August 16, 2018

ARETHA FRANKLIN

She's gone. But her voice will always be with us. She was the best. 

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:30 AM
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HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM CASTING VIN DIESEL?

Filmmaker Tony Kaye Casts Robot As Lead Actor In Next Feature

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:22 AM
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HE WILL BE ISSUED MULTIPLE FLORIDA LICENSES

A Spanish driver astounded police this weekend when he was found to be under the influence of every drug officers could check for

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:17 AM
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ALONG WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL AND $20.38 WORTH OF LOOSE CHANGE

This Woman Lost Her Contact Lens. Doctors Found It in Her Eyelid 28 Years Later.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "It's always the last place you look.")

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:16 AM
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TIME TO GET A NEW HOBBY

A 25-year-old man from southern China ate 87 nails and 7 push pins earlier this month, which resulted in doctors performing a four-hour surgery two days later to extract the metal objects, according to Chinese video platform Mango TV.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:13 AM
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THAT WILL BREAK YOUR STRIDE

Morphet explained how he was running good and had a comfortable lead when he turned a corner and saw two bears, presumably grizzlies judging by their humps.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:09 AM
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THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Deflating mascot mistaken for giant breast in New Chitose Airport, Hokkaido, Japan.

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:05 AM
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APPARENTLY IT WAS URGENT

Naked man breaks into liquor store, only steals one can of Coke

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:02 AM
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ALSO TWO COWS WERE ON THE LOOSE

7:28 p.m. Two men named Bob were fighting each other in Kalispell.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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YOU KNOW THIS WILL WIND UP AS REALITY TV

SF forming Poop Patrol to keep sidewalks clean

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 09:58 AM
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NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

College Students Develop A Shoe-Tying Robot

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 09:55 AM
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FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

These mysterious pink and red blobs have led to widespread speculation about extraterrestrial lifeforms landing in the Scottish Highlands.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 09:53 AM
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BOLO

Police investigating $100,000 ramen noodle heist in Georgia

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Jane Linderman, Le Petomane, Rick Day, Rob Simbeck, PapaJohnB, John Lobert and Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 09:50 AM
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AS A PRECAUTION, CANADA SHOULD BE EVACUATED

Why Are All These Vaseline Jars Showing Up on a Calgary Street?

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2018 at 09:38 AM
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August 15, 2018

SOUTH FLORIDA POLITICAL ISSUE OF THE DAY SO FAR

Mayor tells commissioner: You make a living off anal bleaching. It’s a #MeToo moment, she says

Actual excerpt from story: Lima-Taub told the Miami Herald that she does not profit from bleaching her own anus.

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 04:53 PM
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POOP PAYS

‘Mystery pooper’ will get more than $100K from school district

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 12:31 PM
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DOES THIS MEAN 'JERSEY SHORE' WILL COME BACK?

The six extremely high energy bursts of electromagnetic energy, which were identified more than years ago, showed evidence of complex time-reversible wavelike behaviour – in which time itself appears to repeat backwards.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "And disco can live forever.")

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 10:34 AM
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STAND TALL, AMERICA

America's hottest export? Sperm

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 10:31 AM
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NOTE THAT WE ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF THE NAME OF THE JUDGE

Canadian Rectal Smuggler Catches a Break on Appeal

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 10:27 AM
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THERE IS NOTHING LOWER THAN AN AVOCADO RUSTLER

Nurseries in New Zealand are struggling to keep up with demand for avocado trees as the country's love of the pulpy fruit has seemingly fuelled a crime wave, it's been reported.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2018 at 10:22 AM
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