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March 04, 2004


No, you don't win anything. Except the knowledge that you have created the best caption for this picture, submitted to the blog by Paulo Ordoveza.


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The Florida Marlins! Who woulda thought!

"Cheng was sure that no one had hear it but as he hung his head in shame, the old adage 'Silent but deadly' kept ringing in his ears"

What do you mean dogs and cat's are now extinct!?

"No, no, no, son, don't sing 'She Bangs',
open with Britney Spears, always play to your strengths"

(Jeff Submits Caption)

Three Monkeys Too Many Celebrate Their Delicate Craft...

Will someone bury that dead cat on Donald Trump's head!

Oh GOD! My eyes!!!! Damn those pointy cup lids, damn them straight to hell, michagen.....

"I can't believe they actually spent money to put nipples on our mugs".

The tension is palpable during the finals of the "Best Creamer With a Knob on Top" competition.

"It wasn't me!"

speak evil, hear no evil, what is evil, apathetic to evil, see no evil, speak no evil

"Chang was right... my hands DO smell like shit!"

I decided a haiku caption would fit best here:

Six old chinese men
At the U.N. meeting hall
Three are the monkeys

"Maybe breakfast wasn't the best time to tell Jim we were all 'coming out'."

Caption: "The reaction of the Chinese delegation upon finding this summer Olympic's opening day act will be Barry Manilow."

"Why does Kim Jong Il always insist on removing his pants before addressing the cabinet?"

Alright, alright. For the fourth time today, did YOU fart, Kim Il?

I think this one is pretty obvious...

This just flashed on the giant screen at the front of the UN.

(note how there is no joke following this about weapons of mass erections?)

Judi...my boss would like to have a word with you regarding your content filters. She's a big fan...

Got DirecTV?

That's the sushi smell on my hands guys, not Judi.

... and the cat ate mother's toes.

....and I thought I was clever with my three anti-evil monkey thought...i'll just have to get here faster next time. If you can't be original, be quick in your unoriginality.

wait...mikez as in ZLOTNICK? HI! Nice to meet you!

"Wu, you fool! Your teacup is 0.00134 centimeters out of alignment! You've doomed our entire row to a life of prison labor!"

"Oh, why am I surrounded by these idiots? I should have listened to my mother!"

In an attempt to prove a point about low-flow toilets, the Chinese toilet industry provided a laxative-laced pot of tea for each cabinet member.


"And this one time, at band camp..."

I can't believe how much I could have saved by switching to Geico!

After much debating, blame-shifting and name-calling, the guys realized that it was no one's fault. They just weren't cut out for Hollywood Squares.

Godzilla, Smodzilla. I could buy and sell you.

Commitee members pause to evaluate a sample of the latest nomination for the coveted "Best of All The Tea in China" title.

The stripper produced a wide range of different reactions among the members of the jury.

"Oh... Oh... ahhh oh oh god... ahhh"
"They did that to there savior?"
"I'm not sure Gibson is all there in the head."

Believing yet again that he has interested his colleagues on Hiroshima Squares in a rousing game of hide-and-see, Masihatsu "Moshi" Honiku, center, begins counting to one hundred.

"Hey, these x-ray glasses I got from the back of that comic book really do work! Now if only I could get the image of the Prime Minister in nothing but his underwear out of my head..."

Six members of Asian Hair Club for Men show the true excitment of winning the "Get You Picture Posted on the BBC Website 2004" competition.


Chen, Chang, Ling, Wong, Yen, and Jason ponder just how to escape the embarrassing situation of accidentally walking into a Black Panthers meeting.


The first six candidates on the new NBC reality show Average Joeng

As the losing contestants look on, Takishi Armazowa sets a new world's record (17) in Japan's National Water Pitcher Eating finals.

Ok, one more....

1 in 6 people suffer from Genital Herpes. In real life, it isn't this obvious.

" See no weapons of mass destruction, hear no weapons of mass destruction, speak no weapons of mass destruction"

Is the meeting over yet, me hearties?

You can keep counting if you like, but we are not going to hide! We're done with that game. We're ignoring you. Do you hear me? Ignoring you!

No, we're NOT the Koreans. Can't you round-eyes figure that out?

upper row:

"I wouldn't drink that. It's a long march to the toilet."
"I'm not listening."
"If he had at least done so in 1969, we might not be the only nation with seats farther from the restroom than Luxembourg."

lower row:

"Stop talking about it. My bladder is going to burst."
"Secular Mao, mine did!"
"Tell me something I don't smell."

" the UN announced today, the successful installation of Ambassadorial Quality Toilets in the Main Conference room. Reactions varied,"

"The Chinese goverment is stumped by the crimson room"

Stupid political comments are hereby banned from these boards.

But I ALWAYS drive like this!

Damn, Judi posted another penis site.

He's taking his clothes off. What do we do?

"where's the delegate?"

"THERE he is!"

"where's the delegate?"

"THERE he is!"



Middle guy in bottom row: "When I'm nervous, I stick my hands under my arms like this, and then I smell them like this..."

Other guys: Clueless because they have never seen Saturday Night Live.

"The Speaker of the House asked Congress today to make suggestions for a new national anthem, and it was unanimously decided to go with Madonna's 'Vogue'."

Not going any where for awhile?

Bumper wins. They must be stumped by that damn crimson room. Look on the bedframe, sad dignified men!!

Immodium AD: Where will YOU be when you need it?

Now they must be using sleeping pills

The embarrassing consequences of saying, "Talk to the hand" to yourself.

Hear no evir, See no evir, Speak no evir...

Why oh WHY are the americans making such a big deal about Janet's nipple???

"Oh oh, here comes Bush, and we all know what his dad did on the Japanese Prime Minister"

PS: I'm fully aware that these men are Chinese, not Japanese. I know that and you know that, but the President may not know that


"Premering this fall on CBC, 'Chinese Idol', in which people with comically bad singing voices sing for a panel of judges including the overly critical Simon Wong"

This demonstrates the value of not being seen . . .

The Continuing Education Center's remedial class: "Evil Monkeys for the Impaired"

You are evil
Hear no evil
I am evil
Bored with evil
See no evil
Speak no evil

Hear no Bush, See no Bush, Speak no Bush...

"Simon Says... Hands on Taiwan!"

Well, to me it looks like they saw the Stealth Blogerette's 'Extreme Thong' party link! :o)

Scene from the boardroom of The Apprentice: China.

"Dong, you did not take the workers' interest into account. On top of that, you gave less than you could and took more than you need. Your ideology is impure. Dong, you're fired." said Chairman Mao.

Where the hell is our sushi??!!

...and the Chinese Army Xs out the entire top
row to block. Boy, they came here to win on
Tiannamen Squares.

(Just Six Cubes)

Now the the Yankees have A-Rod, the Red Sox will never break the curse of the Bambino

Now that the Yankees have A-Rod, the Red Sox will never break the curse of the Bambino

"Unable to control his grief Wang Liu broke into tears when it was announced that he would not be one of the five finalist in the 2004 DRC Suit Model of the Year Competition"

"wow man killer weed. Ya know, if you press on ypur eyeballs really hard ya can see fireworks."

Ha! Now you can't see me!

see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil... and three other monkies.

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