HO-HUM

Another brazen terrorist squirrel attack ignored by the so-called "Department" "of" "Homeland" "Security."

(Thanks to Matthew Alfano)

Comments

[Susan]

***SNORK***

Speaking of him...he just sent a hug. Like I said, I will never understand him.

Jeff, yes. My co-worker thinks he is quite hilarious. There are some funny things, yes. But they get run into the ground.

[slyeyes]

I MAY be speaking out of turn, but on Planet Gurgleblar, "Ja tesz bardzo lubie ta gre" means "I love playing that game at Luby's Diner eating greens."

*checks archives for platoon members. Finds one "Lt. Cmdr Ddi."*

Ah HA!!

[Susan]

The playlist for today...

Tuesday 10-11-05 All Request Lunch Hour
News
Tec report
“Wheel In The Sky” Journey
------
“I’m Alright” Kenny Loggins
“December, 1963” Four Seasons
------
“I’ve Had The Time Of My Life” Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes---Kim
“Devil Woman” Cliff Richard
------
“Take Me Home, Country Roads” John Denver---Eleanor
“Slow Dancin’” Johnny Rivers
------
“Holding Out For A Hero” Bonnie Tyler---Jeff
“Werewolves of London” Warren Zevon---wolfie
------
“Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy” The Tams
“Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” Temptations
------
“You’ve Got A Friend” James Taylor

[Brian B]

Technically DDi, that would be "ma cherie", but who's counting.

Sly,
My Google Maps has me going down through Nashville, across Memphis, and into Little Rock. It's pretty much the same trip I made last year around this time. Only this time, I'm taking my Sirius radio with me and I stay an extra day instead of driving down on a Tuesday and driving back that next day.

**sees werk lurking in the shadows**

**gets pounced on**

[BigD®]

This is old but still funny.

[slyeyes]

BrianB, I heard that a lot of the New Orleans musicians have settled for awhile in Memphis. If you have the time, you might get to hear some great stuff. I know you said it's a pretty tight trip, timewise, but just wanted to give you the 4-1-1.

[Joshkr]

BigD...way too true...lol!

[Tamara]

Voice mail message options

[Tamara]

Come ON! That link was comedy GOLD!

My favorite: "Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak. This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72..."

I was rolling on the floor laughing at that one... But then, I did have Brown Sugar & Cinnamon Pop Tarts for breakfast.

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

*gurgle*

[Brian B]

Thanks for the info, Sly. I think I stopped for lunch just outside of Memphis on my last trip. Maybe I'll do the same and try to find a little jazz bar/restaurant.

Leets,
My hotel dates and location are firmed up for our DC trip. I'll email you the specifics.

Can't wait to meet the DC bloglits!

[Joshkr]

Tamara...good ones!

A few more:

"Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can."

"Hi. This is Josh:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

"Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone. Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone."

"[Voice 1] Answer the phone, please, Hal. [Voice 2] I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that."

[Joshkr]

"Some error occured, please restart your phone and try again"

[rita]

From Zoodle on the 8th:

"I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my a$$."

Do you have any idea how much it hurts when one snorks yogurt through her nose???

[Tamara]

That. Was the longest work-day hour. Ever.

Obviously, I need a 12-step program.

[Susan]

*peers around*

Is the coast clear now?

[Eleanor]

*zips in from doing chores*

I want to thank DB for the blog being down while I was gone so I didn't miss very much.

BigD - I hadn't seen that before - very funny, but it forgot to add that in L.A. in addition to everything else you'd also be putting on makeup!

[Joshkr]

Tamara, the 12 steps of MOATies anonymous:

1 - We admitted we were powerless over the MOAT, that our snorking had become unmanageable

2 - Came to believe that the next post would drive us mad with laughter

3 - Made a decision to hit refresh anyway, or Kibby, as we understand it

4 - Made a searching and fearless inventory of the contents of our noses

5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our boogers

6 - Were entirely ready to post pictures

7 - Humbly posted something stupid, just because...hey I wanna post

8 - Made a list of all food and beverages that splattered our monitors, and blamed fellow MOATies for them all

9 - Gave direct hugs to such MOATies whenever possible, except when to do so would interfere with a grope

10 - Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly said "neener!"

11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our posts, praying only that we would not make the same joke someone else already made

12 - Having had a spit-ual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to bloglits, and to practice these affairs with cabana boys and cabana girls

[Joshkr]

(ok, MAJOR apologies to Bill W. regarding that last post...Dr. Bob also)

[MrFishair]

Sly- No silly, I just meant he could make take the long road through St.Louis and then to TUlsa and on to Little Rock. I knew it was not possible. It's at least 6 hours out of the way.

That's why I said, that sucks.

But I also remember that night spent under the table in the basement a few weeks back...........mmmhmmm.....so I guess you could say St. Louis sucks. ;)

[Joshkr]

Mr Fishair...that woman has a thing for being under tables...but I can't believe she calls herself "Saint" Louis.

Umm, are we talking about the same girl?

[Tamara]

Louis? Girl? ...Josh?

PS 12 steps = so wrong, but quite snork-worthy :)

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Yay, I am no longer forbidden!

[Tamara]

Mike is Louis?

[Lt. Woman]

Tomorrow is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day. - well, given that I live in tomorrow, please don't schedule the scream for the time of my interview.. that would be mighty inconvenient..

I need (stress on neeeeeeeeeed) to change my answerphone to this..
"HI, THIS IS KATHY, I'M NOT MYSELF RIGHT NOW. IF YOU LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU WHEN I'M FEELING BETTER."
The only guy I can think of with a suitably creepy voice is the first guy I kissed. He had a great "evil laugh" too.. I haven't seen him in years though. He was funny , intelligent, obsessed with knives and guns (I once got a bday card signed from "Stephen and Bruce" - Bruce being his 11 inch machete.. he propped the card up and used it for target practice as Bruce's signature.) With his sense of humour, I think he'd have fit in perfectly around here. *Considers looking him up* Nah.. that would look too much like desperation, methinks.. and I wouldn't want him as more than a friend these days.

*sobs .. sniffs*
I wanna go to Vegas! And not AshVegas... Las Vegas! Now! *sobs dramatically* Then to DC.. and Missouri (btw Sly.. only the really friendly Missourians suck).. and California, NY and Cincy and where does Lab live again? near Cincy and soooo many other places.. with a quick stop at Czech Republic and maybe a tiki tour to Guyana and Paris.. and have I missed anyone cos I want to see you all! Oh yes.. Connecticut and Georgia (NOT the Republic of..) and I could just keep going and going.. but I won't. And Florida, of course.

[Joshkr]

(psst...Kaf...Seattle)

[Susan]

(another *pssst*...South Carolina)

[Lt. Woman]

Oh.. and AshVegas is only funny to locals.. some more info..

There's also Roto-Vegas, but that's a bit far for me to travel.. Rotorua.. home of thermal springs that make the whole town smell of sulphur.

[Lt. Woman]

They're pssssst in Seattle and South Carolina? Well, I'd better put them on the tour route, then

[BigD®]

psst squared - North Carolina (but I am close enough to Hotlanta to make the drive)

[MarieP]

Channeling MiK

Hi everyone!
I got a message from MarieP saying that Wolfie just got engaged. 2006 is shaping up to be MOATie Love Year, because it looks like at least 3 weddings will be celebrated then. And the way this is going, the single MOATies will find their true loves next year.
You think maybe someone spiked the MOATaritas with a love potion?((((((((((Wolfie)))))))))) Congratulations! Pleeeeeaaaaase e-mail me with details! What's your fiancé like? Had you talked about him before on the MOAT or was this top secret? How did he propose?
And speaking of weddings, how are Mad and Mike doing? Have their families gone bonkers yet with the news? How's the planning going?
News from the front:
we have moved into another apartment property of the hospital because they kicked us out of the other one to make room for a family moving to Kourou from France. The one we're in now is much farther from the hospital and a lot smaller, though as it's a temporary thing that's all right. It has everything we need - bed, washing machine, etc - but just the bare minimum. There's no TV, which must be driving Giant Frog nuts, though he's not shown any signs of insanity yet. Maybe it's too early for that because we moved in yesterday afternoon.
A few days ago we found a really very nice apartment, though unfortunately it's a tad expensive for our budget: 700€ a month. Forgive me for not converting that into dollars, but as I have no connection at home I can't go look it up. It's very well situated and roomy. It's right on the big lake (from the balcony one sees nothing across the road but the grassy shore and the lake, and across it the city library). We get a nice strong breeze up there, vital in a climate like this one, and we're not far from the hospital and the library. Giant Frog called the realtors last night, so we'll see what can be done. I hope we can live there because all the rest of our options aren't exactly great.
On Sunday we took a break from lugging suitcases of our stuff from one apartment to the other (yesterday a van brought the heaviest suitcases and things to the door), and went to the beach to see a canoe race. Actually, there were three races in a row, but we only caught the end of the second one and the start of the third. The two local teams from Kourou lost (I think one of them was last), but we had fun cheering all the teams on, anyway. For much of the race the canoes were too far out to sea to watch properly, but when they landed on the beach we got to see them up close. One of them was plain wood, but the rest were painted and decorated with many colors, some with their hometown's name in big, bright letters on the side.
If you're wondering why I'm not sending any pictures, it's because I'm saving them all to put up on Flickr once we move into our new apartment and get an internet connection. That way all my family and friends can see them in the same place in very large formats. Otherwise I have to pick and choose which ones I want to send via e-mail and then resize them, but inevitably someone's inbox will be full and I'll have to resend after they empty it, and so on...
PLEASE E-MAIL ME! I'm going into MOAT remission here! I'd prefer you guys sent all messages for me to Giant Frog's e-mail account, which is:
93ch198 (at) gadz (dot) org
But you can also send me stuff at my Hotmail address, which is still:
marialadouce (at) hotmail (dot) com

That's all for now. Nothing very exciting this past week. Maybe next week I'll have moved.
Have a MOATarita spiked with love potion on me!
--Marie in Kourou

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

For a while today, when I tried to go to any part of Dave's blog, I got a "forbidden" error message and thought Uh oh, what did I do? Are they finally punishing me for all my style doohickeys? But it seems to be resolved.

Anyway, our families seem to be happy and no one is cleaning any shotguns so I guess all is well. Very little planning has happened as of yet as Mad is going thesis-crazy. Vegas will be a welcome break for her, I'm sure.

I think Wolfie needs to drag her fiancé on here. Unless he thinks he'd run away screaming...

[neophyte]

Whew! Heinzing takes a while! So far the only thing I don't like about work is that is puts a serious dent in my moat time!

Thanks for all the advice, everybody; I appreciate it! The doctor doesn't want to prescribe Xan ax because it would hurt my custody case. True, the husband does have all the control and always has; I have always capitalized his H on purpose to denote that fact.

Peri, some of the moaties here have cyberly witnessed my anger, and they'll vouch that it's not pretty. When I can take no more I combust like a prarie fire! I burn fiercely, flames licking the sky, and I destroy everything in my path... but that leaves nothing left so I burn out quickly. Usually, I'm an inferno for ten minutes and then I'm done. It leaves no permanent impression on me; within a few days I'll have forgotten completely that I was mad, or what I was angry about. But THAT isn't a good way to learn from my mistakes!

However, there are some hurts that run too deep. Some things scar... and no amount of fire can rid me of them. And only some of those things are divorce related. But I go to court on Friday; hopefully that will reduce some of the stresses.

Thanks and hugs to all who offered symapthy or advice.

[Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Oops, that should be "Unless she thinks he'd run away screaming..." I'm pretty darn sure Wolfie is a she from all reports.

[DDi]

I'm still trying to fancy catsup, but had to throw this out there before I forget...

BrianB, re: "my sherry" - I was trying to be lame/funny. I guess it didn't work. Or it maybe it did since Tamara was ROFL, either way sorry for slaying it. I should have written "moja wisienko".

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

*gropes around in the shadows*

Yes dear Wolfie is definitely a she wolf

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

hmmm I left some punctuation out of that last post

[Lt. Woman]

Mike.. if wolfie is a "he" of the male gender, he'd have to come over here and have a civil union.. none of that going to Canada stuff just cos it's closer and all!!

btw.. 700 euros..(can't do the funny E) is $844.69 USD

MiB.. check your.. I mean the Giant Frog's email! Well... soonish anyway..

Neo.. I'm glad I've never seen you in combust mode.. I burn long and slow.. take my sweet time to get fired up,, boil over and then simmer and stew for a couple of hours.. then I'm better. Additionally, I just realised that I sound like a casserole.

[slyeyes]

Remember Dave doing a column, or something in a book about one of his first jobs being to help business people NOT write letters such as "Dear Sir; enclosed is the enclosed enclosure?"

Apparently the author of the following did not attend such a seminar:

"Dear Slyeyes: Enclosed are the records you requested on the above individual. If nothing is enclosed, that is because we have nothing on said individual. Sincerely, Ille Literate"

There was one sheet of paper.

[Lt. Woman]

Form letters ROCK!!! Also, they're prepared for everything!

[neophyte]

I believe you did indeed drop your punctuation, Mad. Was this where it goes? :)

Yes dear, Wolfie is definitely a she, wolf!

[slyeyes]

Oh, I neglected to mention the letter was from a school.

[neophyte]

Slyeyes, at least she got your name right.

And *snork*

[Blogchik]

Lt Woman, I also get angry like a casserole. Not 'rock me like a hurricane,' but 'angry like a casserole!"

must get back to work. I have a Greek midterm tomorrow.

Am very tired.

I keep thinking about my ex-BF, the one who called yesterday. Being this tired isn't helping. I'm pulling myself out of daydreams a lot. Trying to keep my eyes open in class. I close my eyes and I see him. He haunts me.

I need to talk to someone about this...all my close freinds are like, "Not THIS again!" Someone who won't say that. A professional type person.

[Jeff Meyerson]

MiK: Hi. I was going to say that "700 Euro = 844.690 US Dollar" but Kaf beat me to it.

What's the temperature down there?

Kaf, on your world tour you left out Dhaka. And Winnipeg.

[Hurricane Peri]

I LOVE 'Rock Me Like A Hurricane'! That's exactly how mad I get!

Sly, save your form letter for tomorrow, when we scream. Routine, mindless and totally unnecessary stupidity like that should lend a lot of pep to the group frustrated scream. Personally, when the blog clock says 10:00 am (9:00 am my time), I'm going to give it all I've got. I live near the edge of the city so I'm going to drive out a bit to do it.

Blogchik, I'm at home for the next few weeks. I'm feeling a lot less crazy myself and have the time, patience and empathy to listen if you want a sympathetic ear to talk to. For this post only, my email and YIM id are real.

[Peri]

Jeff, I meant to tell you. Based on your recommendation, I watched the rebroadcast of the first three episodes of 'My Name is Earl' the other night. I'm still not sure what I think. Lots of it was very funny but I found that I couldn't work up any sympathy for Earl himself. He was too bad of a guy for me to cheer for his new leaf. I was rooting for Joy when she was firing the crossbow at him. Still, I did laugh a lot and that's not something that most of the new sitcoms are doing for me. I'll try a few more episodes.

Speaking of the new TV season, I am SO disappointed in 'CSI Miami'. It is so very very overwrought and contrived, and David Carruso ought to have refused to read those ridiculous lines they gave him. The original 'CSI' is now my favorite.

[Joshkr]

"Additionally, I just realised that I sound like a casserole."

My surprise snork of the day, thanks LtW!

[Brian B]

Sorry Di,

I was having a fairly humourless day and it appears that I missed your joke. Wasn't trying to nitpick. On the plus side, I learned a new polish phrase! Now, can you translate that to Czech also? It would definitely start with 'moje', I think. It's the 'dear' or 'sweety' that I don't know!

Glad to see that the newly monikered MiK is settling into the new digs.

On the anger thing, it really depends on the target of my annoyance and/or anger. I pretty much let everything roll like water off a duck's back. I have an incredibly long fuse, but that just gives people plenty of warning. Which they should heed, because normally someone gets hurt when it blows. Physically and/or emotionally.

Gotta go make dinner for P and me. Salmon caeser salad, yum!

[Eleanor]

Peri - 10:00am blog clock time will be 7am here in su.so.ca.

Count me in!!!

[wolfie]

The bossman is going to be pleased when I let out a scream at 10 tomorrow morning.
Assuming I go to work. I think I have the plague.

[Peri]

Oooof! Jamie has taken up basketball lately and tonight she came home with the registration forms - and the price tag that goes with it. Lately I've had a broken car, J's birthday, and J's growth spurt and corresponding new wardrobe to pay for. How far can the budget stretch before it snaps? At least I can only sink so far. Listen to this story:

Sept 28th was Jamie's dad's birthday. She called him and he told her how broke he was and how he couldn't afford a present for her upcoming birthday. (A side note: he's 41 and has been unemployed long enough for his benefits to run out.) She was so sorry and felt so bad for him. On her birthday, he called her from a friend's place and told her he couldn't afford his phone anymore and how badly off they were. She was given a fair amount of money for her birthday and is determined to send it to him. This man is thousands of dollars in arrears for child support, never calls her, never sees her...last Christmas was the first time in 3 years she had seen him. But if I say even one gentle word that MIGHT be criticism of him...talk about a tearful inferno. How does a guy like him inspire such fierce devotion from a good kid like Jamie? I know it's just her idea of her dad, and not the real thing at all, but holy smokes.

[Peri]

El and wolfie: scream twice as loud for me, k? I'll do the same for you.

wolfie, I have a cure for the plague. Come over to my place and I'll administer it to you.

[wolfie]

Oh h*ll yes.

*trades ducky slippers for sneakers n heads to Peri's*

[Peri]

I have to add that Jamie recently took a hell of a shot to the head about men, friends, promises and how things are in real life. Not a lesson a 10 year old should have to swallow but she took it like a champ. She also showed her fierce devotion to me and I think she learned a life lesson. Sadder, older, wiser...that's my best girl. Me, too, I guess.

[Wurm42]

Brian,

Sorry it's been a stressful week for you. I can sympathize with the feeling of my personal fuse running short...seems like its a stressful time for many MOATies now.

**HUGS to everyone who needs them**

[Jeff Meyerson]

Peri, wasn't my recommendation. Susan & Brian (I believe) were the ones who liked My Name is Earl (possibly others as well), while Di & Jackie were on the negative side. I was just passing along the information for those (like you) who wanted to try it and make up their own minds. It just isn't really for me either.

I pretty much let everything roll like water off a duck's back. I have an incredibly long fuse, but that just gives people plenty of warning.

Not me, Brian, I'm with Peri. I tend to explode, at times, and not always appropriately I admit. One of my worst faults is lack of patience and that often leads to the explosions. But as long as I'm not hungry, have a good book to read and am not in a hurry, I'm not too bad.

[Peri]

*tickles wurm under the arm*

I know worms don't have arms but I believe that wurms have some lovely strong cuddly ones.

[Peri]

Can I add some more? Of course I can, there's no one here to stop me.

Jamie is a much kinder person than I am. She will look in the farthest corners to find a reason, an excuse, a justification...anything that means you don't have to be sad - and no one has to be bad. She's happiest if things look good on the top. She hates it if I look, probe, expose and reveal the crap underneath. We've been butting heads about this quite a lot lately. I've been trying to explain to her the concept of forgiveness. Forgiving doesn't mean that stuff never happened...it just means that you don't care about it anymore, that you don't let it blacken your brain, cloud your outlook and poison your soul. Forgiving means that you let go - it's all about you and what kind of baggage you choose to take with you.

[slyeyes]

{{{Peri}}}; and pass this on to {{{Jamie}}}.

It sounds like a situation where she thinks if she gives her dad the money, he'll pay more attention to her.

*wonders how all of this screaming will go down at work*

[Peri]

Some of us are going to have to pay the excess baggage fee. Some of us are still wandering around the airport trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

[Peri]

Some of us just put the child to bed, had a visit from Ronnie and now have the ways and means to explore the meaning of life. I shall start with the Sex Pistols and bang my head from there.

[Higgy]

Some of us have just finished digging holes in the planting beds to put a tree and 2 five gallon shrubs into their places.

And are therefore dirty and knackered.

Peri - insert some heavy innuendo here about banging and heads.... I'm too tired to do it myself. Maybe wolfie can help you explore the meaning of life....

[Peri]

*shows a dirty Higgy a hole to plant the tree in and knackers him*

Sorry! Sorry!

I'm in a ridiculously good mood. Also frisky.

wolfie has already shown me the meaning of life. I treasure the memory. And the pictures.

[slyeyes]

knackered. What a great word.

[wolfie]

As do I Peri.

*sighs*

[Peri]

I have some questions about the inside of my head. I'm wondering if everyone, or anyone, lives like I do. I seem to have arrived in my head sometime in my late teens. I've had lots of experience but no real - growth? Is that the word I want? I know how to be a grown-up: I've done my job for 16 years, I've raised my daughter alone, I've been cowed and beaten, I've faced and beaten some demons. I have a home, stuff in my home...I'm going to be 40 on my next birthday. (A moment of silence, please, for that admission.). When do I get to be the adult that my age says I should be? I see them all around me. My colleagues are older than I am, my parents are retired and I'm wondering if they can afford a nursing home....all around me - grown-ups. Last night my dad came into my house and asked me what it was that he could smell. I told him it was my vanilla body spray and he said "oh yes, that's it!". I told him something like that when I was 16. I'm still high, I'm still Peri, I'm always Jamie's mom....when do I turn into a grown-up?

[Peri]

Yikes!! Who wants to be a grown-up?!?

Never mind.

[wolfie]

I won't grow up
I don't want to wear a tie
or a serious expression
in the middle of July

Cause growing up is awfuler
Than all the awful things that ever were
I won't grow up
Never grow up
Not me.
not I
Not me. So there.

[slyeyes]

I used to ask that....then I decided that I'll go kicking and screaming into adulthood.

There's a HUGE difference in being responsible and behaving like a grownup -- IMHO. I think you can be a responsible human being, yet still find the fun, joy, and giggles in life that a kid would find.

It's the "Grown-ups" who suck the fun out of life.

*raspberries to them*

[neophyte]

AAAAUUUGGGHHHHHHH!

What? The scream wasn't tonight? But...but... but... I need it NOW. I'm going t be at the doctor's office tomorrow morning so I won't be able... Wait, come to think of it, that might be a perfect time to scream.

I've been heinzing and there are things I want to say. But I am dutifully biting my tongue. So, this post says, in effect, that I'm not saying anything.

Again.

*goes to look for pickles*

[Lt. Woman]

Peri.. when you let the b@st@rds get you down. Take my advice. Don't grow up.. just grow old while still acting like a 15 year old, causing your daughter to die of terminal embarassment. That's what all good mothers do, so far as I can tell.

On the J's dad side of things, you may just have to let it ride. Dads are precious to a little girl, and the image in Jamie's head will not be what the rest of the world sees. Not seeing him fosters that illusion. To have him reduced to a mere mortal is very difficult to take, and if you can avoid it, don't let it be you that opens her eyes, just be there to comfort her when it happens, and don't protect her from the reality of what he is and what he does. Let him be hoist by his own petard. It sounds like it won't take much longer.

Josh... you're welcome!

[slyeyes]

This song fits in very well here.

Growing Older But Not Up (Jimmy Buffet)

I rounded first never thought of the worst
As I studied the shortstop's position
Then crack went my leg like the shell of an egg
Someone call a decent physician
I'm no Pete Rose, I can't pretend
While my mind is quite flexible
these brittle bones don't bend

Chorus
I'm growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
So let the winds of change blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead

Sometimes I see me as an old manatee
Heading south as the waters grow colder
He tries to steer clear of the hum drum so near
It cuts prop scars deep in his shoulders
That's how it flows right to the end
His body's still flexible but that
Barnacle brain don't bend

Chorus

So now don't get me wrong
This is not a sad song
Just events that I have happened to witness
And time takes it's toll as we head for the poll
And no one dies from physical fitness
That's how it goes, right to the end
As the days grow more complicated the night life still wins

Chorus

Let the winds of change blow over my head
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead

[Peri]

I love slyeyes, neo, LtW, Eleanor, wolfie, Mad, Polly, Di, Susan, Marie P, elle, Punky, Just, sandy beach, Belle, SN, ...*gathers up the sexiest women of the MOAT and puts them under her pillow*

Yeah, yeah...whatever! *delivers a roundhouse to all and everyone who comes round to take them away*

[slyeyes]

*gives Peri a hug and a big wet kiss*

*skips off to bed, careful not to slip on the polished wood floors in her footie pajamas*

*THUD*

Ouch.

[Peri]

hoist by his own petard

Yes!! That has been my action plan so far. If I don't knock him down, then when he falls he did it all alone.

That would be so awesome if it was true. I hate hate hate that man and I have not always kept my feelings to myself. I'm not the grown-up I aspire to be and my girl has had to pat me on my shoulder and tell me she loves me. Ask me to stop crying. She asked me to tell her how to tell when people are screwing with her. How the hell do I break the news to her? I have NO idea.

[Peri]

"Screwing with her" were not the words she used...just the gist of what she asked me. She doesn't have the vocabulary yet.

[neophyte]

Peri, the hard part is that often we don't know when people are screwing with us. I would love to tell my kids how to protect themselves from people like that... but since I clearly can't protect myself, then how can I teach them? I agree, that usually it is best to let people like that hang themselves. They all slip up eventually and people see them for who they really are. It seems to me the best thing for Jamie is that you are there to help wipe up the tears when it happens. *sends hugs to all the little moat children who can't protect themselves*

[MistressFishair]

Can I climb under your pillow too Peri???

*sniff*

Mmmmm I do like vanilla.

(I'll check back in a few to make sure I didn't kill the Moat, I have to finish up some laundry and painting a closet door. Woohoo. Mr. Mom's work is never finished!)

[neophyte]

I'm not the grown-up I aspire to be Um... I'm not very adult myself, it seems. I'm sorry.

*sends self to her room*

[Peri]

Heheheh! Empty MOAT, homegrown weed...what an opportunity!

My favorite movie is 'Sid and Nancy'. Next is 'Natural Born Killers'. My ex thought this was weird but he was a coke dealer and his favs were the 'Hellraiser' movies. (OK, ok...I like those movies too..don't tell him). I tried to show him 'Kids in the Hall' and when he couldn't see that I tried Monty Python. Well....he thought it was all very stupid and we just ended up standing in the video shop, staring at each other like strangers.

[Peri]

Headcount - Mr Fisher, Neo, me...all the ingredients for a VERY intense party. You know - one of those parties that is happening all over the house...but all the best guests are in the kitchen with you.

[Bismuth]

I think I smell a nuclear nacho...

[Peri]

Kaf, when you mentioned your interview earlier...I wondered why you were GOING to one. I have employed a nanny in the past and I know exactly what a mommy needs - you're it. YOU should be interviewing potential families and they ought to be begging for you.

Bis...in the kitchen, we forgive a nuclear nacho. But we'll all snork ourselves silly.

[Joshkr]

Peri...lol exactly...everyone needs a Kaf

Kaf...will you watch my kitty?

[Peri]

I gave sly's lyrics a miss the first time round, 'cause I'm not crazy about JB. But I just read them for real and I think they were very apropos.

Mind you, at the moment the Dead Sea Scrolls seem appropos and deep to me...oh my goodness! Ozzy Osbourne is a god!!

♫
I'm going off the rails
on the Crazy Train ♪

[MistressFishair]

where the hell did my post go!?!?!?!?

Well, rimsh!t.

I said something like Peri, please don't let me drink the bong water again.

Neo- Everything will be ok. I promise. I wouldn't lie to you. Remember there is no lying in the kitchen. Well, except for maybe on the counter top. ;)

*makes cool attempt to Hi 5 Bismuth and Joshkr and the same time*

*forgets at parties he always has a beer in both hands*

*beer explodes and covers everyone*

oooops. Sorry guys.

Gee, I sure hope you girls aren't wearing white shirts.

Wake me up when September ends .........Billy Joe, dude, you can wake up now.

Just sayin........

[Joshkr]

Gee I sure hope the girls are wearing white shirts

What?

[Peri]

OK, I really think I deserve some sort of extra-special HTML badge for my last post. Considering my current state of affairs, the fact that I was coherent enough to put that together was, like, suprabloglitlike. A benchmark.

I just want someone to pin a new badge on me.

[Joshkr]

Peri...I will :)

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

Fisher - I was up close and personal with Billy Joe on Sunday trust me he is awake. And somehow the fact that cell phones have replaced lighters during slow songs and concerts is disheartening.

Peri & Neo *hugs* - I just want to say to both of you that you are wonderful strong women and you are both giving your children the tools they need to grow into wonderful, funny, lovable, adults. We all have disfinction and hard times on our lives, but it is the attitude with which we face those times and the ability to laugh at ourselves after that define us. Don't worry about growing up. Look at Dave he is still making booger jokes in his 50s!!!!

Weasel - I love you and I miss you. Thanks for putting up with my mood swings and thesis tantrums. I can't wait for this to be over in another month. Even more I can't wait to start my life with you.

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

Tamara, Polly and Susan my single mom statement to Peri and Neo applies to you as well. And Sly I think you know you already raised two wonderful girls. And Eleanor same goes for your kids.

Kibby, deon, Brian, Fisher, and soon Higgy - Thanks for being great dads and providing your children with strong male roll models.

/sentimental scientist moment

Way to go Angels!!!! I think Angels Cards in the world series!

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

um corrections to above posts
Disfinction=Disfunction
on our lives= in our lives
roll=role

and just forgive whatever else I screwed up. Time to sleep.

[Joshkr]

Oh...and Zoodle is also a great single mom

[Peri]

I never noticed, Mad. Give us a cuddle before you go off.

[Mad "engaged to weasel" Scientist]

yes of course zoodle is and I hope to meet zoodle live and in person later this month. My previous list of good parents was not ment to be exhaustive only the list of an exhausted mind

*gives Josh and Peri a long cuddle*

[MarieP]

Now Im' fully heinzed and it got me all teary-eyed.

I love you guys and I'm so grateful I got to know all of you, I never thought I would ever meet such a big group of wonderful people, esp. on the internet.
You make me laugh and you make me think and you teach me things, thanks for sharing all this with me.

*group hug*

/sappy comment

[Peri]

Jamie has reached a point where she probably needs to wear a bra. Several of her classmates already do but this is NOT a high point of her life. We bought 2 yesterday. I can hardly believe the conversation I just had with her. She was fussing about how it would show through this or if she bent over like that and I finally said yes, bras have to be accomodated like that - your life just changed a little bit. She's afraid her boyfriend Harrison will break up with her. ????? I asked her why she'd want a friend who was that silly. Apparently, he's cute.

[Peri]

I've been sitting here thinking about all the grief and anguish I've endured because of 'cute' boys. It's a very grown-up moment. *sigh* This poor kid has no idea what has just begun.

[wolfie]

Ahhh the things I've done for cute men. Possibly to them as well, but it's too early for that.
Bra straps showing is a fashion no-no now? Can someone inform hollywood of that?

I just did my primal scream for the day. Not one person came running either (I'm in my office, in a crowded building). This worries me.
Scared the bejesus out of the mouse too. I think it caught air trying to escape.

G'mornin Moaties *group grope*