450 mark. Can we hit 500? That is the burning question!

[Con]

*hands Blogchik a cherry popsicle*

Here, boost your morale, babe :)

[Blogchik]

Thanks, Con! Whatta pal! :)

[eadn]

Thanks for the update, Con!

Welcome djtonyb! (by the way, dinner was croissant pizzas, Clint handled the *BLAM* pretty well without my help ;-)

[Lily]

I notice that your corporation does not have an official caterer. How sad. You'll all starve.
Of course, you also don't have a technical crew either, so you'll starve in the dark. Much more tragic. - But what the hey, at least you'll have rum so it's all good.

[Lily]

Well, I'll think over your kind offer. However, I am really more of a baker than a caterer. The kind of baker who bakes cakes for everyone's birthday at work and brings them to the office. But. . . since you don't have an office. . .

[Lily]

No

[jimARK]

I'm a newcomer to The Blog, but I gather that this thread is close to a record. Exactly how many posts do we (you, whatever) need to have to break the previous record?

[jimARK]

Oh, and for bonus points: What was the currently-record-length thread about? Just curious.

[jimARK]

Or perhaps absolutely everything. I've been surfing around here for several days, and now I know that frozen squirrels CAN be related to, well, anything--given enough excess time and creativity. :)

[Punky Brewster]

It lives! This will be the thread that NEVER dies.

That is all.

A comment about nothing but the topic of nothing.

What the hell was the original thread about to begin with?

I assume it is safe to bring out my potty mouth on this thread, as those who hate how we post about nothing will clearly stay FAR away from a thread with over 400 posts, no? I mean, that would be the sensible thing to do, and everyone on this here blog is in their right senses, so one would conclude that three out of four giant squid prefer Levitra to Viagra, right?

Oh, and for the sake of prosperity ... f*ck!

[djtonyb]

Atta girl, Punky! If the trolls don't find us amusing, they seem to be reading an awful lot of this blog. Also, the last report that I heard from the giant squid was that Cialis was gaining ground. Along with low, low, low rates on your next mortgage, and with bigger breasts!

[djtonyb]

P. S., free teen porn not included, your mileage may vary.

[jimARK]

Gaah. My eyes are burning!!!! Never mind that few of my classmates can actually describe anything without the adjective form of f*ck. :)

[Punky Brewster]

*sirens go off*

Code Red! Code Red! Security breach on the blog. I repeat, security breach on the blog. All bloglits are instructed to grab their frozen squirrels, Popsicles and taser guns and hide under the closest available desk.

[that was for Alex]

[Lily]

Well, Alex, I have just noticed and I hope you feel all grown up now that you can type a whole bad word. Sheesh

[jimARK]

Rats. I just hung one of my squirrels out to putrefy for a few days in preparation for my interview for the position of Official Caterer for PunkyVision. Now I only have five. Will that be enough?

[jimARK]

BTW, unless my count is off, this is post number 434. Just 18 more to make history! I can already feel the warm spot growing around my heart.

[eadn]

alex, if you've got some Inebriated Innocence Elixir ready to go, can ya send a bottle my way?!

Lily, ya want one two?!

[eadn]

Damn alex! I wish I'd known that before I popped one more frozen dinner in the oven!

[Lily]

No thanks on the elixir. Wouldn't fool my hubby a bit I'm sure ;)

[Lily]

jimARK,
Five should be plenty if you strech it with some putrified squid. You want to make sure you mix-em up together a few days ahead of time to let the flavors meld.

[djtonyb]

Alex: If you haven't rushed out and gotten the books yet, Infocom also released a text adventure game in conjunction with the HHGTTG books. You can play online here.

Hint: Get up and put on your bathrobe.

PS, Long live Zork!

[djtonyb]

...erm, before you can put on the robe, you have to get up and turn on the light. Sorry. No more hints from here.

[Punky Brewster]

Hints! What hints?! What are we guessing? Why wasn't I invited? Hey! Come back!

[Doug Brockmeier]

TWO FOOTLONGS.

[eadn]

Hell, now I'm lost in the Mini-taur's labyrinth. Good thing time is of no essence ('cept for dinner :-)

Whaddahey! One more for the Guinness-drunk Blog Post of the year!

[Con]

PunkyVision Inc.®

CEO: Con
CFO: Punky Brewster
CIO: MeL
CTO: eadn
COO: Amber Leann
CEO: International: Bangladeshi_gurl
Legal Eagle: Eykis
R&D (Merchandise): Lee
Secretary of Morale: Blogchik
Internal Affairs: Mike and Graz
Executive Producer: Psychocat =^..^=
Prop Mistress: judi
Musical Director: Djtonyb
Executive Popsicle Fluffer: rita2398
Producer "Sensual Deserts" Starring Lily

[eadn]

Thanks yet&yetagain, Con!

I done started copying&pasting the roster into a file on my harddrive wit each update! :-)

Jiggly, I don't wanna miss a thiinng!

[eadn]

Match, Game, and Set!

Anyone wanna take the title?!

[eadn]

alex WINS! Not by one nose but two!

Congratulations! (Damn, but I've got to be less "honorable"? ;-)

[djtonyb]

Alex: Simplify, simplify *hic*, simplify. Some of the best games have no graphic interface. I have been a huge fan of Infocom's games since I started with my little Commodore 64, and though there are many games that have come to the forefront since, a simple text based game can be just silly enough to capture your attention for a few hours and make you think, as opposed to react.

[djtonyb]

hehehehehehe! It's a lot like being here on the blog, except maybe more surreal. It helps a little if you've read the books, but not a lot.

[Punky Brewster]

OK, I see my work here is done. Boys, I expect the number to cap out somewhere near 580. Don't disappoint me, boys.

I'm off to bed. ;)

G'night.

[djtonyb]

G'night Punky!

[Doug Brockmeier]

TWO FOOTLONGS.

[jimARK]

Wow. A feeling of awe is just overwhelming me. We have shattered the old record and crowned ourselves Long Thread Champions of the Blog.
I might have gotten number 452 if djtonyb hadn't linked to that stupid (read: inexplicably enjoyable) text game.

Now, if I could figure out how to keep the crazy bulldozer from knocking over my house and hitting me with a stray brick...

[djtonyb]

JimARK, one more spoiler. When you get onto the Vogon ship, you'll need the Babelfish to understand what's being said.

[djtonyb]

But first you'll need to go to the pub and drink beer with Ford. *hic* G'night all!

[Doug Brockmeier]

Hey, "Tony" rhymes with "Jabroni." No offense.

[jimARK]

Thanks. I've never played any text games before, so it'll probably be a while before I get onto the Vogon ship. :(
Is there anywhere to download a version that will allow me to save my games? It gets really tiresome needing to start over every time you mess up.

And good morning Punky (assuming I'm too late to say good night)

[Lily]

Con,
Would that be desserts or deserts. I'm not really into sand all that much:)
nighty, nighty, all

[djtonyb]

Doug:

Bonana fana fe fi moni, Tony! Let's do Doug!

[jimARK]

*posting this just to make this record stand a little longer*

G'night everyone. Hope your dreams aren't populated with the frozen remains of drug-dealing squirrels as they're eaten by giant squid...

[djtonyb]

*not sure if anyone got that last post except for Dave*

Does anyone else know the song?

[Graz]

dj, it's the name game song.

Banan nana bo bana fee fie fo fana ...ad naseum..

See, I actually do my job for a day and the long standing record of which I was so proud is broken.

*sniff, snort, BRAAACK, sniffle*

OK , long live the new record!

[Gregg]

jimARK:

Go HERE.

First, download WinFrotz and extract all of the files in it into a directory.

Then, download the SECOND link to the Hitchhiker's game. (The first one, HHGG.Z5, didn't work for me, but the file named HHGG2.Z5 worked.)

Then with both files in the same directory, simply drag HHGG2.Z5 on top of WINFROTZ.EXE. The game will launch. You have a save game option. Just type SAVE to save, and RESTORE to restore. Or use the File menu.

Hope this helps.

[Gregg]

Oops, the link didn't work. Guess I botched it up.

Here it is: http://www.latz.org/infocom/

[Punky Brewster]

*sigh*

477. You boys let me down.

Hopefully you were doing something a bit more productive and fun with your time (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

*ponders for a sec*

You were playing text games, weren't ya?

Oh, and Good Morning to you, jimARK. :)

[Blogchik]

Good morning, bloglits!

Just doing my part to make the Long Post longer. It often behooves one to make long things longer. And make long things last longer.

So may the Record Long Post last long. :)

[Blogchik]

Post number 478. Hoo-yah! :)

Let it be noted that I was the Very First Poster on this thread. Not that it matters all that much or anything, but by noting such, I am making the thread longer.

TGIF.

[Blogchik]

Correction: The last post was actually number 479, which makes this post

Number 480.

C'mon guys! Only 20 more to go and we break 500! MeL and alex can do that easy as pie just between the two of them flirting.

[Blogchik]

Punky, or you and I could just chat about the weather.

Is it ever going to get warm! C'mon! It's practically May here!

Like that.

I would flirt with the available menfolk, but they are commenting about something else, I guess.

[jimARK]

Thanks Gregg. Now I'll have something with which to while away my time while still acting like I'm writing my papers. :)

[Blogchik]

Hi jimARK! Do you need your morale improved?

[jimARK]

P.S. Good morning everyone. I could have said it in my last post, but I decided this would better futher The Cause.
And Blogchick, I would love to flirt with you, but I have to go to work. :(
I guess this'll have to do...
*winks goodbye*

[Blogchik]

*winks back*

Now, Yoo hoo! MeL! Alex! We need your posting skills over here to take us to 500 and beyond.

[Blogchik]

Post Number 488!

[Blogchik]

DC area weather: sunny but chilly. Had to scrape frost off my car this morning. The cherry blossoms have come and gone.

I want a little warm spring weather before summer (read: sauna) lands on us like a ton of cement.

[dor]

dear punky brewster,

no, the 'trying too hard' wasn't intended just for you.

dor

[dor]

BMX3,

no, it was just 'wee'

dor

[Lily]

Okay, so Con, I'm in the Mojave.

*watches exquisiteTaj Mahal melt into the sand, vainly hoping that the flowers that have popped up around the sodden remains of the Epic History of Squirrels as Blunt Objects ice sculpture grows tall enough to shade what is left of the fine chocolate, spun sugar and marzipan DESSERT so it is at least edible. Though, sadly, no longer recognizable.*

You know I really can't work under these conditions. I just don't know how you expect me to. I am a Star I tell you. A STAR.

*Stamps little foot in disgust and flounces off.*

[Blogchik]

Comment number 495!

[Lily]

499

[Lily]

Well Alex,

Basking isn't all it's cracked up too be. I just had to fend off a rattlesnake for the last piece of shade. If I don't get out of this sensual desert soon . . .

I mean really one day you are posting a record & the next day you are in some GOD FORSAKEN DESERT.

[Blogchik]

....So what number are we on now?

[markhh]

Of course, it right that a woman should have the last word [1], but I will post anyway. After all, this noble thread should not be allowed the die off.

[1] Assuming, that is that 'chik' in Blogchik can be taken as the vernacular for woman rather than as a misrendering of "young chicken".

[eadn]

Punky, I agree ;-)

[Blogchik]

markh, glad you asked. My sig was originally "Blognik," using the Russian ending meaning "-er." But then I remembered there's also an ending "-chik" which is a diminuative...basically, the Russian version of 'bloglit.' I came up with it (Blognik) when everybody was coining the phrase bloglit, anyhow. Now I wish I had chosen something more interesting, but everybody knows me as Blognik/Blogchik so no point changing it now.

I decided to go with the Blogchik version rather than Blognik because Blogchik implies 'blog chick' and I definitely am in the chick category.

So your deduction is correct.

Hi alex! Do you need any morale improvement? ;)

[markhh]

and I definitely am in the chick category.

Which statement is still ambiguous.

Of course. I should have recognized that from 'apparatchik' (sp? lit. 'little party').

Hmmm ... kind of like the french ending 'ette', which Americans have a habit of assuming is female. (Cigarette - little cigar). of course the linguistic gender of words ending in 'ette' tend to be feminine, but still.

'blogette' - na.
'blogeuse' - really na.
'blogchen' - even worse, even if it is German.

Anybody still awake?

[Lee]

It's THE THREAD THAT WOULD NOT DIE!

Soon, it will grow large enough to break free and rampage around the internet consuming mass quantities of time, productivity and humor.

Ah Oh. I think we're too late...

[Blogchik]

markh, um, DUH, chick of the female persuasion...

Sorry, alex, you're a little young for me...I can bat my eyelashes in your general direction, though. {bat, bat}

Long live the eternal thread, indeed! Now alex and MeL, make sure you post a ton on it tonight so we can hit the 600 mark, wilya?

[Lily]

So now we have a quota?

Is this going to be like a real job where we all have to chip in a do our bit for the projected production outlook for the fiscal year?

Cool job though, the pay is slightly less than I am used to, but the job satisfaction is higher.

[Con]

I am SO Sorry, Lily! I didn'y mean to leave you in the Mojave. Blogchik, rita, let's attend to Lily's morale and comfort.

*hugs Lily and kisses her ring*

Revision #15

PunkyVision Inc.®

Chief Executive Officer: Con
Chief Financial Officer: Punky Brewster
Chaos Instigation Officer: MeL
Chief Tactile Officer: eadn
Chief Oo-la-la Officer: Amber Leann
International Affairs: Bangladeshi_gurl
Legal Eagle: Eykis
Research & Development: Lee
Secretary of Morale: Blogchik
Internal Affairs: Mike and Graz
Executive Producer: Psychocat =^..^=
Prop Mistress: judi
Musical Director: Djtonyb
Executive Popsicle Fluffer: rita2398
Producer "Sensual Desserts" Starring Lily
Weasel of Death and Taxes: grimreaper

Mission Statement: We promise to make Punkyvision well worth every viewer's time and money!

Corporate Slogon:
"We'll put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the randys. Arrr, that should do it."

[eadn]

Thanks Much and yetagain Con! Especially for clarifying my title :-)

grimreaper, Welcome! So you were the one lurking around my condo yesterday! ;-)

[MeL]

Alex I'm beginning to think they keep us around to do all the dirty work because we're the "youngn's"

[markhh]

blogchik:markh, um, DUH, chick of the female persuasion...

I figured. Unless you were related to the subservient chicken. Or a socket puppet for the giant squid.

blogchik:Sorry, alex, you're a little young for me...

You'll never make it in Hollywood with that attitude. Of course, that assumes alex is confortable with "boy toy".

[Lily]

Thank you very muchly Con,

I have found the desert very educational though.

Lily's Top Ten Things I Learned in the Desert.

10. Do not ride to the desert on a horse with no name. You cannot call him when it is time to leave.

6. Tanning in the desert is more like being incinerated than tanning.

5.If you use a really good grade of chocolate, it doesn't taste too bad, even with sand on it.

4. The desert looks like it is drab and boring, but really there is a lot of color there. (You need to look at the sun for a long, long time before you can see it though)

3. Rattlesnakes can be shooed away easily and their shade taken with a backpack of thawing squirrels, because, unlike humans, snakes do not eat carrion. The sight of dead animals really creeps them out.

2. There is no fine grade of dead squirrel. Sand or no sand.

Annnd the number one thing I learned in the desert is......

1. Do not store your towel or your electronic thumb in your saddle bags. See item 10.

Thank you all for such an educational experience:)

*Bows graciously, if a little unsteadily*

[markhh]

hoopy frood indeed. But if your not reciting Vogon poetry, you haven't been in the desert long enough.

[Lily]

markhh,

Goop I implore thee, my Joonting turlingdromes.

And boobtiously drangle me withcrinkly bindlewurdles.

Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my burglecruncheon. See if I don't.

So there:P

*the effort is too much collapses in heap*

[MeL]

And Blogchik isn't the army thing actually Hoo-ah?

[Lee]

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh! Not the poetry!

[Con]

Alex I'm beginning to think they keep us around to do all the dirty work because we're the "youngn's"
Posted by: MeL on April 16, 2004 04:55 PM

No way, MeL. Mi amiga, you're much too valuable to us as center of the universe. This blog would be lost without you.

*Psst, MeL,Your chaos is showing when the light is begind you*

[Con]

ooops, beHind you :)

[MeL]

Oh let it show! I've got nothing to hide..except for, as you already know Con, that time in Tijuana with the body in the trunk..

[Doug Brockmeier]

I know I've said this before, but no one has seemed to take notice: TWO FOOTLONGS.

[eadn]

Doug, Good Man, I've noticed, but you either can eat more large hotdogs than my digestion can handle or you have a certain aberration in the nether region or did you want cheese with that?! ;-)

[Lily]

*Having freshened up a bit and chugged a few liters of Coke a Cola, Lily returns*

Thank you Con, ever so much for getting me out of that horrid desert. You are my hero.

To the rest of you, dessert orders will now be taken.

[chris]

for people interested in the hitchhiker's guide movie, here is some very interesting news
from fansite magrathea

Citing the Hollywood Reporter as their source, this morning (just after I left for work!) Reuters broke the news that John Malkovich has been cast as a new, Douglas Adams-created character called Humma Kavula. Malkovich’s many film roles include an android in Making Mr Right, film director FW Murnau in Shadow of the Vampire, Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde in Mary Reilly and of course himself in Being John Malkovich (directed by Spike Jonze, whose recommendation brought Hammer and Tongs aboard the HHGG movie).

This is the first confirmation that the screenplay will differ very significantly from the novel, the radio series and all previous versions of Hitchhiker’s Guide. But who is Humma Kavula? I can exclusively reveal that he is a ‘crazed missionary’ who has travelled to Viltvodle VI in an attempt to convert the many-armed Jatravartids (a race and planet which are mentioned in the books) from their belief in the Great Green Arkleseizure and the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief. Furthermore I can confirm that Anna Chancellor’s character is also new; she plays the Vice-President of the Galaxy, a being named Questular.

[Con]

Welcme, Lily. Feel better after ya got all the sand out of your.. uh... thong, dear?

[Lily]

At last! A movie that actually admits it is going to "differ significantly" from the book and every version of it's story that has come before.

So it has come to this. Having tried everything else, Hollywood finally resorts to truth in advertising. Hmmmmmm. Perhaps people will be gratefull that their hopes and expectations are not raised by misleading ads only to be dashed by the actual product. And perhaps that gratitude might be translated into ticket sales.

It's so crazy, it just might work.

Thank you for the info Chris. Have a brownie:)

[Lily]

My Dear Hero Con,

You got me out of the desert but it's also your fault I was there in the first place. So inquiries about my footwear will not be tolerated.

And yea, I'm old enough to remember when flip flops were called thongs and they were refering to footwear:)

[eadn]

Yes, chris, Thanks for not only your enlightenment, but that I still need to shovel through my boxed-up books to see if I've not only got, but read, the last (fifth ;-) one...so many years ago! :-)

[eadn]

Con, 'ware the snakes in the desert. Such cuckolding is unbecoming. Need I say more?

[Con]

Nice save, Lily! They call those FLIP FLOPS now? (I was 13 when "Sweet Caroline" was released).