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August 31, 2003

HO-HUM

Another brazen terrorist squirrel attack ignored by the so-called "Department" "of" "Homeland" "Security."

(Thanks to Matthew Alfano)

Comments

One more thing - I lost 48 lbs. =)

Peri. Now I really hate you. *joking--I hope you know that!*

What caused the weight loss? Meds? Just feeling better about yourself and life in general? Meeting a hot guy? I once lost 30 pounds by starting to date a hot guy; I just lost all appetite and it melted off. Of course, I was 36 at the time. And exercising regularly.

But I'm sure that had nothing to do with it.

DDi is a meanie-head.

"Prezerwatywy" sounds like "preservative" but means "prophylactics". So now "prophylactics" are "preservatives".

WAY TO ABUSE A JOKE, DDI! ;) ;)

{{{{{rita}}}}}
You have ALWAYS made it out alive - with class and grace. What goes around comes around. Want a Reptile?

Tamara, you and DDi are just too cute to be allowed to exist. But since you're so cute, we'll have to let you live.

Bless you, my child. I printed it out and when I get home, I'm having me a reptile. Tom's got some gooooood whiskey.

But can I substitute 7-Up or something? No more caffeine for me today.

*blowing raspberries at the snickerdoodle*

I gave you a chance to tell it how you wanted to tell it, but oh no - you just had to let me, the slayer-of-all-that-is-funny have a go at it. It's all your fault!

Thank you, Peri, sly, Tamara, Susan, Lt. Woman, and Eleanor. You've helped me make it till quittin' time. I love you all.

*ugh.....*
*dies*

*jumping up and down with both hands in the air*

PICK ME! PICK ME! I know a good song with a guys name in it...

Tamara, plug your ears, and cover your eyes

"G00dbye Earl" by the Pixie Sticks ;)

Weight loss started out intentional, but then the 'trouble' started. I had no appetite and part of my therapy was exercise. I got an elliptical rider and that thing is a miracle worker. I have actual muscles in my calves, thighs, buns and tummy. Also, it makes you so sore and tired you can hardly think about anything else. When I met 'the guy', I was ready for him because I didn't feel self-conscious or old or fat, or any of those other things. In fact, I was thinking about something else entirely and while I noticed his almost black wavy hair and navy blue eyes, I did NOT react in the giggly, breathless way I suspect most other women react to him. It was like a story, or something.

I'm very excited. Can you tell?

*looks around the Moat for any Earl's that might be laying around*

Hmm, seems like we don't have any MOATies named Earl, either... I wonder why that is...

Trying again...

Wooo! One phone call returned!

Before I forget...Rachel Ray...I sometimes watch 30 Minute Meals...cause it's on before Good Eats...Usually whatever she makes looks good...but she is just tooo perky.

And the E.V.O.O. thing....just irritates me.

Name show...

Friday 4-8-05 Sharecroppers All Request Lunch Hour
News
"Rosalita" Bruce Springsteen---Jamester
"Beth" Kiss
"Sara" Fleetwood Mac
"Eleanor" Turtles
"Valerie" Steve Winwood---Josh(or Valerie)
"Donna" Richie Valens
"Michelle" Beatles
"Lovely Rita" Beatles
"Amie" Pure Prairie League
"Amanda" Boston
"Mrs. Robinson" Simon and Garfunkel
"Tracy" Cuff Links
"Susan" The Buckinghams

Not just MOATies...but names nonetheless.

Link. I made up the bit about how much gas costs in Europe. I just know it's a lot more than here.

Peri, it's just what you deserve and, actually, you've earned it. I want to hear all about it. If you tell the story tonight, I'll read it tomorrow--I hope. I work 8-3 but most of the school is on the 11:30-6:30 shift for parent conferences. Three and a half hours ALONE! with a computer on a high-speed connection!

Let's hope that no one wants me to actually werk or anything.

I don't know what it was in my last post that I couldn't post...but I just kept trying and it finally went through.

rita blinded me, with her light

... or was that seeing stars from when she hit me with her purse?

Susan, about Rachel Ray--me too!

Like most OJ drinks, the alcohol is hard to taste.

*snork*

Not the case in the screwdrivers at the bar my reunion weekend. Of course, this is SC, land of the mini bottle.

I watched the bartender make one...(I didn't have one)...short squat glass...filled with ice...poured in the mini bottle of vodka, and a splash of oj to fill the cup...didn't look like an ounce even of oj, to the ounce and a half that I think the mini bottles are. Just enough oj to make it look orange. Barely enough to taste.

No, kibby, that was when you sat on the knitting needle.

*smooooooch*

Ahhhhhh, good ol' SC, where I was able to take my rum drink to my niece's wedding rehearsal on the beach, and it was just in a nice insulated soda cup.

Mom and Dad never suspected a thing.

About Rachel Ray? ME TOO! That girl has a lovely ass. In whatever size she's showing to the camera.

And Susan... why in the HELL is she using extra virgin for EVERYTHING?!?! That just goes to show that she doesn't really understand, you know?

Perkiness: Yes, I hate it, too. Seems like she calmed down a lot, though. Unfortuantely, the old shows and new shows are so intermingled that you never know which one you're gonna get.

I've been trying to post this for 20 minutes. Typepad are wonderful, Typepad are great, I'm gonna name my first child Typepad because I think it's such a beautiful name
*crosses fingers and tries again.*

Rita, here's some information about bioidentical hormones.

El.. it's about 50f outside right now. Heading for 60 and some showers, and I haven't even thought about turning the heat on.

Thanks, LW. I was too lazy to google it for myself.

I had some trouble with typepad too--and when I tried to report it to itself, it told me I couldn't do that.

Perkiness? Back off, Labby, 'cause I'm gonna defend perkiness to the end. Due to some extremely painful routines, I've gone from a 44DD to a 40DD and 38DD is my next goal. I've gone from tucking my nipples into my waisteband to pointing to the stars and I'M VERY PROUD! These pecs were hard earned and I love 'em.

Can't hardly wait to show 'em off.

Mmmm, extra virrrginnn....

I am a sad Tamara. I wanted to join a gym this week, but I woke up at 3am with a really icky cold. It's always *something*, isn't it?! ...I should sign up and just go cough on people tonight.

THAT kind of perkiness is well-loved, Peri! It's that perky I'm so cute Rachel Ray that annoys me.

You go, girl!

And we're all waiting to see 'em. I think I can safely speak for all of us, male and female.

I do wonder about the E.V.O.O. I know not to use it for everything...but what is really annoying is that she'll mention the E.V.O.O. and then say extra virgin olive oil. Just say it to begin with and stop trying to be cute with the E.V.O.O.

With apologies to Mike Weasel, I've got the hots for Mad Scientist. I've been looking at the pics and this is my girl. I suspected as much beforehand but now I know it for sure. The fact that she was with Polly, my main squeeze, just confirms it. *sign of the cross to the reason that caused me to cancel my Vegas plans* I'm gonna go find that girl and give her a kiss.

Oh, I know! My gob, if you're going to explain the freakin' acronym EVERY DAMM TIME YOU USE IT, then, please, oh, please, STOP SAYING THE ACRONYM!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I wouldn't do her. I just might have to kill her first is all.

[Die, TypePad. Die!]

*SNORK!!!*

Oh, how we've missed you, Labby!!!

Keep practicing, Tamara-rhymes-with-rectangle. You're aim will improve.

*sticks tongue out at Labrador*

Heheheh! Holly just called and suggested that we ought to...well, what we ought is probably best left to the imagination. My dad shall pick up J and I shall...see y'all later!

*zips in from taking a nap*
*y-a-a-w-n*
*s-t-r-e-t-c-h*

Announcement

Best thing about "Lab in the newspaper":
FIRST!!!!!

Re Rachel Ray - the NYT article mentioned her use of "E.V.O.O." as well as the "cute" way she carries so many things from the fridge at once. They also talked about her $40 a day show. When she came to San Diego I was interested to see where she went, because she always says she goes where "the locals" go, and at least here she did!
She's also getting ready to have her own talk show, because Oprah told her she had such a good personality!

El, it *is* annoying how apple is bundling Itunes and Quicktime now. I am getting quite annoyed at pushy browser plug-ins, though I suppose mostly I'm angry at Real player and Windows Media player, who just WILL NOT cease their pointless battle for dominance.

Silly software designers.

Peri- {{{HUGS}}} Very glad to hear that you are doing better, going back to work, aaand have met a seeming wonder-guy. Hope that someday I'll get to that point. (Well, with depression. Not with the guy)

On my old computer Wurm, I had nothing but problems with RealPlayer and now I don't download anything that won't play in WMP, which seems to be much better behaved. Since I haven't been able to put anything in my new iTunes, I have no report on that.
BUT, can I delete the iTunes setup thingy on my desktop now that it's downloaded???

El, yes you can delete the setup file- the real program's installed to a directory somewhere, probably c:\itunes.

Done, Wurm, thanks! Now, can you tell me if it's possible to take a picture that you have as an icon on your desktop and make it be the desktop wallpaper? If this is complicated or too boring for the MOAT (!), you can e-mail me.

*zips out to check e-mail*

I have to go help set up refreshments for a faculty meeting. You know how ugly teaching professionals get when there's food.

LOL, Rita! Good one. When Jackie was the union chapter leader she bribed the teachers to come to meetings during lunch with pizza.

She also had to squeeze money out of them for the end term party and one year the librarian brought his three kids with him (their school had already ended) and they stuffed themselves with food meant for the teachers. Talk about your major uproar!

There aren't a lot of songs with guys names in them, are there?

Kaf, see, I knew there were some I forgot - Rita and Michelle! And what about "Annie's Song," El?

And I thought of another: Tell Laura I Love Her

There are a lot more women's names: Linda, Barbara Ann, Billie Jean, Dawn & Ronnie (both Four Seasons), plus what about those non-name names?

Honey?
Patches (actually there were 2 "Patches" songs - the depressing one by Dickie Lee where it's a girl who kills herself, and the uplifting one by Clarence Carter where it's a raggedy guy.

Guy's names? One comes to mind: Norman (Sue Thompson)

Susan, I should have thought of Tracy; it's my niece's name, for crying out loud!

I almost hate to mention it but: Mandy and Brandy.

Enough.

Peri, that is so great that you're (not your) feeling better. The guy and teh weight loss are almost secondary to the other.

Coffee calls.

How can I zip a song I have on my media player thingie so I can send it to Susan? Any ideas? Helppppp

*stands up in front of class*
Hi. My name is wolfie and I'm a computer muppet*

Hey? I'm over at Peri's place and she's trying to convince me that you are all not nuts. I've been paging through old MOATs and nothing that I have seen has persuaded me otherwise. I like Peri and she's been having a real bad time. She seems to like you guys, however, and so I'll go home and check you out further. This is all extremely strange, you understand. I've never seen anything like it.

Intriguing article in the new Discover about a group that is working to build a clock that will run for 10,000 years and keep perfect time for the whole period- leap seconds and all. Sounds bizzare and pointless at first, I know, but the idea starts to grow on you, especially when you read that the full-sclae "clock" will be several floors tall, mostly built into a mountain cliff and contain mechanical displays that will show things like the rotation of the planets and stars...far more than just hands on an hour dial.

It's a bit awe-inspiring to think about planning for a giant machine that will run for longer than the history of (known) human civilization. How many countries even plan for 50 or 100 years down the road? Few people I work with right nnow (20something grad students) have real plans for 10 years down the road.

Discover: The "Long Now" 10,000 Year Clock

Then I thought of one way our society IS planning 10,000 years ahead- how to store nuclear waste. Depressing.
NSC Guide to the Yucca Mountain Project

Of course we're nuts... but in a good way.
Welcome, and have a moatarita!

*waves to Trinity*

Hiya n grab a caban boy or girl or both of your choosing and grab a hammock. Welcome.

Careful in the shadows, there be critters in there.
Bwuahahaha
*slinks off to the shadows*

Announcement

You Can Call Me Al

Trinity, I note that you did NOT give us your true e-mail addy - really haven't made up your mind about us yet, have you? If you ask Peri she will tell you that we are - wait for it - Mostly Harmless.

*chuckles at her own cleverness and zips out*

*wraps Cloak of Normalcy around the Moat*

*pssssssssst, we're being checked out*

Hello, Trinity and welcome. We have only one rule here. Class, what is that rule?

CLASS (in unison): DON'T PULL LEETIE'S FINGER.

That's right. Peri can get you all decked out in grass skirt, coconut bra and propeller beanie; and go over the naked jello slip and slide guidelines.

Ummm....one thing. Have you, um, been in the kitchen yet with Peri? Two words: "Helmet" and "Fire Extinguisher".

*exits, realizing that's three words*

*runs back in*

YOu know, steel toed boots might be a good idea, too.

*runs back out*

Trinity, the MOAT can be hard to digest at first- was for me, anyway. But there are a lot of Class-A Good People here...we are just, collectively, perhaps a bit on the geeky side and tend to let off steam by being a little quirkier/less inhibited/crazier here than we can be in our real-world daily lives.

There are also a fair number of inside jokes about this point. Don't ask about penguins and coconuts unless you really want to know. **grins**

PS- Thanks to the Herald webmeisters for the new "prove you're not comment spam" function.

*zips in*

I hate typepad.

And I feel better for having said it out loud, so to speak.

That is all.

*zips out*

I'm going to Taco Bell and get Nachos Bell Grande to have for dinner while watching THE GAME!!!!

I know ALL about you, Eleanor. You, too, Wolfie. I've been learning a whole lot. As much as I can read, Peri tells me more. No matter what I read or where it seems to go - there is something behind the story. Peri can talk as fast, or faster it sometimes seems like, as I can read.

Sorry, Per.

*zips in clapping*

Announcement

Trinity is cool!!!

*zips out to watch The Game with her Nachos Bellgrande*

Trinity ~ All about me? She told you I was sweet, innocent and virginal?

*adjusts halo*

OK, I've got it - I'm pulling Leetie's finger 'cause I need the relief. And I think that may be all I really need to know about this place.

You all should know - I LOVE Peri's place - anything goes here and she let's you, even encourages you, to do what feels right at the moment. Also, there are some very good looking men here with Peri's Rick.

"Trinity" is the name of one of our bloglit's daughers; Just's little girl.

"Trinity" is the name of one of our bloglit's daughers; Just's little girl.

*hands Trinity a pitcher of MOATarita's*

Welcome Trinity! How are ya this evenin'?

Me? I'm fabulous. Am listening to the P's arguing in the kitchen - mom is telling dad that she wants to order a new bedroom comforter/sheet set from a catalogue the convo continues as follows:

Mom: *pointing to a picture in a catalogue* This is the one I want.
Dad: *takes glasses off and turns his head away* I don't like it.
Mom: *moves closer with catalogue and points again* It's this one... right here! This one! You see?
Dad: *now making his way away from her and going up the stairs* Nope. Can't see it. And I don't like what I can't see.
Mom: *chasing him up the stairs, catalogue still in hand* *out of breath* THIS ONE! Look!
Dad: *shutting the door to the bedroom* Nope.. can't see it, and I don't like it if I can't see it.

*sigh* Makes me want to just jump up and get married... how bout the rest of you singles out there?

SORRY! Sorry!. There is no Rick. I don't know what I was thinking. *OW!! Let go of my ear!* Blame it on - well, what can I blame it on?

Apparently, we're all stoned. You all believe that, right? I'm hearing about parfaits - that's a good thing, right?

OK, that's enough of that. I should know better than to introduce new people to the MOAT. They all think you're weird, anyway, and if they don't....well, I get first crack at them.

Peri, we're not weird, we're quirky :)

*dons an 'Invisibility Cloak'*
Hear that, Trin? Quirky. Not nuts.
*smiles*
These people are the best. Better come back and fire up the bong before you go any further. Can your hubby take the kids on Friday night?

*zips in from game*

Yes, DDi, that's exactly what we are - quirky - I like that a lot. We are a quirky crew!
(Think a larger version of Gilligan's Island.)

Hi Trinity!

Agreed. We aren't weird. We're quirky. And aren't we also surprisingly normal?

Welocme to the Moathouse Trinity.

I'm not sure if you're in luck or not.

I would give you a welcoming grope, but I'm right handed and I'm a bit gimped up at the moment.

Wait, I have left hand, right?

*rolls a left handed grope for Trinity (and anyone else who wants one)*

Hey Fish - Could we please see a pic of your whole chest??? :)

I mean, of course, just so we could get perspective on the size of the bruise - yeah, that's it - perspective!
*hee, hee*

yeah, like Eleanor said, we just want an idea of the size

(heh heh)

El ~ We should really check him all over for other bruises he might not know about. Or be able to see for himself.

Oooh...Friday night...

Better rest up Trinity...

Yes...wouldn't want him to have any, um, undiscovered bruises.

We'd be providing a service.

*runs back carrying a bag of nurses uniforms*

Quick girls, get'em on so we can examine Fish to the fullest.

I agree - it's the least we can do for him. What if there's bruise in the middle of his back - or somewhere - hmmm....

Fish - 10am tomorrow, blog clock time, report to the Nurse's office, west/north/east corner or the MOAT.

I had the odd feeling today that someone new was going to post on the MOAT...

Trinity, is this you?

of the MOAT, of the MOAT, of the MOAT!!!!

*slaps forehead*

DDi, your post wasn't there when I set up the appt., but no problem. We should probably do it twice anyway, just to be sure. You know what they say,
Better Safe Than Sorry.

A broken clavicle may be the best thing that ever happened to our fish. We love our fish. Often, frequently and with marked (mark ED) enthusiasm.

Oh God. Yes, that was my Trinity.
Well, it easily could be. She's like that, you know?
DON'T let her tell you your future unless you REALLY like to live on the edge. The razor edge. I suspect she may be crazier than we are - but only 'cause I gave her the ways and means. She was totally amazed that a girl could live like this, you know? =)

You know - pawn off the kid, break out the wine, bring on the bright young men. (OK, that last was a stroke of luck on my part - don't tell her! She thinks I'm supercool kid of the MOAT! Go with it. Please?

Check list:
1. Gorgeous young man, kissing my neck.(Must be crazy, but don't tell him!)
2. Jamie at my dad's place for the night.
3. Has a 'return to work' date - but...it's not tomorrow.
4. People currently in the house - cheerfully thrown out.
5. This young man? Moved his hotel room to one in a Holiday Inn just down the road from me. Not that this matters right now. But still.

Check. Nite.

Nite to B3. Check.

And Eleanor... since I already let the cat out of the bag, this is for you: E.V.O.O.

The very best way to post on the MOAT - ever:

I know he's here. I've known ever since his car pulled into the parking lot. Holly opens the door for him but he looks at me when he comes in - those navy eyes look at me and I can't believe that a man that looks like this is smiling at me. He commands the room just by walking in. I look away and sip my wine because I can't look at him and be cool at the same time. I feel him come up behind me - it's like the whole world swings into place - he's warm and strong and takes up all the space behind me. He asks me a question and I guess I answer - I can hardly breathe because he has moved close enough for me to feel his stomach, his abdomen, his chest behind me. His hands rest on the back of my chair and he leans slightly over my shoulder. He smells slightly of Aramis but mostly of autumn sunshine and wide open spaces. He bends his head, his mouth, a little closer to my ear and asks me another question. I can't answer - my breath catches, my skin ripples - I yearn for this man. There is no one else here. Slowly, his hands move onto my shoulders and slide gently down my arms. Back up - slowly, so slowly - his fingers circle my neck and cup my chin. He tilts my head back to him. My eyes are closed but his gaze compels me to open them. He is looking at me with those blue eyes. I look back at him and his thumb strokes my lower lip. I am helpless and he lowers his mouth to my neck. I can feel his breath, his teeth...his hands on my face, in my hair...his lips on my earlobe.

I can't sleep right now because every nerve in my body is singing 'Ave Maria'.

Oooh... sounds like it's been a fun day for the Moat. Added to that, the gazillion and one Moatie emails.. well.. over twenty anyway.. we're a ch atty bunch!!

Yay for Peri's Perky Boobs!! (WBAGNFARB)

Jeff.. I thought of a couple more male name songs, but none of them are male Moatie named.. unless any of you are considering changing your name by deed poll, in which case have you considered:
Timothy (yes the mining disaster song from the bad song contest!)
Jake the Peg
Mickey (or Sylvia and Mickey or whatever the song is.. )

Trinity - Hi!! Nice to meet ya.. good to see ya! Don't pull Leetie's finger. Really. Not even JU is that brave and he's married to her. You do and it's blamed on you!
Trinity the advice columnist looks like fun, but I'm more a fan of the Weeklynewz's Gertrude Wankmuscle.

If we're going to be on Gilligan's Island, I want to be Mrs Howell!! Not because of the skeevy multi-billionaire, but the clothing and the jewellery are just too much fun! Also, Gilligan doesn't hit on you.

I've got another job interview at some point tomorrow afternoon, but I don't know exactly when. Details to follow.

Di.. your mother discusses these things with your father? In our house, it goes a bit like this

M: Is that new?
F: No, we've had that for ages
M: Really? I don't remember it...
F: Maybe you just didn't notice it?
M: We've had it for how long?
F: A while now. Isn't it lovely? And I got it on special, so really, we're saving money, not spending it.
M: Show me the money you've saved.
F: It's the new vase on the dining table
M: There's a new vase?
F: No, dear.. we've had it for ages.

Sheesh.. the Moat went R18 and I missed the notification. Peri.. all I can think is
"Sing out, Louise!"

Shall I describe the tongue that traced the curve of my ear - the teeth that nibbled along the path his tongue had forged, the breath along my neck...the hands that curved around me - the fingers that found...

Well, you get the idea. Wish I did. This guy has scruples. He says he's coming back for me - as often as it takes.

We'll see.

This may be the most diabolical plan men ever came up with, 'cause right now I'd...I'd...well, I'd hit all the high notes, that's all I have to say.

If I thought I couldn't concentrate or remember anything before - I had no idea.

Frustration's a bitch ain't it?

Don't try to convince me you don't have some toys to improve that.

Mmmmm..

Chardonnay followed by.. I mean accompanied by.. I mean both... pasta carbonara, vegetables on the side. Dinner and it's only 8pm

It wasn't the same. At all. =(

Pasta carbonara! Mmmmmmm! =)

How could we forget one of the MOAT's all-time favorite songs with a guy's name in it?

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown

Male songs names? Mack the Knife.

Will Smith's "Gettin' Higgy With It".

Or

"Gettin' Kibby With It."

Jethro Tull - A Song For Jeffrey

Don't think any of these are repeats:

Johnny Strikes Up the Band (Warren Zevon)
(Looks Like) Daniel (Elton John)
Fernando (ABBA)
Big Bad John (Charlie Daniels)
Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog (CCR)

And from the Beatles:
Doctor Robert
Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Hey Jude
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
For the Benefit of Mr. Kite

Chuck Berry - Johnny B. Goode
Poe - Angry Johnny
John Jacob Jinglehimer Schmit

Trillian! Glad to meet ya!
*holds out finger*

*gently hugs Mr.Fisher*

I'm posting from my laptop! w00t! Getting everything reloaded has been.... um... time-consuming. If I can get it so that I can play music with it tonight, I'll be one happy Leetie.

Elton John - Daniel

Doh! And of course:

Looooie, Looooaee *hiccup*

Trillian! Glad to meet ya!
*holds out finger*

*gently hugs Mr.Fisher*

I'm posting from my laptop! w00t! Getting everything reloaded has been.... um... time-consuming. If I can get it so that I can play music with it tonight, I'll be one happy Leetie.

Elton John - Daniel

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