« Previous | Main | Next »

March 28, 2004

MAYBE THEY COULD WORK AS GREETERS

Human remains to be re-buried at Wal-Mart.

(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Chew Toys? Aisle 7.

*loudspeaker page*

"Earl, we have a clean up on Aisle 3. Human Remains. Earl.

Attention WalMart shoppers: We're slashing prices! Snickers are now on clearance. Buy one, get the rest of our stock free. Aisle 7."

And how do we know they arent shopaholics who refused to leave the store? huh?

Well, for me, there are three questions that this story raises:

1) How were they digging up the ground for this new *WalMart* (not a small excavation job) that they didn't trash the bodies first? With shovels?

2) Which department are they going to bury them in? I'm betting outside garden. :-)

and 3) What in the *hell* was Dave doing awake at 7:50 on a Sunday morning? The Sunday papers are printed Saturday night, Dave, really...

Well, for me, there are three questions that this story raises:

1) How were they digging up the ground for this new *WalMart* (not a small excavation job) that they didn't trash the bodies first? With shovels?

2) Which department are they going to bury them in? I'm betting outside garden. :-)

and 3) What in the *hell* was Dave doing awake at 7:50 on a Sunday morning? The Sunday papers are printed Saturday night, Dave, really...

Well, for me, there are three questions that this story raises:

1) How were they digging up the ground for this new *WalMart* (not a small excavation job) that they didn't trash the bodies first? With shovels?

2) Which department are they going to bury them in? I'm betting outside garden. :-)

and 3) What in the *hell* was Dave doing awake at 7:50 on a Sunday morning? The Sunday papers are printed Saturday night, Dave, really...

Ok, clearly this blog's comment engine interacts poorly with Konqueror the same way that DeanForAmerica's did. Apologies; that second posting was *supposed* to say:

"And I apologize in advance if any of my comments offend anyone. I wouldn't want to offend anybody. Accidentally."

Let's see if the damned computers can avoid conspiring to make me look like a moron this time (cause you *know* it's all the computers' fault. Just ask the ex-husband of RayAdverb's new wife. :-)

Not that I plan to see Dawn of the Undead, but I wouldn't be surprised if this Wal-Mart was in the sequel.

wow, talk about your material for a low-budget horror movie. I'll go and start working on the screenplay now. It's an old Indian Burial Ground, I swear!

No! No! Some girl from Oregon! Where I live, said Indians will readily claim it, then build yet another casino on it!

I don't know if it's the same where you are, but around here the Walmart cashiers move so slowly they're practically candidates for reinterment.

Alex: "Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, 'I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw'?" - Ernest P. Worrell

2 Walmart employees are taking a break. One old guy says to the other "My arthritis is really bothering me today. I sure am feeling my age." The other old geezer says "Funny you should say that, I feel like a newborn baby. No teeth, no hair, and I think I just peed my pants."

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise