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August 31, 2003

HO-HUM

Another brazen terrorist squirrel attack ignored by the so-called "Department" "of" "Homeland" "Security."

(Thanks to Matthew Alfano)

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oops. I neglected something earlier.

CONGRATS, WOLFIE!!!

*consults etiquet book slipped under the door my anonymous Moatie (deon?)*

My bad.

*more sedately*

Best wishes, Wolfie, and

CONGRATS, MR. WOLFIE!!!!!!.

Does he know about us yet?

Please note that Peri's pants parties contain many mulitpull simulposts. If I had known this I would have kept my pants on more often.

Mike, my love...I have seldom met a man more lacking in slime.

(the use of 'pull' was not accidental. I just liked the way it looked.)

huh. In "preview", that worked.

Blame any other typos on over-excitement.

Sly's topped me out again.

multi-pull= lots of zips, ties and pocket-like homes

You know what, LtW? That's not what I was thinking of AT ALL. But now I am. *snork!*

HEY!! Who took the draw string from my 'Spongebob' jammies?!

*holds up pants with one hand and shakes the MOAT bushes with the other*

*flushes out a hooded figure, who flees on foot, trailing a long flannel string*

*attempts the chase but trips over droopy drawers*

Fine. Just fine. I like it this way. Why is it so dark and quiet?

holes, not homes. The other would be interesting, though.

Rumour has it that Mr Wolfie knows about us, but hasn't visited as yet. I'm composing a list of questions for when he does show up.

*wanders off*

now where did I put those spotlights...

*abandons 'Spongebob' as a bad job and wanders unsteadily off for more lucsious and promising pastures*

*leaves behind a tantilizing scent of vanilla and implied sexual promise*

Woohooo!

Sorry to run off without explanation, but I got a phonecall from my parents.. they've been gone all of three hours - they've arrived, but discovered they had forgotten some MUY IMPORTANTO paperwork (see how my Spanglish is improving? Enchilada, and taco very much). Said paperwork was either in the dining room, living room or kitchen, or possibly upstairs somewhere near the computer. Could I find it and post it to where they were staying IMMEDIATELY if not sooner. So I did. I eventually found it (no surprises here) under a pile of my mother's scrapbooking stuff, and zipped *loves El a copyright fee, but it was really urgent!* around the corner to the postbox.
Good daughter duty done for the day, I came home to find Peri's Spongebob jammies falling down. What to do, what to do?
*lightbulb*
*throws chessboxer to Peri*
Catch this, sweetie!

Thank you everyone *lickssss all around everyone*

MrWolfie does know yall exist, but he figures he's better off not knowing exactly what I do. He has vague ideas about it, but he's willing to ignore what he doesn't know for sure.

Kat ~ it's not questions you have.. it's a burning curiousity since I told you a few things bout him. lolol. I can't post those pics. Sorry.

Deon ~ wallace and gromit was very good. I'm glad I saw it. Will probably see it again.

Now what was this I saw about a half nekkid peri and a party in her pants?
*strips off and prepares to join the fun*

I tried to run in and post, but couldn't. Or so said the message I got. It may come through.

Back to football.

The burning curiosity will be all better when the antibiotics kick in.

I have several "What are your intentions towards our Wolfie?" kinda questions for him. After that, if he wants to share photos, that would be tolerable, too.

Moaties don't go out into this world alone - we've got your back. And your front. And your curiousities.

*perks*
I'm not sure why I'm perking exactly, but something about having my curiousities sounds pervie.

*arrives at the actual moat and realizes she can't possibly swim in this condition*

*idly wonders what 'chessboxers' are*

*isn't really fussed about it and surrepticiously throws wolfie's clothes into the moat, for Fluffy's amusement*

That patch Fluffy is wearing is really Wolfie's spangled thong. Looks very spiffy, doesn't it?

whew... that means that I did it right!

Well so much for horribly expensive push up bra. Sank like a rock. No wonder it could help me defy gravity.
Ah well, clothing is over rated anyway.
Now how in the heck does one climb into a hammock with some modicum of grace and decorum while one is naked?
*eyes hammock skeptically*

You meant you had your curiousities aroused, right wolfie? I LOVE it when that happenes!! Arouse my curiousities, please!

(LtW already did it once - wanna try for a double? A triple play? A homer?!?!)

*arouses Peri's curiousities in ways I can't post on a family moat*

But it involves individually wrapped cheese slices, a beef stick and a garden gnome.

Please disregard my last comment. It was unnecessarily vulgar, and frankly insulting to a well-respected and honored poster. Namely LtW. It was also misspelled.

Blame it on wolfie. The little wench has me all discombobulated. And that's a hell of a thing to be.

*gathers up Peri's combobules and tucks them away for safe keeping*

I love when she calls me wench. Gets me all nipply.

*opens her combobules for wolfie*

See this one? I got this in Bangkok. And this one? Amsterdam.

*whispers* Is that one *points to far corner* legal?

*looks around nervously*

That one? NO. You didn't see that one! At all!

*smooches wolfie to distract her, and tosses the combobule in question into the MOAT*

I live in Canada. We're very law-abiding here. Very polite, very respectful. No combobules here!

No combobules, legal parfaits. Got it.
*adjusts 'reasons to visit Canada soon' list accordingly*

You might need to distract me more. I think I saw Fluffy diving after something shiny in the Moat.

Hee hee! Why do you think we're so peaceful and laidback? The climate? The government?

It's all these free drugs.

OK, the secret is out. I spilled the beans. The men in the black suits will be here to collect me shortly. Except that this being Canada, they'll send me a bus ticket and ask me to sign a receipt and a five page questionaire on why I required a welfare bus ticket. Then refuse to allow the claim. And send me a summons for a court date last Monday. Then they'll send a bus ticket to get me to court.....well, you get the picture.

*getting distracted just looking at what was going on*

I think I could have learned a few things if I had been around more...stupid werk.

Team won...woooo! My class came in second in the tailgate competition...and I can go get a drink!

I may return...we shall see.

*Gropes around before running out slowly...so I could get groped...hint hint*

Are the men in black suits cute? Do they have handcuffs?

*gropes Susan as she does a slow motion run-by*

Did y'all know that wolfie is the most perfectly mannered, perfectly polite, most well-mannered and most understanding and forgiving pet that you will ever have in your house? Her sexual prowess, knowledge and expert touch I will keep to myself.

I'm housebroken too. Well, mostly. Sorry about the plant in the corner Peri. It was an accident.

*blushes*

And Peri has awesome tatas.

Sorry. The alcohol has cut my censor switch. Not that I didn't mean it, but I should have also mentioned her simply delicious intellect and her cunning ability to turn a phrase and make me spew (re:waste good vodka) a beverage out my nose before leading into the whole tatas thing. My apologies.

*spews good vodka out her nose* *wipes up with the roll of paper towel experience has taught her to keep by the monitor*

I love it when I'm personally involved in the spewage. It's a vanity thing. But I'm a spewage whore - I'll take all I can get.

*enters without pants*

*notices the others are wearing pants and briefly exits to put pants back on*

Is anyone familiar with Heywood Banks?

He is a hoot!!! And now I've got an earwig; 18 Wheels on a Big Rig. "Roman numberals! eye, eye eye, eye eye eye, eye vee, vee, vee eye, vee eye eye" ....but I should stop before I give you all an earwig.

*exits, humming the tune to "Flies Eyes".

We aren't?
*looks down*
Hmmm.. must be time to wax again.

Sorry, slyeyes! I know a panted MOAT must seem like a joke. Especially on a Friday night. But it's amazing how good an inseam can feel against a recently plucked chicken (to once again use Punky's impecable imagery) or how powerful animal magnetism can be. Pull up your pants and think of the queen!

Oh. My. God.


I don't think the three beers I had was enough.


This was the most insane two hours ever. And I'm not saying why.

At least not here and now.

Let me just say if you had told me three hours ago I would have spent as much time talking to some of the people I did, I'd still be snorking.

*not considering plucked chickens right now...or anything of that sort...I don't think my mind needs to go there.*

I think I need to go to sleep.

Not that I'll be able to...

*not going to consider waxing there either*

Hey Susan!! Sounds like you had a great time!!

Sorry it took me so long to get back. One brother turned up for a visit and then the other one got out of bed, (at 3:30 pm of course.. not that he got to bed before 5am..) and the nocturnal brother hopped on the computer before I had a chance to blink.

It looks like I missed a great time, dangitall.
Peri.. never apologise.. send chocolate instead. Or a hot guy. I promise not to complain and take my apologies with good grace.

Does anyone else use Opera browser? Because I think I hate it more than asparagus.

Wolfie Congratulations. I am so happy for you. Looks like 2006 will be a big year for moatie weddings. Well assuming that the three recent engagements tie the knot in 2006. Lets see in 2005 we had Higgy and Bis. 2006 3 moaties so we need 4 moaties in 2007. Get to work all you singles.

Wolfie good call on having Susan play Chapel of Love. I must have missed that you did that. Great minds think alike.

*looks around and sees she is talking to herself*
*slips out*

Oh I forgot how about those Angels!!!!

Oh and thanks everyone who supported Mike and I in the walk or Hope. We really appreciate it and so do the 1 in 8 women who will be diagnosed with Breast cancer in their life time.

*big hugs and tight squeezes*

Hey.. can I get married in 2006 as well? Then we'd have to go exponentially and have 8 Moaties getting hitched in 2007. I think we're gonna need some more single Moaties. I'm just saying....

BTW.. I have no current marriage prospects and don't hold out high hopes for a wedding in 2006, but I regularly tell people "If I ever meet the guy, all I need is time to put on some shoes (I'm likely to be barefoot or wearing only socks), then I'll meet hin at the altar." No fuss, and as few guests as I can get away with.

Peri.. you asked earlier, and I don't remember if I answered or not..

Chessboxing Read all about it here..

If I'm repeating myself, please ignore me and return to your regular programme.

Regarding waxing. That topic was being discussed recently on the radio. The on-air personality read an e-mail he had received from a woman who had attempted to perform self-waxing. It was absolutely hysterical. I was already running late for a breakfast meeting and couldn't listen to it all and I've e-mailed the station asking them to either repeat it or publish the e-mail on their website. So far, I haven't heard from them; but here is what I remember of it.

It's important to note that the woman was home alone; her husband having taken the boys somewhere for the night. She had a product called a "cold wax" and she was bored. Not a good combination.

The wax is on strips of paper and when the paper is removed, the wax heats up. She was of the opinion that it wouldn't be warm enough; so she used a blow dryer to heat it up more. She also decided to give herself a bikini waxing.

She closed the lid of the toilet and put her right leg on it and placed the strip from the front all the way to the back door. Then taking a deep breath, she took ahold of the paper and ripped. She described hearing sirens, horns, steam whistles and shrieking. When her vision returned, she looked down at the paper in her hand, expecting to see her trophy for the excrutiating pain; a hairy pelt. She held an empty strip of paper. The wax was still on her from front to back.

She was trying to think of what to do; and said that it was at that point she made a huge mistake. She took her foot off the toilet and stood with it next to her left foot....and realized the wax now sealed her up. She said she prayed she wouldn't get the urge to poop, because she was afraid her head would explode.

She thought that maybe she could remove the wax by sitting in a tub of hot water. She got into a tub of the hottest water she's ever submerged her naughty bits; and succeeded in getting herself stuck to the bottom of the tub.

She thanked heaven for letting her husband win the argument about installing a telephone in the bathroom, and called her best friend to come over and lend a hand.

It was at that point I had to get out of the car and go to the meeting. I'm assuming she got unstuck.

All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal:the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now . The Wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home, fixed dinner for my family and got everyone settled for the night. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet.

I made sure no one would need me and I could head for the bathroom in peace. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or wherever).No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girliest of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works. You'd think.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the wax. I go one better. I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my a$$. (Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me.)

I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! So with my next wax strip, I'll move north.

After checking on my beloved family again, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right a$$ cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.)

I inhale deeply. I brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind from the pain! . Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed. Do I hear crashing drums?

OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy -- my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist.

But why is there no hair on it? Why is the wax mostly gone?

Where could the wax go, if not on the strip?

Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet.

I see hair -- the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout Nooooooo!!
I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet.

I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door.

Vagina? Sealed shut.

A$$? Sealed shut.

A little voice in my head says, "I hope you don't have to sh@t anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next.

Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in. The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? Wrong.

I get in the tub -- the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment -- and I sit.

Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax.

So now I'm stuck in the tub -- literally!

I call my friend, Liz, because she once dropped out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's never good to start a conversation with "So my a$$ and womanhood are stuck to the tub."

She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the a$$. "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now.
I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet if you tell them the truth."

While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girlie goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off!

In the middle of the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to other subjects!) I find the lotion provided with the wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations from Liz and we hang up.

I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that point anyway.

I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. Never know when a moustache might start to come in.

Tonight, I attempt hair dying.

zoodle, where did you find that! I've been googling it in case it was on another site.

Nwever mind; I found it.

Sly ~ I actually have it saved from an email I received because I loved it so much!

b-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r, it's chilly on the porch this morning; making typing difficult.

I hate it when I have to be a practical, resposible adult when I want to go play with friends but yucky life steps in and says "No."

It is necessary for me to bow out of the Vegas trip. As I had related on my blog, last Friday, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had an appointment with his surgeon yesterday and the surgery is scheduled for the 20th. The doc is very optimistic. It's been caught early and there MAY be a chance he doesn't even need chemo.

I was waiting to find out when the surgery would be before booking my flight so I could make sure I was here. Now that it would theoretically work out, I'm too close to the departure date to get decent airfare. Well, there are a couple but I would either have to extend my stay too much, or fly out Monday night at 11:30 pm to Charlotte, NC; then fly back to St. Louis arriving 8:30 Tuesday morning. I'm going to need those days off to spend with my parents on the day of the surgery and after.

But the important thing is, it sounds like Dad caught his cancer early and THAT'S what's important.

OK, off to the "Y" for a swim and then to the office to *twitch* werk.

That's good news about your dad, sly. We'll be praying for him. And you. Bummer about Vegas, though. I know you were really looking forward to it.

I dodged a laser tag for awhile. This is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and too many kids had plans so I moved it to next Saturday. I found some camo pants and an olive green tank top at Value Village so I'm going to play too. I'm going to zap those little rug rats!

Hey all, out of town this weekend so limited computer access and LTTG on all of these, but

CONGRATULATIONS, WOLFIE!! FANTASTIC! (And we want a picture of you two, ASAP!)

Sly- **Hugs** about your father

Sly and Zoodle: ROFLMAO on the wax story. Thanks!

She took her foot off the toilet and stood with it next to her left foot....and realized the wax now sealed her up.

I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right a$$ cheek.

And then I hear the slamming of the cell door.

I get in the tub -- the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment -- and I sit.

Ouchie! Sly and Zoodle, that was priceless! Poor woman. Or, as Mr. Tavolta said in Saturday Night Fever, "Dumb f#ck."

Sly, that is really great about your father. Sorry about Vegas. We are flying out Monday for just that reason - the prices. We're taking JetBlue to JFK. You could fly to NY and then back to St. Louis?

Maybe not.

Jackie is going to search the web for fares.

waxing
oww

I showed Jackie the waxing story and she couldn't stop laughing, the sadist. She said her manicure/waxing professional warned her how dangerous it could be doing it at home.

Hi, Bangi!!!

Susan, how's the reunion going?

And where the heck is everyone?

G'morning/afternoon Jeff!

I've barely recovered from the waxing story.. needless to say, it's something I haven't tried in that particular area. If I want something closer than a shave, I get one of those "wash off" depilatory creams that you roll on or squeeze from a tube, then just wash off in the shower. I am woman, I am not a masochist. Additionally, you can get creams like that for the bikini area so that you don't have to wax. If men don't have to shave or wax the southern area, neither should women.

Sly.. I'm so glad your Dad caught this cancer early. You'll all be in my prayers.

Jeff.. based on the posts around 1am, last heard the reunion was going pretty well! Updates are welcome, Susan!

*zips in wearing surgical mask thingy*

ACHOO!!!

My daughter has given me her bad cold, I don't want anyone here to catch it. I just got out of bed long enough to make some tomato soup and say hi.
Hi.

*staggers back to bed* (The zip used up what little energy I had.)

aaawwww sweetie,you've had a bad run of it, lately..hope you feel better soon!

*loves Laynie some pizzazz until her zip comes back*
If nothing else, you can always take the zip outta the pizzazz

Sly...and Zoodle...that was hilarious. I'm feeling quite squeamish about waxing there...and I'm certainly never going to do that myself. I just don't have the nerve to pay someone to do it either.

AnD Sly, what's wrong with flying into Charlotte, NC? You could see a MOATie, (me) who can't get to Vegas.

But I understand. If it weren't for that, though, I would expect you to go. (and I hope all goes well for your father.)


Jeff, the reunion is going wonderfully.

The football game last night went well. I had to work, but someone brought me a plate from the tailgating. (There was a tailgate competition going on, my class came in second.)

A number of people got together at a local bar after the game. I was quite beside myself...the first guy to talk to me (and for quite a while) was someone I had a bit of a crush on in school. He is, however, very very married, two kids...it was just so bizarre to talk to him. And calmly, at that.

Lunch was today, we had a much bigger crowd than I expected (although I didn't count them) and just a lot of fun. Many pictures taken. (Including, for some reason, with my camera, a picture of me and the former crush...he put his arm around me. *Gasp*) Planning to get together with a crowd tonight at a different bar (without kids...my daughter was at the lunch, gosh, they all knew she was mine. Although she talks a lot more than I did at that age.) and then church tomorrow.

A fun weekend overall...and not over yet.


Attention those of you who had my phone number: my cell phone now belongs to my Husband.

*realizes she doesn't want to talk to neo's STBX and runs to delete number*

Does anyone know if there's some way to lock your p.c. up so you can't log on after one two many? My apologies for a few.. erm.. almost all of my comments last night.

Susan, glad to hear the reunion is going well.

El, so sorry to hear you are under the weather! By the way, may I borrow Brian for mice removal? Here's the thing.

You know how sometimes you don't totally think things through????? Yeah, well, a couple of weeks ago when I went to buy mouse traps (mice traps?) and instead, I opted for the poison, d-Con.

OK, let's jump forward to today. I return from a morning at the office, it's chilly in the house, so I turn on the furnace. I'm working away in the kitchen and the carbon monoxide detector goes off. I called the fire department and they came over to check things out. (more on that on my blog later) While they were here, we went into the basement and one of the guys, the cutest one, of course, caught a box of the poison in the beam from his flashlight. "How long has that been there?" he asked. "Coupla weeks" I said. "It's empty," he said. He moved his flashlight around and over by the door on the opposite side of the basement, the light beam stopped. "And there you go," he said. On top of a suitcase (which I will never use again) was a dead mouse.

Along with the other two firemen, we stood in a circle around it and stared down at the dead mouse. "Something tells me he won't be the only one," I said.

"Nope," one said. The others agreed. They started to shine their lights around the basement, but came up with nothing.

"They usually crawl back into the walls and die in their nests there," one assured me. Only I didn't find that reassuring.

I sniffed the air. "Oh, you won't smell it," one said. How can that be?!?

One of them put on his gloves, picked it up by its tail and walked out the back door towards the woods.

After they left, I re-read the directions on a spare box D-Con...and something I didn't catch earlier. "Mice may consume a lethal dose in one feeding with FIRST dead mice APPEARING 4 or 5 days after feeding begins."

See, that's the thing about traps. You know WHERE the dead mice are going to be.

I don't like this APPEARING crap. I just want them to go away!!

Great, now I'm going to have to move.

The station I worked at in NC was surrounded by wheat and soybean fields. When they were cleared in the fall, mice would come in the building. Poison would be put down...and there would then be little dead mice.

The worst part was smelling them and not being able to find them.

*shudder*

What a miserable day. The rain has been intermittent but never goes away for long. They assured us it would be gone by 4 pm, but as it hasn't and the field was already soaked last night, I guess they were right to cancel this afternoon's game. Too bad they didn't cancel last night's as well.

Susan, glad you're having fun. I guess now that you're a "celebrity" everyone wants their picture taken with you!

Jackie is feeling like she has a cold too, El. Of course that didn't stop her for going out to get her hair cut just now and I'll have to pick her up in a few minutes. Gotta get prepared for Vegas, you know. Take care of yourself.

Lt.W: Gotta agree on the waxing of nether regions question, but as a guy it's not really my call. I don't know how true that e-mail was, but it was funny. My favorite part was the tub of water heated to a temperature higher than that needed to sterlize instruments for surgery. OUCH!

Oh, and for My Name Is Earl fans or those wanting to try it, NBC is re-broadcasting the first three shows tonight.

The worst part was smelling them and not being able to find them.

Amen to that, Susan.

The worst part was smelling them and not being able to find them.

I KNEW IT!!! He LIED to me!!!

*sniffs air again*

Nothing so far.

so I was going to write up a thing about my brief visit to NYC, but I think that shall be a thing for my LJ, since Jeff already recapped most of it. I enjoyed my time with J, J, and J very much. I appreciated the expertise of the native (or mostly native) New Yawkers and had a much better time than if I had tried wandering around by myself.

Yes, I was my quiet self, taking everything in and listening to Jeff and Jackie's stories. We didn't actually "do anything" (museums, shows, etc.) but we had a great walk in some beautiful weather, and that's all that I really wanted, given the short time I had on my own.

Update on the singing portion of the weekend to appear on my LJ in the near future.

*staggers in*

Have you ever been too sick to stay in bed? When all you do is turn from one side to another and can't get comfortable? And your headband which is keeping your hair out of your face keeps coming off from turning your head on the pillow?
No?
Well, it's just me then, OK.

sly, of course you have to throw away the suitcase, what choice do you have? And I'd be happy to send Brian to your place but he is off somewhere in Arizona this weekend killing either animals or birds or something else. They call it "hunting" - YUK! Apparently it's hunting season for something or other.

*uses last bit of strength to push post*

*Attempts to put antlers on dead mouse*

El, could you tell him it's moose season in Missouri?

(what?)

Missouri doesn't have moose? It was the closest thing to "Mouse" I could think of.

*changes type of antlers and fashions white cotton in shape of bobtail*

OK, tell him it's deer season.

And {{hugs!!!}} (from a safe distance so I don't catch it)

Hello again from the su.so.ca. infirmary.

So far today I've watched 2 movies, slept most of the morning, and tossed and turned a lot.

I wish Brian was back from hunting (could be ducks, sly) so he could bring my morning paper upstairs *sigh*. There's usually nothing interesting in the Saturday paper anyway.

I can't ask CG to come over and bring up the paper and the mail because I'd have to fix myself up; i.e., comb my hair, which is pretty much out of the question.

The Padres/Cards game doesn't start until 8pm PDT, which is pretty late in Missouri, I think.
/end ramblings of a sick person.

Hey El, we just watched one of your favorites, Torch Song Trilogy.

Jackie's verdict: It wasn't as good as it should have been. I know Harvey had to shorten and tighten it from his original play(s).

The part I couldn't deal with was Ed & his wife.

Oh, and Harvey looked much younger and a lot thinner then.

Matthew Broderick played the adopted son in the play and Alan in the movie.

there's a new post on the MB, posted by Judi, so far it's been monopolized by yrs. truly and Uncle Omar.

I did just post a little something there. Laynie.. don't read it till you feel better. I'm picking on the Donald again.

*runs through Moat on the way home from baseball party*

Gotta love those games that start one day and end the next. Whose idea was THAT?!?!

w00t!!

*yawn*

stupid fricking bad dreams. I hate the kind that wake you up crying, and then you realize it wasn't a dream; it was a memory

{{Neo}}

Anyone interested in (so-called) "Pulp Fiction" or Stephen King might want to turn on CBS Sunday Morning at about 9:45. Anthony Mason is doing a feature about Hard Case Crime (new pb line featuring reprints of hardboiled fiction and newly written books by King and others).

End programming alert.

The rain finally ended around midnight last night. I know we need it after two dry months - but did we need 3" all in one day? I think not.

Only four days (5 for everyone else) until we leave for Vegas for Vegas Invasion II!! Can't wait.

{{neo}}

I'm wondering if what just happened to me is something that could happen to only me. When the woman upstairs goes away I water her plants. She has lots. I went up there just now and found that she has rigged up a clothes line in the spare bedroom that stretches from wall to wall, neck height on me. I ducked under it and watered all the plants by the window, my pathetic short term memory immediately forgeting what I has just seen. I turned around to leave the room and clotheslined myself. Apparently I was planning to sprint from the room, judging by the speed I hit the line at. It left a mark.

*checking in*

ACHOO!!

Need I say more? Yes? OK. My Sunday paper has not arrived and I didn't realize it until I went downstairs to get it and only found yesterday's. Should this be happening to a sick person?
I think not. So I had to call, blah, blah, blah, and am now trying to remain out of bed until paper is delivered.
/end of su.so.ca. illness update

ACHOO!

My baby girl is 10 years old today. How did this happen? It's also Moldy Cheese Day. That's exactly what having a 10 year old makes me feel like.


Happy Birthday to Jamie!!! 10 is a good age, IMO!

Helpful Household Hint: Cut mold off cheese before eating.

Happy 10th Birthday James!!

Have a wonderful day.

Thanks guys! We LOVED that pic, Eleanor!

I wish I could put you on my sofa with the fuzzy blanket and bring you hot tea and honey. Take care of yourself, sweetie.

I wish you could too, Peri! Thanks for the warm and fuzzy thoughts! That's my favorite b-day pic too!

And thanks to others who sent me e-mail "get well" messages....I wish I would *sigh*.

Kaf, the idea of The Donald in the Hair Hat made me laugh!

Newspaper update:

In the past 20 minutes I've received 2 (two!) phone calls from 2 different people at the newspaper office, that went exactly the same way;
Paper guy: This is "X" from the U-T paper. Have you received your paper yet?
Me: No.
Paper guy: We're running late today.
Me: The house across the street has their paper. I see it in their driveway.
Paper guy: Yes, Ma'am. We're running late today.
(repeat several times)
Paper guy: Someone is on their way with a paper just for you!
Me: Right.

This has been going on for 2 1/2 hours - hmmmph!

Relationship therapy

Peri....I'm trying NOT to laugh at the visual of you clotheslining yourself....but I'm not successful.

That's one of the up sides of being short; I would have sailed right under it.

El, I think the "kitty cat" lady stole your paper.

*dashes out to put last touches on family dinner before they arrive*

I turned around to leave the room and clotheslined myself. Apparently I was planning to sprint from the room, judging by the speed I hit the line at.

Before my parents moved to California there was an incident at the house next door. One of the twin guys (probably late teens) was found unconscious in the basement. There were all kinds of theories (starting with drugs, seizures, etc.) but it turned out he and his brother were chasing each other and one of them clotheslines himself. Scary.

Be careful, Peri!

Someone is on their way with a paper just for you!

Aww, that's nice, El. And it would be nicer if it was true.

And happy birthday to Jamie!

Moldy Cheese - GNFARB?

Good one, Bis!!!

Still here waiting...

tap...

tap...

tap...

here kitty, kitty...

tap...

tap...

tap...

I saw a movie last night that made me laugh really hard. I can't think of one single person in RL who might like it. Too gross and disgusting. But I think most moaties would love it. So, here is my movie recommendation: If it comes to your town, go see The Aristocrats. If you haven't heard about it, here's what it's about.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Sandy!!!! Good to read you! LOL I need to get that movie.

Happy Birthday Jamie!!!!

I agree with Sandy, though the Aristocrats is not for those for whom vulgarity is offensive.

Also, I recommend seeing any animated Disney movie made pre-1990 right before the Aristocrats.

...though the Aristocrats is not for those for whom vulgarity is offensive.

Exactly, Bis! Just why I thought the moaties would love it. Especially, you, joshkr. ;-)

Newspaper update:

Just called the paper AGAIN:

Newspaper lady: (incredulous tone of voice) You're saying that 2 people called you and said the paper was on its way and it's not there yet????
Me: Right.
Newspaper lady: I'm going to tell the manager.
Me: I just want the paper.
Newspaper lady: And we're going to give you one day's credit for the inconvenience.
Me: I just want the paper.
Newspaper lady: I'm going to tell the manager.
Me: I just want the paper.
Newspaper lady: It's on the way.


Here is an audio link to the Aristocrats joke, told by the South Park guy! Severe Warning!!!

Where have all the MOATies gone,
long time passing...

El... I'm here!!

I wish I was at home and had my messenger, and my email and my everything that's mine. I miss it.

Happy Birthday, Jamie!!! May all the wishes you make come true (and could you wish for George Clooney [or even the local guy I've been dreaming about..] for Aunt LtW, please?)

BTW.. *yellow for caution and a couple of other things...* I also found this while I was looking for birthday cakes... Hmmmmm... and while I was looking for Lab's Moat, so that I could bookmark it on my parents' computer, I found a link to something called (I think) Passionate Pinatas. Mostly for bachelorette parties. Wanna guess the shape?

oops... not looking at what I was doing... this should have been the yellow for caution link... oops..

Hi Kaf!!! I'm still waiting for my paper - bummer :( but everytime I call they tell me to have a nice day - hmmph!

I will when I get the paper, I say!

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