A FRIEND TO MAN?

It turns out there is a fly out there that causes lumpy squirrels.

(Thanks to Isabelle Briand)

(And, yes, this blog is well aware that "Lumpy Squirrels" would be a good name for a rock band)

Comments

[Wurm42]

LTTG and not caught up, but a few timely things:

Slyeyes, Eleanor, thanks for the email breadcrumbs. I have a different email for blogchick and have sent her the breadcrumb letter.

[sandy beach]

Wow--late night cameos by two elusives... pretty exciting Saturday night!

For the record, I had never heard that Jamie Lee rumor either.

[¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP)]

I never heard that about (*swoon*) Jamie either. But frankly, I would't give a rats even if it were true.

Zoodle: Excellent photo! Georgous girl! Pity you are two feet shorter than I am. But then, as Sly suggests, if you stood up more often....

I have the same problem with photos as you do. There's maybe three in the entire world that are worth a damn, and I've posted two of them.

Good bed positions BTW. The last one reminds me of how the Honey sleeps. And just to be clear about this, I'm the black cat in the picture.

On the RL front, The Honey and I played up last night and consumed rather too much wine to enable me to play golf well today. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it. Nothing to do with any unfortunate rumours that I'm a crap golfer in the first place. Nothing at all. Nope, not a bit.

Well, would you believe....

No, I didn't think so.

We also went to see H2G2 on Saturday night. While its not a copy of the book, there's enough of the story in it to make it recognisable and you can see the hand of the master in the screenplay. I deem it quite enjoyable. I liked the Vogon characterisations - particularly the one trying to find Trillian's home planet and the one at the counter. I've MET people like the counter vogon in real life. Not enjoyable.

[¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP)]

My apologies - the "more Jamie Lee Curtis" links seem to branch off to some weird free porn thing that tries to get you to load a, no doubt, yucky Active-X control. It didn't do that when I was googling to them. Just ignore those and trust me, the photos were inspiring.

[Eleanor]

Jamie Lee Curtis had her boobs "done" and then in the movie "Trading Places" she showed them to the world. They looked nice.

That is the sum and total of my Jamie Lee Curtis trivia.

Carry on.

[slyeyes]

um, Wys, exactly why kinds of pics were you linking to?

[Leetie]

Interesting article, sly. "Nobody's talking" confirms it!

[Eleanor]

For the Boy's Wall

[kibby F5™]

Well, haven't completely Heinz'd yet.

Talked to Brian a couple hours ago and we'll get together for dinner. No word from Blogchik on making it down yet.

I noticed a nice FedEx package at the front door, but there seemed to be too many guys packed into a Skoda a few feet away. So I walked right past it.

I'm noticing my "Powers of Observation" have improved since my recent employment with Eleanor. or maybe it's paranoia? Marvin? Eleanor have that effect on you too?

Now, where'd I put that silly string?

[slyeyes]

*Goes go google "Skoda"

[slyeyes]

Ah. A Skoda is either a Car; or a a one-person news "network".

[slyeyes]

oops

[slyeyes]

Oh for crying out loud. I'm watching CBS Sunday morning, and apparently PETA is taking on the fish industry.

LEAVE MY FOOD CHAIN ALONE!!

[Rumour Mill]

Whispers Sly is eating fish. Pass it on

[slyeyes]

Oh, by the by...some time back, the subject of a Bloglit dive trip came up -- possibly involving the Blue Hole in Belize and I said I'd research that.

Here's a website.

[slyeyes]

Then there's Ruby's

[slyeyes]

Oh, when logging on last night and this morning, Messenger froze up on me. Last night, there was a window that started to pop up about an offline message, but everything froze before it completely loaded. When I finally accessed Messenger, the offline message was not there. This morning, there was a window with something about a friend invitation, but it too disappeared before I could do anything about it.

So, if someone thinks I'm ignoring a message, or invitation, I'm not. Please send it again.

[Eleanor]

*takes kibby into KibEl Office*
Since you haven't "Heinz'd" yet, I wanted to tell you that
This man has sent in a resume and an application for employment with our Agency, but I said I'd have to check with my partner - what say you???

[kibby F5™]

>Goes to check C.V.*

Oh, a Skoda is the locally built car. It's also the Czech word for "unfortunate".

Use as you wish....

[slyeyes]

A car named "unfortunate". Kind of like when Chevrolet tried to market the Nova in Mexica. Excet that No va in Spanish means "No go."

Yeah, that didn't work.

[Bangi_Sizzles]

so i'm guessing it's not THAT nice a car...

[kibby F5™]

Or when Gerber started selling baby food in Africa where the people are accustomed to seeing a picture of what's inside as the label (illiteracy's high).

It's not just the car's name, it the company's name.

[Eleanor]

*zips in with bruise on forehead from smacking self*
How could I have forgotten
The Sports
Section of our Hunk Wall!

[slyeyes]

Oh, I had forgotten about the Africa thing! YIKES!

We have a large grocery store chain here called "Schucks" (short "oo" sound). I've always thought that an odd name for a business. But they do well.

[Eleanor]

Alex Rodriguez is the first Yankee to hit eight home runs at Yankee Stadium in April.

This from the NY Times. I am not so obsessed that I am counting -yet!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

( pssst...did u guys get Johnny Depp and Strider ?)

[kibby F5™]

Oh, and his gun's bigger than yours.

[slyeyes]

*drool* Sean Connery. I almost put his poster up....but he is getting close to the limit re maturity. But DAYUM, he aged well.

[slyeyes]

Pistol envy?

[Eleanor]

*sends rejection letter to Brosnan*

We're very sorry but we just don't think you would be a good fit in the KibEl organization. Thank you for your letter. Buzz off.

*zips out to look for Johnny Depp and Strider*

[slyeyes]

*decides to start own PI firm and hire Brosnan*

You just can't let a guy like that go to waste.

[Eleanor]

Depp and Strider for Bangi......

[kibby F5™]

Sly's got maturity "issues".

[Eleanor]

A bargain for those with spare cash!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

El--now tell me what u think abt Strider

[Bangi_Sizzles]

why is it, that when i'm here, everybody else has stuff to do.
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*goes off to study*

[Eleanor]

Bangi - I came back - I'm here now - Strider is pretty sexy in a "dirty" way if you know what I mean!
*hee hee, I said dirty*

AND did you like Edward Scissorhands or do you want the real Depp, smoking a cigarette, no doubt!

*zips out to read NY Times*

[slyeyes]

*dashes in briefly after noting the date*

After I became a grown-up, my circle of friends included a few of my former high school teachers and the high school secretary, Marilyn. The secretary told a story about one of the English teachers who USED to be rather shy, retiring and bookish. Along the way, she came out of her shell in grand fashion. After moving to Texas, she would send a postcard to Marilyn at school at this time of year -- this way the postman and everyone could read what was on the card. It was the same message every year.

Hurray! Hurray! The First of May! Outdoor f*@king begins today!

Enjoy!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

*crashes into stealth wolfie in the shadows...oops sorry, didn't notice u being stealthy there. .... u'r good!!*

Sly-- lol!!

El--depp smokes? it is a conspiracy i tell u! these tobacco companies r out to kill everyone i adore!

[kibby F5™]

Bangi! I'm still available, and don't smoke! I'm too "small fry" so the tobacco companies ignore me....

[Bangi_Sizzles]

*crashes into stealth wolfie in the shadows...oops sorry, didn't notice u being stealthy there. .... u'r good!!*

Sly-- lol!!

El--depp smokes? it is a conspiracy i tell u! these tobacco companies r out to kill everyone i adore!

[slyeyes]

*walks in from outdoors, smoking a cigarette*

What?

[Bangi_Sizzles]

*pastes a sign on Kibby's forehead that says-
HA!! U COULDN'T GET THIS GUY!!!
*
*accidentally knocks out Kibby*
heh....sorry...didnt mean to er...paste so hard...

[slyeyes]

By the way, I don't really smoke.

Just being silly.

I do that from time to time, you know.

[Tamara]

Sunday Girlchick reporting for duty!

Please keep me busy today, boychiks, as I just found out the guy I like, whom I maintained a sporadic email correspondance with over the last 5.5 years, doesn't like me back in that way. To put it junior high-ishly. Anyway, I don't want to think about it.

Spent a lot of time at the park this morning, only got sunburned on my cleavage. Weirdness.

Mopey pink-cleavaged Sunday girlchick: Free to good home.

[Bangi_Sizzles]

Hi Tam!!
remember to smell guys to find out if their immune system is compatible with urs. apparently ur nose knows!
AND apparently we use perfume n stuff which enhances our natural smell!
*turns off Discovery Channel and prepares for bed*

[Wurm42]

Tamara- The "Guide to the Guide" section on the Hitchiker's movie web site has this definition of love:

The Encyclopedia Galactica describes 'Love' as being a debilitating psychosomatic illness that is caused by production of various hormones in the victim's body that they are either unaware of, or simply unable to control, and goes on to list the various medical treatments available, how to deal with your friends' unwanted support, and which planets in the galaxy are the best for
tearfully listening to poignant songs on.

The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: "Mostly painful."

Fits, doesn't it?

[D'Artagnan]

So Tamara's cleavage got burned,
So sorry to hear you've been spurned.
He's not into you,
To him, we say 'boo',
To the dating pool, you've returned!

[Bangi_Sizzles]

u r not really mopey, r u Tam?
u're far too pretty and far too smart to have to care abt some dude who doesn't know luck when it falls on him.
unless u really did fall on him, in which case, get El if he sues u

[Wurm42]

Eleanor- I am quite impressed with the creators of the "boobah zone" website you posted last night. I didn't think it was possible to program in Flash while on that many drugs.

Slyeyes- Don't lament PETA championing the rights of fish. This could be their first step down a slippery slope; If they start advocating for un-cute animals, they risk losing their valley girl and hollywood support bases! Can you imagine vapid celebrities coming out or donating money to support stinky dying tuna fish?

[Tamara]

*glares at girlfriend-having Wurm, who just made her start bawling* Wurm, why ya always gotta be nice?

Sigh. Thanks, y'all.

[sandy beach]

Happy Easter Blogchik

[Tamara]

YES, Bangi, I am VERY mopey! He's a nice friend with a terrific brain.

At least I can console myself with knowing he's got his eye on another girl. Who lives in ANOTHER COUNTRY. She is coming to visit him later this month, so of course he can't switch gears for me. So he's just doing the Right Thing, right? Being a good guy, right? Just because he described her as the possible Love of his Life...that doesn't mean anything, right?? Oh, shut up!

[Wurm42]

Tamara- mmmmm...my girlfriend and I had not a fight, but a Serious Discussion last night. Feeling the "mostly painful" side of romance right now.

[Tamara]

Wurm, ((HUGS!)) Lemme know if you want me to rough her up.

And do not forget to take advantage of the free Sunday girlchick.

Love sucks.

[Alex]

Ummm...here?

[Tamara]

ROFLMAO, ALEX!

Wurm, I will cross my fingers for you two as well. And I am going to check out the site now. Anything's got to be better than gorging on Fritos while waiting on Happy Hour.

I've never been rejected before. Dumped, yes, but never rejected before even trying. Stoopid internet making rejecting redheads so damn easy. ((I hate you, Al Gore!))

[Tamara]

WANKER! OMG!! TOOOO FUNNY!!! And too difficult with only a laptop touchpad.

[neophyte]

*quietly leaves many baskets of flowers and candy on the moat's doorstep*

*giggles a bit*

*rings doorbell and runs*

[D'Artagnan]

This useless thing ('love') really sucks,
How wasteful, to chase the wrong butts.
Be happy on your own,
Your heart won't be blown,
By some selfish ridiculous klutz.

[neophyte]

(heh heh, D'Art said "blown")

[Wurm42]

*blanches*

OMG...I had not played Wanker. That is really, really disturbing. To be so abstract and yet so suggestive.

Dont' forget F*ck It while you're doing the dirty games.

[neophyte]

Sigh. It is May Day. When people leave you a May Basket you are supposed to chase them and if you can catch them, you are supposed to kiss them.

But I can't run any slower without falling down.

*walks away muttering*

*cheers up when she remembers she is going out to deliver RL May Baskets with her children*

[Eleanor]

HAPPY MAY DAY, EVERYONE!!!

Sounds like fun, neo -

perhaps one of our limerick writers could give us an appropriate and happy limerick to celebrate the day!!!

[Tamara]

Twas a nice sunny May Day
When I drove down to Hades
To drop off a love note to Guy.
But when I got there,
I found lice in his hair,
And maggots infesting his eyes.
I didn't do it,
And, BIOTCH, you can't prove it;
I'll cut you if you even try!
He had really great eyebrows,
But he wouldn't swap vows,
So now I'll go get drunk and cry.

Why is violent humor so...humorous...when you're miserable?

[Eleanor]

Wurm - boopah site is cool, yes? did you click all around and get noise and things popping up, etc?

My theory re site: Someone on an acid trip was staring at a lava lamp and thought, WOW, if only I could move the lava myself - and the rest is history!

[sandy beach]

*takes new and improved knee and runs after neo*

Candy! Flowers!

D'Art--you are in fine form today. Keep 'em coming!

Tamara--um, your poetry is, um, MUCH better than Vogon poetry!

(Brace for the obligatory "chin up" speech)

Remember, it's all about timing. He didn't reject the gorgeous redhead. He's just busy right now.

*shakes 8-ball*

Yup, it says "Try again later."

/chin up speech

[sandy beach]

I have looked in all the usual places and it seems that Kaf has not been seen in these parts since April 24. Very uncharacteristic of her. Anyone know where she is? Just wondering...

[Eleanor]

sandy - she posted that she would be away for 11 days, something do to with getting high speed...

[sandy beach]

OK, I vaguely remember that... never mind.

[kibby F5™]

Mopey pink-cleavaged Sunday girlchick AND a red-head too!

JUST what I've been looking for... TAMARA!

Neo, where'd the basket tradition come from?

lousey grammer rules!

[neophyte]

You all really and truly don't know about May Baskets?

[kibby F5™]

Ok, Prague MOATies Meet #1 report.

Met Brian and his Uncle for dinner down by the river. It's a nice French resturant C'est L'Vie. (Which really means "Meals with BIG plates to make the entry look lonelier served here.") We selected an outdoor table right on the canal.

Meal selections were:
kibby, Steak - medium rare
Brian, Glazed duck (sorry Fed)
Uncle, Fillet Migon

The conversation was nice and a little explaining to Uncle about the blog and MOAT. Discussed living overseas, Czechs, each others businesses and "guy things" that cannot be repeated on the MOAT.

A few MOATies names were dropped, but in a nice way. And NO connection to the "guy talk" previuosly mentioned.

Photo at the Y tomorrow (need werk computer fer that.)

Brian, Thanks again for dinner and taking the time to meet. Please be sure to thank Uncle again for me. Happy return travel!

[kibby F5™]

Well, I didn't. Don't know about the others.

[kibby F5™]

The giving of May baskets helps to teach children to take joy in giving to others and in making people smile. It also teaches that it isn't even necessary to take credit for a good deed in order to be warmed by it. And what a wonderful way to bring children into one of the most joyous seasonal celebrations of the year!

Well, how does one explain the fertility and womb part of it? Or does that come later when we have to drag the kids door-to-door?

"Come on! Little Joey needs a brother/sister and Mrs. Smith getting her May Basket will help her do that. That's why, this year, we added energy bars."

[insomniac]

On May Day the Commies drove tanks
Whilst marching in columns and ranks
Others gyre and gimble
Round the May phallic-symbol
I'll just for good weather give thanks!

[neophyte]

*gyres and gimbles*

[neophyte]

*and waves a fan in insom's general direction*

[Wurm42]

*with the momeraths, outgrabes*

[slyeyes]

*stumbles in and drops wearily into lounge chair*

What a glorious day! I've been hiking. It was supposed to be rainy and blah this weekend and I decided to spend most of today downtown at the office. But, as I was getting ready to go downtown, I got tempted into going on a hike. I was a real tough customer to tempt, too. "Wanna go on a hike." "Sure!"

Saw wild turkeys, pheasant, deer and elk. Regretfully, I didn't remember to take my camera. I bet the next time I do, I'll only see squirrels.

I'm gonna sleep well tonight. Which is good since I didn't spend time at the office, I'm gonna have to get up early. Oh, well. It was worth it.

*limps out of Moat, pulling a twig out of her hair*

[Alex]

sly -- Awesome.

The majority of my day was spent sick, finishing the last of my college work for the spring, wishing I had done it earlier so I could enjoy the good weather.

*sigh*

I miss fishing. Plenty of time for it this summer, though.

[sandy beach]

To whom it may concern:

My Hotmail is acting like a pill suddenly. Won't let me reply to email! If you have written to me recently, you might not get an answer for awhile.

Stupid, stupid Hotmail. You get what you pay for I guess...

[Tamara]

Vogon poetry:

See, see the bitchy sky
Marvel at its big vomit depths.
Tell me, Di do you
Wonder why the Boobah ignores you?

Why its foobly stare
makes you feel sleepy?
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your farbuthe facial growth
That looks like
A cheese.
What's more, it knows
Your flan potting shed
Smells of broccoli.
Everything under the big bitchy sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm garbages.

From the Vogon Poem Generator, the link to which is apparently Questionable Content.

(Btw...um...sorry, Di!!!)

[Tamara]

Thanks, Sandy & Kibby, for the cheer-ups. And thanks again to Wurm. And Bangi & D'Art. And Marvin & Wolfie & Josh. And Neo for the baskets; I figured I needed them worse than anybody, so I took them all. I'd like to thank all of my friends, none of whom have I called or emailed to tell about my latest self-inflicted misery, because I am a masochist & a martyr & only call friends when things are going well. I'd like to thank the soon-to-be-ex for being such a dick & helping me to feel like I'm not worth the effort. I want to thank that cute female cop who pulled me over this evening for a minor traffic violation and only gave me a warning. HOLD THE MUSIC; I'M NOT DONE YET! I want to thank--I SAID HOLD IT!! I wanna thank the guy I am lamenting over for being available in case I have "questions" regarding how he doesn't feel for me, which is weird but proves I am not crazy for crushing so hard on him. (He is so nice!) And lastly, I want to thank our lord and savior, His Daveness, without whom this mass thanking would not even be possible. *dances off stage to Survivor's "High On You"*

Now that the daughter is asleep, let us break out the wine and ice cream. Hooray!

[wolfie]

Tamara I'd like to formally thank you for making a wolfie sandwich up there^ in your blessing. Cause umm.. well.. just yum.
Also, wine floats sound better in theory than they are in reality. Trust me.
*hands Tamara a straw and a spoon*
And I think one of those baskets was a special one.. it might have been wrapped in brown paper. Have fun.
*giggles and slinks off to reorder that basket*

[Eleanor]

HALLELUJAH!!!
PRAISE HIS DAVENESS!!

*choir can be heard in background*

It's that great choir from Ally McBeal that she went to whenever a guy dumped her!!! And the preacher would say to her, "why do you white chicks only show up here in the African American church when you're depressed about men?"

*zips out in a state of spiritual joy*

[Tamara]

Yaaaay, Alex!

[Alex]

Here's mine:

See, see the loving sky
Marvel at its big chartreuse depths.
Tell me, Jim do you
Wonder why the rat ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel groggy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your gurblurkenfrack facial growth
That looks like
A food.
What's more, it knows
Your creep potting shed
Smells of weed.
Everything under the big loving sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm garbages.

[¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP)]

Tamara, my little girlchik of yesterday. Got here late because the werk internet was off air this morning, so could not command you to cheer up.

*loves Tam a bottle of after-sun lotion and relaxation herbs for over exposed rampartage*

If you need any help applying that, let me (or in fact any other male bloglit) know.

[Alex]

*rereads Vogon poem*

Wait...my potting shed smells of WHAT?! Jerks. They said they wouldn't tell.

[Wurm42]

Is anybody else getting ads on this page that push the text column way over to one side or the other?

[¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP)]

Nope.

[Mad "about Weasel" Scientist]

oh a josh and a duck sighting!!!
(((JOSH))) Welcome back.

Sets out more Duck traps.

[Bismuth]

sandy - I sent you a gmail invitation if you've decided it's worth the effort to switch addresses in order to get rid of hotmail.

...and on that note:

The current best email address to reach me is now my gmail account: RdAbMrPeAiRdT@gmail.c0m

smart MOATies will realize that I, being male, have no ramparts whatsoever. Anyone who is in my hotmail contacts will receive an email update shortly.

[¿wysiwyg? (MBE-LP)]

No ramparts whatsoever? Not just insignificant ones?

[djtonyb]

Thanks to sly for the directions, I would have found youse kids earlier had I checked out the Y!. So I shall repeat myself from the previous MOAT:

Good heavens, I missed an awful lot in the past week or so!

Lab - nice loincloth ;)

Welcome back, Peri Eadn & Fed

Leets - let me know how Erasure is, we're going on Friday the 6th.

(((hugs))) to everyone else!

Now that I've caught up, it's time to get ready for the evening's festivities!

*prepares to flash lights and Boogie Oogie Oogie 'til he just can't Boogie no more*

*remembers to set VCR to record "Family Guy" premier tonight*

Posted by: djtonyb on May 1, 2005 04:36 PM

Also, a big welcome back to Joshkr!!!

*refuses to comment on Mr. Fishair's giving eadn a woody*

[Mad "about Weasel" Scientist]

I have a few posters I would like to hang up in the mad mad moat. Please visit the Y to view them.

[slyeyes]

*head slowly emerges from under a pillow*

*one eye opens and groggily looks around*

Monday! Ugh!

*head goes back under the pillow*

[slyeyes]

*head slowly emerges from under a pillow*

*one eye opens and groggily looks around*

Monday! Ugh!

*head goes back under the pillow*

[Peri]

Hooray! Monday morning!

I LOVE Monday mornings.

*hussles Jamie out the door and off to daycare. Returns to spend the day....doing whatever she wants!*

I think I'll start with a nap.