SPECKLES THE CHICKEN UPDATE

The fowlnapping is solved.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Comments

[The Bob]

Claire.... you can do better than this!

I tried to find something funny with this, but it keeps coming back to a story about forced seperation, misguided attempts to help, and a sad, sad ending which included felony charges (although, I did expect to read that they had saved the bird from mistreatment and then deep fried it)....

[Graz]

"Honest Officer, I stopped by the electronics store for a video tape and that 56 inch plasma TV seemed frightened. The store was closed and there was no one around."

[TWS]

Free the Chickens!

[The Bob]

I'm not so sure about that, Punky... the article doesn't mention a "rooster" when he saved that poor bird (and, wouldn't this fowlnapper have taken both of them?)... But, suddenly, when it was returned, there's a rooster... where was the rooster when the hen needed it? I'm not sure this is such a wonderful reunion!

[Jessica]

No no, the guy that stole the chicken bought her some chicken companions - a hen and a rooster - sort of foster parents for Speckles. Here is a case of a guy up on charges for doing a good deed, "rescuing" a poor, lonely hen from her own home at the supermarket. Sad, really. I suppose they will arrest Superman next.

[MOTW]

"I'm tellin' yew, they're ORGANIZED."

[MOTW]

alex, you have to realize that the counter is not active. It's a hard-coded table.

Search keywords on the site include:
satire, parody, chicken rights, chicken humor, humor ...

That T-Bob! What a kidder!

[Sean]

of course, we all know the chicken was stolen to be sent to Cambodia for tourist target practice.

[Momanon]

Alex,

Even if the chicken was dead, stuffed, and had a side of cranberry sauce, it would still be illegal to steal it.

[Graz]

I still havent figured out how a chicken looks frightened? All the chickens that I have ever seen, ( which is many, grew upon a farm) have one look which can be best described as "DUH".

[The Bob]

I'm ashamed of myself....

Chicken Song Lyrics

Chicken's good for the body,
Chicken's good for the mind,
Chicken's good for the funny bone,
Chicken's easy on the eye.
Here we go, now!

Yum yum chicken bone,
Bock bock chicken.
Yum yum chicken bone,
Tell all your friends.
Yum yum chicken bone,
Bock bock chicken.
Yum yum chicken bone,
Tell all your friends.

Granola bar nice and chewy,
Granola bar my best friend,
Granola bar how I love you,
Granola bar's don't beat the kids

Yum yum granola bar,
Chew chew chewy.
Yum yum granola bar,
Tell all your friends.
Yum yum granola bar,
Chew chew chewy.
Yum yum granola bar,
Tell all your friends.

Chicken and Granola bars make a nice meal,
Especially when you're all alone.
It's something to eat when you're wife's in the shelter,
Because she ran into the door.Dooor!
One.Two.Three.Four!

Yum yum granola bone,
Bock bock chewy.
Yum yum granola bone,
Tell all your friends.
Yum yum granola bone,
Bock bock chewy.
Yum yum granola bone,
Tell all your friends.

Yum yum yummy
bock bock bocky
slap slap slappy
tell all your friends

Yum yum yummy
bock bock bocky
slap slap slappy
tell all your friend

[Bangladeshi_gurl]

Sparkles was frightened of being alone?
Ha! chicken!
oh wait..it *was* a chicken.

[Graz]

When a man loves a Chicken? I thought that was illegal in most states.

[The Bob]

"When a man loves a Chicken? I thought that was illegal in most states."

illegal, perhaps, but also probably physically impossible, except for Richard Simmons.....

[Graz]

Good song Punky ! Also remade by Garth Brooks.

In the context of that song..It might not be illegal....tasteless...but not illegal.

[Bangladeshi_gurl]

"they,asked me how i knew
my true luv was true
i of course replied
when chickens r deep fried
luv cannot be denied"

( to the tune of "smoke gets in ur eyes")

[Doug Brockmeier]

"Claire Martin" anagrams to "Miracle Train."

You're welcome.

[The Bob]

I'll stand firm on the traditional male philosophy that "love" describes only ONE activity..

Those males that have fallen into the female trap of using the word "love" to describe activities such as kissing, hugging, cuddling, spooning, whispering, touching, hand holding, smiling, nuzzleing, or any other non-procreative activity are hereby banned from further posting on this blog!

[Bangladeshi_gurl]

the bob
i object
i hereby post my objection

[Beanster]

Very sweet, since I've read all the posts! HAHAHA, now I can sue you all for deformin an innocent young mind.
"Why officer, I was just ambling along, looking at my favorite Dave Barry site, when I looked innocently into the comments and found the love word!"

[Beanster]

Very sweet, since I've read all the posts! HAHAHA, now I can sue you all for deformin an innocent young mind.
"Why officer, I was just ambling along, looking at my favorite Dave Barry site, when I looked innocently into the comments and found the love word!"

[Beanster]

It would have been funnier if I hadn't doubled posted...darn the school computers...

[Beanster]

(the love word meaning the word punky bleeped before, and yes, i HAVE heard worse.)

[The Bob]

bangi_gurl..

objection noted, not like any of us guys care anyways.... :)

[The Bob]

punky....we don't use that word here in the midwest........Other than in Ohio where it refers to the OSU football team.....

now..before i get beat up.... i'm heading out of here for a meeting... y'all behave until tomorrow!

[evil little pixie]

It's so wonderful to have a gamecock for a school mascot. Here are some of the slogans found on the many fine products available at our University Bookstore:
Gamecock: an ass-kickin' chicken
You can't lick our cocks!
Short-shorts that say "cocks" on the butt
cherry-covered pajama pants that say "cocks" on the crotch
not to mention the chocolate rooster-shaped lollipops- guess what they're called!

[Beanster]

You have to go to MEETINGS? Why not just play hooky? Well. I guess its not that easy, but in someways it is because you don't have security guards and principals. On the other hand, you might want a job and not be fired for future reference.

[Doug Brockmeier]

"Handbasket" anagrams to "kasbah dent."

[evil little pixie]

Since Beanster is presumbably still here to read my last post, I think I've just joined the group en route to Hell. :-)

[Ivoirienne]

I saw many chickens
In the frozen food section
Shall we free them too?

[evil little pixie]

Thanks MeL. If eadn does offer me a room, I promise to provide Cocksuckers for everyone. (Did anyone guess that's what the rooster lollipops are called?)

[Ivoirienne]

Mooses the great cow
stands firm in the grocer's door
"Let my chickens go!"

[Graz]

Don't worry all, I'm leasing the entire downtown Hades Ritz Hilton. It has a lovely view if the lake of fire, and daily tours of the sulfer and brimstone quarrys. You are all welcome to stay. Just don't bring a bathing suit. They are having difficulties with the pool right now, with evaporation problems and all.

[Doug Brockmeier]

"Frozen chickens" anagrams to "zin-ferno checks."

I am not making sense right now.

[Ivoirienne]

Chicken tastes like chicken
Unless it's really a cock
Will it taste the same?

[Ivoirienne]

Okay, now I feel like I deserve the seat Punky's been saving for me!

We aren't REALLY stopping in Jersey first, are we?

[Doug Brockmeier]

MeL, I take high offense to that. Everyone knows I am as loveable as falling on a cactus.

[evil little pixie]

Spanish essay due
at three thirty. I'm in a
big heap of trouble!

[Con]

Mercedes Benz and Dixie Chicken

I resemble your taste in music, Punky. Well done!

**Tuning in to Punkvision**

[Con]

Punkyvision Patent pending

[Doug Brockmeier]

"Loveable as falling on a cactus" anagrams to--this is my best one ever--"clinal aasvogels confabulate."

[eadn]

Got it, Con. If you and Punky won't mind, can I offer an investment in your fine product?

evil little pixie Yep! There's definitely a room for you in my condo ;-) And MeL, I think the boohbah place would be a great place for online medication!

Ivoirienne, any kitty-friend of Punky is a friend of mine, I'll get the room next to her ready unless you prefer to stay at the Hilton with Graz. By the way, would you do me the honor of phonetically pronouncing your name? Like to get it right, Thanks!

Graz, the Hilton's not too far from me. Shall we time-share the party?! P.S. I do understand about repairs & maintenance, it's a Hell of a thing ain't it?!

Obviously I'm late to the gate again. C'est la me :-)

[Leetie]

And "donut frenzy" anagrams to "try zen fondue"

Think about it.

[Con]

MeL and 'Lil Pixie
Just Corrupted me. Oh my
I feel so yucky

[Leetie]

...oops.. one too many e's. sorry.

[Leetie]

Yond fez runt, Doug, Zen Turd of NY.

[Con]

Got it, Con. If you and Punky won't mind, can I offer an investment in your fine product?

What do you think, Ms. Brewster? Shall we open for bids, offer an IPO, or just take a pass?

[Bangladeshi_gurl]

this is gr8...we already have chicken campfire songs for when we get to jersey,i mean hell.

[Bangladeshi_gurl]

Punky-experts say it is much more fun being *in* a sandwich then on top of a roll.
what say u?
Oh look..i got a msg from Hell-
"direct flights to hell now available..."

[eadn]

Bangladeshi_gurl, make sure you don't get a seat too close to the engines...ya know...like...if you get one of those flaming urges of yours ;-) Wanna room in my condo?

[Con]

Bangladeshi_gurl
Stars in Intimate Sandwich
Film at eleven

[Ivoirienne]

I'm definitely a kitty-friend! And I love Psychocat's sig--I wish I'd thought of it! I was known in past years as "WonderKitty" myself.

As for my name--it's pronounced "Ee-vwahr-ee--ehn"

If you can get a French roll on the "r", double points.

[elfbrains]

So this is where you have all been hiding.

Been to Jersey, didn't realize it was the waystation to Hell, but I suppose it would allow one to avoid culture-shock.

[Blognik]

Um...wasn't the chicken's name Speckles, not Sparkles?

Just askin', y'know...

Poached chicken was found
Now with rooster companion
Yum, that's good eatin'.

:)

[eadn]

Thanks Ivoirienne! I'll work on French-rolling my rrr's :-) Yeah, I like Psychocat's sig too! Some people just got that creative gift ya know. In the meantime, I'm gonna wonder about "WonderKitty"! ;-)

elfbrains, the posts stalled for awhile so we entertained ourselves here a bit. I've never been to Jersey...went to Hell so fast I missed the train.

[eadn]

WaytaGo Punky! Back to you, Con. I'm all Pro for this!

[Con]

Motion carried, hon. I'll file the following with the SEC.

PunkyVision ®

CEO Con
CFO Punky Brewster
CIO eadn

IPO 25 bazillion shares @ $69 per share.

Slogon (Borrowed from C. W. McColl)
"We'll put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline and an extra ration of rum for the men, that should do it."

[eadn]

Hot Dam! I'm In! Even got a tit-le and everything!

[Lee]

YeeHaa! With a Mission Statment like that, I'll take a bizillion shares!

[Con]

Heh heh, eadn, you're a legend in your own mind...

And Punky's a legend in everyone else's ;)

[Doug Brockmeier]

I appreciate the effort to surpass my anagramming skills, Leetie, but let's face it, eel ties are so last year.

[nimbus]

If a chicken-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take for a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Discuss.

[Doug Brockmeier]

The jury is still out: What is Dave's real middle name?

[Litsa]

My eye caught an over-romanticized comment in your web site's forum, referring to a 'happy ending' for Speckles, the notorious Oregon hen, after she had been returned to her home of choice amongst screeching truck and car tires and the underbellies of vehicle engines at a supermarket parking lot.

Thinking he was doing a good deed by saving a homeless, displaced animal, Nick Gombos offered Speckles safe haven in a peaceful setting, consistent nutrition and peer companionship at the chicken coop Nick built for her and her new mates on his home's lot, to live amongst the other animals this family has consistently cared for. He had the best intentions in mind. That's as obvious to any intelligent human being as is the county officials' guilt in this case. Only by the Gombos' self-admission did anyone even know where Speckles had gone. Mrs. Gombos called the supermarket the next day only to be told noone including the owner of the establishment owned the chicken and to just return the crate the hen had been taken in.

So heck if anyone can site the law under which Mr. Gombos was then accused of being a "chicken thief" and further slandered as Speckles' kidnapper and an evil-doer. The payoff for being proactive for animals that can't speak or think for what's best for themselves is to be arrested? Whatever happened to 'do the right thing"? With no prior written warning, Nick and spouse Kathy were traumatized with surprise-attack in the middle of the night by a SWAT team of helmet-donned,laser-gun-toting, bulletproof-vested, over-zealous, military style, mind-blowingly loud aggressive "peace officers" who caused extensive damage to the Gombos family property, breaking electronic fences and doors to sieze a chicken in plain view! Nick Gombos was arrested, and while literally in his skivies all along, was handcuffed, dragged, pushed, thrown around, maimed, prodded and wounded by the Sheriff's people. He was not offered nor given an opportunity to even clothe himself. And what was that Sheriff's Deputy doing looking through the Gombos' computer and office papers? DId he think he'd find pictures of naked chickens?

Well, perhaps all the "happy-enders" can now take real pride in the final chapter of this chicken's life. Speckles is dead. Yes, you read right.

An allegedly intoxicated eighteen-year-old using the nearby public phone one night, literally choked the chicken (to death!). He claimed the chicken was limping, prompting him to put her out of her misery. No more Speckles.

How 'about THAT for a happy ending? Suddenly Nick Gombos' intentions and motive seem crystal clear. Speckles would still be alive if left at the Gombos residence.

And For Your Information: The chicken killer was NOT arrested. He's free to roam while Mr. Gombos' good name and reputation, despite a lifetime of animals right advocacy, are being dragged through the mud, awaiting trial. The Sheriff's department, some backwoods good-ole-boy network consisting shamefully of their District Attorney, Clay Johnson as well, would rather follow through with prosecuting this one, unscrupulously widening county tax deficits rather than widely back off and apologize. Afterall, no ownership was ever claimed by anyone for Speckles.

Without a claimant to press charges there is no case. When they woke up a judge in the middle of the night to sign the search warrant to orchestrate the Gombos home invasion, I can bet no proof of chicken ownership existed or shown, as required by State statutue.

Yep, there's a fishy odor emanating from Josephine County, Oregon.

Is this an election year? If it is, I vote for Nick and Kathy Gombos for County Treasurers and for a major overhaul of present Josephine County officials! The world has moved on from ignorance while this mini military-style junta has remained behind. Sheriff Dave Daniel and DA Clay Johnson ought to be recalled!

While at first glance this may seem to be a comedic series of events turning out a bazaar chicken story that's seems puzzling and laughable from all ots loose ends, if you look closer, you'll 'allegedly' find a frightening lesson in organized networking of public officials in cohorts with nothing but racism and hatred on their minds.

Litsa
Miami Beach, Florida

[Kathy L. Dean]

My darling, loving, wonderful Litsa, your letter just dried my tears after reading what people wrote.

I don't know if anyone will see this now; I just came across Dave's site today via Google. I would have thought at one time to be written about by Dave Barry would be wonderful; sadly not.

Thanks for telling the truth and for being such a wonderful friend.

In case anyone does read this, I had no idea Litsa ever posted this. Litsa found my husband's birth mother for us in 1998 by going to Greece and looking through old records. She is our angel.

Kathy L. Dean
Nicholas G. Gombos