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March 25, 2004


And Mr. Webster thinks Dave has a fun job.

(Careful, boys.)

(Thanks to Jamie Adams)


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I'm at work. What is it? hurry....hurry...tell me!

Can you imagine how paiful AND noisy that must be when he gets excited??

Oh.....wish I hadn't asked.

Dang! Did our Ren Fair lapse cause this?

My abs hurt from laughing so hard... make... it... stop...

WOOHOO! OOPS! I dunno, seems the Lasses might like 'em if I could give a good wiggle within :-)

Judi, Sweet Lass! Ya down found a site for us knights in tarnished armor! To please the ladies ya know...now I wanna sing "Jingle Balls"! And HOPE the Honorable Ladies herein wanna give my balls a jingle ;-)

They have a close up... OMG... that's twisted... and the waist size goes up to 50 inches... THAT should be illegal!

at least they didn't post the chainmail swags from nipple piercing to nipple piercing -- ouch

this is hilarious...

I never receive a package like this in MY chain mail!

So what happens if you don't make 7 copies and send them out... (shudder)

Thank you, Judi! I think that I will send a chain letter to all of those people who send me them on a regular basis! That should clean up my constantly jammed email box.

Thanks, Mona Lisa, for pointing out the waist size. I noted the prices and I clicked on the close-ups, but I sure missed that.

BTW, Judi, why does this link make Dave's job bad? Is he modeling one of these beauties?

Aaaghh, pinching...

On the plus side, I can choose whether I want to feel the cool sensuality of galvanized steel, aluminum, or brass! I always did say I was too good for cotton.

Dennis Rodman should be illegal too, but what are you gonna do? The lesson here is: Stay the heck away from Hollywood.

With a 50" waist ... that would really make his chain mail package look really small.

So small, I'd mistake it for junk mail and move on to the next chain mail package I saw.


The rimshot was intended for Miss Brewster, but I misfired. Apologies all 'round.

Yes, MeL, randomness...ocity...ology is my beat. Good to see you--in a manner of speaking.

If I'm not mistaken, Florida is illegal too. It copied us by creating another Hollywood. Maybe Dave knows what happens there.

Buddha. So nice to see you.

Did you order yourself one of these hot little chainlink numbers????

Ok, I'll point out the fact the the ladie's section of the.. uh.. "garments" are so much more appealing.

Punky... I think you mean junks mail.

That was aweful, my cats are very upset.

Nick Errs, Sidcup, Kent

Oh yeah, Con. In the ladies section ... that diamond thong over the teal shiny lycra is HOT!

or not ... that is the ugliest thing I have seen in like ... I dunno, the last 20 seconds. Cause before that I saw some pretty ugly chain link dresses that made me want to cry.

Umm, Ladies, I feel almost em-bare-assed. This was the first judi male underwear posting that I might want to buy for myself just to see if I got a jingle from a lass! I was afraid to turn around in case I got jingled in my skinny-shanked butt! Even early, I is too late to the gate!

By the way, I is only about a 36' / 38'. Haven't bought new pants since I lost weight keeping up with all the feisty women :-) on The Blog!!!!

Good call, Con! No wonder you're See EEE OH! At this stage of my alcoholic medications, I just bookmarked it for future reference...if I remember tomorrow...girls in chainmail...lemme drool a note...:-)

Buddha, you were going to keep that between you, me and the hotel room ... remember??

Ahaha, Punky, you do have a valid point. At least judi offered an equal opportunity post... An equal opportunity to poke fun at both genders ;-)

CEO PunkyVision ®

Ooh! Harem chains ... how kinky. What?! They're sold out ... damn! OK ... who bought them all? I'll give you $20 bucks and 500 shares of PunkyVision if you sell your harem chains to me!

Ahaha, Punky, you do have a valid point. At least judi offered an equal opportunity post... An equal opportunity to poke fun at both genders ;-)

CEO PunkyVision ®

I've got the harem chains you're looking for, and I think you've got yourself a deal.

Also, I provide free installation.

MeL, just to settle this issue you raised: I can think of nothing Finer than the Beauty of a Lass! Heart, and Mind, and Soul...and Body TOO. Or in the words of your local curio shoppe: "Lovely to look at, delightful to hold, but if you break it, then it's sold!"

For my own sake, I'm going to skip my personal history, but Thank You and All The Dave-Blog Lasses for your acceptance, consideration, and time! :-)

If I just f*cked it up, it won't be the first time, Thanks!

Buddha ... I'll meet you tonight at our usual place. Bring the harem chains ... and make sure no one follows you.

I sincerly hope that you're attracted to whoever the "lass" may be... I can imagine that paper bags might get in the way.

Punky, Chainmail & More ® just purchased $8,000,000 worth of PunkyVision ® preferred stock. You now have unlimited freebies, including, but not limited to, Harem Chains.

Good Lord, Con! Does that mean I have to quit drinking so much beer?!

if i ever go absolutely mad and cruise bars for illicit affairs, that'll be my pickup line (provided women get to use those). "boxers, briefs, or chainmail?"

Bowie tickets. I win!

I'm off to an early bed now. Night, all.

bowie baysox?

Ziggy Stardust, dude. David!


makes ya feel sorry for the poor researchers, neh?

Buddha ... for you and your tickets to Bowie:

Making love with his ego, Ziggy sucked up into his mind
Like a leper messiah
When the kids had killed the man I had to break up the band

Ziggy Played Guitar


Methinks those chain mail g strings need a little oil to really work...

I was a harem girl last Halloween... but no metal was involved.

Haven't seen anyone pose this yet:

This guy goes to the airport and attempts to go through Security. *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Guard: "Sir, would you please place your keys in the plastic tray and try again?"

He does. *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Guard: "Sir, please remove your extra large rodeo trophy belt buckle and try again?" (other passengers are being waved toward the auxiliary checkpoint)


Guard: "Sir, is there anything else METAL that you need to remove?"

The guy gets a sheepish grin on his face ...
"Uh, .. er, ahem .. I mean ... That is to say..."

OK, I'm sitting here playing the Bubble Bee game, watching ER, drinking a screwdriver and wondering why I always attract the freaky guys, not the guys in chain metal g strings.

Can anyone feel me out there??

Josie, is that *you* talking, or are you meaning that's the *model* talking?

Oh, MOTW, you bring me back to the time I set off a metal detector in Philadelphia, with just a simple nipple piercing. Ahhh, back when it was not just a fad, but a statement.


I know you did that out of spite, Judi.

She's stinking up your name, Dave.

MOTW, how did you know I went to modeling school? but I've never been one. I was a truckstop waitress, a secretary, a race horse groom, an escort, and a newspaper reporter, but never a model.

::removes stale Peep from ceiling an eats leisurely::

I thought velvel got over judi-bashing awhile ago. I guess not.

Thanks, MeL, I've been up on the observation deck, but don't think I haven't been riding this train/comet/handbasket without taking in some of the sights.

Poof!Bangi_gurl bursts prettily into flames.

not to worry ppl...i think i mastered the art of spontaneous human combustion
p.s-the pic looks like a mug shot.the undie cant be *that* comfortable

I don't think they're approved for the Atkins Diet, but somehow they seem appropriate on the ride to New Jersey and beyond. BTW, how many of them did Doug eat the other night while he was locked up in the blog?

Please send any annoying email you may have to the following:


Dear JosiePusyCat-
bangi's lesson on how to attract men in metal chain g strings-

Use a HUGE magnet.

to whoever said this:

BTW, Judi, why does this link make Dave's job bad? Is he modeling one of these beauties?

ummm. no. i didn't say dave's job was bad. i said mine was fun.

p.s. vel, if you click on a link that says WARNING and then complain, you need a new copy of the rule book. please post your snailmail address here asap, and i'll get one right out to ya. cheers!

I ate 5 Double-Doubles and two cheeseburgers once in the same sitting. Take that, Mitsubishi.

I gotta magnet for ya...

Magnet P.I. !

(I don't know what that means, sorry)

to bangi & MeL,

Speaking from experience, the metal g-string may look like a good idea, but removes a LOT of hair that the male may be attached to if one removes it quickly.

MeL: I used to have to wear a uniform to work.

your first reaction was "ouch," mel? i thought you were a girl!

oh i just meant i wasn't thinking about the hair-getting-ripped-out part at all ;)

I don't understand this concept of not clicking a link that says, "warning."

Velveeta, it's not easy being cheesy.

The real problem is I read the blog updates on an RSS feed reader, Bloglines, and the author of the link doesn't show up. So I can't really know that I'm going to open up a picture of balls because I can't see Judi's name. It's a little pipe dream I have that I could assume all posts in Dave's blog would be Dave's, just like the good ol' days.

I didn't need to see that first thing in the morning. Now my stomach is feeling queasy.



Notice my new website. Please sign up, because every time you do, I earn commission, which goes to pay my gas, food, and Alesha Oreskovich bills.

Wow, I didn't realize this blog was so stretchy. Let's test it AGAIN!


HAHAHA! I SO tricked you! The lot of youse! You thought I was going to say "CHEESE" when all I really said was "CHEE" with 6,000 million e's and an exclamation of triumph at the end.


It wasn't even just the picture that was offensive. The joke wasn't even phrased well...

So Dave has a fun job...and there's a picture of a chain-mail jock-strap? What does that even mean? Who's job is more fun than Dave's?

You have the setup. You have the punchline. All you need is to tie it together.

If you're going to include gratuitous beefcake, please try to work it in to something humor-related.

I have to second Punky's comments.

Secondly, it's hardly JUDI's fault that your computer can't tell the difference between judi's and Dave's posts. I can tell very easily. Quitcherbitchin', we all know how you feel.

velvel-well well-u come again.u've voiced ur opinion.we heard u.and im sure dave heard u.and if dave doesnt think anything should change,maybe it's time u accepted that things wont change.
the majority of the ppl here like judi's postings.
what is it u hope to achieve with ur criticisms?

Oh gotcha, sorry, I missed the italics on "Dave". A couple of times, I have missed the link in a post which is even more embarrassing because then I comment and the comment has NOTHING to do with the post...embarrassing! However, now that I have read through a few comment threads in their entirety, I guess that staying on topic is not that important.

Thanks for doing a great job judi! We love you, except for viscious velvel.

Let me try and clear this up for you. I am not Dave. I don't post on Dave's blog. It's not my job to be funny on Dave's blog. That job belongs to Dave. (You are definitely not the funny one.)

I complain because there is someone else on this blog who thinks she is as funny as Dave. She is not.

Why should a complainer be funny?

I will continue to complain as long as I have something to complain about.

Blognik--My post about the sydicate feed (RSS) was mildly technical. I apologize if it made your head feel funny.

Attention people concerned with myself not being able to see the author of the post:

I figured it out. Apparently there are 2 feed choices. I'm now using the other one.

Thanks to the technical staff, who is both the cause and solution to all my problems here.

I think the link is broken :))

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