TELEPHONE-BOOK-ART BLOOPER OF THE WEEK

Whoops.

(Thanks again to Ben Studtmann)

Comments

[Eleanor]

*zips back in*

Peeking through the boards!!!!

I win! I win! What's my prize???

*waits*

[Peri]

*wishes she could have yelled "I win! I win!" tonight*

Good job, El!!

[punky brewster]

*sucks on lifesaver*

Thanks, DDi!

[Peri]

*eyeballs kegs sitting in living room*

It's still 'tonight', isn't it?

*considers guest list*

OK, it's official - I'm staying here tonight. Y'all are better than anything that's walking through my door anytime soon. God help me.

[Mr.Fishair]

I too will be dropping back in later tonight, that is if I ever get untied from this chair.

Either way I ain't complaining.

El- You win the Cider. What could be better for a grand prize than a free soak in Cider??!

Maybe to be that lifesaver in Punky's mouth, but that's about it really.

Or, I suppose a Jack in the Box wouldn't be all that bad either.

Better than a lifetime supply of S P A M .

[punky brewster]

Hey kids ... I am home tonight ... so if we're continuing this party into the wee hours of the night ... count me in.

I'll bring the tequila ... of course.

[Peri]

In my case, tequila = panty remover. (Mind you, so does vodka, gin, rum, rye, scotch, bourbon...well, you get the idea.) Wine, anyone?

[Peri]

Are cheese puffs supposed to set off the smoke detector?

[Eleanor]

Fish!!!
(closes italics this time)

I can't post on your new blog because you don't have an "other" designation!

*puts on white t-shirt in anticipation of Cider Soaker*

[Lt. Slashin' Calla Bellamy]

Wow... give someone a new Moat and they just go nuts! Quick post because I have kiddy care duties today.. and she's being particularly obstreporous (I love that word!) this morning. Check my blog (linked) for last night's conversation. She's an interesting kid. Yeah, that's the word for it.

Jeff.. (or anyone) can you link to the geek test for me please? My server doesn't like LiveJournal (or vice versa) and I've never been able to get into it.
On "Vanish", the plot wasn't any great surprise to me, either. Still very enjoyable.

Brian.. hope the knees improve quickly for you! Definitely take a rest from the soccer. If they feel a bit better and you decide to play, you could do further damage and end up unable to play competitively full stop.

Bangi.. on relationships (bearing in mind that I don't know much about long-term relationships, this is mostly from observation..)
I think that when you start to take all their good qualities for granted and just presume upon them, then get upset because you don't see them occuring regularly, that's a big indicator. Also, when the things that attracted you to him (i.e. he's always asking me what I think..) become the things that bug you (he can't make a decision on his own!) that's another big flag. If you find yourself criticising him to other people.. or worse, doing that while he's still in the room (I have seen this and I hate it!) then things are going downhill.
#2 relationship rule (not the most important, but right up there!) IMO is NEVER criticise your partner to someone else before you've talked with them first.
This doesn't count venting and trying to sort your head out while you're on the Moat. That's fine with me, but make sure you talk with whomever you're talking about.

Kingw... wishing you the happiest of birthdays, my friend..

Zoodle... happy non-aversary! Enjoy it all!

*goes back to reality*

Well... today is election day. Which means all the political posters are down! All I have to do now is vote and listen to the political wrangling for the next few weeks while the parties decide who is going to play nicely with whom so that they can form a coalition and screw our country up for the next three years. Oh joy...

[Mr.Fishair]

i SUPPOSE IF YOU ARE PUTTING THEM IN THE BONG PERI. YES.

If not, carry on removing panties.

I WILL CERTAINLY NOT MISS FREE TEQUILLA!! OR CERTAINLY SHOW FREE WILLY TO MISS TEQUILLA!! OR

*Goes to make a mad dash at finishing up work and going straight home to put the kids to bed promplty at 6:00 p.m.)(I'm kidding of course, I'll feed them first, so make it 6:30)*

*Goes to order Pizza (so it will have time to get cold), aspirin, and Gatorade for the Post party. *

Until then.........

[Wurm42]

cheese puffs? No. Popcorn...don't talk to me about popcorn. Or Fantastic. Long story.

*Loves Peri a MOATarita with extra T*

[Mr.Fishair]

Sorry El- I did that last time too. It's fixed.

A white t-shirt, good idea.

[Peri]

Wurm! My love, I'll share the extra T with you. Tell me about your fantastic popcorn.

Or better yet - show me.

(If I'm going too far here, guys, someone had better email me pronto. I'm on some serious drugs and mixing them with alcohol. It's already been a surreal kind of night. And it's not even night yet.)

[Zoodle]

Oh sure..leave me here without a lap to sit on. Typical. *sigh*

[Eleanor]

LTTG: I hate it when that happens, but I have a good excuse.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KINGW!!!
See, the problem is that today is also Stay Away From Seattle Day, and since that's where you live, I was having a conflict. But your B-Day won, so have a good one!

[Tamara]

***We interrupt this moatie porn session to bring you a motherly vent!!***

The munchkin (age 4.5) began preschool on Monday.

She enjoys it. It's a good school. No nightmares and random bouts of crying this week, unlike the first week at the other daycare we tried back in January. Minimal crying at separation. Doing very well.

Except for the past TWO HOURS today, where she has not been participating in the activities with the rest of her class! She is sitting alone at a table. She's been crying. Her teachers are doing their jobs and talking with her and trying to get her involved and etc, but the munchkin is having none of it.

She cries and she tells the teachers the same things she likes to tell me: "I CAN'T stop crying!" "My legs hurt!" "My arm hurts!" (random pains when she decides to cry--believe me when I say she is a Drama Queen)

So she's sitting at the table alone, and I'm watching her on the camera, and I am wanting to shriek: YOU, LITTLE MUNCHKIN! STOP BEING A MARTYR!! GO HAVE FUN, YOU LITTLE BANANA-HEAD!! GAAAHHHH!!!

What kind of child deliberately prevents herself from having fun? Is she trying to prove to me that she 'does not either' like preschool and should be allowed to continue staying at her grandparents' house during the day? This is going to be a weekend full of mind-games, I can see. This munchkin is too smart for me. Grrr...

*banging head against the wall* She! Likes! This! School! What! Is! The! Problem!?

***now back to your regularly scheduled tequila-orgy***

[Peri]

OK, that sounded like I'm mixing drugs with booze, and asking for help. This is overly dramatic and not true. The meds I am currently on do not include any sort of alcohol warning, except 'don't drive', which comes on everything. Everybody stand down - I don't need any warnings! I already know not to drive my car.

[Peri]

T, as one veteran drama-queen mom to another: Just ignore it. The moment it stops getting attention and something happens that she is interested in - she'll be in there. Girls this young have no attention span whatsoever; she'll go for the first thing she sees that looks fun, as long as she's not being the centre of attention. Do yourself a favor and stop watching her. She'll be fine.

[Mr.Fishair]

SorryZOODLE!!

My lap shall return my Perky one!!!

[Tamara]

Yes, Peri, that is the only part of the plan I have down so far for this weekend: Act nonchalant.

*crossing fingers this plan will work*

And I *have* to watch her on the cameras--at least until I get a better job where people actually care whether I get work done or not! ;P

[bangi]

THNX GUYS!!!
it was for a quiz i was writing for the magazine :D
i forgot to say that.
its finished!

[Peri]

It's really amazing, the show a dramaqueen can put on when someone is looking. But without an audience, or with a tired, distracted and uninterested audience - suddenly she's looking for a topic to attract interest. Be interested in stories about new friends, crafts she did, music she heard - and lose interest when she talks about how sad she was, how kids were so mean, how the teacher didn't listen...it's amazing how much more fun school was that day when she tells it like that.

[Eleanor]

I mean, it wasn't really "fraud" fraud, ya know....

NEW YORK -- Renee Zellweger, who has filed for an annulment from husband Kenny Chesney after just four months of marriage, says the couple "hope to experience this transition as privately as possible."

In court papers filed Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the Oscar-winning actress listed "fraud" as the reason for the breakup with the country music star.

The term was "simply legal language and not a refection of Kenny's character," Zellweger said in a statement Friday.

"I would personally be very grateful for your support in refraining from drawing derogatory, hurtful, sensationalized or untrue conclusions," she said. "We hope to experience this transition as privately as possible."

Chesney also released a statment Friday: "This is an incredibly sad time. ... I just hope everyone can respect the privacy that I know Renee has already asked for."

[Peri]

This is all assuming, of course, that it is 'drama-queen' stuff. I am not for a moment suggesting that you ignore anything she says or does that makes you uneasy. You know that you hear everything the munchkin says to you - or implies or suggests to you. You only feign nonchalance when it is patently trivial. When it's not - go for the throat.

[bangi]

Tam rhymes with cam--munchkin will be fine! and she'll luv school very soon! and wont want to come home!
until then...she'll be a pain
g luck!

[Cap'n Weaselly Mike]

I love how those two want so much privacy but they're holding press conferences.

[Eleanor]

Weasel - Exactly!! And I'm sure they'll continue to have one every week, just to reiterate how 'really private' this is! *snork*

[Mr.Fishair]

Ok real quick before I leave. Or is it real quick, then I leave. Whatever.

I'm a Modern, Cool Nerd

78 % Nerd, 69% Geek, 21% Dork

The hardest question was #42. I just wasn't sure at all about it. I was clueless. No idea.

What would you guyals say?

42. Describe your flirting style.
Over-the-top/obvious
Whimsical/not-serious
Sly/subtle
I don't flirt.

I of course had to go with, that I don't. ;) But I bet you guys already knew that.

(Tamaradoesn'tryhmewithTequila- Munchkin, is fine, will be fine, let her get it outta her system. You're a great mother to even be caring and as involved as much as you are. So Boogers.)

[Peri]

*demurely distributes pants to all denizens of the MOAT* *throws a last quaalude to Pookie and puts a padlock on the greenhouse* *lowers eyes, bows head and receives a temporary VISA back into the MOAT*

(pssst!!! MOATies!!! Sneak out the back door if you want a hit off this fattie!!!)

*is naked under the postelent's habit*

[Mr.Fishair]

Peri- I'll be your Back door Man!!

Ok, I'm really leaving now. But not for long.

Perky Boob and nice ass's got have her lap top back. ;-p

*Nekid cannonballs into the basement*

oooof!

[Deon]

hey fish:

Deon: Pure Nerd
52 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 21% Dork

Maybe I'll be more like you when I grow up. An even bigger nerd with stronger reeking geek traits. But I am curious what your quirky areas of geekiness might be. Doesn't fit with my idea of you at all.

[Mr.Fishair]

*LOOKS FOR LOST POST*

I really just wanted to make sure Peri knows I will be her back door man.

And the Zoodle will have her Lap top back soon.

And straight cheez spray right outta the can is gooood.

*nekkid cannonballs into the basement*

Ooooooof!

[Peri]

Why is this fish tied to a chair? Well, he's possessed. Yes, possessed. By the devil? Possibly. Probably. Evidence would suggest so. Excorsism? Um, no...I don't think he wants to. Not today. Maybe next week.

[Mr.Fishair]

Deon- Celtic Rone Languages, Endless Uselss Trivia, and die hard non flirting type. That's about all I can say really.

Oh and avid double poster.

[Peri]

Non-flirting? OK, fire up the exorcism. One geek, extra dork, hold the cool. Endless useless trivia on the side.

[Peri]

(Sounds yummy!!)

[slyeyes]

*runs through Moat, stacks of papers chasing her*

HI, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*stops, give Peri a big wet kiss on the lips*

*continues running*

[djtonyb]

Alright, I demand that y'all stop having so much fun while I'm stuck in a cubicle and don't even dare to check my e-mail, let alone look at the debauchery taking place here.

*grabs bong and lights up, takes a huge hit, and falls to the floor coughing his lungs out*

Hmmmmm... it was much easier to do that when I was in my 20's.

[Wurm42]

Huh? Tamara, you said you were watching the munchkin on the cam- does this preschool have a webcam? Wow.

Peri, the popcorn story is a tale full of sound and fury, told by graduate students who are alledely smart but were seriously short in the common sense department.

[Susan]

*gives everyone here a big grope/hug*

Y'all better not disappear on me tonight...I get paranoid sometimes...

And I have a new jar of Nutella, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Of course, I'll have to wait and see how much I can post during the ballgame...see how much the recording slows the computer down. But a new MOAT should be ok.

I may have various messenger thingies on too...

So...should my pants be on or off at this point?

[Eleanor]

Brief announcement

Get it?? Brief?? Pants?? HAHAHA
but I digress.

The repeat of the season finale of Rescue Me is on at 10 or 11 tonight.

[insomniac]

82% nerd 43% geek and 65% dork ,no big surprises there!

happy birthday kingw!

[Deon & Fish]

[Deon & Fish bow low before insomniac a la "bill & ted" before Alice Cooper]

"we're not woooorthy" can any top an 82 in "nerd"?

[Zoodle]

I'm back.

Peri ~ the girls have finished their McD's and the ex has whisked them off for a fun filled adventure in the corn maze.

I am not wearing pants. :)

[Jeff Meyerson]

If you find yourself criticising him to other people.. or worse, doing that while he's still in the room (I have seen this and I hate it!) then things are going downhill.

Kaf, this is so true! My mother's cousin and her husband have this awful relationship and she tells everyone, even if he's around, about how stupid he is, how she can't stand him, etc. It makes everyone really uncomfortable, to say the least.

(For the record, he's clearly NOT stupid. He can be annoying as he's one of those Question Man type guys but he's basically a nice guy, much nicer in fact than she is.)

Another rule should be to be SURE your marriage/relationship whatever is REALLY OVER before you tell your friends & (especially) family, because you may well hear what they REALLY think about him/her (and even embellish same in an attempt to be supportive), which could be very tricky if you do get back together.

Fish, I went for "sly/subtle" on #42. I'm shocked you didn't do the same.

Program note: I saw the producer of Tuesday's benefit concerts on the local news tonight. He's the guy who does the annual New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival so he knows what he's doing. Two points:
1. Sadly, Fats Domino will probably NOT be able to make it here even though he really wanted to.
2. (For Eleanor) Bette Midler will be singing with the Dixie Cups (I'm pretty sure that's what he said), though I can't promise they'll be doing "Chapel of Love." (Or whatever you call it.)

Also, he said there will be a lot of cross-performing (as in the above): Jimmy Buffett with one group, Paul Simon with another; plus 55 New Orleans performers.

Again, $19.95 on PPV.

To repeat:

Modern, Cool Nerd
69 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 34% Dork

Darn, there was something else I wanted to say but now can't remember it. Getting old is no fun.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sorry about italics

[Jeff Meyerson]

They won't close! Help!

[Peri]

WHOA!!!! Sly! Susan and Zoodle without their pants; djtonyb watching with envy from the wings of employment; wurm has popcorn....I need to put the keg hat on. (But I want want fresh surgical tubing. I don't know where these people have been. Actually, I do know where they've been - that's why I want the stuff that's still in the bag.)

[Eleanor]

you welcome

[Eleanor]

Jeff - are the Dixie Cups the British relatives of the Dixie Chicks or are the Dixie Chicks in their cups?
I'm very confused....

Also sly/subtle are hardly words re flirting that I'd apply to Mr. Fisher - blatant, over-the-top, aggressive and out of control are some of the words that come to mind - *hee, hee, I said mind*

[Peri]

Dixie Chicks!!! El, I love your mind! (hee hee hee!!)

[Susan]

Wooo! He said "Let's go out there and spank somebody".

George said that on part of the pregame, talking to the coach.

I know he's talking about going out and beating the visiting team...

But I've been hanging out here too long.

[Cap'n Weaselly Mike]

Wow, the nerdgeekdork thing has spread into here. I posted my results on my blog. Apparently it's true. I really am Mad's Dork.

[Graz]

Where's the booze?

[Graz]

Oh, BTW, Audioslave ~ Out of Exile ....Excellent CD....must get for folks who like that kind of music.

I'm at work, so if I ask you guys to re-arrange yourselves to look like a spreadsheet really quick, please do....I have to look busy.

[slyeyes]

Did someone call me subtle?

I'd go back and re-heiz to double check that....but gotta go.

BTW -- there's a cricket loose in the house somewhere

AND IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!

[Susan]

Graz wants us to spread out on a sheet?

Interesting.

[Joshkr]

*strolls in trying to look cool*

KINGW!!!! Happy birthday my friend, may you take after your male rabbits every morning, noon, and evening.

Zoodle squirmed invitingly? Ok, who was in charge of the MOAT cams? DJT! I hope you weren't sleeping on the job!

I hope I didn't miss the...hey who took my pants?

[Susan]

Josh, did you have them on to begin with?

[Peri]

*spreads out on a sheet* I was already doing that, but if it helps Graz, I'm glad to be here.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Someone brought over a movie called 'Dead Alive', which is not actually a movie at all, I think. I suspect that a 'B' movie studio was being shut down so all the production people said "Hey! We've got all this blood and gore and stuff! Can we use it all in 90 minutes or less? And would it be WAY funny if everyone watching passed around 12 or more parfaits before it started?" The answer is - YES!! It's a sort of zombie movie and in the end all the zombies are at a party in one house (I pass lightly over the scene in which a spinal column and a pair of lungs are primping in front of a mirror) and the hero has to get to the top floor to save the girl. He straps a lawnmower to himself, commando style, fires it up and hacks, spews, flays and chops a path for himself. It's a total riot!!

[Joshkr]

Susan...well of course I did...ummm...I think

Is this like that dream I always have about showing up at school with no pants?

[Trillian]

my test results were: Joe Normal
43 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 34% Dork

how am i not a total nerd?
I'm an Engineer
i'm at home on friday night watching Star Gate SG1
(that Daniel Jackson is hot BTW)

I demand a recount

[Joshkr]

Trillian...you have to wiggle invitingly like Zoodle to get a recount...

[Susan]

Peri, that sounds like a great movie! I wish I could watch it.

*spreads out on the sheet*

Anybody want (or need) any of this Nutella?

MMMmmm...chocolate hazelnut goodness.

[Joshkr]

*spreads out on the sheet between Peri and Susan*

ahhhhhh...this is the life!

[Graz]

Wow, thanks everyone.....they'll never suspect I'm not working now......

Except for the jello. That may be hard to explain.

[DDi]

*jumps up and down flailing her arms ever so not gracefully in the air*

Me Susan! I want/need some!
Ok, so I can't really eat it... so what? I could smell it, can't I?

BTW, it took me over 2 hours to get home tonight. I dont know what happened, they didnt say anything about it during the traffic reports on the radio but for some reason all of the roads and highways headed towards my town were bumper to bumper. Is everyone moving to Wisconsin and I missed the memo?

[Peri]

Just plot the jello as a variable. It'll make the graph look nice.

[Joshkr]

Peri = queen of spreadsheets :)

[Zoodle]

Mmmmmm..."chocolate hazelnut goodness".. *reaches for the nutella but gets hit by DDi's flailing and trips* Oops..sorry Peri, sorry Susan, oh my goodness, that's definitely not the nutella jar.

*blush*

[Joshkr]

even if she uses Lotus 1-2-3...which I believe is illegal in WA

[Graz]

You're right, Peri.....adds an interesting flavo......er.......color.......

*wipes off monitor*

[Joshkr]

Zoodle...no it isn't

But twist the lid all you want

[Graz]

No, Lotus is outdated.....unless it's the Lotus position....

But I think that's illegal in the south-eastern states.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

*spreads sheet on top of KibEl desk*

*lights some candles*

Is this
what you had in mind, Graz??? :-)

[Susan]

Oh, Zoodle, you are right. That is not the Nutella jar...but maybe we could put some there.

In a completely polite and decent way, of course.

[Joshkr]

Eleanor...you're my hero...

[Trillian]

well, ok, if you say so Josh

* wiggle wiggle wiggle *

[Peri]

*takes a tip from her handy dandy calendar*

Graz, my love - let me know when you're off..done..finished..when you leave the workplace. I have some data I'd like to go over with you. And an extra packet of jello.

[Peri]

I'm always willing to participate in an Excel tutorial =)

[Graz]

Well, hell....I may stop at the store and get enough jello to fill a bathtub.......

But not strawberry.

It stains.

The stains stays for at least 3 days.

[Wurm42]

Ah, but my Power Point will blow you awa....

oh, I can't. Too, too dirty.

[Graz]

Wurm, you have to watch to not get too dirty anything goes here!

[Eleanor]

Joshkr - I don't know if you heinzed on the past post - if you didn't, I mentioned that I'd gone back to when I first posted on the MOAT and read it for a while. I didn't say it this morning because you weren't around, but I will now:

You were magnificient!!!

[Graz]

Wow, that last post made no sense.......am I drunk already?

[DDi]

*runs back into the moat pushing tubs of jello*

Someone ask for jello? It's orange, just made it last night... it's sugar free, 0 calories, and LOTSA fun!

[Peri]

Aw, PowerPoint is all show and no real action! Once you blow away all the flash and show, there's nothing there you can use. At least, there's there's nothing there I can use. Or maybe that's just me. It's probably me. Is it me?

[Graz]

Ohhhh....I don't think orange stains......

If it does, I'll just blame it on that instant tan lotion stuff.......*trying to remember that name of that orange stuff*

[Peri]

I wish I could go back in time and take back all those mistakes....alas! Forgive my..typos.

[Graz]

If I could go back in time, I'm afraid I would repeat some of my mistakes........some of them were just too much fun.

[neophyte]

Ah, if I could go back in time... so many, many things I would undo.

[Joshkr]

Eleanor...I was? Email me what you mean...lol

I'm much less than magnificent :)

Trillian...that's good...keep wiggling...

[Susan]

I don't think lemon jello stains...

Did anyone bring cool whip?

[Peri]

OK, now we're watching 'Sid and Nancy'. This movie is TOTALLY HILARIOUS!! Well, except for the heroin and death and stuff. The first night that Sid Vicious is replacing the bass player in the band someone asks Johnny Rotten why they got rid of the old bass player and Johnny says "He was always washing his feet. Sidney never washes his feet." Spoken in a british accent, this is a line that seriously threatens your ability to breathe.

[Graz]

Why do I have an earwig of Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time"?

*jams 6" rule into ear*

[Graz]

BTW, Trillian......engineering is cool...it's one of the coolest jobs there is......and I'm not saying that because I'm one, either....well, yes I am.

[Joshkr]

Susan..got the cool whip right here!

*hides other whip behind back*

[Graz]

I have to go do some quick tasks for "Uncle Henry"....save a pile of jello for me.....

If it's being worn when I come back......well, that's all good too.