Dave Barry's Blog

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We have plenty of time to listen to him talk about Miami.

And books and some other stuff.

ADVISORY

Today I turn EVEN OLDER THAN I ALREADY WAS, if such a thing is possible. It's a grim occasion, but I did get a thoughtful gift from judi in the form of a Cher Barbie doll, designed by famous designer Bob "Bob" Mackie. As you can see, Barbie Cher looks every bit as lifelike as the actual Cher, although she is somewhat shorter.

(Cher is the one on the right.)

I'm going to celebrate being old by going on vacation, so blogging from me will be sporadic for the next 10 days. You folks have a fine Independence Day tomorrow. If you're planning to have potato salad at your picnic, remember the advice of the U.S. Bureau of Consumer Alarm: "If you eat potato salad outdoors in warm weather, make sure you drink a LOT of beer."

DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE ANY OPENINGS?

Naked Friday

(Thanks to DJTonyB)

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

(Thanks to Renee the First)

A PLEA TO WOMEN

Keep it down.

(So to speak.)

(Thanks to queensbee)

AS IF MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT WASN'T ALREADY ENOUGH OF A GAMBLE

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

THIS JUST IN

(Thanks to catmanmax)

THEY PLAN TO TRADE 17 OF THEM FOR FONDUE SETS

Couple get 24 toasters as wedding gifts

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AND AT LEAST TWO-THIRDS OF THEM LIVE IN MY YARD

A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered.

(Dr. Doug)

CAN WE DO THIS WITH CONGRESS?

(Thanks to queensbee)

SWEDISH MEDICAL CARE UPDATE

Oops.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

JAPAN

Land of weirdness mystery.

(Thanks to Greg Geil, who says, "I am guessing these young men are single")

COMPETITIVE SWIMMING

There's a lot of pressure.

(Thanks to Siouxie and Jonathan)

IT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A PROBLEM IF HE HAD KEPT HIS, UM, POSSESSIONS IN A CLEAR, ONE-QUART, RESEALABLE PLASTIC BAG

Hijinks ensue when an air passenger gets naked.

Here's a report from Dick Knipfing.

(Thanks to Cynthia, Horace Labadie and Jeff Meyerson, who also sends this item, which we might already have blogged but it involves naked people so what the hell)

THE LAND DOWN UNDER

Queenstowner Mark Ferguson, 42, turned heads and dropped jaws when he turned up to the underwear raceday wearing just carpet slippers and a pair of tiny white underpants which he shared with inflatable friend "Brian".

(Thanks to Bill Moore)

THANKS, WE ALREADY ATE

(Thanks to A to the M to the C, who says he took this photo at the National Zoo in Washington)

YET ANOTHER CHANCE FOR BUDDY

Name Our Holes

(Thanks to SharonCville)

UPDATE: It's a groundswell.

WHY WE LOVE GUYS

They're practical.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS NOT ABOUT PUNCTUATION

Swedish docs cleared over misplaced colon

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE'RE GETTING CHOKED UP

Michael Jackson Butter Statue Tribute Planned in Iowa

(Thanks to Rick Harover)