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April 17, 2003

WACKY MISTRESS OF COMEDY STRIKES AGAIN!

Now this is funny.

Comments

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Welcome! Ignore the spam. I'll post a lot and it will go away.

post

Gee, just when I want to triple post, I can't

Gee, just when I want to triple post, I can't

I'll also send an e-mail to judi and see if she can evict the previous tenants.

split double post is pretty good though sly especially when split by Marvin

*zips in*

Can we talk about stuff from the Old MOAT?? Thanks.

I like Counting Crows a lot. I'm also interested these days in Green Day, which CG says is punk rock, but it doesn't sound like that to me!

Take a letter Maria
And send it to my wife
Tell her I won't be coming home again
I'm going to start a new life!
Need I say more? I don't think so....

MIB- Don't ever watch the simple life in any language under any circumstances. That show sucks out your brain cells... As in that show just made my IQ drop.

And who do you think the new life is with????

Want to guess???

Take 30 seconds...

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
You got it - Maria!
That is all.

El - I love counting crows and green day is cool. They get a little overplayed sometimes. You should check out a band called Jump, Little Children. Yes weird name, but great music.

MIB - Yes all the reality shows are bad. My sister in Denmark watches all the Bachelor reruns because it is one of the few shows in English. Then she will ask me things about episodes and I'm like I never watched that how should I know. She is can't imagine why I scoff at the show.

Ok well I am off. Goodnight all!

Marie - and you're gonna MARRY this person?!?!?

Just kidding! Although I'd try to get him onto non-reality shows ASAP...

El - Green Day definitely started out as a Punk band. I saw them in concert and feared for my life in the mosh pit....

Watch out, everyone! NASA has started sneaking pictures of uranus.

*dizzily catches up* CONGRATS DJT!!!

Judi has a website? How did I miss that?

*awakens from Champagne-induced nap*

Josh, I think they're talking about the Message Board on Davebarry.com. judi tries not to mention it so much here, because the Herald has their own Message Board for Dave, but the one on the Davebarry.com homepage is hosted by WorldCrossing.

DJTonyB, congratulations!!

MOTW, ROFL at the politically correct stupidity definitions from earlier!

Question for those who are better note-takers than I: Judi and Mike's forumns just got mentioned today..I'm aware that many bloglits have blogs or personal web sites, but I only have URLs for a few. Does anyone have a list of such sites? If so, how about posting it in the Ymoat somewhere? Thanks!

Marvin!!!! What a great web site! Thanks! I bookmarked it and have been watching some of the videos!

Hey, Wurm! I think there's already a little list of "Bloglit's Blogs" on the Y! Group, they're in a folder when you click on "Links"

so where exactly did mikey post this thing that got eleanor to visit, and got you talking about COUNTING CROWS, the best band in the universe? ;)

Oh - and djtonyb - I've always like "UBD error" - for User Be Dumb. Sounds so official.

On the Moat we just left judi - here's the link, I hope!!!
http://weblog.herald.com/column/davebarry/archives/010461.html

is that good enough for now????

And while you're here judi, can you delete the spam in the first 5 posts on this MOAT? Please!

i did already, eleanor. do you still see it?

Here judi

*listening to Counting Crows*

Whoa - judi's here too! Sweeeeet...

Thanks for killing the spam!

Oh, and BareNaked Ladies are the greatest band ever.....

*ducks and hides*

ju-DI, ju-Di, ju-DI. - Thank you!

"I see dead spam"

Meaning: thank you, Judi!

I agree, Higgy

Barenaked ladies are the greatest ever

Wait, they're a band, too?

Rain King

I also love Barenaked Ladies! I was watching VH1 one day and my friend Brian (not CG) came over and was talking and I said, Oh Barenaked Ladies! He almost broke his neck turning around to see the TV!!! too bad :(

Marie does haikus
she doesn't like them too much
but mine are much worse

Insane MOATies: The
Normal around these here parts.
Stay Normal, MOATies.

*puts on some Celtophile for Marie*

Talk about Extreme Makeovers!

Among other things, it discusses "G-spot enhancement".

I've either killed the blog, or everyone is on the phone, making their appointments.

Or maybe making their moves ;)

I've read about this before - for the women!

El: I'd like the Toronto Trim please, Doctor
Dr. Where do you live?
El: San Diego, you know, su.so.ca.
Dr. I'm sorry, the Toronto Trim won't work for you, but as soon as we develop the So.Ca. shiftshape, we'll give you a call.
El: OK, I guess....

I see we've moved again. I like the choice whomever made it.
*giggles*
MistressMOAT.

Well, I've been on the phone, but not with any surgeons. Especially not about...that. Down there. You know.

Yeah.

So, how 'bout that local sports team?

El, *snork*

One of the attorneys at work asked me today if I watch a certain reality show. I can't remember which one he was talking about. It's fairly new and one of the really sucky sounding ones. I was quite surprised that 1) he watched it and 2) he admitted it.

One whose premise sounds particularly stooopid to me is "The Real Gilligan's Island."

Real?? REAL??

One of the ads for it says "What happens on Gilligans Island, stays on Gilligan's Island."

Do they not know there are cameras recording everything to tell everyone what happens.

Unless they know the ratings are going to suck and no one will know what happens.

Tony, I'm very happy to hear the certification went well for you.

Our very own Certified Moatie!!

sly - down here in South Florida, they just advertise it on the radio - Call 999-555-4407 for all your plastic surgery needs; We specialize in Vaginal Rejuvenation, buy one breast implant, mention this ad and get the second one free!

Thanks, sly, we do have a few nerds around here, but now I have a certification to prove it! ;)

Buy one get one free?

One would think the term "Breast implants" implies a "twofer".

eleanor, lemme know if you want any boots. i've got hundreds of em ;)

Hey, what's this about judi giving Eleanor the boot?

wurm42 - I'm 50% normal, so that test is pretty tolerant.

*wondering how rumor monger put the name in the last post...it's not showing in blue now...(or my computer is acting up)*

Jeff - even I feel kind of old reading Judi's site. And yet not old enough to really appreciate good music that happened before I was aware of the music "scene". (Clapton, Stones, Buffett, etc.) le sigh...

sly - I am not making this up! I actually heard this radio ad very late night while driving back from a wedding gig south of Miami. I, too, thought that if one was going to upgrade, you would do both at once regardless of what was on sale that week...

Wow.. nice digs!!
*drags out velvet whip hammock and box'o'goodies*
I'm back in business.

I'm back from the indulgent evening that was my sister's 30th birthday dinner. We went to Element Restaurant at the Camelot Hotel. It had amazing food and drinks, but somewhere between the antipasto platter and the main, I picked up my (just turned 2yr old) niece and she fell asleep in my arms. I had the chicken salad, and I had to ask my Dad to cut up my meat for me!! Afterwards, everyone was so full, we only had coffee to end the meal, no one wanted dessert.. they had no room left! BTW.. Soup of the Day.. Fish Chowder, Pasta of the Day... Spaghetti with a Puttanesca-type sauce, Fish of the Day ... grilled Terakihi with an orange lemon sauce and a pile of salad veges so high you couldn't jump over them. All in all, great food, but more pricey than my usual fare.

DJT... Congratulations!!! Best of luck on the job prospects! It sounds like you're (not your) getting the best of both worlds!
Also.. just out of curiosity.. if you rang the plastic surgeon, booked in for a boob job, but forgot to mention the ad, do you only get one implant? I know the question has kinda been covered already, but I just can't get an image out of my head of humdreds of "lopsided" women running around Florida. I think that would be really funny in a Salvador Dali kind of way.

Wurm. I stand corrected on the "assault and battery" quote. Although, being that he threw a corded phone at the clerk, I don't see where it would need a battery.

MOTW... You forgot He couldn't find his a** with both hands and a flashlight.

MiB.. the only reality shows I ever watch are The Amazing Race (until recently this was the only one) and Remarkabale Vet. The latter is a local "slice of life city guy goes to the country" type of thing, but it's really nice. A vet from Auckland (popn 1.something million) goes to a two-horse town in the country to become the local vet and a camera crew follow him around. Only at work, not at home, so it's really about the animals rather than him. It's a nice show to watch on a Sunday evening. Other than that, I don't bother with reality television at all.

*goes to hit post and see if anyone else is around yet.*

*smacks head on Moat Post*

Ow!! Damnit!!

*goes to hit post button*

My sister just emailed me a wonderful Garfield "poster" that I wish I could link to... but a 10 second Google search failed to find it and it's almost midnight, so I'm giving up and I'm just going to quote it here...
"We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent, and my head couldn't hold any more, so it started filling up the rest of me!"
That's my new excu... reason for my very generously shaped figure. Migrating Brain Cells. (WBAGNFARB?)

Morning MOATies…..

Attention my fellow fanatics of all things musical!

I'm soliciting opinions

Does anyone that has heard the debut CD by "Antigone Rising" think that the lead vocals could be Polly (with a studio, backup singers and a band that is)?

I don't mean it really IS Polly …..they look nothing alike ….. I'm talking about voice here.

Oh, and Kaf, allow me to add an addendum to your addendum to MOTW's list...

He couldn't find his a** with both hands and a flashlight..... in a hall of mirrors.

Tony, I didn't mean to sound as though I doubted you on the commercial. I was doubting the company doing the advertising.

I can see getting only one done in when the implant is due reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy. But I would think someone going through that would go to someone recommended by their doctor. This "Buy one boob get the other free" sounds like a strip mall operation.

I can see a place like that putting in an implant on one side then saying, OK, that one was free. If you want us to upgrade the other side from an AA cup to a D, that will be $10,000.

Kaf, now I'm starving after your restraurant story.

Goodnight!

If you need me, just come and rattle the hammock. Either that or crawl in next to me. I need to keep warm. Belated weather update. I thought today would be a good day because it was about 40F when I left the house. It was still 40F at lunchtime. And 3pm. Also when I got home at 10:15 (or thereabouts). Overcast and occasional showers. Blah. AccuWeather (now there's an oxymoron... but I digress) says around 52 and cloudy tomorrow. Yay.

Brat *snork!!*

MiB.. the rings are a great idea... except that I don't want any of my teeth pulled ever. Also my wisdom teeth spent years growing, receding back into the gum, growing, receding, etc. Now, they're in "recessive" mode and I hope they stay there.

In the morning when I'm awake (as opposed to now, when I'm asleep on my feet..) I will tell you the story of my clothes shopping (if I told you part one.. you've missed part two.. the nightmare continues! If I skipped part one, [it would be on the last Moat] then I'll do the whole piece again.) and my "God moment" in the laundry.

Later, taters!

peeking out from behind a MOAT post timidly Hi judi!

peeking out from behind a MOAT post timidly Hi judi!

Here's a picture from the storm yesterday afternoon. It was taken at Jefferson Barrack's National Cemetary.

I'm 45% normal.
While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

I'll buy that.

Wurm: Actually, I purchased a guitar for the Soon-To-Be-Ex two Christmases ago, then a guitar for the munchkin this past Christmas... And NEITHER of those two knuckleheads returned the favor by purchasing a guitar for ME! (Of course, the preschooler is all, "I'm not even allowed to have a job yet, and the doow to the music stowe is too heavy for me to open by myself..." I know! LAME excuses, right? But really good pronunciation too, though, ya notice? Ya, she has a little trouble with her "R"s and a little bit of a Georgia twang, but her vocabulary and diction are pretty impressive if you ask me, which...you probably didn't, and your eyes are kinda glazing over...) - So anyway--and I've decided to just start rambling now; you can move along to the next post if you like--this guitar is a major SPLURGE-purchase for me and VERY exciting!
...
Huh. That wasn't really much of a ramble. I guess us only-45%-normal people like to post our ramble-warnings after the fact.

You know, I had one specific purpose for starting this post, and I think I will get to it NOW: While the munchkin is interested in learning guitar & studies the How-To-Play DVD intently, she's not really learning to play, cuz I'm too busy learning myself to assist her, and because learning guitar is PAINFUL. Ask my first three left-hand fingers. Maybe if I put Blue's Clues Band-Aids on her fingers, she could try, but I think 4-yrs old might just be too young. She's handy with a wooden spoon on a soup pot though!

That was really an impressive ramble, if I do say so myself. *bows*

*waves* Hiya igloo. Don't see you around these parts too often. Good to see you pop in now and again.

G'mornin everyone.
Bossman isn't in so far today.. to work or to slack.. that is the question.

Wurm ~ ty for the link. They made up my mind for me.
Apparently I'm 65% normal. I have quirks that make me endearing. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
My Star Wars pickup line.. "You will go home with me. It is unavoidable. It is your destiny" I think I like that.
How sinful am I...
Lust 60%
Pride 0% (interesting combo that is)
Chance I'll go to h*ll 14% (I can work on that I think)
And I will die of a yet to be discovered STD.(oh goody)

There was more I wanted to comment on, but I've forgotten.
Chance I have memory like a strainer 100%

*zips in*

Good morning everyone from Gloomy but still not humid su.so.ca.!

Kaf - the kitty sleeping in the closet is super adorable! And I want to publicly commend Kaf for telling us her temps in Farenheit, since we here in the U.S. of A. refuse to learn either Celsius or the metric system! However, IF they use Farenheit in NZ, then I take it back, but I still love the kitty picture!

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself.

55% normal. Yep, that's me.

Kaf, I loved the goodnight picture.

Sly, the storm picture was another really good one.

Tamara, I pretty much avoided the sore fingers learing banjo, but mainly because it was a gradual learning. You're probably moving a lot faster than I did...so I don't really have any advice for sore fingers...although bandaids don't really work.

hey, igloo - nice to see you here - I wrote a poem for you on the "peeing cat" thread - check it out! *snork*

S&G - nice way to start the morning Susan -

How about some Counting Crows today - maybe we can get judi to listen!!!

Today's "Word of the Day" from Webster's Dictionary is quincunx.

Kinda looks dirty, doesn't it. It's not.

Today's "Word of the Day" from Webster's Dictionary is quincunx.

Kinda looks dirty, doesn't it. It's not.

I love bagpipes! We used to have friends who were Scottish (?) and they had New Year's Eve parties and at midnight we'd all go outside and Eddie would play the pipes! Ahhhh - good times!

Celine has a beautiful voice and she's OK to listen to, but when you're watching her, you're always looking and waiting for the fist pump in the air, which pretty much distracts you from the song - here it comes, here it comes, no not yet, yes, no, oooh YES! It's like waiting for your orgasm!!! *snork*

Boy, it took a while to find you guys!

DjT,

On some of the computer terms, I always liked PICNIC (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer)

a la:

Tech Support #1: What do you have on tap today?
Tech Support #2: Some dude can't find the 'Any' key. This job is a picnic.

Jeff,

Responding to your question from the previous MOAT, I have satellite radio. I've been a subscriber to Sirius since Christmas. I friggin' LOVE it!
I'm also a stock holder and have been since 2002 or 2003 so I'm probably a bit biased as to my preference. However, a lot of the reviews I read comparing the two services normally give Sirius the edge in content and programming.
I'm pretty sure that Leetie has XM (based in Washington D.C.) so you might want to contact her for an opinion.
You might also hold off on either service until the new summer products come out. XM just signed an agreement with Audible to produce a portable unit that will have audio book capability. In my opinion, XM's first attempt at a portable (the MyFi) is a bit pricey for what you get.
This summer both XM and Sirius should be rolling out portables. There is also a LOT of speculation that Sirius and Apple may be working on what I am affectionately refering to as a SkyPod. An iPod with satrad capability.

I guess I'm trying to say, do some research find out which service fits your needs and make a decision based on content and programming since the hardware is all pretty much the same.

I'm currently using the Sirius Sportster radio with the car docking kit and I have the boombox that the Sportster plugs into also.

I don't know how into sports you are but here's a little content run down on sports:

Sirius: NBA, NHL, NFL, NASCAR, Premiership Soccer, probably a bunch of other stuff I'm missing.

XM: MLB and Golf

What test? I think I missed something - help!!!

Jeff,

I almost forgot, that Cousin Bruce or whatever his name was that they took off the Oldies Station just signed an agreement to be on Sirius.

I GOT FIELD BOX SEATS TO SUNDAY'S CARDS/YANKEES GAME!!!

Judi: Thanks! We all love you! Your site looks interesting and I'll be joining. I'd love to swap new music ideas with you!

Tony: Congrats, my friend! I'm very happy for you!

Everyone: I really appreciate you all. More than I can really express or understand. And, thanks for including The Wench as one of us!

The results are in and it's pretty much what I expected.

You Are 55% Normal
(Somewhat Normal)

Wolfie: "In time you will call me...Master."

Oh, that's my Star Wars pickup line, in case you were wondering.

I guess it goes along with my Penis Name: Darth Vader

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Your Political Profile
Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Susan, looks like we got the same "weirdness" rating.

Marie, thanks for the great article! THis is a favorite:

21. Tell Laura I love her Ray Peterson (1960)
Tell Laura was the first of the infamous teenage car-crash songs of the early 1960s, where adolescents get incinerated in fiery auto wrecks due to their altruism and stunning lack of common sense. A love-struck teenager named Tommy impulsively enters a stock car race so he can buy a wedding ring for his girl Laura with the prize money. One problem: he knows nothing about racing and flips his car which bursts into flames. As he's pulled from the wreckage coughing carbon, Tommy's dying words of "Tell Laura I love her" permeate the song's weepy chorus. It was covered in the UK by Welsh singer Ricky Valance the same year and topped the charts.

And El's favorite Neil Diamond is there too!

I'm 30% normal
but the picture they displayed was just hideous.

Y'all like taking quizes? Try this one.

Let's say that I have a vested interest in that one, having a family member who needs it.

I'm 30% normal
but the picture they displayed was just hideous.

Y'all like taking quizes? Try this one.

Let's say that I have a vested interest in that one, having a family member who needs it.

MOTW's having multiples! Pass it on.

I can and will play a little Counting Crows for judi.

I think I may also play "All By Myself", by Eric Carmen, just to rid my mind of any thought of it by Celine. I do like some of her songs, but that one is not one of them.

I won't be playing "Tell Laura I Love Her", however. Before our computer crash that one got played quite a bit...I have no desire to hear it again any time soon.

Marie, if you listen today I'll play it on the request show..

And Kenny Rogers & the First Edition! El isn't going to like this.

"Seasons in the Sun" and "Honey"!

But no "Patches" by Dickie Lee? ("It may not be right, but I'll join you tonight, Patches I'm coming to you." This is after Patches drowned herself in the "dirty old river" that flows past "old shanty town" where she lives.)

I love bagpipes! We used to have friends who were Scottish (?) and they had New Year's Eve parties and at midnight we'd all go outside and Eddie would play the pipes! Ahhhh - good times!

That's a coincidence, El, as I know an Eddie who plays the bagpipes too! Could it be... naah. The family who owned the two-family house where we lived before I got married were named MacDonald and one year their son (Eddie) went to visit the "old country" and came back with bagpipes, which he used to practice in the back yard.

Nevertheless, I've always liked them too. There are always a couple of guys playing them on Princes Street in Edinburgh, looking for donations.

Brian B: thanks for the satellite help. Yes, Brucie (who went to my high school and was the celebrity guest at one of the homecoming games when I was in school) signed with Sirius. Of course Jackie objects because they also signed Howard Stern. As for sports, MLB is #1 with me but I'll be getting it for the music so I don't worry about that part.

We'll check and watch for the summer stuff you mentioned. Thanks again.

I GOT FIELD BOX SEATS TO SUNDAY'S CARDS/YANKEES GAME!!!

Way to go, sly! You can compare those with our nosebleed seats on July 4th.

MOTW ~ Did you see how longgggg that quizz is? 101 questions? I'll have to take it in parts.

Brian B ~ We forgive you for being all red like that.

Jeff ~ Oh my. *drools and faints*

Thanks Wolfie!

I also forgive the rest of the MOAT for being all blue like that. ;)

By the way, fantastic Daily Show the other night with Colin Powell. I thought it was an excellent interview.

MiB's post of 8:19 -
("Band of Gold")

Now that you're gone
All that's left is a band of bone
At least until I build your clone
I will be alone!

And the joining of our DNA
Will haunt me to my dying day!

They took cells
From our jaws and put them
in a Petri dish.
(Isn't 'osteoblast' a kind of fish?)
We kissed when they took our cells
But you went with a sterile wipe
And told me 'You're just not my type'.

I wait in the darkness of my lonely lab,
Barely covered with a gown so drab
Hoping soon that you'll walk through those doors
And give me those cells of yours!

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal
You're like most people most of the time
But you've got those quirks that make you endearing
You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

My score: 65% normal (really normal) I find the last sentence above very condescending and patronizing - hmmmph!

AM I the only one who thinks that Dolores who Susan is interviewing sounds like Dolly Parton?

And Marie, make sure you listen for the song I requested for you!

MOTW: Interesting test.

Your results indicate that it is unlikely that you have adult ADD.

Well I could have told them that!

Brian: another good test!

You are a

Social Liberal
(61% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(36% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.

That sounds about right.

Tell Laura I Love Her is right up there with Indiana Wants Me a great, too funny, very cheesy song!

And - speaking of Neil Diamond :), how about Sweet Caroline, Susan? Or anything EXCEPT Cracklin' Rosie - UGH!

Brian: I was just e-mailing Eleanor how disappointed we were that Jon Stewart pulled his punches with Colin Powell. As in:

You said you had absolute proof that Iraq had WMDs. What happened?

I think he was somewhat in awe and maybe a little afraid to be "not liked" so he was too polite. He has no trouble in his solo segments.

*stands holding three very large suitcase and a duffle bag that won't stop wiggling*

Can I put these down, now? Is this where we are camping out for the next few wee--, er da--, er hours?

*shakes duffle bag*
Stay still! Don't make me tighten those straps!

"Indiana Wants Me"...much more fun than "Tell Laura..."

And I think I can do "Sweet Caroline"...wonder if Judi is listening...well, I'll play the Counting Crows anyway...in a little bit.

Marie: bummer. She's playing "My Maria" for you right now!

Rocky mountain high. Ahhhhh.. memories
Ty Susan

Going back to a question someone had wayyyy up there ↑ .. how does rumor monger not have a name show up in blue on a post?

Punky! You're here! Welcome home!!!

Sly: When I got my word of the day email today, I immediately forwarded it to several friends and asked, "Why do we need a word for this?" heh heh

Hi Jeff!

p.s. I love John Denver's music and I'm not ashamed to admit it. (well, maybe a little ashamed.)

wolfie, I had wondered that. The name showed up red when I put the cursor over it, but no email address showed up in the lower left corner of the screen. I wondered how that was done.

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