Dave Barry's Blog

HIGHER EDUCATION

Swansea University puts up toilet instruction posters

(Thanks to ligirl)

WE CAN'T BELIEVE WE MISSED THIS

Horse Fly Named in Honor of Beyonce

(Thanks to Omniskeptic)

CSI: SALEM

Man Can't Tell If Taxi Driver Urinated or Used Windex

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Scientists from the University of Cambridge and the University of Warwick said they had devised a "Ponytail Shape Equation," which when calculated using the Rapunzel Number and a measure of the curliness of hair can be used to predict the shape of any ponytail.

(Thanks to The Perts)

CATCH HIM BEFORE HE STARTS DOING THE DISHES

Man breaks into South Bend home, vacuums and folds laundry

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Jeff Meyerson)

THANKS, BUT WE'LL JUST GO TO A BAR

Imagine this: You're quietly sipping coffee when your seat suddenly shrinks, your table shoots upward, and the music switches from soothing jazz to screamo in a heartbeat. That's the usual scenario inside the Kauko coffee shop in Helsinki, Finland, where you can grab a steaming cup of coffee for free...as long as you can endure abrupt changes in your environment that can be controlled by anyone with an internet connection.

(Thanks to jon harris)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER*

Bell High School is only the most recent victim in a string of tuba thefts from music departments.

(Thanks to qsman)

*Musically, this is true, right?

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

A government minister in Zimbabwe says work has stopped on new reservoirs because workers have been scared off - by mermaids.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS

Runway models falling down.

(Doo-dah, doo-dah.)

(Thanks to ParkRanger)

CONCRETE COMPANY OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Concrete Company of the Week.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

SEND THEM TO... NO, WAIT, THEY'RE ALREADY THERE

Giant foam presidents
 to run alongside 
undie-wearing racers

(Thanks to Carl Youngdahl)

A FLORIDA ETC.

Woman, 73, accused of driving getaway car in bungled burglary

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

NEVER MIND

A conservation group demonstrating an anti-poaching method for reporters in South Africa accidentally killed the rhinoceros they were using in the demonstration.

(Thanks to Lani)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER...

...for the Highfalutin' Heifers.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR

NYC sewage plant to offer Valentine's Day tours

(Thanks to jon harris)

PRIORITIES

New Facebook group asks Prime Minister to postpone any plans to a strike of Iran's nuclear facilities until after the Queen of Pop's planned May 29 visit.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

BECAUSE HOCKEY IS NOT VIOLENT ENOUGH

Players on each four-man team attempt to score using a beach-ball sized soccer ball. The video shows players shocking each other with the stun guns. With each successful stun, players collapse to the turf, writhing in pain.

(Thanks to The Perts)

HE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT

One-legged suspect attempts to elude police

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

SOUNDS UN-AMERICAN TO THIS BLOG

Tire Socks.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM

A 32-year-old model who held the record for the world's largest implants has walked away from a car crash after her breasts acted as an airbag.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)